Bear, Otter, & the Kid 03 - The Art of Breathing (8 page)

“I don’t need any other home,” he tells me roughly. “I don’t need any other home than you, so you don’t ever forget that, you hear me? You don’t ever forget me. You can’t. You just can’t.”

As if I could. As if I could ever want to. I jump out at him and he drags me from the bathtub and curls me up against his chest where a great heart beats a staccato rhythm. And we sit here, in the waning afternoon, just me and him. For a time, it doesn’t matter what’s happened before. It doesn’t matter what’s coming. All that matters is that Dom is who I need him to be and I pray I can be the same for him.

After a while, he says, “The present.”

“Yeah?” I close my eyes and breathe him in.

“It’s the best thing I’ve ever gotten.”

“Yeah?” My chest feels warm again.

“Yes. Thank you, Ty. It’ll help me.”

“With what?”

“When you’re gone.”

“Who’s going to tell you what to wear?” I sniff. “You can’t match clothes to save your life.”

Stacey will help him
, it whispers to me, but I shove it away.

“I guess I’ll have to call you every day,” he says with a huff of laughter. It almost sounds like a sob.

“Every day?”

“Every day.”

“I’m going to come back.”

“Sure, Ty.”

“I will,” I insist. I pull away to look at him. He won’t meet my eyes. “Dom. Look at me.”

He does, but there’s doubt there. He can’t hide it from me. “I don’t….” He shakes his head.

“You’ll see. I promise.” I lean back against him. “You’re my best friend too, Dom. You’ll see.”

“I know, Ty.”

“Do you know why?”

“Why?”

“You and me?”

“Yeah?” He holds me tighter.

I hug him back. “We’re inevitable.”

And we sit there for a while longer until the earth no longer shakes. Until we can stand without falling over. Until we can face the world with a decision made, though it is breaking our hearts.

I
FIND
Bear and Otter outside, away from everyone else. They stop talking as soon as they see me, and I can tell they were talking about me. They both look worried, and I can’t have that. I’m stronger. I will be stronger. I’ll show them. I’ll show everyone.

Otter reaches for me first, and I wrap my arms around his waist. Bear comes up next to him, rests his hand on my shoulder, and leans against his husband.

“Okay, Kid?” Otter asks.

I nod. Maybe not all the way okay. But I will be. One day, I will be. “I’ve made up my mind,” I tell them, my voice strong.

Bear glances over at Dom, who is standing near the Green Monstrosity, waiting for me. We’ve decided to get out of here for a bit, just me and him. “And what do you want to do?” Bear asks.

“We’re going,” I say. “We’re leaving Seafare.”

They glance at each other over me. “You sure?” Otter asks after a moment.

I nod. “I have to. I need to. For me. Is that okay?”

“More than okay,” Bear says. And then he smiles.

D
OM
AND
I walk along our little section of the beach, the tide low, the whitecaps of the waves foamy and small. Seagulls cry out overhead. The wind has a bite to it. Mrs. P feels close, like she always does when I’m here. Dom drops his arm on my shoulder but doesn’t speak. He doesn’t have to. We’ve already said everything that needs to be said, at least for now. All we do is walk. All we do is hold on while we still have time.

All we do is breathe.

Where Tyson Makes a Phone Call

A few weeks later

“H
EY
, D
OM
.
What are you—What? Ha! Shut up. I do not! I’m not worried at all. Everyone’s gonna love my speech. They will too! You’ll just have to wait and see. I’m not going to tell you yet. Because you have to be surprised! Hey, can I ask you a question? Oh, what? She does? Oh. Well, tell Stacey I say hi back. What? Nothing’s wrong. I am telling you the truth! Don’t tell me what I am—What question? Oh yeah. It’s not important. Don’t worry about it. Ah, God, you’re so annoying. Fine. I was just going to ask you if you’d come visit me when I was away at school. It’s not that big of a deal. You will? Really? You won’t… never mind. That’s dumb. Jesus! You won’t forget about me or anything? What? You’ll think about me every day? Wow. No. I’m not going to say it. Just Otter. I’m not going to say it! Ugh! Fine. Friends until we’re old and gray, beginning to end, day after day. I was nine when I first said that! Whatever. My poetry skills rock. Is it okay if I ride with you to the graduation? Cool. Is Stacey going to be there? Maybe she could take her own car, and we could—yeah? Cool. Alright. Just come over. I know. I know you’re proud of me. I know. Yeah. I’m going to miss you so—What? Stacey says you gotta go? Okay. Yeah. Love you too.”

Where Tyson Graduates and Bear Freaks Out

I
LOOK
at the crowd spread out before me, knowing I just have one last paragraph to get through. I shouldn’t have looked up, but I did, and now I don’t know if I can finish, because there are hundreds of pairs of eyes staring back at me as if everyone is hanging on my every word. And maybe they are. My valedictorian speech isn’t too shabby. At least,
I
don’t think it is. It isn’t up in the pantheon with the Gettysburg Address or the “I Have a Dream” speech, but it’s pretty close. Kind of. Okay, not really at all, but it took me just an hour to write, so I’m not too concerned. Well, except for the ending part that’s about to happen. Bear’s going to freak. Like, seriously meltdown freak-out. Maybe I should leave that part out. Maybe I’m not ready.

Ugh.

I still shouldn’t have looked up, though.

Jesus Christ. At least we know my future isn’t in public speaking. Even my balls are sweaty. Gross. It’s not helping that there are news cameras trained on me from as far away as Washington. I can see the headlines already:
MUTANT FIFTEEN-YEAR-OLD CAUSES HAVOC WITH SPEECH; OLDER BROTHER GOES ON RAMPAGE.

I feel a low level of panic coming on. It starts in my toes and tingles up through my legs, and just when I think it’s going to consume me, I find them. I find them all.

Creed, Anna, and JJ. Alice and Jerry Thompson. Erica and Georgia. Eddie. Anna’s parents, Stephanie and Ian Grant. Otter consoling Bear, who has tears streaming down his face. How embarrassing, even if it does cause a bit of a hitch in my own chest. Stacey, glancing over at my brother like she’s amused.

Him. Then there’s him. There’s always him. He’s watching me and our gazes lock and everything stops. For just a moment, everything else is gone and it’s like I’m speaking to him and only him. He nods at me, like he knows what I’m thinking, like he knows I’m scared. He probably
does
know. It’s who he is. It’s who we are. I know I’m doing this for myself, but I’m also doing it for him.

“The world is changing,” I say, my voice the strongest it’s been since I started speaking ten minutes ago. “Every day the world is changing. Sometimes, though, it’s not for the better. Sometimes it seems as if we’re taking two steps back for every one step forward. Some of us are still being told we aren’t good enough because of the color of our skin. Because of our socioeconomic background. Because of how we were raised.” I hesitate, but it’s now or never. “Or because of who we choose to love. I encourage you… no, I
beg
you to go out there and make the world a better place. Make it something we can look back and be proud of. That we can say at this moment, we made the decision to be the catalyst for change, that we rose up past every single prejudice facing us and held our heads high. My name is Tyson James Thompson. I am graduating at the age of fifteen years old as your valedictorian. I come from an unconventional family made of up bits and parts to create a whole that I wouldn’t change for anything in the world. And I am proud to say that I’m gay.”

The crowd starts to murmur as the news cameras all pan back to me quickly.

Dom’s eyes widen and his jaw drops. As a matter of fact, my whole family looks like I’ve just stripped on stage and started shaking my groove thang for everyone to see. Well, everyone except Otter. He already knew; though I don’t think he saw
this
coming.

Bear, though?

I think Bear might have just shit himself. Literally.

Yikes. And gross.

And over the rustling of the crowd, I finish: “Change starts with us. It starts now. And I challenge all of you to make a difference. Do it before it’s too late. Do it before it won’t matter anymore. Do it, so that one day, we can look back and say our generation was the one that cared for all others with open arms, that we discovered the key to no more hate was not a matter of politics or war, but a matter of acceptance. Thank you, and congratulations to you all.”

I step down off the pedestal into shocked silence.

And then, much to my surprise, the crowd roars in approval.

I am stunned when they get to their feet.

I am near tears when they stomp their feet and shout my name.

I leave the stage.

And, thirty minutes later, my name is called so I must return.

“Tyson James Thompson.”

The audience is loud again, but none more so than my family. All of them, every single one, are on their feet, screeching and howling and screaming. Creed pounds his chest and bellows my name. Otter has that crooked grin on display and is shouting something I can’t quite make out. Bear is tucked in at his side, still looking shell-shocked, but his lips are moving, even though I can’t hear him at all.

Dom, though? Dom is smiling, his eyes suspiciously bright. I am handed my diploma, and I smile for the flash of the camera as I shake the superintendent’s hand. As the flash dies, I see Dom wipe the back of his hand across his eyes. I’m going to give him so much shit later for that, the big softie.

Well, if I don’t get murdered first for outing myself to the graduating class of Seafare High. Probably not the smartest thing I’ve ever done. I probably should have thought it through a little better, but it seemed like a good idea at the time. Make all of the haters out there see that a tiny little fifteen-year-old smartass could cause a sort of chaos. Interesting reaction, though. I was expecting to have rotten fruit thrown at me. People don’t seem to carry that with them anymore to public speeches. Hurray for me.

We throw our caps into the air and the ceremony is over and the crowd starts to pour onto the field to find their loved ones, to hug them, to congratulate them, to tell them it’s almost time to move out because didn’t they know their parents were going to convert their bedroom into the new entertainment room?

I’m jostled in the crowd. My back is patted. My hair is ruffled. Some people glare at me. Others avoid me completely. People I don’t even know shake my hand. I’m pretty sure that hottie junior wrestler named Jake grabs my ass and grins at me. He slips a piece of paper into my hand and winks as he walks away. His phone number. Good Lord. I’m a fucking rock star. Sort of. I hope no girl throws her panties at my face. That’d be weird. And disgusting.

The crowd is too much. I can’t see where I’m going. I don’t—

“Tyson!” My name is thundered. A deep voice. A voice I love. “Ty!”

There’s a discarded folding chair, knocked over. I upright it and stand on it. The crowd mills around me. I’m as tall as them. Taller. And once I’m up, I can see him, towering above all the others, sweeping his gaze from side to side, his shoulders tense. He looks like he’s getting ready to knock everyone to the ground to find me.

I call his name and he turns to me. Immediately he moves. Everyone gets out of his way. He doesn’t take his gaze from me, and when he’s only feet away, I jump. He catches me. I wrap my legs around his hips and he wraps his big arms around me, crushing me to him. One hand goes to the back of my head, and I lay my cheek on his shoulder, scraping my nose against his neck. I can feel his heart racing in his chest.

“Are you mad at me?” I whisper in his ear.

He shivers. “No. Not for this. Not ever. You… are you sure?”

I nod into his neck.

He sighs, though it sounds like relief. “Okay, Ty. Then it’s okay. For you. For me. It’s all okay.”

And even as everyone moves around us, for that moment, there’s only me and him. Of course, though, it doesn’t last.

Our family finds us, and Dom sets me on my feet and there are tears poured on me and around me. I am pulled into hug after hug. I’m told it will be okay. I’m told everyone here loves me no matter what, they love me just the same as they did before. Not that I doubted that. Not that I thought it would change. Creed tells me he’s convinced now that JJ will probably be gay too, given that almost every male he knows likes to suck cock. Anna slaps him on the back of the head as JJ asks what cock is.

Otter’s one of the last, and he hugs me too, picking me up and spinning me around and around and around, like he did when I was a Kid. I try to beg off, knowing his leg isn’t as strong as it was before that car accident years before, but he holds on tight. “I’m very proud of you,” he whispers in my ear. “So very, very proud. And your brother is too. You just… hell, Kid. You kind of caught us all off guard with that one. I thought you were going to wait to say anything?”

“It’s who I am,” I say, as if that should be enough.

He nods as he sets me down. “I know. And you won’t hear me say otherwise. You’ve…. Bear’s just going to be Bear. You know that as well as I do.”

Speaking of. “Where is he?” I ask, looking around. My brother isn’t with the rest of them.

Otter shakes his head. “He’s waiting on the sidelines, over by the bleachers. Said he wanted to talk to you alone when we were done here.”

Oh, fuck.

Dom comes to stand beside me. “I’m going with him,” he says, looking defiantly at Otter. He sounds a bit angry “He’s not going by himself.”

“I think this is between Bear and him,” Otter says kindly. “Dom, Bear’s not going to do anything stupid. You know him. He just needs to talk this out with the Kid before he can make it click in his head. That’s just who Bear is.”