He lifted his head and his stomach clenched when he saw the guilt on her face.
“You go do what you have to do,” Jackie said quietly. “She’s safe.”
James froze, his breath leaving him in a rush. “Where is she?”
“She doesn’t want you to know. She thinks it’s better that way. Safer for you.”
He cursed softly. “She’s trying to protect
me
?”
Tears glistened in Jackie’s eyes, and she squeezed his hand. “She has to leave and she doesn’t know when she’ll be back, if ever. She said you would understand that sometimes it’s easier to just disappear than say goodbye.”
Bile rose up the back of his throat. Nothing could have cut him more deeply. His actions coming back to haunt him. Pressing his fist to his chest to stem the ache in his heart, he forced himself to be calm.
“He’s here, isn’t he? Her old boyfriend. Levi.”
Bottom lip quivering, she said, “To be honest, I don’t know. She wouldn’t tell me, for the same reason she won’t tell you. Maybe it is him. Or maybe it’s like you said and what happened at the club triggered some bad memory.” Her voice cracked and tears spilled down her cheeks. “Whatever the reason, she’s not sticking around. She’s done with Vancouver. With us. Unless…you want to go after her? You, of all people, would be able to track her down.”
Her words hit him like a punch in the gut and his throat tightened. He’d failed. In the end, he hadn’t been able to mend the rift between them. She still didn’t trust him. Leaving her two years ago had been the biggest mistake of his life.
Voice thick with regret, he shook his head. “I won’t go after her, Jackie. She doesn’t want me. She knew I would have protected her and she chose to run instead. And if I did something wrong, she didn’t trust me enough to tell me. If she needed my help, she didn’t feel she could ask.”
Jackie gave him a warm hug and a sad smile. “Well then, you might as well go finish your assignment, J. Take Rex down. I know in my heart he has something to do with this. She had no problems with anyone until the day he grabbed her in that club. Make him pay.”
He rose from the chair and threw Lana’s car keys on the table. “And then what?”
“Then I guess you’re back to where you started.”
“Is he gone?”
“Yeah, he’s gone.” Jackie leaned out the window and helped Lana off the fire escape. “It went even worse than I expected. In fact, I have to say that was the most gut-wrenching conversation I have ever had in my life, and I’ve had a few. To put it bluntly, he was sick with worry and beyond despair, and he walked outta here a desolate man.”
A dark tide of emotion swept through Lana, sending waves of nausea roiling through her stomach. The last thing she had wanted to do was hurt James.
“Are you still going to leave?” Jackie’s bottom lip quivered, and for the first time Lana realized she was hurting her friend too.
“Levi is here. I heard him when I was at the club. He was with Rex. At first I thought maybe I was imagining it, but then I saw his hand and he was wearing the club ring. He’ll be looking for me. I don’t have a choice.” She grabbed an empty shopping bag from a pile on the floor and headed into the kitchen.
“There has to be another way,” Jackie whined. “What will I do without you? Who’s going to be my wingman on surveillance missions? Who’s going to dance with me on the tables in the bars? Who’s going to feed me sympathy and Oreos when my relationships sour? Who’s going to stop me from manhandling Derek? Who’s going to look after me?”
Tears welled in Lana’s eyes and she wiped them away with her sleeve. “You don’t know what they did to the people who tried to help me. The guy who helped me escape had to leave the state, dye his hair and change his name. I’m not dragging anyone into this. Not you. Not James. You don’t need me. The past is so far behind you it’s ancient. You’ll be fine.” She opened a cupboard and peered inside. “Okay if I take some snacks for the road?”
“Take what you want. I’m going to pine to death anyway,” Jackie snapped, her eyes glistening with tears. “But have you thought about your clients…Angel?”
Lana gritted her teeth and tossed a few granola bars in the bag. Tempting as it was to ask for help or even take Jackie with her, she couldn’t take the risk. Levi was her problem alone. And the only way she knew how to deal with him was to run.
Her chest tightened at the thought of moving again. New city. New job. New friends. New life. She would be back to jumping at every shadow and peering into every corner. Trusting no one. She would spend her nights tossing and turning, terrified every creak meant Levi had found her. After coming so far, she was back to the beginning again.
“If you manage to pull the pictures off the lipstick camera, you can send them to Angel.” Her voice wavered. “But I think she and Rex are back together. You can tell my other clients I had an emergency and had to leave town. I already did briefing notes for you. Somehow I knew it would come to this.”
“He loves you.” Jackie’s voice broke. “Don’t do this to him. Don’t do this to yourself.”
He loves me.
Lana rolled the unfamiliar concept around her mind. No one loved her. Not since her mother died. Not her father. Not her brothers. Boyfriends had come and gone until Levi. But he had never loved her either. And neither had James. She had let herself forget how she felt the morning she woke up and found him gone.
“How can you leave without saying goodbye?” Jackie threw open another cupboard and absently tossed a few boxes of JELL-O powder and Hamburger Helper into Lana’s bag. “Why won’t you give him a chance to help?”
“Because he’ll go after Levi and get killed, and if he doesn’t die, they’ll go after him.” Lana closed her eyes and sighed. “The Wolverines aren’t ordinary bikers. They make Hades look like pussycats. Someone cuts them off on the road, they burn the guy’s car…with him in it. Someone steals something belonging to them, they cut off the guy’s hands and feet, and toss him in the lake. A biker from another gang tried to help me escape, and they shot up his house. He and his family only survived because he had a safe room and after that they had to leave the state. Every time I ran away, I was beaten and chained up as punishment. And Levi was worse than most of them.”
“Wait.” Jackie raced past Lana and plastered herself against the door. “You’re my best friend. I love you to bits. I’m there for you, no matter what. But I think you’re making a mistake. James is one of the toughest guys I know. He’s like a rock…ice. Probably how he got his road name. But if you leave, you’ll break him. And you’ll lose the best thing that ever happened to you.”
“How can I
not
leave him?” Lana’s voice cracked, broke. “I have to protect him. Not only that— his biggest fear is that he falls for someone and loses them. If I stay, his worst nightmare will come true. I can’t do that to him.”
Jackie sagged against the splintered wood. “It’s too late. You already did. He thinks he lost you because of what happened at the club. He thinks it’s his fault.”
Nausea roiled in Lana’s belly and the shopping bag fell from her hand, hitting the floor with a loud thunk. “Oh God. That wasn’t it at all.”
“Then tell him and at the very least say goodbye. Give him a choice, a chance. He’s got to go to Kirkland Island tonight with Rex and his inner circle on some kind of secret mission, but if you hurry you could probably catch him at the clubhouse before they leave.”
Lana sucked in a sharp breath and her blood turned cold. “James is going to Kirkland Island?”
Jackie shrugged. “He got called to help on some last-minute deal that he thought could close off his case. He was going to blow them off to look for you but I…I told him you were safe and he should go. He was so desolate. I was worried about him. He didn’t even crack a smile at the chance to shut Hades down for good.”
Lana’s hand flew to her mouth. “He can’t go, Jackie. It’s a trap. They’re going to kill him. They must have found out he’s a rat.”
“Oh God.” Jackie’s breath caught in her throat. “You should have told him.”
A sob escaped Lana’s lips. “I did.”
James parked his Rocker at the edge of the marsh and waited for Ryder to join him. Although the sun had set hours ago, Kirkland Island was abuzz with the croaking of tree frogs, the barking of sea lions and the odd squawking of the many birds that inhabited the tiny island between Richmond and Delta on the South Arm Marshes. They dismounted, clipped their helmets to their seats, and followed Rex, Punch and Dawg down a small dirt hill to the beach. Bones and Diesel silently fell in behind them, packs on their backs.
“I have a bad feeling about this,” Ryder said quietly.
James had had a bad feeling since he’d walked into the clubhouse. The feeling had become worse when Rex insisted they go to the storage locker where James said he’d hidden the weapons. And he’d had to fight the overpowering instinct to run when he opened the staged locker to reveal empty gun cabinets, broken locks and a fake letter from the DEU inviting Hades to the police station to retrieve their lost property. Best ruse he could come up with, given the time. Rex had said nothing and James still didn’t know if he’d bought the story or not.
Despite his misgivings, he had to stay with the group as they headed out to the island. Not only would his abrupt departure have aroused their suspicions, the DEU needed him here. After leaving Jackie’s apartment, assured of Lana’s safety, he’d made the call. His handler had promised the raid was finally going to happen. In a dual attack, one team would raid Hades and the second would raid the Kirkland drop site. He could only hope they got there before Rex shot him in the head.
Gravel crunched underfoot as they walked single file on the path through the marshy swamp. As he followed Ryder’s broad back, James wondered if his friend would try to defend him if Rex called him out as a rat. Even together, they wouldn’t have a chance against five armed men. He had given Ryder’s description to his handler, with instructions that he shouldn’t be arrested but, now, considering both risks, it might be better to get Ryder out of the way.
He waited until they were out of earshot of both groups and then clasped Ryder’s shoulder. “Maybe you should go back and keep watch.”
“Fuck that.”
“Seriously. You should go watch the bikes. Keep an eye out for the police. We don’t all need to be on the beach.”
Ryder rolled his eyes. “Seriously. Fuck that.”
They reached the sand and picked their way through stones and washed-up logs, giant pieces of sea kelp and the remnants of picnic lunches. The air was cool and crisp and thick with the scent of brine. James reached behind himself and checked for his weapon. Ryder did the same.
Rex stopped near an outcropping. Together with Punch and Dawg he turned to face James and Ryder. James glanced quickly over his shoulder, taking note of where Bones and Diesel were positioned. He would have cover if he could make it back to the thicket of trees they’d passed on their way down. But he would have to be fast.
For the longest time nobody moved. Blood pumping hot and fast, James’s every muscle tensed for flight. He licked his lips and imagined he tasted Lana, sweet and sensual. He pictured her laughing, her green eyes dancing and her hair a wild tumble around her face. He felt her soft curves beneath his palms, heard her moans of pleasure in his ears, breathed in her scent of wild flowers.
His heart squeezed and ached. What the hell had he been thinking when he told Jackie he wouldn’t go after her? If he made it off this beach alive, he would find her, and when he did, he would never let her go.
Rex’s gaze stayed on him. James caught the glitter of anticipation in the black depths of his eyes, and something else. Something deadly. He took a deep breath and reached for his weapon.
The thudding of helicopter blades cut through the stillness.
“Here they are.” Rex broke their connection and looked up into the sky. “Bones. Diesel. Get the money ready. They’ll drop a bag and half the load. Empty it out. Put in half the cash. They’ll send down the rest of the kilos and we’ll send up the rest of the money.”
James staggered backward as his breath whooshed from his lungs. Maybe it wasn’t a hit after all.
At a shout from Rex, he joined the others to help with the switch. Suddenly an air siren wailed and the roar of a motor cut through the sound of the helicopter’s blades.
Anticipation ratcheted through him. This was it. The beginning of the end.
“Fuck. Coast Guard. Pack it up,” Rex yelled.
Coast Guard?
James turned to the water and startled at the glare of headlights as a boat raced toward them. Who the hell had called the Coast Guard? Where was the DEU?
Bones and Diesel grabbed the packs, and they raced up the beach as the helicopter disappeared into the night.
James took a last glance over his shoulder as they dove into the bushes. He caught the sweep of the Coast Guard’s searchlight and the blare of a siren. What the hell was going on? Why would they send the Coast Guard, knowing the bikers would easily be able to flee by land?
Something didn’t add up.
Again.
Chapter Nineteen
“Ice. You got a call.”
Ryder held out his phone and James frowned. Who the hell would be calling him at Hades’s clubhouse on Ryder’s phone? Not for the first time that evening did he curse himself for breaking his cell. He couldn’t call the DEU to find out why the raid hadn’t happened, and he couldn’t meet his handler because Rex had instituted a lockdown until he figured out who had ratted them out to the Coast Guard.