Bearing It All (8 page)

Her pink tongue circled his cock while her fingers fondled his balls.
Sweet Lord in heaven.

“Let me lay on me back, Beauty, so 'tis easier on ye.” He shifted, stretching out his legs. She grabbed both of his arse cheeks, squeezed them, and all but swallowed his cock. Her tongue did magical things as it swept up and down and flicked back and forth over the sensitive spot beneath his tadger's head. Surely she'd drive him mad with need. He fisted his hands in her curls and held her head in place.

“Ye are a wonder. Perfection of womanhood.” Her lips traveled the length of him, slowly at first. Then increasing in speed. Words tumbled out of Ronan's mouth in Gaelic as she drew his life's force from him and he shouted in release.

He wrapped his arms around her and lifted this fantastic female higher on his body. Her cheek to his shuddering and expanding heart. “Dinna move. I need ye against me.” He reached for the edge of the blankets and covered them. “I dinna ever want to let ye go. Ye have taught me something I never understood.”

“What? How to get rid of Parisian Pink Pecker Disease?”

He smacked her bare bottom under the blankets. “Nay, how deeply and quickly a man can love a woman. I never believed in it. In fact, I often scorned the emotion.”

“And now?” Her fingertips plucked one of his nipples and his cock nodded in approval.

“Now, me whole outlook on life is changing. I will cherish ye, protect ye, and kill to keep ye safe.” He exhaled some gratified laughter. “I'd even be willing to talk about having bairns with ye, if that was something ye wanted.” He sliced the air with the side of his hand. “And that was something I swore I'd never want. Me own bairns.”

“Children? We've only just declared our feelings.”

He rolled her over and circled her nipple with his tongue. “What does time have to do with anything? With how our hearts and souls mesh? With how much we need each other?” His finger slipped between the wet folds of her labia and stroked. “Ye do need me, dinna ye? Am I presuming too much?” His thumb circled her clit, closer and closer, yet never touching.

Her rate of breathing increased and the pulse at the base of her throat beat faster. “Yes, I care for you. Yes, I need you.”

He sat as he had before on his knees and opened the last condom.
Please let it be a decent color. Bloody hell! Neon purple.

She started to giggle, harder and harder.

“Dinna look at it if ye're going to get all gooney over the damn thing. Get on yer knees and straddle me lap, Beauty. Slide yer arms over me shoulders.” He slipped into her, holding her hips, and pushed her up and down, setting a rhythm she seemed to enjoy. Once her nails raked his back, a sign she was lost to the pace he'd set, he fisted his hand in her hair. “Whose woman are ye?”

Her head leaned back and she licked her lips as if all the panting had them too dry to speak. “Yours. I'm yours.” Being so close, he could detect the dark fan formed by her long lashes on her pale cheeks.

“Look me in the eyes, Beauty, and say it.” He had to see her deep blues; judge the honesty within her expressive orbes when she repeated the pledge. For he'd be damned if he'd lose her now, or ever.

Her lashes opened, revealing the windows to her stunning soul. “I belong to you, Ronan. And you…you belong to me.”

“Bloody right.” His heart nearly burst with happiness.

They kissed again, rough, passionate, and slowly the onslaught of their lips became gentle. They moved away from the joining of their lips to the caressing of their tongues and the mingling of their moans. Anisa began to soar first. As soon as her contractions began squeezing his cock, his balls tingled, and he took off, too, flying as he climaxed. They remained embraced as they toppled over and straightened their legs. He reached for a blanket, covered them, and held her close. “I love ye.” He kissed her lips quickly. “I adore ye, me Beauty.” He tucked his face against her neck and inhaled her faint strawberry scent.

“I love you, too. Feelings like this are new to me. They're kind of scary, especially when I'm on the run.” She leaned her head back and glanced at him. “We have no future. No safe future. No matter the emotions we have for each other. I will always belong to the French army until my time is up or when I get released from military jail for stealing a drone and going MIA. You do understand that.”

Panic thumped his heart with a steel hammer. “Nay. Nay, I refuse to accept it. 'Tis not the way to handle a problem. We dinna concentrate on how helpless the situation is. We focus on how to overcome it. I'm a handyman. When something major goes wrong at the lodge, I dinna throw me arms in the air and give up. I dig in, think, and figure out a solution. I'll do the same with ye, fer I'm no' giving ye up. Ever.

“As soon as the storm stops, I'm taking ye home to the lodge. Ye'll meet me family. Me clan, once they ken our relationship, will come together to keep ye safe. Trust me, Beauty. I'll take care of ye.” He tightened his arms around her and held her close. “Sleep, me luv. Let it snow outside while we snuggle inside, skin to skin, heart to heart.”

A few hours later, Ronan crawled out of bed, gently sliding his arm from under Anisa's neck so as not to waken her. They'd fallen asleep before he could get up and dispose of the condom, which was probably why it was almost empty when he did. No doubt some of the semen had leaked out during his nap.

Sleeping spooned around his Beauty was as natural and special to his well-being as breathing. He had no recollection of being as bonded to anyone as he was with this voluptuous woman. For the first time he understood the expression “one's other half,” for she was his.

Since his preteen years, he'd considered Brother Bear his other half. And, in a sense, he was. Ronan doubted he could live without either one—his bear or his Beauty. Although his brothers shared a closeness with their own bears, neither had grown as attached as he had to his shifter mate. He didna recall when exactly it happened after the death of his da—but for years now he'd found it easier to share his emotions with Brother Bear, the one who would never leave him. Now, with Anisa, there would be three of them.

She mumbled something about doing another test run on the drone and then quieted into a deep slumber. He picked up his kilt and boots, tiptoed out to the large room, and stoked the fireplace with wood. Before he'd shift, he'd place the shoes and plaid on the porch so he wouldna walk back into the cabin naked when he and his bear got back. Beauty might be up by then. 'Twould be hard to explain what he'd been doing out in a blizzard with nay clothes on.

He'd promised Brother Bear a run to work off his anger over what Anisa had told them. Even as angry as he was with his internal bear, Ronan would not break a promise to him. He opened his telepathic shield.

I'm sorry I ate all yer food. Me nerves were tied in knots over her being hurt, so they were.

“We'll nay speak of it again. Now shift so ye can run and roar off yer wrath. Throw some boulders. Rip apart a feckin' tree.”

Once the shifting was complete and Brother Bear was in the forefront, he loped for the hills beyond the cabin. Ronan didna think his bear would ever wear down his anger, even though the depth of the snow came nearly to his neck. Finally, he revolved in the direction of home, his breathing labored. Snow floated like diamonds from the cloud-filled sky as the sun tried its best to peep through the heavy haze in a weak effort at showing off a sunrise.

Brother Bear ran out of steam at the bottom of the steps, laid down, and shifted. Ronan stepped into his boots, wrapped his kilt around his waist, and grabbed an armful of wood before he opened the door. A hasty peek in the alcove showed Anisa was still sleeping. He took a quick shower to wash off the odor of wildness from Brother Bear and to warm his skin before he snuggled in bed with her again. His gaze settled on the box of condoms, and he smiled. Just in case, he grabbed another foil packet.

He lifted the blankets and settled behind her. She rolled over into his arms and kissed his neck. “Where were you?” Her voice was thick with sleep.

“Putting more wood in the fireplace. I wanted it warm in here fer ye, especially when ye get up.” He enveloped her tighter in his arms.

Her hand slipped between them and encircled his cock. “I missed having this poking me in the butt.”

“Did ye, now?” A few slow, deep kisses, more stroking, sweet whispered words, and he had her flipped on her hands and knees while he quickly donned the rubber. His fingertips plied her bald labia until she was wet and ready for him. His thumb circled her bud, tapping it until her muscles tensed, and then he pressed on it as he slipped into her in the middle of her climax. Moving slowly, he entwined his fingers with hers, and whispered over and over how much he loved her.

Desire burned down his spine and through his balls. “Come now, Beauty. Come with me,” he roared and she screamed his name.

Afraid he'd squash her, he rolled over to dispose of the condom in the wastebasket by the bed and was once again surprised by the small amount it held. By the strength of his climax, the protective shield should have been half full. Too tired to give it much thought, he pulled his Beauty close, nuzzled her neck, and fell asleep.

Ronan's growling stomach woke him—or was it hers? She blushed a smile. “I could eat some
petit
déjeuner.
”

“Aye. Breakfast. I imagine we're both starved with nay supper last night. Rest a few minutes and give me time to get dressed.” He kissed her forehead before rolling out of bed. He strode to the big room and snatched their dried laundry off hangers stuck here and there on doorknobs and hanging from nails in the rafters. He slipped into boxers and jeans, leaving the top button open. Within a few minutes, he had all their laundry folded. “Yer clothes are dry, Beauty. Ye can shower while I make breakfast.”

She approached him, stared into his eyes, and wrapped her hands around his biceps. “I prefer asking questions straight-out. On the job, I often had to be circuitous or sneaky in how I worded an inquiry. Office politics, you know. I refuse to be that way with you.”

What was she getting at? “I'm glad ye feel that way with me. Honesty is important between a couple. Ask me what ye wish to ken.”

“Did one of your condoms break last night? I'm sticky this morning.” A pink blush washed across her cheeks and she couldna look him in the eyes any longer.

He cupped her warm cheeks and gave her a quick kiss. “It wasna as full as I expected. I just contributed it to sleeping in it and some had seeped out. I dinna think 'tis anything to worry about. Why dinna ye take a shower while I make omelets. Ye seemed to enjoy them the other morning, luv.”

She slid her palms up his abs and pecs. “But what if the rubber had a defect, a little hole in it. The last thing we both want is a baby. You've told me yourself you didn't want to have children.”

“Aye. So I did.” Over the last few days, hours, moments, his long-held beliefs had somehow changed. Hadna they? He was a bit confused about the bairn issue. One moment, he never wanted them; the next, he wanted to see his Beauty grow big with his bairn.

She chose clean clothes from the piles he'd folded and placed on the edge of the counter before facing him again. “Look, I have no clue what my future holds. Our lives don't need the added complication of an unwanted pregnancy.” Scooping her clothes in one arm, she entered the bathroom.

Meanwhile, something akin to seething anger seeped through Ronan's veins. The unexpected images of his broad hands feeling his bairn move inside her, of walking the floor at night holding a fussy bairn, and of playing on the floor with it until he or she giggled, suddenly held great importance. “Bairns,” he whispered, more in a state of shock than anything else.

Did he want some of his own? He glanced at the closed bathroom door, the water running beyond it. Yes, to his surprise, he wanted bairns with Anisa, but not with another woman. He ran his fingers through his hair. Did that even make a lick of sense?

Was Brother Bear right? Had Ronan been hanging on to the fear of that damnable ancient curse even though Paisley's marrying Creighton had obliterated it? Was Ronan a grown man clinging to childhood fears?

Are ye pondering having bairns now?

“As surprising as it sounds, Brother Bear, I actually think I am. What in the bloody hell has changed me mind?”

Our Beauty. She's one of a kind, she is. Think of the strong, spunky bairns she'd birth.

Ronan opened the refrigerator and removed a dozen eggs. A smile of wistfulness creased his face. “Aye. Ye are right.”

Then ye willna get pissed I put a hole in each one of the condoms with a needle. I did it when I snuck out of yer body and ate the chicken. So, 'twas a good thing I did. Right?

The dozen eggs hit the floor.

When Anisa stepped out of the bathroom, freshly showered and hair dried, Ronan was stirring oatmeal and cooking sausages. “What happened to the omelets?”

“We were lower on eggs than I thought. Besides, oatmeal will stick to your ribs.” He clumped a couple spoonfuls into each bowl. “Eat up.” He dipped his head toward the food.

What was wrong with him? He sounded pissed. His body language displayed a man struggling with something. “Ronan? What's wrong?” She reached to touch his arm and he jerked away.

She folded her arms and glared at him. “I'm only going to ask you one more time. What has you in such a go-to-hell mood? Why are you mad at me?”

“I'm nay angry with ye. I'm just thinking maybe we rushed into sex and used rubbers that were'na the best quality. Maybe one, or more, did have a defect. If you dinna want to have me bairn, then we should stop.”

“Stop?”

“Aye.” He started washing the pan and avoided eye contact with her.

“So, is this how a Scotsman behaves? He screws a woman several times until he gets his needs slaked? Tells her all the romantic lines he thinks she needs to hear so he can have what he wants? And when he's had enough, he pushes her away? Does the word ‘asshole' ring a bell in that hard head of yours?” She held a fist under his chin. “Or would you rather try ‘liar' on for size?”

She grabbed one of Cook Edweena's homemade rolls and tore it apart, shoving a bite in her mouth between curses and opinions of his behavior. “What a fool I was to believe a word that tumbled out of your mouth, especially when you were naked.”

He grabbed her arms and pinned her against the door to the bathroom. “Would ye quit jumping to conclusions?” His eyes were wide and a muscle bunched in his jaw. “Ye said yerself the last thing ye needed was a pregnancy. As for me feelings about having a bairn, with ye, I'd welcome it. I'm only trying to protect ye from a condition ye dinna want.”

“Then why are you so angry?”

He leaned his forehead against hers. “Beauty, do ye think 'twould be easy for me to leave ye alone now that we've mated? We didna just make love; we mated. I doubt I'll ever get me fill of ye. I'll be ninety and still chasin' ye around on me walker. I'm mad at the circumstances, that's all.” He enveloped her in his arms and leaned into her.
“Frenchy.”
His lips covered hers and he kissed her until her legs turned to jelly.

She slipped out of his hold and moved to the edge of the bar where he had place settings ready. What he said made sense, but she didn't like it one bit. Had he only used her? Were his promises lies? Or was he being honest in his plan to keep her from getting pregnant?

“Ye've been trapped in the cabin fer a few days now. I dinna suppose ye want to go outside fer a wee snowball battle to get yer pretty French arse beaten by a Scot?”

“Why not? You've beaten my heart.”

“Dinna, luv. I'm only thinking of ye. The last person I wanna hurt is me woman.”

“You've got me so confused, Ronan. Some exercise would help me work it off.” Thrilled with the idea of having some fun in the snow, to say nothing of fresh air, she gulped down the tasteless gruel. “Oh, as if you could beat me, buster. Can we build forts first?”

He gathered their empty plates. “If ye like and ye think ye have the energy to build a fort
and
throw a coupleof snowballs.” He stood and stretched, touching the ceiling with his fingertips. “I ken how the weaker sex is.” A sexy-as-hell grin spread. “Especially after several rounds of lovemaking.”

She raced to the hearth, grabbed her boots, and slipped them on. The big guy was egging her on; teasing her and she knew it, but beating his Scottish ass would be so much fun. “Shoot. I don't have a coat or hat or gloves. I'll freeze out there.”

“Why didna ye pack heavier clothing? A coat at least.”

“I knew I'd have my flight suit until I could get to a store. I never gave wading through a bog and ruining my insulated suit a thought.” Her gaze darted to his coat hanging on the peg. She made a side step. So did he. They charged for the jacket at the same time, pushing, elbowing, stepping on toes, laughing, and calling names. Their antics ended with both of them having an arm in each of the sleeves. Only Ronan's arm fit. The sleeve on Anisa's short arm had at least a six-inch overhang.

They leaned their sides against the door, breathing heavily and laughing. She pressed her body against his and batted her eyes. “I'll freeze with no coat.”

He cupped the back of her head, pivoted her back against the door, and leaned so his lips were a fraction away from hers. “I see how ye work. If ye canna win, ye charm yer opponent with the flutter of yer eyelashes. Ye tempt him with yer body.”

She took two deep breaths, resisting the urge to belt him in retaliation for the slap to her ego his remarks held. The fun the day promised just minutes earlier melted like the snow would eventually.

A long time ago, she'd learned to feign calmness, and she did so again.

“You would say that to me after I'd told you how I'd been sexually harassed at work? How I'd been tortured?” She eased her arm from the coat. “You're right, of course. Men always are. I was using my fabulous feminine wiles on you because that's the only way a stupid member of the weaker sex can ever win anything.” She spat the words as if they were weapons.

He held his hands out in a stop gesture. “I didna mean it that way. I ken ye are'na weak. I meant no disrespect for I loev how ye bat yer eyes at me.”

She should probably tell him the only other man she'd ever done it for was her grandfather when she was a little girl and wanted ice cream, but she was too proud and pissed to share. “I'll meet you outside after you get bundled up. I'll be fine the way I am and you better bet I'll beat your sorry ass.” She shoved him aside enough to get out the door and stomp down the steps. A gust of wind whipped at her hair and chilled her face and neck.

Holy hell, it's cold out here. But damn if I'll let him know. I've been tortured through more things than he can ever dream of. I can take this. I can take anything…but his rejection.