Beastly Desires (17 page)
“I have clothes here too,” her son volunteered. “When Uncle Naresh threw the sleepover we went shopping and got all kinds of stuff.”
Wait… Uncle?
“Really?”
“Yup!” Callum chirped, shaking about like a small ball of energy. “We loaded down with all
kinds
of junk and movies and games and—”
“
If
¹
,” Kamali interrupted, chuckling. “You can tell me all about the extravagance of your sleepover later.” His excitement stemmed from a lack of this type of fun. Her baby never knew the pleasures of junk food and pillow fights because she’d neglected to allow it, too concerned with pleasing Enilo. If there was anyone to blame here, Kamali would be on the receiving end of that finger. She’d be the one to take the responsibility because she hadn’t fought her father nearly as hard as she should have when it came to Callum. There were some things she just chose not to speak on, some things she simply allowed, believing it would better Callum’s future, that it would better her relationship with her father. Admitting she was wrong on both counts wasn’t what hurt—it was that her son was caught between a rock and a hard place, and he was clinging to the foreign comforts Kaisal’s pride had provided. Comforts
she
should have provided. Watching him simply get to be a child…
She inhaled sharply. “Right now I need to talk to you.”
His head tilted, and the gesture was eerily similar to that of Kaisal. “About what?”
That intent stare made her stumble over her words. “I um…well, Kaisal and I…we’ve decided to…”
Why was this so hard?
Footfalls came through loud and clear, the heavy steps identifying themselves as belonging to her mate. He filled the bathroom doorway and smiled down at Callum. “Ah, the young one has been scrubbed of his manly odor.”
Callum made a face. “
Iya
said it was necessary because my stench offended her.”
A laugh rumbled up from Kaisal. “You look like your mother when you do that.” His gaze became curious as he moved it to Kamali. “And your mother looks disturbed. Any particular reason why?”
The cub shrugged. “No idea but she said she needed to talk to me.”
“Did she now?” His stare turned knowing. “About?”
“Hasn’t said yet.”
“Hmm…”
Kamali rolled her eyes. “I was getting to it.”
“Without me?” Kaisal asked.
“No,” she retorted, standing from the rim of the tub. “I was going to ease him into it then announce it
with
you.”
“Announce what?” Callum questioned. Then he stopped and sniffed a few times. His eyes narrowed as Kamali stilled. After taking a step toward her, he inhaled then paused as his golden irises bounced between her and Kaisal. “
Iya,
your smell changed.”
“Err…”
He sniffed again and looked up at Kaisal. “Yours too, Kas.” His mind seemed to be working overtime to answer the multitude of questions that were so clearly building up inside of him. “You smell like…
each other.”
Callum smiled. “Have you been wrestling?”
Kaisal burst into laughter and Kamali covered her face with her hands.
“Why, yes, young prince,” the soon-to-be-dead tiger male crooned. “Yes, we have.”
“Oh, for Christ’s sake…”
“And someday, when you’re old enough, you’ll find a girl to wrestle with too. And the moment it happens, you won’t want to wrestle with anyone else because being pinned by her will be the most exceptional experience of your natural-born existence.”
“Kaisal…”
“What?” He raised his hands. “The child has questions, I’m attempting to answer them.”
“You’re
attempting
to make me commit murder in the first degree,” she growled.
“I don’t get it,” Callum stated, swiveling his head between them. “What’s the big deal about wrestling? I wrestled with other cubs all day yesterday.” His expression turned contemplative. “And we all enjoyed it. What’s wrong with enjoying wrestling?”
“
Olorun ran mi…”
Kamali breathed.
Callum frowned. “Why do you need God to help you,
Iya
?”
“Because Mama’s losing strength, baby.”
Kaisal snorted. “Cal, I think your mother’s trying to tell you that she and I marked one another, and that she’s concerned about whether or not you’ll be happy with her choice in a mate.”
She was going to kill him. She was going to kill him
now.
Confusion was written all over her child’s face. “
That’s
what this is about?”
“Yes,” Kaisal answered.
“You mean the two of you are mated?”
“Yes.”
“Which means we stay here forever?”
“Yes.”
The cub leered. “Which means I have unlimited access to cocoa?”
Kaisal looked seconds away from laughing again as he nodded. “If that’s what you want.”
Callum blinked, rolled his small shoulders nonchalantly, and stated, “Not really seeing the problem here.”
Kamali felt her lips part but no sound left.
“If we’re done,” Callum dryly declared, “I’d like to get dressed and go back outside with Uncle Naresh.”
Stepping aside, Kaisal waved a hand toward the hallway. “Off you go, young prince.”
The cub shot out the door.
Finally snapping out of her momentary state of disbelief, Kamali shouted after him, “No more dead birds!”
“I’ll make no promises!” Callum shouted back.
She scowled when a noise left Kaisal that distinctly sounded like a squeak, as if he were trying to hide his amusement.
“You. Say. Nothing.”
He tucked in his lips, blinking at her with the countenance of an angel and the lascivious eyes of the devil.
With her haughtiest expression, she announced, “This will not be discussed again.”
Kaisal only bowed and replied, “As you wish, princess.”
Sniffing disgustedly, she moved past him and started toward the kitchen, hearing him when he muttered, “Even the feline disdain makes me hard…”
***
They’d literally rummaged through the
country.
Almost every state, city, county. They’d crosschecked data bases, done image searches, looked through vehicle registries and still
nothing.
Aggravation was mounting, Nico was breathing down his neck, and the elders could only be held off for so long before the pride was under investigation. Every rock had been overturned and yet there was nothing beneath them. Rave needed to find Kamali and Callum and he needed to find them
now.
There was a knock at his office door.
“What?” he barked out, staring at the corkboard across from his desk, his eyes scanning for anything he might’ve missed.
One of the younger pride males by the name of Fal came in, a flash drive in his hand. “You told me to let you know if I found anything in the security footage from the Oriade Towers.”
He had a handful of those good with technology and tracking watching the hotels in case he was wrong and something
did
come up concerning Kamali. Perhaps that was proving to be beneficial.
Rave waved him forward. “And?”
The other man smirked. “There’s footage of the princess and her cub just outside the valet parking in Lakewood, Colorado.”
His brows drew downwards. “You’re sure?” He didn’t have time to chase gooses. Every day the opportunity to make things the way they once were between he and Nico slipped through Rave’s fingers.
Fal nodded. “Very. The shot was perfectly clear.”
Standing, Rave made his way around the desk and took the flash drive. “Is she staying there?”
“They never went inside.” He leaned toward Rave. “But there
is
something interesting about the footage.”
“What?”
“When she left, she didn’t leave alone. There’s about ten minutes of tape with her talking to a male who was driving a black Yukon with the license plate number KV-498. A quick cross reference brought me to his front door and you won’t
believe
who it was.”
Rave quirked a brow. “Try me.”
“Kaisal Verochka of the Verochka pride.” Fal’s voice dropped. “His father is old Taras. Large, Siberian and—”
“A retired hired killer,” Rave completed. Taras’ name wasn’t a light one, nor was that of his pride. Rave made it a point to know all his potential enemies, and if there was anyone to be concerned about, it was these tigers. It was rumored that Kaisal had followed in his father’s footsteps after leaving the military years ago but now lived a quiet life in the Southwest. While Nico’s small band of rogues weren’t popular among shifters and were rarely seen coming, this tiger,
this
pride, was equal parts respected and feared. “
Fuck.”
“No positive location on the princess yet but if we wanted answers, this would be the first place to look.”
Rave bit the inside of his cheek. “You tell
no
one what you found. Understand?”
Fal gave him a surprised glance. “Not even Nico?”
“
Especially
not Nico.” He nodded toward the door. “Get out.”
The whelp didn’t argue or question, just did as he was told. He reminded Rave of himself, reminded him of the placating nature he’d once held while dealing with his pride leader. Looking down at the small bit of information he now held in his palm made him realize the placating needed to stop. The silence needed to stop. And he needed to move.
Now.
“Just keep your eyes closed.”
“Statements like that from you worry me.”
“I thought we’d established trust between us.”
“There are levels of trust, Kaisal,” Kamali retorted, her hands over his large palms as they covered her sight and he led her through his home, walking slowly behind her. “I can trust that you’ll always be faithful to me but I can’t trust you’ll take the dishes out of the sink and load them into the washer like I’ve been asking you to for the last week.”
Cohabitation was one of the greatest tests to any relationship. Closet space, kitchen appliances, and sleeping with someone who wouldn’t close the window all the way at night because he needed cooler air! Then there was the music and the running and the snoring—
my God the snoring!—
and looking up just to find Basanti skulking around while Naresh leered from some remote part of whatever room she happened to be in at the time. Callum had adjusted quickly, without complaint, and seemed inordinately happy. When Kamali said inordinately she fucking
meant it.
The cub grinned all the time. He grinned so much that she considering spraying him with a hose full of blessed water just to see if any demonic spirits came tumbling out.
Registering him for elementary schools in the area would prove to be difficult considering his name could show up on public records and bring Nico right to Kaisal’s doorstep. No matter how many times he adamantly stated he could handle it, Kamali refused to put anyone at risk. Therefore an agreement would be made with one of the pride females who taught first grade. Callum would learn with her and a handful of the other cubs that were home schooled until they could change their circumstances. In the meantime he was a hairy bundle of energy who couldn’t seem to keep clean and had a sudden fascination with practicing his roar. He was, in essence, just like every other child, and Kamali took comfort in watching him slowly morph into his own person rather than a sculpted replica of what Enilo had wanted. It hadn’t taken much for Kaisal’s pride to change their lives. She just hoped that when she impacted theirs in return it would be for better rather than worse.
The quiet surrounding them didn’t comfort her as much as it should have. It made her anxious; it made her
wary.
Sometimes silence harmed; it cut. This particular dead space disturbed her. It felt as though something was lurking just in the shadows, waiting to make itself known. It raised the hairs on the back of her neck when she left pride territory and ventured out to grocery shop. It sent a chill up her spine when she and Kaisal took Callum ice-skating for the first time. It shallowed her breathing when they revisited the deli. Something was wrong—very,
very
wrong. But to mention it would be to shatter the illusion of peace they’d built. She didn’t want to lose the calm her mate radiated or the joy her son showed, so she muted her fears and chose to snatch whatever minutes of unobtrusive laughter she could. Kamali had no idea how long they would last.
Waking up next to the large, slightly insane, unequivocally ridiculous, surprisingly gentle tiger who had marked her as his own forever somewhat settled the rush of disquiet she’d begun to feel over the last few days. If he sensed something was wrong he never let on but then again, Kaisal wasn’t one for subtlety so it was a possibility he hadn’t noticed.
“Someone’s starting to sound like a nag…” said tiger sang in her ear.
She smirked. “Someone may be sleeping in his precious entertainment room tonight…”
They suddenly stopped moving, his chest nudging her back. “I love how you honestly believe you could sleep without me. I’d close the door and you would spend hours outside, pawing and mewing, waiting for it to open as you pined for the rumpled, sexy look I manage to pull off so effortlessly.”
“Tell me something, Kaisal, does your narcissism have anything to do with the fact that you want me to believe you’re as incredible as
you
believe you are?”
“
Mebbe…”
She squeezed his hands. “Well, you can stop.”
“Really?”
He sounded so hopeful. Kamali almost felt bad when she replied with, “Yes, because it only makes me want to stand over you while you’re asleep, wait for you to open your eyes, and then walk away, leaving you to wonder what I was doing.”
Kaisal chuckled. “God, you’re so
mean
.”
She hadn’t had a man call her that since she woke up next to Alfre the night after her conception heat had passed and literally threw him out of her room and into a wall before slamming the door behind him. Mortified wasn’t the right description. She hadn’t given a shit about what anyone else in the pride would think. However there was one individual whose approval she needed so badly that she’d stopped her artistry and started learning what the family businesses consisted of. Telling Enilo she was pregnant had possibly been one of the hardest moments of her life. Seeing the flash of disappointment in his gaze had shattered her. But even then he hadn’t done what she’d expected. His reaction had been indifferent, cold.
“You’ll raise him here the same way the other women do. He’ll take your name and not Alfre’s—I don’t want that taint following him. I wouldn’t call this one of your wisest decisions but it’s obvious you want to keep the child; otherwise you would’ve simply snuck off to stop the pregnancy. Be forewarned, Kamali, this won’t be like your fanciful ideals of a normal life, a normal career as a starving artist. You will have to fully commit and focus. You will have to be a parent. And from where I am seated right now, right this second, I can tell you it will be the hardest journey of your very privileged life…”
At the time she’d thought he was wrong, exaggerating to scare her into asking for his help. He hadn’t been wrong, and she’d asked for it anyway.
“I’m going to take my hands away,” Kaisal softly announced. “And I want you to be mystified by what you’re about to witness. After this, you shall want to worship me in all my superior glory because I am, in fact—”
“A few seconds away from being viciously mauled,” Kamali finished sweetly.
“
Rude
,” he muttered before lifting his hands.
Her lids slowly parted and… “Kaisal,” she breathed, walking into what had once been his and Callum’s favorite place in the house—his den.
“I’m not as oblivious as you may think, princess.” His steps echoed out on the now hardwood floors as he walked around. “You’re restless and this seemed to be the best solution. I moved my things to my new man cave: the garage. Dublhainn, Naresh, and Basanti helped but I’m taking all of the credit because you and I are in a relationship and these kinds of things earn me dirty sex points. Yes, I
am
keeping a tally on said points.”
Kamali exhaled. “You…you turned it into an
art studio
?” All his posters, pictures, plaques, and awards were gone. His entertainment hutch had been moved out along with the couches. The carpet had been stripped, and now the room had more open space. In their stead he’d placed rattan furniture complete with large lounging chairs and a coffee table along with thick rugs.
Several large, stained wood cabinets lined the back wall with labels of what they contained stenciled on each in different colored paints. One held easels, the other brushes and sketching paper along with pencils and other utensils, and the last held paints. In the middle of the room stood a drawing table complete with a light and a comfortable-looking executive’s chair. But what really caught her attention, what stopped her breath, was the soothing shade of mint green he’d painted over the walls, striping them in soft lavender, yellow, and pink before he’d put the name she used to paint under over them in a beautiful font—
Itanife.
“The story of love,” Kaisal whispered.
The backs of her eyes burned, and she had to close her lids to stop the rush of moisture. “How did you…?”
He neared her but didn’t touch her. “Callum. Every now and again he’ll switch languages, and I’ll find myself remembering the few things I used to know. The name itself…somehow suits you.”
She choked out a small laugh, wrapped her arms around herself. “It was my mother’s. Enilo lost his shit when he found out I was using it to sell my art.” Kamali waved a hand around. “He never understood this, never even
tried.
It was something he couldn’t control again. Something that was slipping through his fingers so he…” She drew in a deep breath. “He wanted it forgotten.” She opened her eyes and found Kaisal staring down at her. “It reminded him of her.
I
reminded him of her. He didn’t want that, he didn’t want any more reminders, any more memories and that’s what I was. He tried so hard to smother whatever he saw in me that brought her to mind.”
Kaisal reached out and swiped away moisture that had spilled onto her cheeks. “But it didn’t work, did it?”
Shaking her head, she gave him a watery smile. “I wouldn’t let it go. Even when I stopped selling my art and took up working with him I still drew, painted. It was the only time I’ve ever been unconcerned about what he thought of me, what he wanted. It was my escape and in some way, I wonder if it was my connection to her.” She held his hand to her face, rubbed up against the rough palm that had been a party to this beautiful gift. “We never talked about her. There were no late nights with home movies and pictures. I didn’t hear stories about what she was like at my age. It was as if she were a goddess that was simply swept away by history, her worshippers moving on and leaving no remnants of her behind. She was the taboo subject in our household because she broke his spirit. And seeing me every day, watching me grow to be like her, was salt on an open wound that wouldn’t heal.”
“He loved her,” he stated.
“Beyond comprehension,” Kamali added as she interlocked their fingers. “My father wasn’t a bad man just…a hard one. The moment my mother stepped onto the other side she took whatever ability he had to relate, to emote. He went through the motions, remained responsible, overprotective, controlling, and manipulative. There are times when I think I can hear his voice.
Gb
Í
si mi!
Listen to me!
Mo m
Í
ohun ti o dara fun aw
Í
n ti o j
¹
!
I know what is good for you!” She tried to laugh but it got stuck in her throat. “We all have a plan mapped out, an idea of what we want from life. And the gods have plans, plans that we have to interpret when we finally realize we don’t control the paths, we just choose which one to walk.”
Kaisal ran his thumb over her cheek, his irises full of an emotion she didn’t want to name as of yet. “And your path?”
Reservations, fear, and restlessness aside, she answered, “Has become a lot clearer.”
He stared at her intently for what seemed like forever. “Mine has also, but it wasn’t always that way.”
Her brows drew downward. “Meaning?”
Taking in a deep breath, Kaisal looked just over her shoulder. “After retiring from the Navy there were some things I did, things that changed my nature.” He brought his stare back to hers. “My relationship with my father is similar and yet so very different from what you had with Enilo. I followed in his footsteps and he
didn’t
want me to. Despite the fact that I was good at what I did, possibly one of the best. It tainted me.”
“Kaisal?” Kamali held fast to his hand when he tried to pull it away. “What
did
you do?”
He swallowed, avoided her eyes. “I was a contract killer for certain government types. It was steady work and always for the purpose of protecting sensitive information for both the human and supernatural worlds but it became less of a job and more of a…
career.
I enjoyed it too much, my
beast
enjoyed it too much, and sometimes I can still feel those compulsions seeping into—”
“Stop,” she commanded quietly.
His mouth closed and she reached up to smooth the lines from his brow. “The man I know—the one I’m currently staring at—is not an animal that can’t be controlled. The preconceived notion about strength in our community is that killing gives us power.” Kamali shook her head. “It’s the ability to
resist
those compulsions, those urges, which makes you one of the most compelling men I have
ever
encountered. You’re not tainted Kaisal, you’re
layered.
There is something in you that loves this side of your life entirely too much to ever go back to that place. I can see it in just the simplest gestures.” She waved a hand around. “A tainted man doesn’t do things like this. He doesn’t care as strongly as you do, and he definitely wouldn’t be able to keep me here
willingly
.” Her fingers trailed over the angles of his face.