Ballers: His Game (Ballers Series Book 1) (8 page)

Chapter 8

“Can we go ask my Mommy now,” Ellie pulls away and beams up at me.

“Sure, let’s see if we can find her and your uncle,” I say and hold out my hand for hers.

I stand and scan the room for Ellerie. I lock eyes on Ellerie talking to the woman in the black off the shoulder dress again. Once again her back is turned to me. I have to see her face.

I start in their direction dragging Ellie along with me. I peek down and she is smiling up at me with hope in her eyes. She holds her tiny fingers up on her free hand and crosses them. I laugh and give her fingers I’m holding a gentle squeeze.

When Ellerie and the woman in black come into Brielle’s view she rips her hand from mine and shoots off toward them a few feet away. I feel the loss of her hand in my heart. After that everything else seems to happen in slow motion.

I watch as Brielle’s curls bounce on her head as she sprints forward. For the first time I notice her little feet in her sandals as they slap the ground pushing her forward.

“Mommy, Mommy,” she chimes aloud. And then the woman turns and sends my world spinning with her. Her face is glowing as she looks down at Brielle with a face splitting smile. Brielle’s arms shoot out and wrap around her legs as she collides with them.

In that moment, I feel my knees go weak. I reach out for the back of the chair nearest me to support my weight. I can’t believe it is
her
. I am staring at the one woman I thought I would never see again. That’s when everything starts to fall into place, slamming into me like a Mack truck.

I’m a father. I have a daughter, a beautiful little girl with my eyes, my dimples, and my chin. I have a daughter with
her
and I left. I left without a word, without a trace and I have a daughter. I never knew about her because I made the biggest mistake of my life.
Her,
she is the woman that stole my heart in one night looking more beautiful than I remember.

I suck in a sharp breath as I watch them. Brielle says something to her and her smile collapses. Her eyes draw up in the direction Brielle came from and her eyes lock with mine. She just stares for a moment then she blinks a few times and stumbles backward reaching out to grab Ellerie’s hand.

Ellerie’s face goes from concerned to confused, his head pops up to follow her gaze and his face turns to rage. Her hand shoots to his chest and she turns to say something to him as she shakes her head. And that’s when I snap out of it, I can’t wait any longer.

~B~

“Mommy, mommy,” I hear Brielle singing from behind me cutting Ellerie’s and my conversation short. I turn in time to lock eyes with my little girl. Her little legs carry her right to me as she barrels into my legs, wrapping her arms around them.

“Mommy, I ate the food. You would be so proud of me I ate it all. And I had ice cream and cake and it was so good. Uncle Eli’s new friend and my new best friend, Brad, said he’s a picky eater too, so he only gave me what was good to eat,” Brielle squeals so fast my head spins.

When her words sink in my smile crumbles and I look up in the direction Brielle just came from. There he is staring back at me holding on to the back of a chair like his life depends on it. It is like a punch through my heart.

It is him but it isn’t. He no longer looks like the rookie I met five years ago. The baby face is gone replaced by a square jaw and sharp features. His blonde hair is combed back neatly out of his face and tucked behind his ears brushing well past his shoulders, not like that first night when it was just long enough to cup each ear. It is now a full mass of waves reminding me of Brielle’s hair when I pull a comb through her curls. He definitely put on that Pro weight. He is filling out his tailored suit in a way that would make any woman take a second look, and a third.

His arms bulge against the suit’s jacket and his thighs stress his suit’s pants. The black suit and crisp white shirt complement his tanned skin. The blue tie is the perfect finish, making him look like a perfectly wrapped package.

I don’t have a thing for white men. I just have a thing for this white man. Five years and I cannot mistake the butterflies in my belly. There is no denying the fire I feel in my veins at the memory of his touch. I blink a few times and stumble back reaching for my brother’s hand and squeeze it hard.

“Oh my God,” I gasp, “oh my God, oh no, oh God no.”

“I’ll kill him,” Ellerie growls beside me as his body tenses.

I snap out of it and turn to push at my brother’s chest as he starts to launch himself toward Brad. I shake my head fiercely. This is not happening, it can’t be.

“Listen to me Ellerie, he doesn’t know, he didn’t know. He never knew. I never even told him my name. It was one night. I was stupid and drunk and Stacey had this idea to not tell him and his friend our names. I never tried to tell him.
Please
,” I whisper frantically trying to explain.

“You’re kidding me right, Tam,” Ellerie hisses. “You’ve known all this time who he was and where and you made us believe it was someone you didn’t know how to find or contact.”

“It’s complicated. I was embarrassed. I was scared,” I almost sob.

“Brad,” Brielle squeals behind me.

I whip around to see him now standing less than a foot away. He is looking down at Brielle as a myriad of emotions cross his face. His large hand moves shakily toward her face then drops back to his side. His hands clench then unclench.

His blue eyes mist over and then he squeezes them shut. He opens them and tries blinking a few times. The whole time Brielle stands staring up at him with a huge smile on her face.

His eyes slowly move up to meet mine and search my face. I watch his throat work as he swallows hard trying to find his words. One hand moves to run through his hair.

“I…is she…she’s,” he stammers out not able to complete a phrase. I nod and he gulps down a breath of air.

This time he reaches for my face and brushes my cheek. “Sweetheart, please tell me your name,” he rasps.

“Tamara, Tamara Hathaway,” I breathe.

His jaw works under his skin like he is trying my name out in his mouth. “Tamara,” he drawls. “Tamara, we need to talk.”

“I know,” I murmur.

“Mommy,” Brielle says looking at me with concern.

I reach for her, pulling her close, hugging her against me. Brad looks down at her and pain washes over his face. In that moment, I think that maybe I had made the wrong decision. Maybe he had a right to know about her.

“Bri, why don’t you go with Uncle Eli, baby,” I look down at her and say softly.

Brielle gasps and her face crumbles as her little bottom lip trembles. “Oh mommy, please don’t be mad at Brad. I’m so sorry Brad, sorry Uncle Eli, I forgot it was supposed to be our secret,” she sobs. She grabs Brad’s hand and looks up at me. “Mommy, I ate first. Brad gave me food first. Please don’t be mad at him. He’s my new friend. I don’t want him to get in trouble because I forgot.”

“Bri, it’s fine baby. He’s not in trouble for giving you the cake. Just go with Uncle Eli,” I soothe.

“But,” she sniffles and looks up at Brad.

He squeezes her little hand in his and kneels down to her eye level. He brushes away a tear that slips free. It looks like he wants to cry with her.

“Sugar, it’s okay. I need to talk to your mama. She’s an old friend of mine. When we’re done I’ll come find you and we can cause a little trouble with one of those go carts I saw them setting up,” Brad says gruffly.

“You promise, you’re not in trouble because of me, right,” she pleads.

“I promise,” he says and kisses her forehead.

“Okay,” she whispers and throws her arms around his neck. She pulls away reluctantly, eyeing me warily as she walks over to Ellerie and takes his hand.

Ellerie gives Brad a curt nod then squeezes my hand and gives me a tight smile. I know he is going to rip me a new one when he gets a chance. I watch them walk away, jumping when I feel a large hand settle on the small of my back.

“Can we take a walk somewhere private,” he says next to my ear, causing my whole body to tingle. I nod and turn to follow him.

We make our way out of the tent and into the stadium. Brad leads me into the dark team locker room and flips the switch for the lights. I take a few steps forward to put a little distance between us.

Turning around I blurt out, “Brad, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know what to do. I thought I would never see you again and I didn’t want to interrupt your life. You left, you didn’t leave a way to contact you, so I thought it was best not to bother you.”

He closes his eyes and I can see his body vibrating. He stands like that for what seems like forever, but it is only a few seconds. When he opens his eyes they are filled with tears and his lashes are moist with them.

“Tamara, I’m so sorry. I left because I thought you would think that night was a mistake. We both had so much to drink and you ….,” he drops his head in his hands. “I’ve thought about you every day for five years. I have this picture I took of you with my phone while you were sleeping…I. I came back…it was a few months later but I went back and you were gone. There was a man there with the realtor. I thought he looked something like you.”

“My dad, he took care of selling my place when I moved here,” I murmur.

He looks up at me and closes the distance between us cupping my face. “You’ve been here all this time, in Texas?” I nod and he shakes his head, closing his eyes. “I’m so sorry. She’s mine, Brielle? She’s really mine?” His voice holds so much awe.

“Yes,” I whisper.

He shocks me when his big arms wrap around me and he lifts me from my feet spinning me in the air. His face buries into the crook of my neck as he squeezes me tight. He murmurs my name over and over, his laugh vibrating through my body as he holds me tight.

I wrap my arms around his neck not knowing what else to do. I am still unsure where this is going. I don’t know if he will hate me for not telling him once the shock wears off. He still smells the same. I remember his cologne from crying over the pillow he slept on. It is like a blast from the past, citrusy and musky.

He slides me down his body and I feel the evidence of his arousal press into my stomach. I can see the heat in his eyes as he looks down at my lips. I step back quickly surprised by his reaction to being close to me.

He clears his throat and looks into my eyes. “I want to be a part of her life, to get to know her,” his brows draw together. “I missed four years. Please, I want to spend time with her.”

I nod. “Sure, that’s fine. I just want to take things slow though. She can be sensitive as you can see. I don’t know how she will take this. She is very smart, but this can be a little confusing.”

“Okay, I understand. You have done such a good job with her. I’ll do this your way, just tell me how,” his eyes pierce mine as he speaks with sincerity.

Chapter 9

The last two weeks have been physically and emotionally exhausting. Between going back to work, Bri going back to day care, and Brad integrating into our lives I am spent. There hasn’t been a day when Brad hasn’t been to my place.

Bri is beside herself with the idea that her new best friend comes to play with her every day. I didn’t think it was possible for Brad to be in my house more than Ellerie but he is. I have been cooking larger amounts of food, because those two eat like each one of them is an entire football team by themselves.

I laughed when Brad told me that he was now on an organic diet. I supported my brother when he was conditioning for the game so I have been eating organic for some years now. So Brad fits right in.

I can’t seem to keep him off my mind. When I’m trying not to think of him Brielle is bringing him up with, ‘oh Mommy Brad said this,’ or ‘oh Mommy Brad did that.’ Sometimes I want to scream Bri please give Mommy a break with Brad. But when I see her little face light up, and I know she has no idea that she is talking about her father, it crushes me and I let her talk all she wants.

It still doesn’t help me to focus on anything other than him. We had a business lunch last week to talk about me representing him, and I spent most the time squirming in my seat. He makes those tailored suits look like the most delicious candy wrappers ever.

Here I am at a kiddy party and I’m supposed to be taking pictures of my daughter, but my panties are soaked. I can’t stop thinking about Brad in my back yard in a pair of swim trunks. Bri begged him to come over to swim with her yesterday and he dropped everything to make her wish come true.

Oh, the man is sin on legs. His body is so ripped and huge. He was not that big or chiseled five years ago. Can feet be sexy? His are, I watched him padding around the pool wondering how that is possible. Then there is the hair. I would never have thought I would get used to it so long or like it, but it works on him. What doesn’t?

He didn’t have ink when I met him, but now he’s covered in it. Tattoos were never my thing, but Brad is a canvas worth staring at. He has this intricate one on his chest over his heart that I couldn’t make out without him catching me staring. The bicep of his right arm has a half sleeve with an amazing depiction of piano keys wrapping the arm under a time piece, and a hand holding an Ace, King, Queen, and Jack of hearts. On his back and across his shoulder blades he has an angel rising out of a football field.

Whoever does his work is incredible. It was so cute when Bri asked him who drew on him and why’d he let them. Neither my brother nor I have any tats that Brielle has seen. Brad laughed really hard and told her he was stupid enough to let a friend draw on him, but her skin is too pretty to ever think about letting someone draw on her.

“Mommy, look how high I can jump,” Brielle squeals drawing me back to the moment.

“Good job, baby,” I beam and shift on my heels.

Ugh, I have on mile high heels at a kiddy party. I have to do something to get Brad’s attention. He promised Brielle he would meet her here to meet her other friends. At first he told her he would swing by after and pick her up to hang out with her. When I told him other adults would be here including me he was all for it. That’s why I’ve been standing off to the side, further away from the other parents waiting for him.

The man has been driving me insane looking so good and forbidden. However, since I backed away from him in the locker room he hasn’t tried anything. He has asked if I am seeing anyone, using the excuse that he wanted to know if Brielle had any other father figures in her life other than Ellerie.

I was too chicken to ask him the same question. Instead I have started to stalk my baby daddy on the internet. I know… it’s sad. Supposedly, he recently broke up with some platinum blonde chick. She used to be a model or something. There haven’t been any new pictures of them. I wonder if that is because he moved here or did they really break up like the rumors say.

I do catch him looking when he thinks I don’t notice, so I’m hopeful. Then there is the way my body hums and the hairs on the back of my neck stand up whenever he is near me. Like when he is standing too close to look at something over my shoulder, helping me dry the dishes or standing next to me to tuck Bri in at night, which he has stuck around to do all week.

Last night I was tied up preparing for meetings on Monday and before I knew it I looked up and he had Bri fed, bathed and in her bed sound asleep. I was really grateful. The fact that he is so good with Bri is an extra turn on. He has adapted to calling her Ellie like Ellerie does. She loves it.

I’ll be the first to admit it’s not just his body I’m lusting after. I actually like Brad. He’s funny, gentle and actually pretty smart. I hate to say I’m so surprised he is so smart. I guess I have to stop judging books by manufactured opinions, because being white, country as hell and a jock does not add up to anything I had pictured in my mind.

It’s easy to see he is young sometimes, but he is eager to learn and so patient with Brielle and even me. He didn’t have to grow up as fast as I had to after having Brielle, but he is willing to now. So yeah, I have the hots for Brad for a number of reasons. In the last two weeks I have wondered what more with him would be like.

So because I am too much of a coward to tell the father of my child that I think he is sexy, and I am completely turned on by him, I have resorted to dressing up for a kiddy party. One our daughter invited him to. I sigh as I shift on my heels again.

I look like I painted on my black skinny jeans and my black t-shirt is snug across the breasts with a low V-neck. My four and a half inch grey suede heels have spikes on the heels. My shoes say anything but run around after children at a party.

I almost choked Brielle yesterday when she told Brad I went and got my hair done. She told him I never get my hair done unless I have an important event or her Auntie Alee is in town. She even went as far as telling him it wasn’t Auntie Alee’s time to visit.

Brad just gave me a smug smile and a wink. I didn’t want to read too much into that. I haven’t been with a man since I conceived my daughter. Well not really, so I don’t want to go miss reading his signals.

I do a little wiggle as my soaked panties start riding. This is so sad, but my vibrators are useless. They have never done it for me. I really think I am pathetic when the hairs on the back of my neck stand up and my body starts humming.

This is happening with fantasies of him now too?
No!

A heavy hand wraps around my hip and a hard chest leans against my back. I at least know I haven’t completely lost my mind, although my panties are officially no good to me anymore.

“Hey Darlin’,” his voice rumbles through me.

I look up at him and beam like a school girl. He drops a kiss to my forehead sending a shiver down my spine. I feel my skin flush and hope it isn’t bright enough to show through my coloring.

“Hey,” I breathe back.

“I got something special for my girls,” he murmurs against my temple.

His girls, okay when did that happen? This man will be the death of me if I let him. I am panting like a wanton woman after just a few simple words. I don’t even think I heard the words. It dawns on me that he is holding a gift bag up before my face.

“For me,” I exhale.

“Yeah, Tamara for you,” he chuckles. His eyes zone in on my lips, that I purposely painted with a natural color gloss that makes them look shiny, full and plump.

“Thank you,” I say coyly as I take the bag off his fingertips. I reach inside and pull out the golden box inside. I know what it is right away. I had told him about this place here that makes these posh cupcakes. I pop the top to the box and resting inside is my favorite, a yellow cake cupcake with buttercream frosting and gold covered chocolate shavings. “Brad, you didn’t have to do this. This was so out of your way.”

“Nothing is out of the way for my girls,” he says with a broad grin.

There it is again,
my girls
. I look down at his hand on my waist and he holds another smaller bag which I know will have a mini version of my cupcake for Brielle. She is going to be on cloud nine.

He looks good enough to eat himself. What the man does for a suit is nothing compared to what he is doing for this black t-shirt and blue jeans. I wasn’t expecting the tan construction boots, but that is Brad, never what I expect. I bite my bottom lip as my eyes rake over him. It is the first time I am seeing his heavy mass of hair tied back as well. Mmm, I might like him clean shaven, maybe.

“Brad,” I start to say when I hear Brielle’s cry crack through the room. I turn to find her and she is barreling in our direction. I kneel so she can run into my arms, but she buzzes around me and runs right into Brad’s arms.

He lifts her cradling her little head against his neck as her body shakes with her tears. Brad rubs her back to sooth her as he kisses the top of her head. He looks in physical pain to see her upset. I close the distance when the shock of her rejection wears off and place my hand on her back beneath Brad’s.

“Sugar, what’s the matter,” Brad coos. Brielle shakes her head and continues to sob. “Baby, come on now, what is it, you can tell me.”

She lifts her head and sniffles. “Thomas called me a ‘Bastward.’ He said that’s what I am because I don’t have a daddy. He said my mommy wasn’t pretty enough and my daddy didn’t love her or me enough to want us.”

To say I am livid would be an understatement. I am pissed. Thomas has such nerve. To think he can’t even say the damn word right. If he had Brielle sure would have pronounced it right. Brad’s face goes from concerned, to shocked, to absolute rage. In an instant I know what he is going to do and there is nothing I can do about it. I shove my hands in my hair trying to anchor myself for what is coming at me like a speeding bullet.

“Look at me, baby,” Brad’s voice rasps as he cups her little face and my eyes squeeze shut. “You are not a bastard. You have a daddy and he loves you and your mommy very, very much. Your mommy is beautiful and so are you, baby.”

“No I don’t have a daddy,” Bri cries.

“Yes, you do baby,” Brad chokes out.

No, no, no Brad. Don’t do this, not now.
I can’t believe this is happening. Somewhere in the back of my mind I am slowly processing he said he loved her and her mommy. I push that aside knowing he is just trying to console a three year old. I open my eyes and see the pain in his face. There is no way to stop him and I am not sure if he is going to fix this or make it worse. He sweeps at her tears and ducks his head to look her in the eyes.

“That’s not true. If I do where is he? Why isn’t he here like Thomas’s daddy,” Brielle sobs.

“It is true.” Brad presses his forehead to hers. “I’m right here, baby, I’m right here. I love you so much, Ellie. I promise you, baby, I love you. I didn’t know. I would have been here but I didn’t know. I’ll never leave you again.”

Brielle’s little mind is amazing. I knew it would take just a word and she would know. She gasps and her head snaps back like his words are a slap. I hold my breath not knowing what is coming. Her tiny hand goes to his face and cups his jaw.

“You’re my daddy,” she says in a little whisper.

“Yeah Ellie, I’m your daddy,” Brad chokes, swallowing pass a lump in his throat.

Brielle wraps her arms around his neck and squeezes so tight I don’t think he can breathe. He is crushing her little body to him rocking from side to side. They stay like that for I don’t know how long.

I want to break down and sob. This is my fault. I should have told him. I caused my baby so much pain and I didn’t even mean to. Brad looks up at me like he is reading my mind and reaches out to pull me into their hug.

“Let’s go home,” I say planting a kiss on Brielle’s head. “Brad, can you take Ellie to the car. I’ll take care of this.”

He presses his lips and glares at me as realization for why this started comes back. I sigh and put my hands on my hips. He starts to say something, but I cut him off.

“Please Bradley, just take her outside. I’ll handle it,” I plead.

He doesn’t look none too pleased, but he nods and bends to pick up the gift bag for Brielle, that he dropped when she charged into his arms. He looks at me long and hard like he is going to change his mind. Then backs away and turns to leave.

I turn and scan the room for Miranda. That Thomas is always up to something. I have no idea why any of the parents still bring their kids to his functions. I started to tell Brielle we weren’t coming to this one but she was so excited.

“Miranda, we need to talk,” I bite out when I storm over to Thomas’s mom.

“Hey Tam, what is it Sugar,” Miranda says with a smile until she looks up at my face.

“It’s Thomas, he just said some things to Bri that I don’t appreciate,” I say then tell her what Brielle told us.

Miranda turns beet red and her jaw flaps like a fish as she tries to find words. I drop my hip and put my fists on my waist. I raise my brow, waiting impatiently for her to get her crap together.

“Tam, I …” she stammers.

“What’s going on Miranda?” Perry, Miranda’s husband drawls.