Bearly Passing: Saylor and Ryan (6 page)

Jasmine typed some more, throwing a furtive glance over her shoulder. Then, with a triumphant click she turned the computer screen towards Saylor. Ryan's home address was on the screen.

"You're a genius!" Saylor squealed, shushed by the head librarian for being too loud.

"Let me write it down for you," Jasmine said, cheeks pink with pride. She ripped a piece of notebook paper and scribbled down the address. She slid the paper and her car keys over the desk.

"Here," she said, "take my car. I'll walk home. His house is a little out of the way. Just promise me you'll have my car back Sunday night."

"He might not even be there," said Saylor, taking the items.

"You'll never know until you try," said Jasmine, patting her hand for good luck. "Now go! My supervisor is coming over! I don't want to get in trouble."

"Thank you, Jas," Saylor said.

"Go!" Jasmine waved her out. "My car is parked in the back row, by the street light."

R
yan's house was small. A log cabin in the woods, far off the road, surrounded by trees. The road was so small Saylor drove past it three times. She parked off to the side, in a patch of grass by some trees. The trail was so narrow she was dreading turning around.

She got out of the car, not caring that the car door slammed a bit louder than she would have liked. So what? Ryan might not even be in here.

The mature trees surrounding his house looked worn. She took note of the claw marks around the bases of the trees. They were fresh. She remembered the roar from last night, the frustration Ryan felt when they parted ways. He must have come back here and scratched out his frustration. The bear won control.

Saylor stood in front of the door, building up the courage to knock. He might not even be here. This could be a mistake but it might be a mistake that no one knows about. Breathing deeply, Saylor reached up and knocked three times.

The door swung open.

Ryan stood before her, disheveled. His normal bed head was crazy, sticking up in points all over. His stubble had grown into a short beard already, he hadn't bothered to shave. His eyes were rimmed with red, exhaustion, he hadn't slept much either. He wore a pair of worn jeans and a white undershirt. Still, Saylor's breath caught when she saw him. This was her man.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, his voice was hoarse. She wondered if growling affected him just like screaming would.

"I came here to beg you not to leave," she said. Saylor wanted to step forward, pull Ryan into a hug. She wanted to smooth his hair, tuck him into bed, help him go back to sleep. He didn't deserve a life like this.

"I can't stay here," Ryan said.

"Have you heard from the administration?" Saylor asked. "Have they asked you to leave?"

Ryan shook his head. "Not yet, they will probably tell me in person."

"So you're running from something rather than facing your problems?" Saylor asked. She was annoyed! He didn't come to class today because he didn't want to come to class. He didn't know yet if anything had gone wrong.

"You don't understand," Ryan said, leaning heavily on the doorframe.

"Don't talk to me like I am a child," said Saylor. "I understand that you are afraid. I don't understand why you would be so willing to give up the life that you built for yourself."

"What do you know about building a life?" Ryan asked, his voice hard.

"I don't know as much as you," Saylor said, "but I know that I am here. I am trying for you. Because... because I love you Ryan. I don't think I can bear to look at a life without you."

Ryan looked away.

"You don't love me," he said. "You're just a girl with a crush."

Saylor fumed. She reached forward, grabbed the back of his neck, and yanked his lips to hers. The kiss was raw, angry. He fought her for dominance, biting and pressing hard. She met him, wrapping her tongue around his, biting his lower lips, pulling his hair, burying her fingers in the fabric of his shirt. They pulled apart, breathing heavily. Ryan's lips were swollen from Saylor's teeth.

"I do love you," said Saylor, summoning all her courage, "and I think you might love me too. We will be okay. I will help you with this."

She reached for his hand, intertwining their fingers.

"You need to remember what your mom said," Saylor continued. "You need to look up at the stars and remember that you are destined to be here just like anyone else. You are just as worthy as any human. You can weather anything, you just need to be strong."

Ryan dropped her hand.

"That's all bullshit," he yelled. Saylor took a step back. "Everyone is afraid of me. You don't know who I am really am when I am this upset, you just think I am the brainy professor. I am not going to stay here just to indulge your teacher fetish."

"It's not a fetish," Saylor said. Tears pricked at her eyes again, she had cried enough this week to last a life time. "I want to be with you."

"I am not going to ruin your life by attaching you to my shifter drama. And I am not going to be with someone who can't understand who I truly am, who might be afraid of me in my animal form."

"I'm never afraid of you," said Saylor. "You aren't going to ruin my life, you make it better. I am happy with you, safe."

Ryan looked at her, his eyes were sad, full of regret.

"I love you too," he admitted, "but I understand why people are afraid of me. I have to leave."

"I don't understand!" Saylor yelled. She surprised herself by the ferocity in her voice. "I don't understand why you are just going to stop fighting. I don't understand why you think it's okay that people are afraid of you. I don't understand anything! Stop running, stay with me."

Ryan turned back to her with a roar.

"I'll show you why people are afraid of me!" He said.

He shifted, harder and faster than he had last night. His body changed in an instant. She watched as his muscles and bones rearranged themselves, created an entirely new beast where the love of her life once stood. 

The bear was angry. It roared as soon as Ryan stood fully transformed. The teeth caught the setting afternoon run, shining like knives. Saylor's hair blew back from the angry breath. She did not move.

The bear stood back on its hind legs, so tall it almost hit the ceiling. It roared again, showing the large claws on its big paws. Big enough to snap her neck in a single blow. She could see all the muscles pulsating beneath his coat. He snarled again. She did not move.

"I am not afraid of you," said Saylor, looking Ryan in the eye. "You are doing everything you can to frighten me away so you can prove that I don't love you. You want to prove that we never had a future so you feel better about leaving. I am not going to let you do that."

The bear snarled again and faked a swipe at her head. Saylor glanced at the paw with disinterest.

"You aren't going to hurt me," she said, "you would never hurt me."

The tears were pooling in her lashes now, threatening to tumble down at any moment.

"You are kind," Saylor said, reaching forward and putting her hand on his paw. The pads were thick, rough. "You are a smart and gentle man. You're funny, you make me laugh, you make me feel safe. I am not going to let you walk away from this relationship because you are afraid."

She took a stepped toward the bear and wrapped her arms around him, burying her face in the fur on its chest.

"If you want to leave me because you don't want me," she said, listening to the bear's heartbeat slow down, "that's fine. But it you want me and you think you can see a future with me, don't leave because you are scared. I will help you. I don't mind if you ultimately decide to leave the university, that is your choice, but I am going to come with you. If you have me."

The bear lowered itself back on to all four legs. She took its head in her hands and pressed their faces together, nose to nose.

"I love you," she said, "and I am not afraid."

T
he bear shifted, furry face becoming the man that she knew so well. The man she grew to lust after in class and the one she grew to love on a cool beach one spring night. He stood before her, his chest rising and falling with emotion.

They embraced, Saylor pressed her face to his bare chest.

"I like you better this way," she said, voice muffled against him, "but I love you no matter what."

He leaned down, took her chin in his hand, and kissed her. The kiss was deep, and she wrapped her arms around his neck to keep upright. His lips were a little rougher, chapped from the long night before, but the embrace was just as passionate as it had been. Saylor felt Ryan's erection press against her belly and his heartbeat quicken in his chest.

"I want you," he whispered against her lips, running a hand through her hair.

"I want you too," she said.

"Have you," he asked, "ever had sex before."

Saylor batted her eyelashes, looking up through him in her best impression of a kitten. "I have never felt the touch of a man before, mister. Are you going to show me how to be a woman?"

Ryan flushed and stumbled over his words. Saylor broke out into a peal of laughter.

"Of course I have had sex before!" She said. "Not good sex, but sex enough. Your face when you thought I was a virgin though, it was almost like you were into it."

Ryan laughed and swept Saylor into his arms. She screeched as he lifted her. It was so easy for him, he smiled at her and brought her into the cabin like he was carrying in the mail. She reached around, pulling him into a kiss as he carried her through the cabin and into the back bedroom.

The only pieces of furniture in the room were a King bed in a log frame and a small desk to the side.
This place needs a woman's touch,
thought Saylor,
It's a good thing I am here now.

Ryan threw Saylor back on the bed. She bounced and laughed as the covers and pillows were all mussed. Ryan jumped in after her, nuzzling her face with his newly sprouted beard. She giggled as the rough hairs scratched at her face.

"We are getting you naked," Ryan said, pulling at her shirt, "so I am not the only one caught with his pants down."

Saylor kissed him while he unbuttoned her jeans, wiggling out of her pants as he pulled them down. The shirt came next, tossed carelessly to the side. She lay before him in only a cotton bra and panties. He grinned down at her hungrily.

"I'm going to eat you up," he said.

The tone of his voice made her nipples harden and wetness rush to fill the space between her legs. She was ready.

Ryan brought his mouth down along her collarbone, sucking her flesh into his mouth and running his tongue over her sensitive skin. Her hips were already moving with desire, recalling his fingers inside her, filling her and stretching her. He traced his tongue over her, leaving goosebumps in her wake. She tangled her fingers in his hair.

While he nibbled on the place where her neck and shoulder met, a hand snaked behind her back and undid the clasp on her bra. Victoriously, Ryan removed her undergarment, throwing it on to the floor to join her shirt.

Her nipples were hard, sharp points under his inspection. Ryan kissed down her neck and found her breast, swirling his tongue around her darker flesh and slipping a nipple into the wet cave of his mouth. Saylor groaned. Encourage, Ryan nipped at her, gently, eliciting gasps of pleasure from his woman.

His played with her other breast, kneading the skin and tweaking the nipple in time with every swirl of his tongue and scrape of his teeth. She breathed heavily, focusing on the pleasure exploding from her nipples and coursing out to other parts of her body. 

"More," Saylor begged, gasping as Ryan bit down on her breast.

"What do you want?" He asked. "I want this to be better than you first time. I want you to be satisfied."

"Just," Saylor moaned as he rubbed her breast, "touch me."

Ryan grinned and removed his hand from her breast. Kissing her, he raked his hand over her body, down her stomach, over her round thighs, and between her legs. He cupped her, testing the wetness there with one finger. She bucked, begging for his touch.

Ryan slipped his fingers into her pussy, parting the lips and entering her. He stroked her clit, teasing her and leading her to the edge of pleasure. He circled her entrance before slipping a finger inside her. Saylor sucked in her breath with delight as she felt him fill her.

Ryan explored her wetness, curving his fingers up to explore her walls. Then he added a second finger, all while his thumb circled and pressed down on her clit. He teased her, pulling back when she felt sure that it was all over, then speeding up just when she had control again.

"Fuck me," Saylor begged.

Ryan kissed her and said, "I am not going to fuck you, I am going to make love to you."

He moved his mouth down her body, leaving languorous kisses over her hot flesh. Everywhere he touched her burned like it was on fire. She was so hot, she needed relief. He was kissing her thighs when she realized what was about to happen.

"Oh my god," she moaned.

Ryan slipped his head between her legs, stroking her pussy with a lazy tongue.

"Oh my goooooddddd," she moaned.

His tongue circled her clit before darting down. He stroked her outer lips, taking them into his mouth, engulfing them with his warmth and setting all her nerves on edge. He teased at her entrance before plunging into her, tasting her juices and licking at her walls. Saylor moved her hips to meet him, overcome with the pleasure that rocketed through her body.

He left biting kisses on her inner thighs, teasing her flesh and making her cry out. Then he dove back in, teasing up her lips, darting his tongue in and out of her opening. Then, to her great delight, focusing on her clit. He took the bundle of nerves into his mouth, sweeping his tongue over the sensitive head. She cried out, her lower body nearly on fire. She needed him.

He laughed, vibrations moving through her body, causing her pussy to contract with longing. She wanted to be filled, she wanted to have him inside her, to be closer to him than she had ever been to anyone. He sucked on her clit, circling the base with his tongue, then pressing down on it. She was so close.