Bait and Switch (13 page)

"Proper management of one's external appearances," he day is over, I want nothing so much as to pour myself a beer and writes, "simply signals to one's superiors that one is prepared to shut down, alone in my room. How I earned the E for undertake other kinds of self-adaptation."
32 By dressing correctl
y, extrovert in my Myers-Briggs personality type is a mystery that right down to the accessories, you let it be known that you are only deepens.

willing to conform in other ways too—that you can follow orders, for example, and blend in with the prevailing "culture." But first I have to know what I am conforming to.

IMAGE MANAGEMENT TURNS out to be located in a loft in what Naturally, I have already read a couple of dress-for-success looks like a gentrified warehouse. I am greeted by Prescott, books and learned that the idea is to pass as a hereditary member suavely outfitted in suit and tie, and introduced to his of the upper-middle class. As the leading expert in the field, partner—a young Argentinian, as it emerges, who is dressed, John T. Molloy, puts it in his
New Women's Dress for Success,
more reassuringly, in nondescript urban casual. I barely get a

"The executive suite is an upper-socioeconomic business club, and chance to scan the loft space before being ushered into the in order to get in you must wear the club uniform."
33
He advises a windowless consultation room, but I note that it's done up in kind of preshopping ritual, in which you first scout out the boas and third-world crafts and practically screams
Pride!
I'm expensive shops for clues as to appropriate textures and shapes, hoping their image-managing sensibilities are as gay as their in-and only then repair to a more affordable setting for your actual terior decorating tastes—because gays have been practicing at purchases. I think I have the class thing pretty well in hand—

"passing" for decades, and that is pretty much my current as-muted colors, patternless fabrics, and natural fibers, for signment.

Robert Jackall's book impressed on me that corporate dress 32

serves a far more important function than mere body covering.

Jackall,
Moral Mazes,
p. 47.

33 JT. Molloy,
New Women's Dress for Success
(New York: Warner Books. 1996), p. 16.

example—but my observations come largely from the academic and lightweights.
35

publishing worlds, which permit a dangerously wide latitude for I know I have no problem in the area of "too sexy," "too personal expression in the form of flowing scarves, rumpled linen, busty," or distractingly beautiful, but it is clear that for any and dangly earrings.

woman, of any age or condition, being female is something to Then there is the vexing business of gender. All of the books compensate for.
36

warn that it's a lot trickier for a woman to pass than it is for a While Prescott fetches some coffee for us from the kitchen, I try man, in part because the female "uniform" is not yet as standardized to skim through the purple-covered notebook he handed me, as a man's, so it's easier for a woman to go wrong. But the problem titled "The Personal Image Enhancement Program for [and the seems to go deeper than that, to the very biological underpinnings last two words are handwritten] Barbara Alexander." I'm distracted of gender: the features that make a man sexually attractive—by the curious gizmo on the corner table separating our chairs, in handsomeness, tallness, a deep voice, et cetera—also work in his which four small burning candles share space with an actual favor at the office, while female sexual attractiveness can torpedo a running water fountain, but I force myself to read, finding on woman's career. Shoulder-length hair, an overly generous display of page 1: "What motivates you to image-manage!" Not a question legs, or a "too busty" chest
34
can all undermine a woman's but answered anyway, sort of:

credibility. Beauty itself is a handicap.

Your exposure in the marketplace, your dependency upon others to be successful and how often you come in contact with Very beautiful young women have difficulty being taken seriously, especially by men, most of whom refuse to even think of them as 35 Molloy, New Women's Dress for Success, p. 175.

36

experts or authority figures. In addition, beautiful women are In 1992, the
Washington Post
quoted Harvey Hornstein, a psychology professor at Columbia University who studies gender roles, as saying: "For women, it's a seen by both sexes as lacking in intelligence—or at least as Catch-22. If they dress in 'feminine' ways, men don't think they're suited for the job. If women don't play the stereotypical role, then men complain they're not

'feminine' enough." (Amanda Spake, "Dressing for Power,"
Washington Post,
January 5, 1992.)

34 Ibid., p. 43.

those dependencies, are three reasons why you should be motivated to I usually do, this wouldn't matter, but this shirt has to be tucked develop and maintain a professional presence.

in. And what about the shoes, which are drably flat, and the

"pearl" earrings, which I got at three for $10 at the Miami airport?

Fair enough, since I have entered a world where people seem When Prescott returns with the coffee, I lay out the situation.

to be judged not only by performance but by "image," and, the I have been "consulting" for several years now and need to notebook states ominously, "You need to understand that you reconfigure myself for the corporate world, but have only the are in total control of the images others form of you."

vaguest idea of how to proceed. Plus, I throw in, though I didn't Just as I would prepare for a visit to the dental hygienist plan to, I'm concerned that I make no visual impression at all. This with extra brushing and flossing, I have put unusual effort into impression—an impression of an impression, really—stems from a my appearance today: mascara as well as eyeliner, lipstick en-newspaper profile of me some years ago, in which I was described hanced with gloss, jacket and slacks, tailored pink shirt, and a as the kind of person whom no one would notice when she muted gray silk scarf. Only now, as I await Prescott's return—I enters a room. At the time that had seemed like good news; at can hear him taking a phone call in the other room—are the least I had figured out how to blend in. But now I need to leave multiple defects in my ensemble emerging. My pant socks, some sort of memory trace in thepeople I meet. Prescott nods which I had taken to be black in the gloom of the hotel room, approvingly and congratulates me for coming to him: "Some job are actually navy blue, although my jacket is black. My watch seekers neglect the visuals."

cost $19 fifteen years ago, and the band no longer matches the Furthermore, I confide, my exposure to corporate dress face. Then there is the problem of the slacks: everything else is comes mostly from New York and San Francisco, where a black-Ann Taylor, drastically reduced of course, but the slacks come based minimalism still prevails, whereas here in Atlanta, you see a from the sale rack at the Gap, and, as I see for the first time, the lot of bright red accented with gold. He confirms this, adding zipper does not go all the way up. If I were wearing a pullover, as that not only are there regional differences in corporate costuming, so are there differences from company to company.

Republican"; "romantic," who "love flowing material"; "dramatic,"

Some are extremely conservative; others he calls "corporate who "love to break rules" and are often "eccentric"; and "natural,"

creative." It is wise to know what the rules are before showing who are "outdoorsy, want to save owls and trees, love texture, and up for the interview, because you do, after all, want to look like don't wear a lot of patterns." I turn out to be a natural, which a "team player," right down to the team uniform. To find out seems to please Prescott, because "there's less to change."

what is expected, study any photographs of female executives Fashion-wise, I am a kind of tabula rasa.

you can find on the company web site or call and ask a The first problem is that I come across as "too authoritative"

receptionist to tell you what the power gals are wearing—unless, as a result of the combination of an "angular" body with a tailored of course, it occurs to me, the receptionist hates the power gals shirt and the straight lines of my jacket lapel. "You want to look and maliciously advises me to show up in harem pants and
approachable,
not authoritative, so people will feel comfortable bustier.

working with you," and this means curved lines, not straight ones.

Now we proceed to the material at hand, which is me. As in so Decoding this diagnosis, I see that I am not looking feminine many of my coaching experiences, we begin by categorizing me enough.
37
This is, to say the least, confusing. The dress-for-success as a "type," only here no test is involved, only a quick allover books all urge what I take to be a somewhat mannish survey by Prescott. I am "angular" in shape, he announces, appearance, achieved through pragmatic hairstyles and curve-and my face is shaped "like a diamond," which suggests to me a pointy head, but in fact refers to my cheekbones. They 37 Marcia Clark, the prosecutor in O. J. Simpson's murder trial, was given a similar are "wonderful"; I can keep them. My hair and even the $3

diagnosis. According to the
Chicago Tribune,
"After a focus group assembled by a jury consultant criticized her appearance and manner of presentation, Clark has changed earrings pass muster; they can stay too. As for my overall type, her highly successful style. She has changed her hairstyle, dress and personal manner, become softer, more feminine, warmer and more open—in short, less like there are four possibilities: "classic," which applies to people the aggressive trial lawyer she is and more like a stereotypical woman." (Cynthia Grant Bowman, "Fashion Weighs in on Simpson Case,"
Chicago Tribune,
October 30, who always wear skirts, "are not very flexible, and tend to be 1994.)

concealing suits. But if you go too far in the masculine direction, peacemaker, not an additional contender.

Prescott is saying, you somehow err again. What could be The recitation of flaws continues, almost faster than I can threatening about a tailored shirt? I recall, from my other life as write them down. There's the issue of suits: you cannot wear an amateur historian, that subordinated people often used slacks with nonmatching jackets. The top and bottom must imitation as a form of mockery; some nineteenth-century form a single unit, perhaps the better to resemble a military colonized Africans and enslaved black Caribbeans, for example, uniform. Charitably, he says nothing about the watch, just gently liked to strut around on festive occasions in the full regalia of suggests that I go for a larger watch face, preferably with a gold British officers. Maybe an overly masculine office outfit on a band.

woman sends the same kind of signal—as a sly mockery of the He moves along to color in general, where I receive a major blow: I male-dominated corporate hierarchy.

can never wear gray or black again, because they drain the color

"As for body language," Prescott continues, "the way from my face. This pretty much condemns me to nudity, since my you're holding your hands on your waist, you seem to be holding entire wardrobe is black and gray, and not because I'm striving something in."

for New York City–style coolness, circa 1995. The truth is I This is true. I release one hand and send it over to pick up spill on everything, so no peach or yellow item has ever survived the coffee cup. But the other one must remain at its post, cov-more than two or three wearings. Even my conservative silver ering the gap in my zipper.

brooch, a gift from my Norwegian publisher, is deemed "not

"There needs to be a necklace to pull it all together," he corporate" by Prescott. All this time I had thought I was a goes on.

perfectly presentable-looking middle-class professional, when in I protest that, with glasses, earrings, scarf, and brooch all fact I must come across as a misfit, a mess.

vying for attention in the head and chest region, a necklace If Prescott wasn't so perfect—so perfectly groomed, so perfectly could be overkill. But no, a necklace will apparently be a discreet—this might be unbearable. I have plenty of excuses to offer, but of course I do not inflict them on him. Mainly, as a of makeup in addition to the S250 for our session.

writer, I have no need to dress for work in anything other than gym After I am deftly—and rather well, I must say—made up with clothes, or no clothes at all for that matter, and when writers do try his own concoctions, he places a kind of bolero consisting of layers to "dress up," they are generally granted a lot of leeway. I of different color swatches around my neck, turning one over at a remember attending a banquet with the poet and short-story time, so that I appear to be dressed sequentially in brown, yellow, writer Grace Paley, who appeared in a loose pink floral dress.

green, red, orange, peach, et cetera. "See that," he says, turning to When I complimented her, she confessed it was a nightgown, a forbidden hue—"how it's making you pasty?" I agree that I which was obvious on closer inspection.

resemble a cave dweller or corpse. Then he shows me a "good"

Finished with the assessment, Prescott leads me off to a second color and insists that I acknowledge the rich, honey tones it small, windowless room, where we sit at a counter facing a mirror imparts to my face. I again agree, although as far as I can see, I to address the matter of cosmetics. He asks to see my current still look faintly tubercular.

collection, so I am forced to display the contents of my makeup kit, This should be the fun part—playing with paints and little as if this were an airline security check: two lipsticks, a tinted swatches of fabric—but I am suddenly gripped by queasiness. I moisturizer, pressed powder, blush, mascara, and eyeliner.

understand that to make myself into a "product" that I can

"Liquid
eyeliner?" Yes, incredibly enough. Most of this must be market, I must first become a commodity, a thing. I further un-tossed: The lipsticks contain hidden grays that are dragging me derstand that the queasiness may simply be a follow-up to the down; the blush is another carrier of lethal gray. The pressed Checkers' bacon double cheeseburger I had for lunch. But powder, I am mortified to report, presents a slightly ridged surface there is an unmistakable pallor shining through the profes-that he identifies as a bacterial colony fed by oils from my skin.