Bad Girls (50 page)

Jennifer’s huge, thick-lashed eyes took in the scene before her, Skye still sitting on Joe’s lap.

‘Is that the girl from the video?’ she asked, horrified.

‘Hi,’ Skye said weakly, sliding off Joe and onto the stone rim of the fountain.

‘Jen? What’s up?’ A stunning woman appeared in the patio doorway.

Now
she
looks like a movie star, Skye thought appreciatively. Tall, imposing and slender without being scarily thin, the woman’s blue-black hair was piled on top of her head, her thick eyebrows shaped into perfect commas above her long, slightly slanted dark eyes. Her crimson trouser suit fitted her perfectly.

‘Ah, shit,’ Joe sighed, standing up. ‘The Alsatian.’

‘What did you say?’ Jennifer snapped.

‘I said, Hi, Carmen,’ Joe said, nodding at his publicist.

‘What the hell are you doing here, Joe?’ Carmen demanded.

‘It’s a reunion,’ Joe said, shrugging. ‘This kid I got to know wanted us all here the day he left.’

‘Touching,’ Carmen said bitingly. ‘And you couldn’t spare the time to let me know?’

‘Hey, Carmen, I took a dump this morning,’ Joe said. ‘Sorry I didn’t IM you about that too.’

Carmen sneered at him magnificently down her long, elegant nose.

‘He was making out with her, Carmen,’ Jennifer Downs said, gesturing at Skye.

Carmen and Jennifer both turned to look at Skye, who instinctively sat up straighter under their scrutiny. Being stared at by Carmen was like being skewered with a javelin.

‘Pretty,’ Carmen said, shrugging. ‘But God, you’re such a straight man, Joe! Blonde with big boobs – talk about conventional taste!’

‘Hey,’ Skye said angrily, ‘I’m right here!’

But Carmen was already turning away.

‘We can spin this,’ she said over her shoulder. ‘If anyone finds out, you came to meet Jen here, have some counselling, help her to forgive you. But I don’t want
anything
more about you and this fucking rehab shit if I can avoid it. We need to get out of here, pronto.’

‘And that’s an order,’ Joe said, swinging himself to his feet, holding out his arm for Jen to take. ‘Come on, darling!’ he said in a fake British accent. ‘Let’s get out of here and have a cup of tea!’

Is that it? Skye thought, unable to believe the speed with which everything had been ripped away from her.

Joe looked back at her for a moment, sitting by the fountain, her blonde curls hanging to her shoulders, the printed skirt of her sundress belling out to her knees, looking as pretty as a picture, the heroine in a fairy tale. Apart from the shock and anger in her big blue eyes.

Joe took in the sight, smiling at her. One eye closed in a long wink. And then he was ushering Jennifer through the door, into the Cascabel building, vanishing from sight.

Skye had to sink her nails into her palms to fight the urge to jump up, run after him, grab the world-famous movie star hanging on his arm and drag Jennifer off him.

I’ve already lost him. I’m not going to make a fool of myself as well.

But she had never felt so bleak as she did then, staring at the door through which Joe had disappeared. Knowing that she would never see him again; unless she turned on the TV and caught sight of him. Or bought a ticket to one of his movies.

Amber

A
mber was still holding onto the back of her chair, unable to move. She couldn’t take her eyes off Dr Lucy and Dr Raf, who were standing by the windows. Dr Lucy was hissing furiously into his face like an enraged cobra spitting venom; Dr Raf was barely speaking, but had a hand on her elbow like a gentle restraint, clearly to block her from lunging back into the room to launch another attack on Amber.

I should just go,Amber thought sadly. There’s nothing here for me.

She glanced over at Petal, who was curled up on the arm of Brian’s chair as Brian patted her arm rather awkwardly with one hand; in the other he was sipping from a bottle of water.

‘I’m sorry,’ Petal was muttering. ‘I ruined everything.’

‘Oh, come on, dude,’ Brian said. ‘You’re not
that
important.’

Petal managed a stifled giggle. Neither of them looked over at Amber. Joe had slipped off with Skye – Good, Amber thought; she wants him, and I don’t – but it left Amber with no one in the room to talk to. No one in the whole of Cascabel.

Practically no one in the world.

Slowly, she unclamped her fingers from the chair back, and walked across the room to the door, telling herself not to look back for one last glimpse of Dr Raf.

What would be the point? He’s Dr Lucy’s now. He put his ring on her finger. He’s made his choice.

There was a lump in her throat the size of a golf ball. She wanted very badly to go home, grab one of Slava’s many vials of pills, and sink as many as she needed to float away on a happy haze where Dr Raf was just another indistinct figure in the far distance.

But if I did that, I’d lose my memories of Dr Raf. And those are worth any amount of pain.

She was at the door, succeeding in her resolution not to look back, when Dr Lucy said vindictively: ‘That’s right! Get out of here and don’t come back!’

‘Lucy—’ Dr Raf protested.

‘She’s a whore!’ Dr Lucy insisted.

Amber’s hand was on the door handle, but that insult made her swing round.

‘Hey!’ Brian said, shoving Petal aside so that he could stand up. ‘That’s, like, totally going too far.’ His voice was cracking with the stress of confronting Dr Lucy, but he continued bravely: ‘You shouldn’t talk to anyone like that. It’s, like, really sexist. Besides, no one believes what Petal said. She was just acting out because she felt like you were picking on her.’

‘I bloody wasn’t,’ Petal muttered. ‘And I bet the
National Investigator
’d like to hear about this as well.’

‘Petal! Shut up!’ Brian said crossly. ‘Haven’t you done enough?’ He stared back at Dr Lucy. ‘But you
were
picking on her. You shouldn’t have done that either.’

‘Brian,’ Amber said to him, ‘I’m really sorry your leaving day got so messed up. But I’ll tell you something – as far as I can see, you’re totally ready to leave here. I think you’re more than capable of standing up to anything you come across on the outside.’

‘Thanks,’ Brian said, the tips of his ears going pink with pleasure.

Outside in the corridor, Amber stood for a moment, trying to catch her breath. Trying not to cry. Hearing Dr Raf call Dr Lucy by her first name had hurt like a knife twisting deep inside her. She was realizing, slowly, how much she had secretly been hoping that somehow she and Dr Raf would end up together, one day; she had been putting her life on hold, waiting for some sign that it might happen. Today, getting dressed, doing her makeup and hair, all she had been able to think about was that she would see him again, and that being in the same room with her, he would realize that he couldn’t live without her.

Well, he’s doing fine without me, she thought miserably. It didn’t take him any time at all to forget about me and move on. So that’s what I have to do too. Move on. But, oh God, it’s going to be so hard. I don’t know if I have the strength to do it without the pills . . .

‘Where is he? Down here?’

A tiny girl, skinny as a fourteen-year-old Eastern European pre-pubescent model, came barrelling down the corridor, passing Amber as if she didn’t exist. Amber blinked, convinced that they’d met before; and then she realized she’d made the classic mistake of recognizing a celebrity whose face was so familiar it convinced you that they were an acquaintance, rather than someone you’d seen on your TV so often you thought you knew them.

Jennifer Downs, Amber realized, remembering her from a TV series eight years ago, which had given the actress her big break.
Wow, she doesn’t look like she’s aged a day since then.
Amber smiled to herself bleakly; no one knew better than she how girls like Jennifer stayed looking so young.
She’ll be starving herself so she doesn’t grow any curves. Poor thing probably doesn’t get her periods, either.

Another woman came marching towards Amber, this one certainly not lacking in the curve department, a stunning Latina brunette in red, who gave Amber enough of a once-over in passing to leave Amber in no doubt as to which team the woman batted for.

OK, that’ll be Jennifer’s girlfriend, Amber thought, watching the red-clad hips swish sexily in Jennifer’s wake. I just hope Skye and Joe aren’t doing anything too compromising. That woman’ll tear both of them to pieces if she catches them at it.

She walked slowly back to the lobby, leaving all the drama at her back, and asked the receptionist to call her a taxi. Then she sat down in the furthest chair from the door, and stared through the glass walls at the frothy pale pink oleander bushes moving gently in the breeze.

I’m so tired, she thought dully. I need to get home and sleep for a week.

A few minutes later, the trio of Joe, Jennifer and Carmen came bustling back through the lobby, Carmen talking nineteen to the dozen, a stream of instructions and invective that had the receptionist agog with excitement. Joe threw a swift, pity-me glance at Amber as they swept past, the star presence of him and Jennifer so potent that it was as if they were surrounded by a golden cloud; the receptionist breathed a sigh of pure delight as they exited the building, propping her arms on the desk and staring after them.

‘They’re such a gorgeous couple!’ she breathed. ‘I can’t
wait
to see their new movie! The one with the dog! It looks awesome! And did you check out her top? Totally fabulous.’

The phone shrilled, and she picked it up. ‘Your cab’s waiting in the drive,’ she said to Amber.

‘Thanks,’ Amber said, picking up her bag, getting to her feet. She was out of the lobby, walking down the path, when she heard her name called.

‘Amber?’

She swung round, her heart pounding. Dr Raf was coming out of the building, walking swiftly towards her; when he saw her, he paused, taking in the sight of her. The sweet, spicy scent of oleander rose around them, heady and rich. Amber’s lips parted; her breath caught in her throat.

‘Amber,’ he repeated, as if simply for the pleasure of saying her name. ‘I wanted to . . .’ He was looking at her as if he wanted to eat her up, his eyes dark and sad. ‘You look wonderful,’ he said quietly. ‘How are you doing?’

Amber opened her mouth, about to say that she was doing fine, thanks; but she couldn’t lie to him.

‘Not so good,’ she said simply.

‘You’re not—’

‘No.’

She shook her head, never taking her eyes off his face. They were staring at each other so intently that the entire Cascabel complex could have exploded and they would barely have noticed.

‘I’m not back on the pills,’ she said. ‘And I’m not drinking either.’

‘Good. That’s excellent,’ he said in heartfelt tones. He lifted his hand as if to take hers, then let it fall back to his side.

‘I think about you all the time,’ she said softly.

He closed his eyes, his forehead creasing with strain. Amber longed to reach out and smooth out the lines, but it was as if there was a forcefield between them. If they touched, here in the Cascabel garden, neither of them could deal with the consequences.

‘I know,’ he whispered. ‘I think about you all the time too.’

‘Raf . . .’ Amber was so overwhelmed by her daring in using his first name that she felt dizzy with it. ‘You’re
engaged
to her.’

Dr Raf raised his hands to his hair and tangled his fingers into the dark curls.

‘It’s the right thing to do,’ he said hopelessly. ‘You were a
patient
of mine, Amber—’

A series of honks sounded from further down the path.

‘That’s my taxi,’ she said. ‘I should go.’

Please don’t let me, she prayed, turning away. Please grab my arm, beg me to stay, tell me that you were wrong just now when you said that marrying Dr Lucy was the right thing to do . . .

Every step she took, every time her heel came down on the slate paving stones, she was waiting to hear him call her name, run after her, saying that he had changed his mind. Even when the cab driver, catching sight of her, jumped out to hold the door open, smiling appreciatively, she was hoping that Dr Raf would come racing down the path, telling her not to go.

The driver shut the door behind her and got in. The cab was pulling away. And still nothing. She looked sideways, back at Cascabel, and saw that he was still standing there, on the path, where she had left him. Amber could see his white shirt and grey trousers through the palm trees, the thick oleander bushes, but she could barely make out his face.

That’s the last glimpse I’ll ever have of him, and I can’t even see his face
.

The cab had a soggy suspension from years of battling the freeway bumps and the Hollywood canyon roads; it bounced as if it were on springs. But Amber barely moved with it. She sat like a statue, every muscle frozen. Frightened to move, in case she broke into pieces.

‘So?’

Slava came running out as soon as she had buzzed open the gates to the courtyard, her face falling when she saw that it was a standard LA cab and not Joe’s Hummer bringing Amber home.

‘What happens?’ she demanded the moment Amber emerged. ‘Oh God . . .’ Slava clapped her hands to her cheeks. ‘Something is bad! I see your face! What happens to you?’

Amber knew her expression must be set in stone.

‘I can’t talk right now,
Matka
,’ she said quietly. ‘I need to lie down.’

‘Is it Joe Jeffreys?’ Slava scurried after her, wringing her hands now in panic. ‘There is a problem with Joe Jeffreys?’

Slava seemed incapable of calling Joe by anything but his full name.

‘He likes you!’ Slava wailed as she followed Amber into the house. ‘I can see this! What
happens
to change his mind? What, my God, what do you do
wrong
?’

Amber swung round, pulling herself up to look down at her mother with every inch of height that she had.

‘I didn’t do anything wrong,
Matka
!’ she said angrily. ‘How dare you?’

Slava’s eyes were squeezed tight with concern, her lips pursed.