BAD WICKED TWISTED: A Briarcrest Academy Box Set (36 page)

“Don’t,” I muttered in a thick voice, pushing the blade in a hair more.

Leo spoke, his voice seeped in sadness. “Nora, please. If you do this, you’ll never forgive yourself. Please, I’m begging you, let him go. Come here to me. Let me hold you, Buttercup.”

And I wanted to let Leo hold me, really I did, but I was scared, frightened of when Finn would come for me next. He wasn’t fixable. He would only come back again and again, and I’d never be free. I was tired of always looking behind me, remembering what he’d done to me. I was broken because of him. Because of Mother.

If I killed him, would the pain go away? Would I have peace inside myself? Maybe. I yearned for peace, to erase what happened to me.

I wondered if I gouged the knife in as far as it would go, would there be any happy stories for me,
ever
? Could I live with taking a life? My own brother’s? Yes. No. I couldn’t decide.

The eerie sound of police sirens reached my ears, and I heard the knife clatter to the concrete as I let it go, the sound echoing in the silence. I pushed Finn, and he grappled away from me, getting to his feet. He reached up and wiped his dripping neck, glaring at me.

“Stupid, bitch,” he muttered, his cold eyes leveled at me.

Leo kicked the knife into the bushes and grabbed my arm, practically dragging me away from Finn and out into the brighter street. “Stay here,” he ordered, leaving me. He turned back to face Finn who’d stood nearby, a dark grin on his face. He wasn’t done. He wasn’t leaving here without me.

I took his hand. “Leo, don’t you dare go over there.”

He shook me off, seeming to not hear. He rushed at Finn and they collided, his fists targeting Finn’s face and stomach with tremendous blows. He plummeted into him over and over, the sickening crunch of bone reaching my ears. Finn cursed and fought back, hitting Leo in the jaw, making his head snap back. Leo grunted and came right back and started in again, his fists bloody.

“Stop!” I called out, fearing for Leo, afraid he’d kill Finn. I couldn’t let him go to prison for what had happened to me. I ran back over to them. They’d fallen to the concrete, both of them rolling and trying to get on top of the other. Leo was huge and muscled and making vicious, solid hits, but Finn was wiry and quick, somehow managing to avoid being pinned down by Leo.

Finn caught a break and scrambled to his feet, laughing crazily. He ran over to the bushes and reached inside, searching for the knife. I screamed in denial and ran over to him, but Leo reached him first, jerking him back by his shirttail.

Finn got away by coming out of his shirt, the buttons flying as he pulled away from Leo. His swollen eyes rolled around wildly as the whine of the sirens got louder. He shot me a menacing look, and I stiffened, ready for his attack. But, he ran for his silver Porsche, which I now saw was parked a few spots over from mine. Leo yelled out for him and jumped to his feet, but it was too late. Finn squealed out onto the street, changing gears viciously as he drove away into the night.

Leo ran over to me. His hands pushed the hair out of my eyes, ghosting over the raw rope burn on my face. “Did he hurt you?” he asked in a breathless rush, his blue eyes glittering as they scoured my face and body.

I shook my head, not able to speak yet, still not believing what had happened.

“I got you now,” he said, pulling me close to him, his big body shuddering.

“You’re shivering,” I whispered out, my nose pressed against his chest.

“Forget about me. I just need to hold you. I thought I was going to lose you. I thought he’d . . .” He groaned out, sighing as he pressed his lips to mine gently. He pulled back and stared down at me, his eyes brimming with unspoken emotion. “Nora, there’s something I need to tell you. Something I should have said weeks ago—”

Drew’s Mazda pulled up to the shop, and Leo ripped his eyes from mine and stared at Drew, who got out of his car carrying blankets and pillows for our rooftop date. It felt like a lifetime ago when we’d made those plans.

A muscle ticked in Leo’s jaw as he ran his eyes over Drew, lingering on the bedding. His shoulders slumped, and he swiveled his head back to peer at me, a desolate expression in his eyes.

“Leo, tell me what you wanted to say,” I whispered.

A Dallas police car also skidded to a stop in front of the gym. I stood there, lifeless, while Leo shook his head and gently set me out of his arms. He walked across the street to meet the officers.

“Wait,” I said.

He didn’t turn around. Whatever he’d been about to say, he’d changed his mind.

THE POLICE SEARCHED for Finn that night. They told me I had to come downtown to fill out paperwork, but I refused. I needed time to decide if I was going to tell everything that had happened to me. The police in Houston were contacted, and they reported that Finn had lost the lease to his condo a few weeks earlier. He’d also been fired from the law firm where he worked. No one had seen or heard from him since he’d showed up at the shop. I assumed the police had contacted my parents. My dad had tried to call me a few times, but I wasn’t ready to talk yet.

I wasn’t ready to sleep at the shop, so I stayed with Aunt Portia at her apartment in Dallas even though it took me an hour to drive through rush hour to get to BA.

I continued with life. What else could I do?

Three days after Finn had shown up, a pale Aunt Portia greeted me as I walked in the shop after school.

“I need to talk to you,” she said to me, steering me past the late lunch customers and into the kitchen.

“Come here and sit,” she said, attempting a small smile, but it wasn’t her usual perky one. She sat down and I sat stiffly across from her. She took both my hands in hers, and it was then that I
knew
, oh yes, I truly knew something had happened. A cold sweat broke out over me, and my mouth dried.

“Your brother . . .,” she began, but stopped.

“Tell me.”

She sighed. “There’s no easy way to say this, but there was a pile-up on Interstate 10 near Houston. Your brother . . . Finn’s car . . . crashed into an eighteen wheeler. It caught fire…”

“He’s dead?”

She nodded and mumbled something about policemen and dental records and my parents, but it didn’t make sense. Her voice kept swelling and expanding, and I couldn’t understand anything she said. Needing to be grounded, I lay my head down on the cold table, letting the hard surface support me. I heard her saying my name over and over until, blessedly, I heard nothing at all.

IN THE DAYS that followed Finn’s death, I moved in a numb daze, and it reminded me of the sad girl I used to be. I had obligations, so I called my parents. Dad made plans to meet me for breakfast before the funeral. Mother refused to speak to me. I was good with that. I did happen to catch her
Good Morning, Dallas
show the next day. She appeared on camera in a soft-blue suit, teary eyed, yet as beautiful as ever as she announced the death of her son. That’s her, always milking it, looking for an angle to help her climb to the top of the network’s ladder.

Dad came to Aunt Portia’s before the funeral, and we went back to the kitchen to eat. We sat on the counter, eating hot cinnamon buns and drinking coffee, our legs dangling as we talked. When we were done, he surprised me by opening his briefcase and giving me the papers to sign that would put my prize money in my name.

“I’m proud of you for having the balls to leave,” he told me, his eyes watery. “I know there’s a rift between us, but I do love you.”

I studied his sad face. “Did you ever say anything to Mother about what I told you?”

He nodded. “She denies it all.”

“And you still believe me?”

He paled. “God, of course, Nora.”

I nodded. “Did you confront Finn?”

His lips tightened. “I told the motherfucker if he came near you again, I’d stab him myself.” He shrugged. “He’s dead now. We need to move on.”

I bit my lip, scared to hope. Maybe there was a chance for me and him after all.

HIS FUNERAL SHOCKED me, I guess because death always takes us by surprise, especially when it’s a young person. We think we’re invincible, but we’re not. One way or another, we’re all placed six feet under. It made me even more determined to live the rest of my life as a happy person.

Was I glad that Finn was gone? Yes. We’re taught that forgiveness is good for your soul, so some will say I’m going to hell for my unwillingness, but neither Finn nor Mother would ever get absolution from me.

I’m no Mother Teresa.

Drew, Sebastian, Mila, and Leo all came to the funeral, but Leo was the person I gazed at. As I drank him in, I thought about how easily life can be snuffed out, never to be lived again. I thought about how Leo had lost his parents in the blink of an eye. And it sounded so cliché, but life
is
precious, and we only get one shot at it. So when the minister started talking about living life to its fullest, I realized I hadn’t. I’d been living day to day, always stuck looking at the past, just trying to survive.

I didn’t want to coast by anymore.

I wanted some fucking happiness.

As I sat in that cathedral, it dawned on me, an extraordinary moment when I realized that being happy could be a
choice
, not some elusive state of euphoria that few ever achieve. I didn’t want to spend a lifetime waiting for happiness to find me. It was never going to come knocking on my door, inviting me to come out and play.

It was up to
me
to decide if I wanted to live a bleak existence, constantly thinking about what had happened to me, or I could make a conscious decision to be happy now, to be grateful for what I had. To live. To love.

I was responsible for my own happiness.

If there was something out there that made me happy, it was up to me to go get it.

I knew exactly what I wanted.