Beach Rental (12 page)

“That’s how you ended up in the garden?”

“Luke’s fault, like I said.”

Maia beamed. “Fate. I call it fate. You and Ben were meant to be together.”

“If that’s what it is, then I hope fate will be kind for a change.” Juli stood. “I’ve been kicked in the gut by fate more than a few times and I’m ready to kick back. Hard.”

Chapter Thirteen

When she returned home, Ben was sitting in his rocker reading a Devotional. Juli wasn’t sure what that was, except that it was a ‘topic for the day’ sort of thing. She curled up on the rattan sofa to read a novel, but every time the rocker squeaked she looked up at Ben and felt guilty. Devious. Juli couldn’t regret not telling him about Frankie, or even about asking Luke for help. She didn’t want to interfere in his relationship with Luke and, regarding Frankie, she didn’t want Ben looking over his shoulder for the creep whenever they left the house. She didn’t want to risk Ben trying to act the hero.

Ben was rational. More likely he would try to reason with Frankie, but when it came to people like Frankie, it was better to play hardball.

“You look pensive,” Ben said.

Juli met his eyes, thinking for the umpteenth time that she should tell him and be done with it. It wasn’t a big deal anyway. She opened her mouth to tell him, but said, instead, “Maia thinks the world of you.”

“Maia is a sweetheart.”

“She is. Ben, if you were lonely and you two are such good friends, then why me? Why not Maia?”

“Maia?” He looked bemused.

Juli frowned. “Yes.”

“Maia is a friend. More like a sister, I guess. I never thought of her that way.”

“But for companionship….”

“Why do you ask?”

No way would she tell him about Maia’s feelings. It would be like a betrayal.

“No reason,” Juli said.

“Are you still wondering why I pursued you?”

She shrugged. She hadn’t been, but now she was interested.

“It’s been almost two months and you haven’t packed your bags and fled, so I guess I can tell you.” He left the rocker and sat next to her on the sofa, close, but not quite touching.

“You, Juli, woke my heart.” He reached out and took her hand, examining the rings on her finger. “I hadn’t considered remarriage in nearly fifteen years. Never even crossed my mind.” He turned her hand over, palm upward, and traced the life line and heart line. “How did you speak to my heart? I know you weren’t trying to and I wasn’t looking for it. It just happened.”

Juli reached over and put her free hand on top of his so that she clasped his hand between hers, but she didn’t interrupt.

“When you left that night after driving me home, I couldn’t sleep. You know how it is sometimes, when you aren’t well? You sleep so much that then you can’t sleep at all? I was wakeful and I kept thinking about you. You seemed ‘shiny’ in my mind. That sounds stupid and I can’t explain it better, so leave it as said. We’d barely even seen each other. It was dark, remember? I saw you only by the dashboard lights. I enjoyed listening to you, but I was so tired. How could I trust my memory? I’d just about talked myself out of thinking of you. Then I remembered you worked at Singer’s. I figured I’d go, get another look at you. Seeing you again, facing reality, would show me how foolish I was.”

“You shocked me when you walked in that morning. I didn’t know what to think. It seemed so…unreasonable that you would track me down.”

“When I saw you, I knew I was right. Reason and logic had nothing to do with it.” He added his other hand to their clasp. “I don’t care if I sound like a fool now. I have no regret. I hope you agree.”

Juli put her head on his shoulder. “I told myself you were crazy and that I was crazier, but you’re right—I don’t regret it.” Over time, given time, they might feel differently, but in the short term, this marriage arrangement had been a wise choice for them both, and short term was all they had.

Juli sniffled and touched a hand to her eyes.

“Are you crying?”

He sounded concerned and she almost giggled. She knew his romantic heart was hoping to offer comfort.

“Ben, when I was a child I heard a fable about a bet between the sun and the wind to prove which was stronger. Do you know it?”

“Where they took turns trying to wrest a coat from a man to prove their strength?”

“That’s it. The wind blew and blew and the man clutched his coat tighter. The sun beamed and gradually warmed him and the man gladly removed his coat.”

“That’s how I remember it.”

“Well, to me, you are the sun.”

That evening, when he went upstairs, Juli wondered how it would be if she went with him. She felt tenderness and something like love.

And they were married.

Ben didn’t ask for that sort of companionship. Never had. Was it was a physical problem or was he was just sticking to their agreement—expecting no more from her than she wanted to give? Rather than risk hurt or embarrassment, she watched him go upstairs each night, always earlier than she.

And because she couldn’t bring herself to ask, he went alone.

****

On Wednesday, Ben said, “I want to fix whatever’s wrong between you and Luke. I can’t have my two favorite people at odds, practically baring their fangs at each other every time the other is mentioned.”

It took Juli a moment to choose which expression to put on her face. “What do you mean?”

“I mean you are both reasonable people. You both think you’re hiding how you feel about each other, probably thinking you’re protecting me, but you’re fooling yourselves. Not that I don’t appreciate your effort, but every time I’m talking to one of you I have to be careful about mentioning the other. It's ridiculous.”

He walked over to where she sat, studying, and leaned over the back of the chair. “Luke will be very helpful to you when I’m gone.”

Juli frowned and closed her book. She was perfectly willing to put the world history textbook aside. Seemed like it went from one war to another. It got old.

“Why do you talk like that? I’ll take care of myself. I always have.” She tried again. “When I’m on my own again, I’ll go back to my life. Luke won’t figure into it. You’re the only thing Luke and I have in common.” She walked over to the kitchen counter and dropped the book on top of the other two. Grammar and math. Ugh.

Ben followed. “Then do it for me. When I bring you two together, try to be open with each other. I know you both. You are wonderful people.”

Juli swallowed her pride and faced Ben with a smile on her face. “When do you plan to hold this peace treaty discussion?”

He ignored her sarcasm. “What time is it?”

She looked at the kitchen clock. “Nearly one o’clock.”

“How about now? He’s bringing lunch.”

Luke knocked on the door. He and the pizza boxes were visible through the glass. Juli shrugged. If lunch didn’t go well, it wouldn’t be her fault. Luke had helped her with Frankie and she owed him. She owed Ben, too.

Ben opened the door and said, “Come on in.”

Luke saw Juli and paused in the doorway.

“Come in. Pizza’s getting cold.” He moved aside as Luke entered. “We’re going to share lunch today.”

“Is this why you wanted me to bring pizza over? Two pizzas?” Luke set the boxes on the kitchen counter.

Despite her best intentions, Juli deflated. She went to the cupboards to get plates and to hide her expression.

Ben intercepted her. “No, no. I’ll take care of this. You two sit down.”

Luke asked, still standing, “What’s the problem, Ben?”

“You two are the problem. My problem. I care about you both. Sit down. We’ll share lunch and get to know each other better.”

Luke pressed his lips together. No words were going to make it past that blockage. Juli tried to fill the gap.

“Is that pepperoni?” Oh, so fascinating, pepperoni.

Luke responded, “With mushrooms. Ben likes mushrooms.”

“I know. Did you get it at that place about a mile down the road?”

Luke answered like it mattered. “Yes.”

An inept attempt at a congenial conversation.

Ben said, “Juli’s taking art lessons.”

“With Anna. I know. Anna told me.” Luke replied.

Ben looked at her. It was her turn, but Juli didn’t want to discuss her artistic efforts with Luke over pizza in this artificially staged atmosphere.

Luke stepped in. “Anna’s had some very nice sales recently. One of our gallery customers attended a show she held with some of her students at a hotel in Nags Head and was impressed. Asked to see some of the work privately through the gallery.”

“Juli, you should consider participating in one of Anna’s shows,” Ben said.

“Please.” Now it was her turn to purse her lips. A sigh. She softened her response. “Maybe after more training and practice.”

When lunch was done—a civil lunch with Luke and Juli subdued by a shared guilt because they’d dealt with Frankie behind Ben’s back—Luke excused himself, saying he had business to tend to. Ben kissed Juli’s cheek and went to take a nap.

Juli walked out to the porch. There was a change in the air, perhaps only in barometric pressure, but it tingled her skin. The last time she’d felt a change coming was when she’d driven Ben home that night back in April.

The footsteps coming up the outside stairs to the porch were Luke’s. Juli knew it before she saw him. When he reached the top of the stairs, he stopped and looked up, above her head.

“His sliding door is closed. Is he napping?”

Luke was speaking in soft tones. Juli did the same.

“Yes, he is. You didn’t go far.”

“I want to declare a truce.”

“A truce?”

“Let’s give each other the benefit of the doubt?”

Juli crossed her arms. She felt a stab of sadness. “For the time being, you mean?”

“Yes.”

“For Ben’s sake?”

“For Ben’s sake.”

For whatever stupid reason, Juli felt moisture gathering in her eyes. Had there been some purpose in their antagonism? It certainly hadn’t been pleasant, and yet, surely over time they could have found some sort of acceptance—might even come to appreciate each other. Now, it would never happen.

She extended her hand and Luke grasped it. His grip was strong. Reassuring. And more?

He continued holding her hand as if time had stilled. She looked into his eyes and saw the amber lights.

Abruptly, they broke their handclasp.

He started down the steps, but looked back and Juli couldn’t help herself.

“Luke,” she called out.

“Yes?”

“You don’t have to worry. I’ll take good care of Ben—for both of us.”

Chapter Fourteen

For their first month anniversary, Ben had surprised Juli with a card and flowers, but she wasn’t going to get caught on the short end of gift giving today, their second anniversary. She’d purchased a beautiful card with lots of hearts and flowers, guaranteed to charm a romantic like Ben. Choosing a gift had been more difficult. Juli hadn’t wanted to go overboard, in case Ben didn’t celebrate second month anniversaries.

She got up early and put the card and gift box at his place on the kitchen table. A second gift box was under the table. Not perfectly hidden, but good enough. She took the egg carton and butter from the refrigerator and lined up the breakfast food, ready to cook as soon as he made his appearance. The floor above her creaked. Juli was excited—silly excited—almost giggling. She was about to trump Ben, the champion gift-giver of all time.

He came down the stairs and spied the table, already set and with a present waiting. The small box had a big, shiny blue bow. He paused on the stairs and smiled, then continued down into the kitchen and kissed her cheek.

“Happy second anniversary,” he said.

“And to you. Now, have a seat. Breakfast will be ready shortly
.”

“First, I have to get something. I’ll be back in a minute.”

He went to the study with a big grin on his face. His happiness warmed her from the inside out, making her very glad she’d gotten the presents for him. Her instincts had been right. She was cracking the eggs over the edge of the frying pan when she heard him returning. Juli tossed the shell fragments into the trash, then turned around and saw a large box on her chair.

“What have you done?”

“You’ll have to see for yourself. Are the eggs burning?”

“Oh!” Juli swung back to face the stove and started flipping the eggs with the spatula. “Ben, Ben, Ben.” She came close to swearing. Instead, she settled for laughing.

“What’s so funny?”

She pointed the spatula toward him. “You are too much.” His face glowed, lit like a beacon. She shook her head, amazed, slipped the eggs onto the plates, and grabbed the toast. “Here you go.”

“Aren’t you going to open your present?”

“After we eat. Food first.” Juli couldn’t resist doing the teasing for a change.

He said a blessing over the food, but when he was done, he still looked disappointed.

She relented. “On the other hand….”

“What?”

“You could go ahead and take a look at your card, and maybe the gift. If you’d like to.”

Ben picked up the card and opened the flap. He read each word, then blinked his eyes and rubbed his nose. “Nice.” He cleared his throat.

“What’s this?” He picked up the box and shook it gently. “Not breakable, is it?”

“No. I hope you’ll like it. I didn’t know if you would, so I have a second gift for you, too. Well, it’s for both of us.”

“Two gifts?”

“For two months.”

Carefully, he worked the blue ribbon off of the package, then unwrapped the paper. He lifted the lid from the box and drew out the chain.

Had she guessed right? Ben was a gentleman. He would pretend he liked it, regardless of his true feelings.

He held the chain, dangling from one hand, the dog tag swinging at the end. He didn’t say anything, so she jumped into the void.

“It says FAITH on the back. On the front, there’s a cross with the verse noted. The man who makes them said the tiny thing at the bottom is a mustard seed. It has to do with the verse. You’re supposed to wear it like a dog tag, but you don’t have to. You could attach it to your key ring or whatever.”

He examined both sides of the tag. “Matthew 17:20. My name is engraved on it below the verse.”

“It was special order. I can’t send it back, so I hope you like it.”

“I love it.” He put it around his neck, but kept one hand wrapped around the dog-tag type pendant. “How did you choose that verse?”

“I read all of the verses on the website. This one says that if you have faith, nothing is impossible. You are the most optimistic, believing person I know. You believed in us, didn’t you?”

His eyes looked misty. Maybe he truly did like it, but now she was ready for something more cheerful. She reached below the table and brought out a shirt box.

“This is the second gift?” He held it, looking at the paper with little pictures of wedding cakes and bells.

“Yes, but please, for me, tear the paper off this time? Just rip it.”

“Here goes.” He started at one end, slipping a finger below to slit the tape, but then gave it a great, ripping tear from end to end. “How’s that?”

She stopped him, placing her hands on top of the box. “This is for our evening walks.”

“Whatever you say.” He lifted the top and pulled the first shirt out. It was navy blue with white letters. He read aloud, “Juli’s husband.” Then he pulled the second shirt out, “Ben’s wife.” It was red, but also with white letters.

“Kind of corny, huh?” Doubt again.

“Only in the most wonderful way. But there’s one problem.”

“What?”

“Now that I have these, I have everything I could want. What on earth will you give me for future anniversaries?”

“Hah. Funny. Now, my turn.” Juli set the box on the chair next to her. She eased off the bow delicately, carefully, then demolished the paper with abandon.

The contents of the box were wrapped in white packing paper. She picked up the topmost one. It was long and thin and the paper rustled as she unwound it.

Juli stared at the bundle of paint brushes. They were brushes for oil paints. She put them on the table and selected another paper-wrapped item. This was a set of colored pencils. And the next, and the next—they were the physical manifestation of Anna’s art supplies list. With each unwrapped item, Ben’s smile grew wider. She worked her way through the box, checking out the brushes, paints, pencils, tablets of specialty papers—on and on. Ben had missed nothing. Juli opened her mouth, but found herself speechless.

“Now, come with me.” He grabbed her hand and led her into the study. “I couldn’t fit this into the box.” He opened the closet door, pushed the coats aside and pulled out an easel. “For my artist wife.”

****

In mid-July, Juli told Anna she was ready to join a group. Anna switched her to a class that met late on Thursday afternoons. “You’ll love them,” Anna said. “They are sweet, incredible people.”

Juli arrived on Thursday afternoon. Anna’s house was known territory now, but still she was anxious.

A couple of women, an older man and a teenager all looked up from their easels, most calling out greetings. The teenager didn’t actually speak, but waved his brush in her direction before he disappeared back behind his canvas.

The white-haired man was a former naval officer. “Call me, Dodge,” he said. “I’m retired now.”

Juli envied his posture. He stood as if at attention. The teenager was being home-schooled and sent to Anna for art class. When Anna introduced him, he blushed.

“This is Billy Wooten. Billy, this is Mrs. Bradshaw.”

“If it’s all the same, I’d rather he called me Juli.”

“I’m Laura and that’s Donna.” The darker haired woman pointed her paintbrush at the shorter woman. “We’re friends. Donna talked me into this. Oops, sorry Anna. We love you and we love this class.” She giggled.

There was no type for her to fit into, or not to fit into. Juli found that comforting. She chose an easel next to the kid. Looked to be a little less chatter at that end of the room.

So far, so good.

Juli opened her art box and laid out her tubes and brushes. From the corner of her eye she caught a glimpse of Billy’s work. Seemed to be heavy lines in black and white with splashes of color. While she was peeking, Billy was also looking out of the corner of his eye and when their gazes met, Billy blushed all over again.

She opened the jar of turpentine and using the burnt umber, did a wash in varying degrees of light and dark as a roadmap for the painting to come.

****

Juli was gradually accumulating what Anna called a portfolio. Much too grand a word for what she was bringing home, but she could see modest improvement.

Juli stored her artwork in the topmost room of the
Glory
. The crow’s nest. Sometimes, when standing on the balcony with the wind streaming through her hair and the waves crashing below, she imagined she was standing on the prow of a Spanish galleon or on the parapet of a castle that perched on the edge of ocean cliffs. Anywhere, but where she used to be.

Not her old self or old places, but instead, someone with dreams living in a place of infinite promise.

****

For their third anniversary, Ben and Juli agreed to forego the presents and have dinner out. Ben said they were going to a restaurant over by the sound.

“Do I know it?” she asked.

“It’s a small place, but special.”

Juli frowned. There was something he wasn’t saying. She recognized his tone of voice, the lilt that suggested there were words unsaid.

She was driving at Ben’s suggestion. He said he felt fine, but he’d kept his hand on his mid-section for most of the day. It was an unconscious gesture, but Juli figured he was in some pain. He sat with his head back against the headrest, pale, but appearing relaxed as he listened to the radio. There was talk about a hot spot off the west coast of Africa spinning up a bunch of storms. A few of the tropical weather systems had made it across the Atlantic and dropped a ton of water on the islands in the Caribbean, but the storms had dwindled to tropical depressions, or to nothing at all, by the time they neared the US mainland.

Ben switched the radio off.

“Are you worried?” she asked.

“About storms? No. We’re prepared.”

“Hurricanes move slowly, that’s good.”

“They can be unpredictable, but there’s plenty of time to evacuate if you don’t wait until the last minute and we won’t.”

As they approached where the causeway met Atlantic Avenue, Ben sat up straighter and tapped his index finger against the console. She gave him a quick look.

“There,” he said. “See where that huge rack of boats is? Just past that, turn left.”

She turned, as instructed, into the parking lot of a marina.

“Did you guess?” he asked. “Park over there.”

There were a bunch of boat slips and nice-looking docks. A number of boats were tied up, but Ben wouldn’t have had her dress up for anything less than that big shiny, two-story boat at the end of the dock.

“Ben?”

Several men were standing inside. One was dressed in chef’s whites.

“It’s ours for the evening. It’s called a party boat. A friend of mine is loaning it to us for our anniversary dinner and the chef is a friend, too. Have you ever dined on the ocean at sunset?”

****

Sunset on the dock, sunset on the beach, even sunset from their front porch was beautiful—made beautiful because the particulates in the atmosphere scattered the waning rays of sunlight, painting the sky in hues of red and gold.

Lulled into peaceful wonder, Juli sat on the cushioned seat at the side rail of the boat, gently rocked by the movement of the ocean, feeling the touch of a breeze that had traveled from some exotic land far away. She watched the growing splash of vivid color skipping across the shifting surface of the Atlantic Ocean.
It was like living in the midst of a poem.

Ben touched her arm. “Amazing, isn’t it?”

“I don’t know words big enough to describe it. Awesome, inspiring—I can’t do it justice with words. Or with paint.”

Juli held up her empty hands. Powerless. “Anna said people look for perfection and when they think they’ve found it, they try to hold onto it forever.”

“This is a sunset, Juli. It’s beautiful and it will come again. The next will be different and may be more awesome. For me,
joy
is the word I feel.”

“Joy?”

“Joy at creation.” He threaded his fingers through hers. “The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands.”

“Now, that’s beautiful.”

“It’s Psalm 19. Verse 1.”

“The sunset’s fading.” She leaned toward him. The slump of his shoulders betrayed his fatigue. Juli tightened her fingers around his and was disturbed. They felt bony and the knuckles were large in contrast.

He put his lips against her hair and whispered, “There will be more. Guaranteed.”