Barely Yours (8 page)

The house is quiet. It seems so empty, and I realise just how quickly I’ve got used to her presence. Even the knowledge that she’s up there in the attic is a comfort to me somehow. But tonight, the house is silent.

I’m sitting in the library, trying to concentrate on my book, but my mind won’t focus on the page in front of me. It’s times like these when I wish I could have a stiff drink; a nice Scottish single malt whiskey, perhaps. But no. Not tonight. Never again.

Other people’s drinking habits have caused me too much pain, and I vowed
never
to hurt anyone with mine.

Suddenly the house stirs with life and noise, and I realise it must be Chrissie returning from wherever she’s been this evening. I can’t help it; I’m relieved. I half expect her to just move out one day, to just leave without telling me. I wouldn’t blame her. The way I’ve behaved, I don’t deserve her continued devotion to Tabby. Her continued presence in the house.

For some reason, I
still
haven’t asked my assistant Hannah to look into an alternative living arrangement for Chrissie in one of my other properties. Maybe I don’t want to hurt her feelings by asking her to move out so quickly, or maybe I just need her around, somehow.

Calmed by the knowledge that she’s back, I feel ready to finally relax and go to bed. But then I hear a second voice in the doorway and it dawns on me she’s not alone.

And wait. I
know
that voice ...

I head quickly down the stairs, and sure enough, there’s Chrissie and to my surprise, she’s with Bruce. Wow. When I gave him her number, I guess I didn’t think that they would actually go out together, not to mention so soon. I have to hand it to him – he’s a fast worker.

“Will, old buddy!” says Bruce cheerily. “I’ve just had a delightful evening with Chrissie, here. She’s a real find.”

Chrissie glances at me, an expression in her eyes that I can’t quite read.

Then she suddenly turns to face Bruce and, touching his arm, coos, “Yes, we’ve had a
great
time. We went to the most amazing cocktail bar. All done out in prohibition style! You have to take me again there sometime, Bruce.”

Whoa
, I think. This isn’t what I expected. I didn’t suspect she’d actually like him. But the way she’s looking at him now, it’s obvious she does. And even Bruce looks a little taken aback, but pleasantly so.

“Sure, of course,” he says. “I’m out of the country this week, but I’ll call you the minute I get back.”

“See you next week then,” she says brightly.

“See you next week,” returns Bruce, before looking up at me. “Same to you, buddy,” he says.

“Of course,” I say, coolly, trying to keep my anger at bay. “See you next week.”

Chrissie reaches up to kiss him on the cheek as he leaves, and Bruce looks smug, like the cat that got the cream.

Get out of my house!
I want to scream at my best friend – the man who’s been there for me through everything. What the hell is wrong with me? I must be going out of my damn mind.

Bruce lets himself out and the door shuts decisively behind him. And once we’re alone in the hall, Chrissie looks up at me, perhaps a little unsure about what to do or say next.

“Good date, then?” I offer, trying not to let any emotion show.

“Yes,” she nods coldly. “We had a great time, actually.”

“He’s a player, you know,” I warn. “He’s always got four or five women on the go, sometimes more. He’ll just hurt you in the end.”

“Why do you care?” she snaps back, her voice brimming with anger now. “What is it to you?”

“You spend all day with my daughter,” I say through gritted teeth trying to remain cool. “If you’re unhappy, she’s going to pick up on that and she’ll be unhappy too. I can’t have that.”

My words enrage her. Her eyes blaze, and she drops her bag at her feet, then takes a step closer to me, launching into a tirade of abuse, practically shouting now.

“I’m not just a nanny, you know. I’m not just some fucking
robot
. I’m a human being and I deserve my own life. I deserve to go out. I deserve to be happy. You can’t just keep me cooped up in that flat, working all day and hiding from you all night, pretending that I don’t exist, pretending that what happened between us
didn’t
happen.”

She takes another step forward, so close in fact that I can smell her perfume and see, up close, the fire blazing in her beautiful green eyes.

“Because what
did
happen the other night, Will?” she continues. “You’ve just blanked me ever since, and I’m starting to think that I dreamt the whole thing up, that nothing happened, that I’m going out of my fucking mind.”

Her passion consumes me, and all the reserve I’ve been holding onto for dear life breaks within me. I just can’t keep my feelings in check any longer. I can’t deny what I feel for this girl.

“It happened, Chrissie,” I say, pleadingly, imploringly. “You’re not crazy. It happened and I’m scared. Because I want you so damn much, I can’t stop thinking about you.”

And then there are no more words. She puts her mouth on mine and wraps her arms around my neck, melting into me, and I feel a week’s worth of pent up desire burst free as we kiss.

I’m completely overwhelmed by the kiss, even though it’s totally my fault. I’m the one who went for it. But was that even me? I mean, seriously, I have no idea what’s even happening right now. All I know is that I am desperate to feel him against me, and that wild horses couldn’t drag me away from this kiss.

He pulls away from me just long enough to fix me in his eyes and issue the command, “Upstairs,
now
.”

And it’s then that it dawns on me that we’re in the hallway, and that Tabby or any of the other staff could find us here, wrapped in each other’s arms.

Wordlessly I do as he says, as he leads me up one flight of stairs then another. I half expect him to take me up another flight, too – to my apartment. But instead we stop on this floor and he takes me through to what must be his bedroom. It’s clearly the master bedroom – enormous and with a huge super king sized bed, which we quickly fall onto.

In a heartbeat he’s over me, kissing me, that broad muscular body covering mine completely. But unlike last time, there’s a
slowness
this evening, too. Sure, it’s still hot and urgent, but it’s also like he wants to take his time, wants to really slow down and savour this moment – which is totally and utterly fine by me!

I shiver and sigh, lying there beneath him as his sensual kisses move to my neck while his hands move to my body, uncovering me, undressing me – slowly but surely, each move so fluid, so confident. First the unbuttoning of my blouse. Then the unzipping of my jeans. Then the way he pulls them – along with my panties – so easily down my thighs, quickly covering my bare tingling flesh beneath with a series of light kisses.

Before I know it, my whole lower half is totally naked, and normally I’d be kinda embarrassed about this – especially when there’s a guy’s head right there between my legs – but tonight? With Will? Well, it just feels so natural.

As his kisses begin to tease the insides of my thighs, working closer and closer to the center, I spread my legs wider for him, aching for him, bucking my hips, eager to feel his lips touch against my most private, sensitive place. And when his tongue finally laps against my clit, so slowly, so gently, I let out a long, low moan, my whole body coursing with pleasure.

Before long, I’m writhing and gasping, the flashes of pleasure shooting through my body, as Will licks and laps and nibbles and sucks, each fresh movement of his tongue seeming to double the pleasure that’s flashing around my body. And when I realize that I’m actually close to
coming
, I can’t quite believe it. Nobody’s ever made me come – period – but let alone just with their
mouth
.

I wind my fingers tight into his thick luscious hair, my senses filled with the delicious scent of his cologne, bracing myself as, a moment later, my whole body starts to shudder and buck, my thighs clamping tight around his head and a long moan escaping my lips even though I’m trying my hardest to keep quiet – the way I do whenever I come on my own. And speaking of that, this is way
way
more intense than anything I’m normally used to; so much so that for a moment I even feel like I’m about to pass out.

“Oh my god,” I say with a trembling whisper, once I’ve finally floated back down to earth.

“Glad to be of service,” Will grins back at me, still there between my legs, still in all his clothes, his perfect hair now a little mussed up, but otherwise still the total picture of an English gent. An English gent who just did
that
to me.

“Come back here,” I say, pulling his face back towards mine, pulling him up and over me.

When I kiss him, I can taste my own sweetness on his tongue, and once again I feel my body charge with desire and adrenaline, still so hungry for him – still needing so much
more
.

Again Will starts to undress me, focussing now on the few remaining clothes on my upper half, my blouse and bra.

“Hey, no fair,” I giggle, once I’m totally naked there on the sheets beneath him and he’s still in his suit.

“How very rude of me,” he grins back, pushing himself up off me, hurriedly slipping off his own clothes.

Which is when I realize I’ve still not seen his naked body. I lie on the bed, resting on my elbows, still feeling so comfortable even though I’m totally naked, and I feel the excitement grow inside me as I watch Will uncover more and more of what turns out to be a totally gorgeous body.

I’d kind of guessed he might be in good shape – he certainly
felt
that way – but holy hell! He’s so
toned
it’s crazy, and his lean yet muscular figure tells me he must have put that home gym to plenty of use.

Pretty soon, he’s only wearing his silk boxers, and I feel my hungry gaze fixing on him there as he casually slides them down over his muscular thighs. Okay, so as you can probably guess, I’m still not
that
experienced when it comes to things like this, but
... wow
. He’s definitely the biggest in that department I’ve ever seen before. By a mile. A little part of me even wonders whether he’ll be able to fit him inside me. But even as I’m thinking it, I can feel this deep ache, there between my legs. I’ve never been wetter or more ready in my life.

He turns away for a moment, taking a package from a dresser drawer, and when he turns back to climb onto the bed, I realize he’s fitted a condom over that amazingly gorgeous cock of his.

Soon he’s back on top of me, our mouths crushed together in a kiss, my hard, tingling nipples grazing against his broad muscular chest, his hands cupping my face, the tempting heat of his cock brushing against the insides of my thighs.

For a moment we pause, locking eyes, and I shiver with pleasure at just how
right
this feels.

“Are you okay?” he murmurs tenderly, perhaps sensing that I’m not as experienced as him, and obviously wanting to check I’m as into this as he is.

“Don’t worry, I’m having a wonderful time,” I grin, pulling him back towards me in a hungry kiss, spreading my legs wide beneath him, my mouth and my body telling him everything he needs to know.

I feel him reach down and guide himself between my legs, the hot hard head of his cock pressing against my opening for a moment, and then I feel my body yielding as he slips inside me, filling me, stretching me wide, pushing so
deep
inside me. Fuck! I’ve never felt like this before.

I groan with pleasure, closing my eyes, as Will begins to rock his hips, taking me slowly yet urgently, each movement of his body increasing the pleasure inside me. Soon, I’m writhing and shivering again, knowing a second orgasm isn’t far away.

I rake my fingers over the delicious broadness of his back, gasping as he reaches between my legs and begins to tease my clit with his thumb too, all the while filling me with his hot thick hardness.

With a final shudder, I’m coming hard –
again!
– my mind flashing white, blinded with pleasure, my body spasming beneath him, every nerve aflame with my excitement. And with a low cry, I feel Will tense and stiffen, then he comes too, and I throw my arms tight around him, crushing my mouth against his in one last hungry kiss as we both tremble with pleasure. 

But once the kiss is over, once we’re both lying back on the sheets to catch our breath, I feel the real world come crashing in again. 

Because deep down, I know I can’t stay here. I know that for sure. Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t
want
to leave. This feels so good, so right, so natural, but even so: I’m not stupid. I know that Will doesn’t want me to stay the night, no matter what we just did. Any second now, he’s gonna ask me to leave and I just can’t bear that. The thought of him having to ask me to get out of here, of him sending me away is just too much.

I realize I’ve gottta be strong and take control on this one. So I wrench myself out of his arms, out of the sheets, and begin to find my scattered clothes and put them back on.

“You’re going,” he says, not like a question but like a statement of fact. Because we both know it’s the thing that has to happen.

“Tabby,” I whisper gently. “I don’t want to confuse her. I don’t want her to wake up and find us here.”

He nods in silent understanding, and I hope that Tabby is the real reason why he doesn’t want me staying here in his bed. Because now we’ve done it, now we’ve fucked, now he’s got what he wants what if it if he wants nothing more to do with me?

“Excuse me,” he mouths, lifting himself out of bed and disappearing into the en-suite bathroom.

I wonder whether he’s hiding from me to escape the awkwardness that’s suddenly appeared in the room. Or am I just inventing it? I don’t know.

Soon, I’m completely dressed and Will returns from the bathroom wrapped in a fluffy white robe.

“Well,” I say. “I guess I’d better go back to my room.”

He nods. I don’t understand why he’s so freaking
silent
all of a sudden, but it’s kind of scaring me.

So there’s nothing for it, except to do like I say, and leave the room.

“Goodnight,” I say, pausing in the doorway.

And he finally speaks, “Goodnight,” but as he says it, he looks away, turning his face away from mine as if he can’t bear to look at me.