Barbarian Alien (22 page)

In a network of overcrowded caves, I have somehow managed to piss off everyone enough that they’ve left me alone for the first time in a day and a half. A weird, miserable little half laugh bubbles from my throat, and it turns into tears soon enough. I sniff and wipe at my cheeks, hating that I’m crying.

I think I’d rather be out in the wild with Raahosh than in here, alone and missing him.

And it’s only been a day. How am I expected to just carry on as if my heart isn’t broken?

My cootie is silent. It agrees with me. This is no way to live.

I stab my needle into the fur again and sit in the humans’ cave by myself.

• • •

I end up sleeping in Kira’s bed again that night, except instead of Raahosh holding me close, it’s Kira wrapped in blankets on the other side of me. I end up weeping quietly for most of the night, miserable. How is Raahosh able to stand this? He’s out in the cold snow, alone. He can find a cave and take care of himself, but my mind is full of his lonely vigil up on the rise, staring down at the cave, hoping for a glimpse of me.

I sleep terrible that night despite all the comforts of the tribal caves. My mind is full of nightmares, and when I wake up, I’m queasy. I barely make it out of the bachelorette cave before I’m stumbling to the cave entrance, looking for somewhere to barf. There’s a bathroom system in the caves but the entrance is a lot closer. I make it out into the snow a few moments before I puke, and then retch miserably for a few minutes before sitting up and wiping my mouth.

Kira’s there a moment later and offers me something that looks like a foot long, pink eyelash. “Eat this.”

“What the fuck is it?” I clutch my aching stomach.

She points at the pink, wispy trees. “A leaf, I think. They make a tea out of it too, but Maylak says it’s good for the stomach when it’s upset.”

“How do you know?”

A wry smile curves her mouth. “Because I got it from Georgie? I’m surprised you didn’t meet her out here.”

“Ugh. Is it catching? I thought the cootie was supposed to take care of this shit.” I shove the flimsy leaf in my mouth and chew. It tastes bitter and unpleasant, but then again, so does all the stuff that just came flying up my throat.

“You have a case of the babies. I don’t think it’s catching.” Kira holds a waterskin out to me next and I rinse my mouth. “Unless you know something I don’t.”

I shake my head and spit the water out, then kick a bit of snow over my sick. “I thought it was too early for morning sickness.”

“Yeah, but we’re also human, and it’s hard to say how things are going to affect us cross-species, remember? We don’t even know when the babies will be due.”

I grimace and pick leaf out of my teeth. “Don’t remind me, okay?”

“If it makes you feel any better, Ariana and Marlene haven’t shown any symptoms of morning sickness.” She offers a hand to help me up.

“You know, actually that does not make me feel better. Not only did they get to sleep in the tubes but they get the easy pregnancies, too? I hate those bitches.” I let her help me to my feet and brush wet snow off of my leathers.

A horrified laugh escapes her. “Shhh, Liz.” She giggles then looks around to see if anyone heard us. “You’re terrible.”

“So I hear.” We head back toward the entrance of the cave and I’m surprised to see Aehako lurking nearby, his arms crossed. He walks away when he sees us come back in and I frown. “Man, that guy is everywhere lately.”

“Mmm.” Kira avoids making eye contact with me.

A suspicious thought crosses my mind and I look over at my companion. “Is he stalking you or is he following me?”

One corner of her mouth lifts up in a rueful expression. “Little from column A, little from column B?”

I give her another curious glance. “And you just happened to be at hand?”

Her cheeks pink and she looks away. A small sigh escapes her. “You know it doesn’t matter, right?”

“What do you mean?” She starts walking toward Georgie and Vektal’s cave and I follow her, because I want to hear more about this.

“I mean Maylak says there’s nothing wrong with our khuis. And all of the women eventually resonate.”

“So?”

“So…let’s say I fall for a guy and then I resonate for someone else?” The expression on her face is sad. “There’s no point in getting romantically involved with anyone if it’s not going to go anywhere or I have to discard them the moment my body decides otherwise.”

“Ah.” I guess it hasn’t occurred to Kira to fuck a guy for funsies. Maybe she’s not that kind of girl. Actually, looking back, she’s definitely not that kind of girl from what I can tell. Kira’s so serious. Maybe it’s a good thing Aehako’s flirting with her. He’s always smiling. She could use that in her life.

Someone deserves to be happy in this clusterfuck, at least.

Georgie meets us with a yawn and then sniffs her braid. “I smell. You guys wanna join me in the bath?”

I glance back at the bathing pool that’s in the center of the cavern. It’s a common gathering place for a lot of the people here, and for once, it’s empty. There is a pair of women scraping skins nearby and chatting but things are pretty quiet. A bath sounds nice.

Except for one thing. “I don’t have a swimsuit.”

Georgie gives me a wry look. “They have different standards of modesty here. No one cares if you’re naked.”

“Uh, I care.”

“Really? I heard you got frisky with Raahosh while Haeden and Aehako were a few feet away.”

“Well someone has a big mouth around here,” I tease her back. She’s not wrong, though. “Fine. Gimme some soap. I’ll go nakey-bathing with you.”

She grabs some soap-cakes and hands me one. It smells like berries and a memory shoots through me. Raahosh uses these same berries for his soaps. I clutch it tightly and wonder if he’s still lurking around this morning. I didn’t see him outside earlier.

Georgie and I strip down to our skin and get into the pool in the center of the cavern. In the water, I can smell sulfur and the water is warm like a bath. I moan with pleasure. It’s like having a hot tub in the middle of the house. Okay, maybe this cave isn’t so bad, then.

“Good stuff, huh?” Georgie says, dunking her head and then coming back up for air. She looks over at Kira, who sits on the lip of the pool, hikes up her leather skirt, and slides her legs in. “You should tell her to join us.”

“Yeah, Kira,” I say, lathering up my soap cake. “What’s up? You don’t want to get in?”

Her cheeks are hot. “I’m fine.” She swings her legs in the water but makes no move to dunk herself.

Georgie gives me a knowing look and lifts her chin, indicating something behind me. I look over and sure enough, there’s Aehako again, pretending to look busy off to the side. “That man needs a hobby,” I tell them.

“Vektal asked him to watch over you for a bit,” Georgie says in a whisper.

“I figured as much.” I soap my arms and then start on my torso. “So, should I give him a show?” I pretend to wash my breasts in an obscene fashion under the water.

“Stop it, Liz,” Kira says, but she’s blushing.

“You’re right. If I want his attention, I should wash your breasts,” I tease.

She huffs and jumps to her feet, then storms away. I watch her go and then look over to Aehako, who is also watching her.

“She’s a little sensitive,” Georgie says, moving to sit on one of the underwater ledges.

“Aren’t we all,” I comment, thinking of my own man. Georgie has Vektal’s ear. While part of me wants to hold her underwater until she gets him to cave, the other part of me knows that I’ll get further on the Return-Raahosh-To-The-Fold quest if she doesn’t hate my guts. I sit on another one of the ledges and set my soap on the lip of the bathing pool. “This sure is a weird cave.”

“Right?” Georgie says, agreeing. “I asked Vektal about it but he says his ancestors carved it. I kind of wonder if they had some equipment back on their ship that we don’t have now.” She shrugs. “At any rate, I’m grateful for it. Especially the bath.”

“A bath without the face eaters is nice,” I agree. That sets off another round of memories of Raahosh and our first makeout by the river. Dammit. I miss him so much. It’s like an ache in my chest that won’t go away. Blinking back tears, I notice the women scraping the skins nearby have their heads together and they’re talking and giggling while looking over at me.

“I thought you said they don’t care if we’re naked?” I ask Georgie.

“They don’t,” she says, and avoids meeting my gaze.

A curl of unease unfurls in my stomach. “What?”

She bites her lip. “Raahosh has been showing up every few hours with a kill.”

“A kill?” I repeat dumbly.

Georgie nods and wrings out her wet curls. “Kills to feed his mate. He says you like the quill-beasts best. He’s brought four so far over the last few hours, and they have to keep chasing him away.”

Warmth suffuses my body, more than even the hot-tub-like pool can give. He’s still trying to care for me. What a total sweetheart. Tears prick my eyes again. “I love him, Georgie.”

“I know, Liz. We just have to give things time.” She shrugs her shoulders helplessly. “Vektal can’t cave on this, not with so many other men eyeing the girls. He worries about them, too. Six girls haven’t resonated, and he is concerned that if he eases up on Raahosh, he’s going to put them in danger. Some of these men have never had a mate. They’re full of longing for a family. What’s to stop one of them from kidnapping a girl and holding her captive for months – or a few years – to try and force her to resonate for him?”

“Would that work?” I’m shocked.

She shrugs again. “How do we know it won’t? We’re all young and healthy so it stands to reason that if they haven’t resonated yet, they will soon enough.”

The situation’s a lot more complicated than I thought. I feel a little sorry for Vektal, who’s clearly trying to look at all angles of the situation…and then I get pissed that I’m feeling sorry for the guy that’s keeping me and my mate apart. “It’s different,” I point out to Georgie. “Raahosh was resonating to me when he stole me. It’s not the same.”

She gives a half nod. “Which I tried arguing to keep him here. Vektal’s super torn up, you know. Raahosh is one of his closest friends. Exiling him was so hard on Vektal. Even now he’s out there trying to talk to him, to make him understand.” She grimaces. “Your mate is…not that understanding.”

“All he sees is that you’re separating him from me.” Surely they can’t expect him to be happy about that.

Georgie nods. “It’s hard for me because I want to side with you…but Vektal’s my mate. I have to trust him to know how to run his tribe or else I’m sabotaging him, too.”

I sigh. “God, this is all so complicated.”

“I know. I’m trying to smooth things out where I can, you know.” Her hands make little circles in the water.

“Oh?” I don’t know that I like the sound of that.

Georgie hesitates, then blows out a long breath. “Don’t get mad, okay? Just know that I already defused the situation.”

I stare at her, my entire body tense. “Well, now you’d better fucking spill the beans or I really will get mad.”

She makes a pained little face and then wrings her curly hair again. “So…Vektal wants to get things settled and calmed as soon as possible so everyone can go back to their normal lives. And there’s a few males that are widowers with grown children–”

“No,” I growl immediately. I know where this is heading and absolutely fucking not. “No, no, and hell no!”

“He thought they would be willing to take on a mate and a child,” she says quickly. “But I told him humans don’t work like that and it would be really, really bad.”

“I can’t believe him,” I explode at her. “Are you fucking serious? Raahosh has been exiled a day and he’s trying to marry me off to someone else!”

Georgie waves a hand, trying to get me to lower my voice. “He’s not thinking like a man with a mate would,” she explains, “but as the chief of his people. I pointed out to him how he’d feel if the same thing happened to me and that shut things down fast.”

I wrap my arms around myself under the water and try to hold back my trembling. This is ridiculous.

I have to find a way to fix this, and soon.

• • •

The tribal caves are pure torture.

For one, I’m surrounded by happy couples, several of whom are newly mated and doting on each other. It’s hard to watch Vektal caress Georgie’s arm while she works on braiding a net. It’s hard to see Ariana all giggly over her mate. It’s even hard to see Maylak handing off her small child to her husband, because I’m struck with such envy.

Nights are even worse, of course. The caves are mostly quiet, but they’re not super large, so you can usually hear someone – or several someones – having sex. Occasionally one of the girls in the bachelorette cave will giggle when we hear Georgie’s voice rising in a soft cry that she’s not so good at muffling. Mostly it makes me jealous and sad, though. Some of the unattached girls sneak out of the bachelorette cave at night. I don’t blame them.

In fact, seeing them sneak around gives me ideas.

I wait until things are super quiet and it’s late at night. Then, I slide out of my own pallet of furs (since they’ve ‘thoughtfully’ given me a permanent one now) and tiptoe toward the main room of the cave.

And of course, that jerk Aehako is sleeping at the mouth of the bachelorette cave. He gives me a sleepy look and sits up as I try to tiptoe past. “Where are you going?”

“Pee break,” I tell him.

“There is a room for such things,” he comments, getting to his feet.

“Now where are you going?” I ask as I try to step past him.

“I am following you, of course.”

“Gah. Can you not?”

He sighs and looks around, then pulls me into the main cave. I follow him, curious, and we step into a quiet alcove. Then, he stoops down to whisper. “Are you trying to escape?”

“Escape implies I’m being held captive, doesn’t it?” I cross my arms over my chest. “You tell me. Am I trying to escape?”

“You’re very stubborn, aren’t you?” He crosses his arms over his chest in imitation of mine.

“Buddy, you have no idea.”