Beast Machine (9 page)

Chairman Obelis would often
tell Jeffrey that the “Teach a Man to Fish” quote was a load of
horseshit and fooled even the smartest men into thinking that they
could help everyone, simply by providing options of education,
food, shelter, money, and so forth.

“
Now Jeffrey, humans have
dominated this planet because of our minds and our ability to use
tools – complex tools. We have moved past needing to be full of
brawn, testosterone and animalistic instincts. We need to use our
minds to create new tools that our minds will use to further our
knowledge. We need to create tools that will help the masses in
deciding what to do. As I’ve always told you, the masses are
significantly ignorant on nearly all technological advances and
human history, among other topics.

“
They know how to eat,
shit, drive their cars, do menial work, watch television and
produce equally stupid spawns of themselves; what the hell are they
doing to help mankind? Adding more mouth breathers to the gene
pool? We can’t help them merely with education, we can’t help them
by providing healthcare and there’s no way we can help them if we
give them more money to spend on God knows what. They’re entirely
incapable of thinking critically and thinking about the bigger
picture! Humans and their governments have effectively neutered the
population to the point that they’re just skinbags, mouth-breathers
and pseudo-intellectuals repeating political, religious or academic
rhetoric that they don’t even understand!

“
We need to be able to
control – erm,
guide
the masses that can’t help control themselves, then after a
few generations I am hopeful that with the decisions
we
make for them that they
will become autonomous and not hamper mankind’s progress. I hate
calling my fellow man ‘mouth-breathers’ because I love humanity,
but the mouth-breathers need to be bred out of humanity otherwise
we’ll all be mouth-breathers in a few short decades or
less.”

-----

Jeffrey had always been
quite glad that he was selected as Chairman Obelis’s assistant out
of over five hundred thousand applicants, but, unknown to Jeffrey,
was merely selected for his lack of any close family members, and
his handful of degrees in quantum computer science didn’t hurt his
chance either.

He was offered an
incredible salary from Chairman Obelis right after their meeting
together, a mere three years ago. Jeffrey was becoming the biggest
asset Chairman Obelis ever had, and ever needed. Not to mention
that Jeffrey fully believed in what Chairman Obelis wanted to do.
“Few men want to achieve greatness
for
humanity,” thought Jeffrey. “What
better person is there to work for?”

Jeffrey continued his
thoughts, “Chairman Obelis was on the frontlines doing whatever was
necessary! Chairman Obelis stayed in the huts with the Fulani tribe
in West Africa to see how badly insects were destroying their crops
and children, he braved the arctic temperatures in Nunavut with
Inuit tribes trying to hunt down whales for sustenance, and he
slept on the ground of woman’s shelter in Chicago for a week
guarding the shelter to show the women that they were worth
something to someone. All without a film crew or press release.
Chairman Obelis just did what he felt was necessary to help others
get through a night.”

“
Are they on their way,
Jeffrey?” shouted Chairman Obelis as he was still slowly rotating
and pointing, rotating and pointing, rotating and pointing. Jeffrey
was sure we was soon about to hear
beeps
and
boops
coming out of his boss’
mouth.

“
Yes, sir! They’re on their
way as quickly as they can get here!” replied Jeffrey. “There’s
also two architects with vast amounts of knowledge on modern
architecture! One is a relative of Frank Lloyd Wright!”

“
Excellent! Excellent!”
shouted Chairman Obelis. “Come join me and enjoy the sights while
we wait!”

“
The sights weren’t
that
enjoyable,” thought
Jeffrey.

“
Of course!” said Jeffrey.
He jogged over to Chairman Obelis like a dog that hadn’t seen his
owner in weeks, a stupidly-happy smile covering his entire face.
Jeffrey was only an inch or two shorter than Chairman Obelis, but
he had short dirty blonde hair that contrasted Chairman Obelis’
short, curly black hair.

“
Remember what I told you
about that silly “Teach a Man to Fish” quote, right?”

“
Load of
horseshit.”

“
Yep! It’s complete
horseshit, Jeffrey. Always remember that.”

Jeffrey put his arm around
Chairman Obelis and Chairman Obelis put his arm around Jeffrey as
they stared at the abandoned mining facility that will soon become
their operation hub and the facility where the majority of their
experiments will take place.

“
Do you believe what you’re
trying to do will actually work?” inquired Jeffrey.

Chairman Obelis removed his
arm from Jeffrey and heavily pondered the question Jeffrey asked.
Chairman Obelis knew it would be a difficult task even with his
wealth, intelligence and overwhelming determination.

“
I believe that as long as
I am alive, there is a substantial chance that this will work and
that we can save humanity from itself,” said Chairman Obelis. “I
have done so many things in my life, but, Jeffrey, this means the
absolute most to me! How many men can say that their work directly
affected humanity?”

Chairman Obelis began to
pace. “It can’t be much more than the fingers on our hands,
Jeffrey. I want this to be
my
mark on humanity. I desperately want to save
humanity so my mark can be remembered. This may be a sneaky
approach to helping humanity, but we need to get dirty to help
everyone get better.”

“
But, sir, in all due
respect, you have made numerous and incredible marks on humanity!
There are so many people alive, and educated, because of your
generosity! What more do you have to gain?”

A hefty voice bellowed from
the nearby SUV, “He wants complete control and power – it is what
every man wants that already has everything.” A short, brown man
walked towards the pair. His weight made his white lab coat unable
to close; the coat made noises as he walked since it brushed
against his belly.
Whoosh, whish, whoosh,
whish.

Stitched into his white
coat with red thread was the name “Dr. Takeo Silva.”

Chapter 9

Dirty, Smelly
Business

“I am quite pleased for you
to join the campaign, Doctor Silva. We needed a man like you at our
side,” said Chairman Obelis as he handed a martini glass to Doctor
Silva. Chairman Obelis took a quick whiff of his own martini. “It
adds an aura of sophisticated, thorough science to the campaign. I
appreciate your presence greatly.”

“
It’s truly an honor, sir,”
smiled Silva. Silva and Chairman Obelis clanked their glasses
together and laughed, like they were best friends reuniting for the
first time in decades. The olives lightly bounced around in each
glass. “This is the good stuff. I haven’t had a martini this good
since Chelsey was alive.”

“
Who’s Chelsey?” asked
Chairman Obelis. Of course, Chairman Obelis already knew that
Chelsey Donovan was Silva’s former lover and that she had died, but
information regarding her life was scant. She was a nobody with a
nobody job that the world was ready to forget, aside from Silva.
“Was she important to you?”

“
Chelsey was my,” he paused
to sip from his martini glass to gather confidence, “Chelsey was my
lover, my muse and – most importantly – my dearest friend.” A tear
dropped from Silva’ left eye. “She inspired me to continue to
pursue the cure for feline AIDS, as I was hesitant to harm any
animals in the process – which was quite necessary for a cure.”
Silva’s white lab coat had become stuck behind him in the chair and
his shirt began to rise slowly. His impressive belly was revealed.
He could set his martini glass on it if he wished it was so
large.

“
She’d tell me, ‘The lives
of the many outweigh the lives of the few, my dear Takeo.’ Each
animal life meant the world to me, and it meant the world to
Chelsey too! At the time at least it did…” Chairman Obelis yawned
loudly but Silva paid no mind. “She just kept telling me, ‘Takeo,
these animals will not be sacrificed in vain! They will be the
reason that cats can be free of feline AIDS. Their lives will have
purpose.’ So I finally gave in and began the rigorous testing which
required injecting the feline AIDS into hundreds of test subjects.
Not to mention I had to remove enzymes and tissue from another
hundred or so healthy test subjects. Cats, kittens and other, um,
mammals … but I won’t bore you with those details, sir,” Silva
finished his martini in a final gulp.

He removed a stained
handkerchief from back pocket, dabbed his tears and placed the
handkerchief back in the back pocket. Chairman Obelis was appalled
by the use of handkerchief – not because of germs – but because it
was quite out of style to actually
use
a handkerchief. However, Chairman
Obelis marveled at the fat felinologist’s flexibility whilst
retrieving the handkerchief.

“
That’s interesting,” asked
Chairman Obelis. “It takes courage to make the necessary sacrifices
for the greater good.” Chairman Obelis smiled sympathetically at
Silva. Chairman Obelis didn’t want this portly man to keep
blubbering, but pressed on to gain more information, “What happened
to Chelsey, if I may ask?”

“
She died from an
experimental item, The Muscle Expander, I believe it was called,”
continued Silva. “This young bitch, Gloria or something like that,
invented this Muscle Expander in hopes of becoming the next big
thing in science, and retail. The dumb bitch forgot to test the
item on anything!” Silva laughed sadly then sniffled loudly. “What
sort of idiot doesn’t test their invention?”

“
Right,” said Chairman
Obelis. He stood up and walked to the bar. It was an unspectacular
bar made out of wood that had small white flecks on it and bricks
that were chipped, broken and uneven. The bar was out of place in
the room that held an elegant 19th century chandelier, a fanciful
Moroccan style rug, and an alabaster lamp.

Chairman Obelis made Silva
another martini, much stronger than the last. He wanted Silva to
relax his body and his mind, in hopes that he would be in an
agreeing mood. To Chairman Obelis’ dismay, Silva kept reminiscing
about his dead lover – a boring endeavor to Chairman
Obelis.

“
Chelsey had always wanted
a fit, taut body… I had always told her that her body was already
immaculate – it truly was – and that any improvements were
unnecessary to her perfect physique. Alas, she bought this untested
contraption in hopes of reaching her unreasonable goal.

She had always tried to buy
untested body improvement things from China, Russia and Oman, but
those people, thankfully, never would send her packages after
getting the money. But this Muscle Expander woman, she sent Chelsey
the device in less than a week!” Silva gulped down the second
martini. “One blown biceps, an exploded glute, and a ruptured
pectoral that damaged her lungs, heart and countless blood vessels.
She was dead for hours before I got home from my final test run of
the cure for feline AIDS.” Silva grabbed his handkerchief and wiped
his eyes again, and then used the handkerchief to blow his now
runny nose.

“
It was found that she had
taken oxycodone and acetaminophen before employing the Muscle
Expander on her wonderful body. The coroner was unclear of what
specifically caused her death, but that device … that damned device
was what caused it!” Silva set the martini glass on his impressive
belly and raised his fist in anger. He rocked his fist back and
forth a few times before Chairman Obelis interrupted
him.

“
I’m terribly sorry to hear
about that tragic loss,” Chairman Obelis repeated his plastic
sympathetic smile to Silva. “Life is fleeting, and so it
goes.”

“
Yes,” said Silva, “But now
is time to forget the past and begin fixing the future. On to the
politics!” Silva was truly ready to put Chelsey’s death in the past
and press forwards. Tragically, he was about to take two steps back
in his life.

“
I’m afraid, Doctor Silva,
that your job for the campaign actually has absolutely nothing to
do with politics,” stated Jeffrey as he walked into the room from a
door next to the bar. Jeffrey held an unsealed brown envelope with
important paperwork inside. Silva stared at Jeffrey in
befuddlement. His martini glass stayed perfectly still on his fat
belly.

“
Inside this envelope is
the information I –
ahem
– excuse me, we believe that will be necessary to
create some sort of mass controlling mechanism – for the greater
good of course! We cannot stress that this is for progress! This is
for humanity!” Jeffrey motioned for Silva to open the envelope. “I
will be helping you as much as I can, but I don’t have quite the
knowledge on this sort of project as you do.”

Silva, still befuddled,
opened the envelope. He quickly read through the introduction page.
“What you are asking isn’t feasible…,” whispered Silva as he began
to rub his temples while looking through the paperwork. “It isn’t
possible!”