Barely Yours (19 page)

“Will?” I urge. “What’s the matter?”

He climbs back over me, his face now framed in an apologetic smile as he explains, “I don’t think I brought any protection.”

“It’s okay,” I answer back immediately. “Don’t worry. I said I was going to go on birth control remember?”

“Oh, yes,” he replies, face breaking into a huge relieved smile, and just like that we’re kissing again, and a moment later, I feel him push inside me, slowly and sensually, as I rake my fingernails across his back and wrap my legs around him again, moaning and sighing in his ear as he bucks his hips, plundering me, each thrust sending me closer and closer to the edge.

“Come for me, Will,” I moan, wanting to feel him explode inside me, wanting so badly to be filled with him like that. “
Please
. Come for me.”

And with that, he picks up pace, taking me hard and fast, his cock plunging so deep inside me, driving into me, each movement causing me to moan and whimper. Then, I feel him stiffen, all the muscles in his body tensing and rippling, and with a short cry he finally lets go, his cock swelling and pulsing, buried deep inside me as he floods me with his warmth, just the way I’ve been craving. It pushes me over the edge too and I draw him even tighter to him, clinging on tightly as I too start to come, so fucking hard that it takes me by surprise, like every nerve in my body is flashing with white hot electric pleasure, almost more than I can take.

And in that moment, I forget everything – all my worries, all my troubles. In that moment, it’s just me and Will, lost together in the moment; lost together in desire.

One Month Later ...

When they say a woman just knows, they’re right. I just
knew
. It felt like, from that moment on, something changed inside me. Something was happening. For the last few weeks, I’d tried to push it to the back of my mind, but it was becoming impossible to ignore, always rising back to the surface again.

And then, finally, the first sign. Waiting for something that never happened. That wasn’t going to happen. One day, two days, three days, then a week. And finally today, the waiting just got too much and I had to know.

Which is how I find myself sitting alone on my bed in disbelief, staring at physical proof of what I knew was happening all along.

One small white piece of plastic. Two tell tale blue lines, that have just changed my life forever.

It’s official. I can’t ignore it any longer. I’m pregnant.

Oh my god. What am I going to do?

I mean, for a start I can’t tell Will. I just
can’t
. He’s going to be so mad. I know that he doesn’t want any more children. I know that he wanted me
because
I wasn’t one of those gold-digging women who just wanted to get pregnant with his baby and live off his money their whole lives. He’s already said as much. He’s going to fucking hate me.

And anyway, I said I was going on birth control. It wasn’t a lie, not exactly. We
had
talked about it. And I did go to the doctor and I did get the little pills. They were right there in my bag. I just hadn’t started taking them yet. I can’t believe I was so stupid. But in that moment, I just wanted it so much. I didn’t care. The words just spilled out of my mouth. I was drunk and I wanted him and it felt so right.

And although I’ve spent the last month trying to tell myself that it was once, one time, that nobody ever gets pregnant after just one time, the feeling I had deep down told me something different.

I look up at the clock.

Jesus, he’ll be home any minute. I can’t face him, I just
cant
.

I need to get out of here.

So I hurriedly pack my things, dragging the suitcase out from under the bed and throwing in whatever I can fit. Everything else, I’ll have to leave behind. All of the gifts he’s bought me, the books and mementos of our time together, even that beautiful Dior dress. I can’t take it. It will just hurt too much.

I look up again at the clock.

I have to go,
right now
. Will will be home in fifteen minutes and he can’t find me here.

Oh Tabby
, I think. If only I could give her a hug. Let her know that I love her and I’m sorry, sorry for everything. But she’s out on a play date, and she won’t be back for another hour. So I hurriedly grab a pen and paper and scribble a note.

I had to go. I can’t come back. I’m sorry. Please tell Tabby I love her, and it’s not her fault.  xxx

I read it over, and the overwhelming sadness that’s been threatening to consume me suddenly bursts through its barrier. And so, in floods of tears, I grab my suitcase and run.

I run down the three flights of stairs, into the hallway, and out of the front door, down the steps and into the street.

I hail the first black cab that comes along.

“Airport, please,” I say.

I simply don’t understand it. I’ve read her note, a thousand times over. Why did she have to go? Why can’t she come back? But most importantly, where the hell has she gone?

I can’t stand the idea of her out in the world alone and so obviously in pain.

I’ve sent text message after text message. So many emails. And I’ve called her mobile hundreds of times. But it’s always switched off. I don’t know how else to contact her.

Her room seems empty, empty without her. She must have left in a rush, taken only what she could carry.

I look up at the world map on the wall, complete with pins marking the places she’s been and the places she hopes to go one day.

I walk towards it, gazing at it, realizing she could literally be anywhere.

Why did you leave so suddenly, Chrissie?

And where in the world are you?

Chrissie and Will’s story continues in Book Two:
Nearly Yours –
out soon!

To make sure you’re the first to know when it’s published, simply sign up for my mailing list today at: 
www.tinyletter.com/charlotteeve

Dear Reader,

Thank you
so much
for reading my latest novel. I do hope you enjoyed it and I’d love to hear your thoughts, especially if you were kind enough to take the time out to write a quick review on Amazon or Goodreads. Not only would mean so much to me, but those things really do make all the difference for an indie author like myself!

And don’t worry – I won’t keep you hanging on for long. Book Two –
Nearly Yours
– will be out very, very soon!

Thank you so much for all your support,

Charlotte

xx

Finally, I would like to say thank you to my lovely team of beta readers and Facebook champions for providing such wonderful feedback and support for this novel. I couldn’t have done it without you! So a HUGE thank you to: Ann Meemken, Dawn Vickers, Victoria Carter, Vanessa Booke, Missey, Sloan and Sue Sachse. Thank you all so much! xxx

ALSO BY CHARLOTTE EVE

DANCE WITH THE BILLIONAIRE

I didn’t want a man in my life. I thought love was for losers, and all I needed to be happy were my friends and my dancing. But then, one Friday night, a gorgeous arrogant playboy called Dylan Campbell came crashing into my life and changed everything. 
That night, I hated him. I thought he was a spoiled, entitled asshole. And he 
was
 – at least at first. But he turned out to be so much more than that, too. Because Dylan taught me who I really was – awakening dark desires inside me that I didn’t even know existed. 
He taught me about love and life, and maybe I taught him a few things, too. And now everything has changed. Because now he owns me completely ... 
From the author of the Taming Blake trilogy comes this brand new novel about an aspiring dancer and the playboy billionaire who captures her heart. Due to a number of SMOKING HOT scenes of an adult nature, this novel is only suitable for those aged eighteen and older ...

Dance with the Billionaire
 
and its the sequel, 
 
Let’s Dance Again
, are both out now!

 Keep on reading for the first chapter of Dance with the Billionaire ...

“I’ll give you a thousand dollars for your panties.”

Wait ...
 
what?

Tell me he didn’t just say that?

I nervously scan the bar, crowded as usual on a Friday night. It’s not often that someone manages to catch
 
me
 
off guard, but right now this tray of drinks is gonna fall from my hand and come crashing to the floor around my feet if I don’t keep my shit together.

I take a deep breath, steady myself on my heels, smile sweetly, then say, “I’m sorry sir, I didn’t quite catch that.”

Pretend like it never happened. There’s no way he’ll say it again.

But he looks up at me so confidently from his seat in the booth, his dark eyes glinting, a smile playing on his full lips, his thick black hair so glossy and shining in the dim light of the bar. And then he
 
does
 
say it again, even slower this time, never breaking eye contact, so fucking calm and confident:

“I’ll give you a
 
thousand dollars
 
for your
 
panties
.”

He’s not even alone. There are three other guys in the booth with him, all dressed just as expensively in their slick tailored suits. At first I think that he must be saying it for their amusement – making me the pawn in some sick little game of his own creation, just to get a cheap laugh. But I quickly realize that the other guys are busy laughing and joking amongst themselves, not even paying attention to what he’s saying.

What the fuck?

I mean, I’ve had enough sleazeballs come onto me in this place, but this is something else. Usually, they just grab my ass, ask me what I’m doing later, that kind of thing. They all act as if, just because I’m serving them drinks, that I’m their property. But nobody has actually offered to
 
buy me
 
before.

And the weird thing is, just for a second, a part of me even considers it. I imagine myself stepping out of my panties and dropping them on the table, calling his bluff. I’m wearing plain black briefs that probably cost about $5 max.

That’s a $995 profit
.

But then of course, I push the thought from my head. Because while I might be broke, I’m definitely not
 
that
 
broke. 

And the way he’s looking at me, the way he’s pinning me with his eyes, the smile growing wider as he waits for my reply, it becomes totally clear to me that this entitled rich-kid asshole has never heard the word ‘no’ in his entire life.

He’s rich, he’s handsome, and he gets whatever he wants. But he’s about to learn that that
 
doesn’t
 
extend to me.

“I’m afraid,” I say, my voice threatening to tremble at any moment and give away my nerves, “that I’m not that kind of girl, and this isn’t that kind of bar. But if you like, I could recommend you a pretty good strip club a few blocks from here?”

He shakes his head, all the while keeping me locked with those fiercely dark eyes.

“Tell me the truth,” he says, the deep growl of his voice cutting clear as a bell through the music and chattering crowds of the bar. And suddenly, it’s as if we’re the only two people in here. “They’re getting wet, aren’t they?”

Fuck you, asshole
, I think, feeling my heart beginning to pound and the anger boiling up inside me at the thought that this guy has gone through his whole life so spoiled, so full of himself.

“Well gentlemen, if that will be all,” I say in my most professional tone, setting down their whiskey cocktails and turning to leave.

But as I turn, I feel the warmth of his fingers against the bare skin of my arm, as he holds me in place and turns me back to face him.

“If you ever change your mind,” he says, taking a business card from the breast pocket of his crisp white shirt and pressing it into my hand.

I quickly glance down at it:

Dylan Campbell

Campbell Finance

I yank myself free from his grip, then strut towards the safety of the bar, my heart hammering, wishing I could have thrown his fucking drink in his face – that spoiled prick.

Even as I walk, I can feel his eyes on my ass, and I can sense that he’s still
owning
 
me somehow with his eyes. It makes me so goddamn furious, I stop in my tracks, turn back, lock eyes with him once again and then, so that
everyone
 
can see, I let his business card slip from my fingers and flutter straight to the floor.

What kind of guy actually asks a girl if he can buy her panties,
 
I think, my whole body still trembling in anger and frustration.
 
And then has the nerve to ask her if they’re getting wet.

But the thing that makes me angriest of all?

He was right.

They
 
are
 
wet. 

§

“Now tell it to me straight, okay?” I say.

“Oh, I ain’t gonna lie, girl,” Natalia replies with a grin. “If you suck, imma be the first to let you know about it.”

Ouch. I know she means it. If you ever needed a friend to wake you up with the cold hard truth, then Nat’s the one. I’ve asked her to meet me here at The Rhythm Project, the community space where we first met. We got talking in the hip hop dance class. You see, Nat spends practically every spare hour she isn’t working hanging out here, even helping out with the little kids sometimes.

It’s a cool space, but it definitely needs some TLC. There’s a steel bucket in one corner of the main studio catching raindrops from the leak that’s been here the last few months, and the long mirror that runs the length of the back wall got smashed by some kids who broke in one night, and they’ve
 
still
 
not quite saved up the spare cash to fix it yet.

“Okay then. The truth,” I say.

“Come on,” Nat says, putting her hands impatiently on her hips. “Stop stalling and show me!”

I take a final deep breath, then nod for her to start the CD playing in the boom box. There’s a half-second of silence before the crash of the drums and the rumble of the bass explodes from the speakers. As the music fills the studio I begin to dance, feeling the rhythm pulse through my body like pure energy itself.

I’ve always lived for this moment.

Because when I’m dancing, it’s the only time I feel free; the only time I feel truly alive
.

I’ve put everything I’ve got into this dance and I hope it shows – after all, this is the only chance I’ve got of getting into the Eldridge School of Dance, the whole reason I came to New York in the first place. I don’t want to be serving sleazy assholes like that guy last night for the rest of my life.

Concentrate, Julia. What the hell are you thinking about him for?

Because even as I’m dancing, for some reason his jet-black eyes appear in my head for a second, almost causing me to stumble.
 
Almost
. But I’ve practiced this routine too hard to let anybody put me off.

I’ve got a dream. I want to be onstage. I want to travel the world. I want to dance ...

As I land my final spin, I shoot a glance at Nat, but her face is giving nothing away. She’s standing there, arms crossed, leaning back on one foot, her eyebrows furrowed in concentration. Her silver disco pants show off her muscular thighs, and on her top half, she’s wearing a tiny gold tank top. On any one else, this look would be too much, but on Nat, it just
 
works
. 

“Well?” I ask, once I’ve got my breath back.

“You’re good,” she says, “you know that.”

Even though her words are positive, I feel my heart sink a little. Because I know there’s something else coming.

“But?” I ask, dreading the answer, whatever it is. After all, it’s too late to change my routine now
.
 
My audition is first thing tomorrow morning.

“It’s just that it’s ... missing something,” Nat says, taking a pause as she tries to put her feelings into words. “It’s just missing some ... sex appeal. Yeah, that’s it! You know? Like when you’re fucking some hot guy and you really put your hips into it and ...”

Hands on hips, she starts grinding her body, thrusting her hips and arching her back, to show me
 
exactly
 
what she means.

“It’s dancing, Nat! Not fucking!” I laugh.

“Dancing
 
is
 
fucking, Jules,” she laughs back. “That’s what you’ve gotta do! You’ve got to fuck
 
them at the audition, tomorrow. When they’re all sitting there, judging you with their paper and their pencils? You’ve gotta
 
fuck them
, baby!”

And I laugh, while Nat seduces an imaginary audition panel. But behind my laughter, I feel awkward. Because I don’t
 
really
 
know what she’s talking about. I
 
don’t
 
know what it’s like when you’re fucking some hot guy.

And though Nat’s my best friend, even she doesn’t know that I’m still a virgin.

Nobody does.

§

I kick off my Adidas sneakers and drop my sports bag by the door, then walk through my tiny, run-down apartment towards the bathroom. At times like these, I wish I had a bath. I’d love nothing more right now than to soak in the tub for an hour or two, to rest up my aching body, and then get a nice early night before my audition tomorrow. But the best I’ll get from this place is a shower. And if I’m lucky, the water will be hot.

I sigh. I just can’t get tomorrow’s audition out of my head.

I
 
need
 
this.

I’m twenty-one, which I know is still young ... But in the dance world, by now I should really be finishing up school, not
 
auditioning
 
for it. You see dance school is expensive, and money wasn’t something my family ever really had. I’ve always been told I had talent, but unless you get a lucky break, or your family’s got money, talent’s only gonna get you so far. That’s why tomorrow morning’s so important. I didn’t even know there was such a thing as a ‘scholarship’ to a school like Eldridge until a few months ago, when Nat first told me about it. And since she did, I’ve been unable to think about anything else.

As I’m getting undressed, I hear her words echoing in my head again:
You’ve got to fuck them in the audition tomorrow ...

I watch myself in the floor length mirror as I peel off my clothes. I grab an elastic and pull my shoulder-length hair up into a bun. My hair’s kind of unruly – wavy brown with honey blonde highlights, and bangs. It’s really difficult to control, so I hope it will look good at the audition tomorrow.

Next I pull off my grey, off-the-shoulder sweater and white vest, uncovering my slender body beneath. Shooting another glance at myself in the mirror, I wish I had the time to work more on my tan, but between dancing and my job at the bar, I just never have the time. I pull off the rest of my clothes, then turn on the shower and climb into the tiny cubicle, sliding the door closed and relaxing a little as I feel the warm water begin to glide over my body.

It’s not like I’m a total prude. I’ve done stuff with guys. Almost everything, in fact. I’ve just not gone all the way.

As I begin to soap my body, my mind returns to him.
 
Dylan Campbell, Campbell Finance.
 
I mean, what kind of creep actually says something like that? But even as I’m shaking my head in disgust, another little part of me can’t seem to stop thinking about him. The problem is, he was fucking
gorgeous
. Those eyes. That smile. The fullness of his lips. The sheer blackness of his hair. Hundreds of guys come through the bar every night, but a guy that good looking is
 
rare
.

Before I know it, my hand has slipped between my legs, my fingertips grazing against my clit, feeling the almost painful ache inside me; an itch I just need to scratch.

I gasp as I begin to toy with my pussy, my other hand cupping my left breast, my eyes closing, my head filling with images of
 
him
 
– of
 
Dylan Campbell
 
– again, his eyes locking onto mine, his mouth curling in a smile, as my fingers move faster and faster between my legs, my ass pressing back against the cold wet tiles of the shower stall as I come, hard and fast.

But as soon as it’s over, I crash back to reality, and all I can feel is anger. Anger and disgust at how a creep like
 
Dylan Campbell
 
has somehow found his way inside my head.