Balance Of The Worlds (5 page)

Her sister left. Nelciana wanted to stop the girl but knew it was more from fear than anything. She had lost Nelanora once; she didn’t want to face the loss of her again.

And that left her alone with Lothonos.

She turned to him, watching his dark eyes. Eyes their son had inherited. Would Dres grow to be as tall, as strong? Lothonos wasn’t the largest of the Gaian gods—there were two or three that had a few inches over him—and he wasn’t the heaviest. He was lean and muscled and strong enough to do what it was he had to do, but there were males out there that were bigger than he.

But her biggest problem with Lothonos was that he didn’t seem to
feel
anything. Ever.

In the thousands of years she had known him, he had shown emotion fewer than a dozen times.

And half of those had happened in his bed.

She hadn’t forgotten the night they’d created their children, and she never would. He had surprised her with his tenderness and his concern for her.

With the touches of his hands on her skin, with the way he had kissed her. Yes, he had made her first time enjoyable. And he had given her a family when she had been without one for so long.

But that didn’t mean he had the right to control what she did
now.
“Why are you here, Lotho?”

“Because I’m walking through the woods and there are two werewolf
girls
rushing madly through one of the most dangerous areas in Levia with my children in their arms. And the mother of those children is off in another world. I want an explanation.”

“I do not owe you anything. I made the decision I felt was best. You know we are at war, Lotho. You know that.”

“Yes. I know. I have been busy working on strategies with the Lupoiux god and every important damned demon in four different worlds. How does that justify you endangering the babes that way?”

“Because the Fates told me that the babes would be safest in
your
care while I do what I must do.” While she fought, died, led her people to the slaughter. How could she convey her fear to him? Why did she have the overwhelming desire to do just that?

“And just what is it that is so important to you now? That woman?”

“She is my sister. Cursed as a Laquazzeana thousands of years ago. She is just now returned to us. I needed to be here. The Fates decreed it.”

“Fuck the Fates. You endangered our children for a woman you have not seen in five thousand years? I do not understand.”

“I did not
endanger
them. I never would, Lotho. Do you think me such a bad mother, then?”

His eyes narrowed slightly. He had eyes so brown they looked black. Fathomless and all-knowing. He’d absorbed some of her mother’s peoples into his own lines millennia before she had ever traveled to his homeworld of Gaia. They had intermingled with whatever followers he had at the time. When she’d brought the surviving members of her Kind to Gaia, many of males had left her little band of followers to align more with the God of Logic. They had felt safer with the established Gaian Kind, and had left her and her followers to find their own way in Gaia.

And her Kind had. They had
survived.
And they had grown. Under
her
leadership. Didn’t he see that?

Lothonos’ people had formed with just enough of her mother’s gifts within them to tie Lothon Druids with Nellana Druids and Witches for eternity. And many of their peoples had intermarried through the years. She was as intimately aware of his people as she was her own, in many ways.

Lothon Druids prided themselves on their lack of emotion.

Her
people were the exact opposite. They used feelings to guide them through their lives. Why would she be any different?

“Of course I do not. Reports are that the babes are happy, healthy, and thriving. As I knew they would be.”

She knew what he hadn’t said.
When he’d selected her to breed his children.
And that was exactly what it was—he’d wanted his children to be the ones to balance the worlds after Kennera and Eiophon had conceived their own twins. And he’d chosen her because he knew she’d love having the babes.

And he’d been right. She’d wanted the children so very much. And she’d accepted his bargain because he’d promised her little involvement after the birth. And he’d kept his promise.

She’d give him that.

But now things would have to change.
He
would have to take a more active role with the children. “You have someone who reports on the children?”

“Of course I do. They are my children. My line. I want to know that they are well and having their needs met. I sensed the moment you sent them into those infernal woods. Sensed the moment you arrived here.”

“I don’t appreciate spies in my house, Lotho. If you have concerns about the children, you ask me. Or better yet, come visit with them. I will not stop you.”

“And get them attached to a father that is not able to be there with them always? We are at war. I am a god of logic and strategy, of
war.
How can I make time for babes?”

His confusion hurt her. Not for him, but for the babes who would one day have so many questions. “How can you not? As you said, they are your
line.”

“But it would only hurt them more, would it not? To have me around some of the time but not all? That is not clear, nor is it logical to a babe.”

“No, but if they loved you it wouldn’t matter.”

“But who is to say that they would love me?”

***

Was he serious? She studied him for a long moment. He was. “Dres and Nella will love you. You are their father.”

“But that doesn’t mean an emotional connection would be guaranteed. We are both aware of many stories in which children and fathers do not often agree. Why would our babes be any different?”

“Why would
Dres
and
Nella
be the same?” He never called them by name. He hadn’t even wanted a say in
naming
them, even though she had asked. She would never understand him.

He was the last god in any of the worlds she would want to father her children, but he was the first one who had ever offered. Which showed exactly how sad and pathetic she had been.

She did not regret the night they had shared, or the children they had created. They had been Fated to do exactly what they had.

The worlds needed Dres and Nella. And they needed her, to do exactly what it was she was supposed to. Her resolve returned.

“You still have yet to explain why you left the babes in another’s care.”

“I
left
our babes because the Fates made it clear I was supposed to come
here
.”

“And you listened? The Fates can only suggest, they cannot insist.”

“And fighting them leads to great heartache.”

The Fates were the only beings of whatever origin that spanned all eighteen of the worlds. Controlled the beings of all the worlds. They terrified her.

Yet there were so many of the Gaian gods and goddesses—and probably several of the surviving Evelanedean deities—who completely disregarded the Fates’ predictions.

She definitely didn’t understand
that.
Every time she had ignored the Fates, she had suffered greatly.

The Fates had told her millennia ago to avoid becoming betrothed to Jushua—that it would only lead to pain. How right they had been. He had been another she had grieved over his death.

Yet he had survived the Fires of the Three Hells when they had raged over her beloved Evalanedea. He’d been out there in another world, his mother by his side.

Her sister had been reborn over and over and over again. Until she arrived in this world to find a sword and set Jushua’s brother Estacles free.

And then there was Dekimos, yet another of Jushua’s brothers. And how many of the original Dardaptos children had somehow been reborn into these times? How many of her own siblings? She had Nelanora and Jordan. And she had young Cassandra, mate of the Laquazzeana Nalik, though they had never met.

Who had been Jushua’s older brother Kilan reborn.

There had to be a reason the souls lost so long ago were finding their ways back to this place.

“Go back home, Lotho. The children need one of their parents to care for them.”

“And naturally, that should be you.”

“Because I am female, and you are too busy making war?” She snorted at that. She was Evalanedean; such gender stupidity had never existed amongst her peoples. “Your age is showing. Might want to cover it up.”

The way he continuously covered up the strong body she knew he possessed. He wore Gaian jeans and what she thought was called a hoodie. It was dark, as were the jeans. He looked like a slightly taller than average human male in the prime of his life, didn’t he?

Why?

One thing about Lothon Druids they were an extremely secretive and deceptive bunch. Who often hid among the humans. Why would he be any different?

“Don’t be ridiculous. It has nothing to do with your gender. We had an agreement. In exchange for fathering your children, you agreed to care and protect them until adulthood.”

“That’s not how I remember it.” No, he’d offered in a way she hadn’t been able to refuse. “I have a destiny to fulfill here. I cannot walk away from it. Even for the children. It is because of the children. If I do not do this, their safety will be threatened. And there is nothing I will not do to protect them.”

“Nonsense. Nothing the Fates ever do is so binding.”

And that was where she definitely disagreed.

She was looking at him like he was a fool. Yet… “What destiny drives you thus?”

“I do not know.”

He did not hold the Fates above anything, yet many of
her
people did. Why? That was one trait that separated the Nellana from the Lothon. To
his
Kind, following the Fates seemed so illogical, many rarely did.

“Why do you follow the Fates so closely?”

“I was taught to.”

“By whom?” He knew of her family life before the tragedy that had driven her into his world five thousand years ago. She hadn’t been particularly close to her family. One reason she had become the patron of families once arriving in his home world.

“By experience.”

Was she exasperated with him? Why? “Tell me so that I may help you.”

“I cannot stay here in this room. There are those I must speak with and soon.” She looked around for a moment, confusion in her eyes. “I…hand me my clothes, Lotho.”

For the first time since he’d tracked her to this world, he took a look at her.
Fully
looked at her. She wore nothing but a thin white nightdress that hinted at the treasures beneath. It was so thin over her breasts he could see dark shadows where her nipples were. His mouth went instantly dry. Her dark hair was tangled down her back. Why? She looked like she’d just crawled out of some male’s bed. Had she looked like this the morning after he’d left her? “Were you resting?”

“I think I was. The shock of finding my sister hit me hard. I don’t remember changing into this gown. Phaenna and Aureliana maybe. Hand me my clothes.”

Lothonos didn’t want to. Her sleep clothes made her look so soft and feminine.

Sexy.

He hadn’t always thought so.

Lothonos had at first preferred her friend. Kennera had been so sweet and vulnerable, if young and impetuous, when she and Nelciana had arrived as refugees from their home. Nelciana had come across as tough and angry and protective, though she had been slightly shorter and curvier than Kennera.

He’d fallen hard for Kennera’s softness and hadn’t even considered the slightly older female.

Until it became clear to him that Kennera was meant for another. That had left only Nelciana for his purposes. His attraction for her had grown from that point.

He knew she thought he’d only wanted her as a second choice, and perhaps he had one hundred years ago. But that had changed. How that had changed…

And he had not forgotten what had been between them. He never would. But he put the
vestis
and
pardus
she was reaching for in her outstretched hands.

“Turn around.”

Indignation? When he had seen her unclothed before? “I have seen you naked before.”

“
Once
. And for a very specific purpose. That isn’t ever going to happen again.”

He wanted it to. Very much so. But he wisely didn’t mention that to her. “I am still waiting for the answers. What are you to do here?”

“I don’t
know
, Lotho. If I did…I’m not certain I would tell you.”