Beau (Remington Ranch Book 4) (19 page)

She shot a quick smile at Corinne. “And if you ever build a house down there, we’ll be right there on your doorstep.”

Corinne wondered what she meant, but it made Beau smile and that was all that mattered to her.

“Awesome.”

Chance was watching him closely. He looked wary, almost as though he wondered if he was walking into some kind of trap. The tension in the air was tangible.

Beau stood up. “Stop looking at me like that, would you, guys? There are no surprises here. It’s what we all expected. It’s all good. And if you don’t mind, we were on our way to the park.”

Ruby stood up to join him. She held her arms up to him and he scooped her up. Corinne scrambled to follow them.

When Beau reached the door. Ruby waved over his shoulder. “Bye! We’re going to see the buffaloes!”

~ ~ ~

No one said anything for a few moments after they’d gone. Chance wasn’t sure what to think, or what to say. He’d always felt a little guilty that he would become a part owner of the ranch. If anything, he agreed with Beau. He didn’t feel he was entitled to a share, and certainly not an equal share.

Dave caught his eye. “Don’t you go feeling bad. This is my decision. You’re respecting my wishes.”

Chance shrugged. “I know, but it’s hard not to feel guilty about it.”

Mason shook his head. “What’s to feel guilty about? And besides, Beau just said he didn’t have a problem with it. I say we should just take him at his word and let it go. The big bust up we all feared doesn’t look like it’s going to happen.”

Shane smiled. “It might sound strange coming from me, but I’ve gotta say, I’m proud of him.”

“Me, too,” added Carter. “He’s changed so much just in the last few weeks. He’s never been as bad as he liked to make out, but just lately, he’s come a long way.”

Monique smiled. “And we all know why.”

Chance smiled. “Ruby’s got him wrapped around her little finger.”

“And Corinne does, too,” added Dave. “I’m relieved he’s okay with it, but even more than that, I’m happy for him.”

Everyone nodded their agreement. Chance looked around, grateful that he’d become a member of this family. He did have his own family back in California: his sister, Missy, and their dad. But he hadn’t thought of Summer Lake as home for years. Montana was his home, this was the place where he belonged, and these were his people.

Shane punched his arm. “I know the cabin is yours now, but can I still have a claim on my old room?”

Chance raised an eyebrow at him.

He laughed. “For the times when Princess here gets mad and kicks me out for the night.”

Everyone laughed.

Cassidy grinned at him. “I wouldn’t do it if I were you Chance. I might just send him back to you permanently.”

He smiled. “Uh-oh. Don’t drag me into this one guys?”

“Okay,” said Cassidy. “But remember, it was your friend here that dragged you in, and me that let you off the hook.”

Shane laughed. “Yeah, so remember who you have to suck up to!”

“Anyway,” Dave cut across the banter. “Is everyone happy? Anyone got any questions, comments, or reservations?”

Chance looked him in the eye. “My only reservation is about what you two are going to do. I think you should keep the cabin. I can bunk in with the hands. It wouldn’t feel right, me living in there while you guys find a place in town.”

Dave smiled at him. “You keep the cabin, Chance. It’s yours.” He took hold of Monique’s hand. “We’ve been given a perfect solution.”

Chance noticed that some of the others nodded, while some looked puzzled.

Monique smiled. “Beau has given us the cottage. As a gift.”

Chance grinned. That really was perfect. It made him happy; he’d hated the thought of Dave and Monique living away from the ranch.

“Wow!” said Cassidy. “He really has turned a corner, hasn’t he?”

Carter grinned. “He’s never been as bad as he made out. I’ve known about the cottage for ages. I was dying to see all your faces when you found out. I just wish he was here to see it.”

Whatever Beau’s reasons were, Chance was happy. He hoped this was the end of any tension between them. And the beginning of a new era.

Beau drove most of the way down the valley in silence. He was grateful that both Corinne and Ruby seemed to pick up on his need for quiet. He needed time to think. The day that he’d been dreading for months had come and gone. No big fuss, no big fight, no falling out, nothing. He’d expected to feel hurt and angry. But all he felt was relieved. So Chance was going to own a part of the ranch. What did it matter? It had never been about how much land they all got. It had been the principle that bothered him. He didn’t understand why his dad loved Chance as much as he loved Beau and his brothers. He wasn’t his flesh and blood. But what did it really matter?

They reached the entrance to the park and Beau handed his pass over to the ranger working the gate.

Ruby smiled and waved at him. “We’re going to see the buffaloes,” she told him.

The guy smiled. “There are plenty of them to see. And don’t forget to look out for the elk too. They’re hanging out by the Visitor Center at Mammoth.”

“Thanks,” said Beau. He really needed to wrestle his head around and get back to the present. He wanted to make sure Ruby and Corinne enjoyed this. It was the first time they’d come to the park and he wanted to make it a memorable visit.

He turned to smile at them. “What do you think, shall we get an ice cream first?”

“Yesss!” cried Ruby. “Yes, please,” she corrected herself as Corinne looked at her.

“Is that okay with you?”

Corinne smiled. “Sounds great. Are you okay?”

He nodded and reached for her hand. “I am. Sorry I’ve been quiet.”

“Don’t apologize. I understand. This morning was a big deal.”

“But it turned out not be.” He held her gaze, hoping that she might understand. “All this time, I’ve been making it a big deal in my head, but it didn’t have to be. So I didn’t make it one. And I‘ve got you to thank for that.”

“Me? How?”

“Remember what you told me about if you can’t change something? If you can’t make it better you just have to find a better way to look at it and move on? What you said really stuck with me. I couldn’t change the fact that my dad wanted Chance to have a share of the ranch. I’ve been hung up for so long on how it just wasn’t right. But then I realized, right or wrong, I couldn’t change it. So I had to find a better way to look at it and move on. It’s like you set me free by saying that. I decided to just look at it how it is. Chance was going to get a share whether I liked it or not. I decided to just accept it. I decided it’s more important to be close with my family than stand up against something I believed to be wrong. And in the process I discovered that I really don’t mind. It’s none of my business. And when I choose to look at it that way all the stress and tension is gone—for me and for everyone else.”

Corinne smiled. “I’m glad you feel that way. I’ve been worried about you. I thought you were accepting something that you were unhappy about. I’m glad that it doesn’t bother you.”

He nodded. “Me, too. Thank you.”

Once he’d parked the car they went inside the gift store and each got an ice cream. They ate them as they walked up the path toward Mammoth Hot Springs.

Ruby looked up at him, making him smile. She had sticky ice cream remains all around her mouth. “I like Chance.”

He realized that nothing they said went unheard by little ears. “So do I.”

“Do you? You said he was your friend, but you didn’t want to share with him.”

He thought about it. He nodded. Not sure what to say, or how to explain it. He figured it was probably best left alone.

Apparently Ruby didn’t. “I share with my friends.” She made a face at Corinne. “Even when I don’t want to, Mommy makes me sometimes. Because it’s kind.”

Beau smiled at Corinne. He hoped she didn’t think he was unkind because he hadn’t wanted to share with Chance.

“Why didn’t you want to share with him?”

He sighed, while he thought about how to explain it. “Because this wasn’t just sharing a toy. It was about dividing up our ranch.”

Ruby nodded. “But you didn’t mind sharing with Mr. Mason or Shane or Carter?”

“No, because they’re my brothers. I used to think it wasn’t right that my dad should treat Chance the same as the rest of us.”

“Because he isn’t Chance’s daddy?”

Beau nodded, hoping that was the end of it. “Look, can you see the elk over there?”

Ruby looked toward where he was pointing. She gave the slightest nod and then turned back to look up at him.

“You’re not my daddy.”

That stopped him in his tracks. He stared down at her, not sure where she was going with this. To his horror, she burst into tears.

“What is it, pumpkin?” He tried to pick her up, but she pushed him away. He looked to Corinne for help, but she looked as perplexed as he felt. She picked Ruby up and soothed her. “What’s the matter, sweetie?”

“Beau doesn’t love me!” she wailed.

“Yes, I do! Come here.” He tried to pry her away from Corinne, but she clung tight to her mom’s neck and refused to look at him.

He walked around behind Corinne so he could see her face. “Listen, Ruby, I do love you. And I love your mom. You’re my little pumpkin and she’s my lady. Just because I’m not your daddy, doesn’t mean we can’t be a family.”

Corinne spun around to face to him, forcing Ruby to turn back around. He had both their attention in a big way. He swallowed. He hadn’t known he felt that way, but now the words were out, he knew he meant them.

Ruby was the first to break the stunned silence. She reached her little arms out to him and he took hold of her. “I love you! You’re better than a daddy, you’re my Beau.”

He smiled at Corinne as Ruby buried her face in his neck. She still looked stunned. He reached for her hand. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I could have found a better time and a better way to say it for the first time, but I do love you.”

She was smiling, she looked happy, but he could tell there was a certain hesitation in her eyes. And who could blame her? They hadn’t known each other that long, and words were cheap. He knew he’d have to prove his love with actions over the long term for Corinne. His heart almost stopped beating. Unless she didn’t want him? That thought hadn’t even occurred to him until that moment. Maybe she didn’t feel the same way? He held her gaze, willing her to tell him that she loved him, too.

She didn’t.

The silence lengthened until Ruby looked up at him. “Will you still love me when you have babies?”

“Of course I will.”

“But not as much as them?”

“I love you just as much as if I were your daddy, Ruby.” As he spoke the words he knew they were true. And he finally understood how his dad might feel. He would never be able to treat Ruby any differently than his own kids, if he ever had them. How could he expect his dad to differentiate between Chance and the rest of them? He turned to look at Corinne. Here he was telling Ruby that they were a family and he would always love her, yet Corinne hadn’t said a word. She hadn’t said she loved him.

She smiled, but there was still that fear in her eyes. And it was fear, he could see it now.

He wanted to ask her what was wrong, ask her if she loved him, too. But how could he do that in front of Ruby? He wasn’t sure that he wanted to hear her answer. What if she said no? Where would that leave them? He felt frozen and helpless.

Corinne took a tissue from her pocket and wiped Ruby’s face, cleaning up the tears and ice cream. “Come on, let’s walk up to the top, shall we?”

Beau nodded and started walking again. What else could he do?

~ ~ ~

It was late by the time they got back to the cabin. They’d gone all the way down to see Old Faithful and it was a long drive home from there. Corinne lifted a sleeping Ruby out of her seat, but Beau took her and carried her inside.

“I’ll put her straight to bed,” she said.

He nodded and retreated to the living room.

Corinne’s mind was racing as she got Ruby undressed and tucked her in. It had been quite a day. She knew that when she went back out there, Beau would want to talk. She wanted to talk to him, too. She’d managed to avoid it all day.

Her heart had leapt in her chest when he’d told her that he loved her. She knew he wanted to hear her say the same, but she couldn’t. She wasn’t even sure she knew why. She did love him. She’d realized over the last few days that she was in love with him. But that didn’t mean they had to act on it. Hearing him tell Ruby that just because he wasn’t her daddy didn’t mean that they couldn’t be a family, had melted her heart. She’d love nothing more than for that to happen. But this was all moving so fast. They’d only known each other a few weeks. He was doing wonderfully with Ruby. He was proving to be everything she herself could want in a guy, but she needed more time. She couldn’t just throw caution to the wind, there was too much at stake. Not only her heart, but Ruby’s.

He was sitting perched on the edge of the sofa when she went in to join him. He looked nervous as hell. Poor guy, it must have been awful for him to have been left wondering all day. She felt bad. She went straight to him and sat down beside him.

He took hold of her hands. “I screwed up, didn’t I?”

She shook her head. “No, it’s okay.”

“But I shouldn’t have said all that to Ruby without running it by you first. I should have talked to you, found out how you felt. It just came out when she thought I didn’t love her.”

“I know, and it was so sweet of you. You hated to see her hurt and you said what you needed to make her feel better. But Beau, I don’t want you to feel trapped into loving her, or me. I don’t want you to feel sorry for her.”

“No. That’s not why I said it. I said it because it’s true. I do love her. I know it’s not that long since I said she was a monster who gave kids a bad name, but I had no clue. Now I do. It’s only been a short time, but I’m a fast learner. I’ve learned who she is, how she works and why she does what she does. And I’ve learned a lot about myself, too. You’ve played a huge part in that. And…” he stopped and looked deep into her eyes. “I love you. I don’t want to put you under pressure to say it back to me. I just need you to know. Whether you feel the same way or not, I love you. I’m the guy who has always hedged, played things close to my chest and assessed the consequences before I say or do anything. But this, us, you and me…the way I feel about you is more important than that. I love you, plain and simple. I want us to be a family, I want us to have a life together.” He stopped again. “And here I am running my mouth and just making it more difficult for you to tell me that you don’t feel the same way.”

She shook her head. He was making it more difficult, but not in the way he thought. He was making it more difficult to hold on to her fear, more difficult to remain cautious. “I do love you, Beau.”

A huge smile spread across his face.

“But…”

His smile faded. “I had a feeling there was a
but
coming.”

“It’s not a big one, it’s just that I need more time. We’ve pretty much been living together for the last few weeks, and it’s been wonderful. It’s so easy and we gel so well. But before that we’d only known each other a couple of days. There’s so much we don’t know about each other. This is like the honeymoon stage; what will happen when real life sets in? How do we know if we’ll be able to handle the tough times together? If we’ll even be able to put up with each other when the going gets rough?”

He shook his head. “We don’t, but does anyone ever know?”

She shook her head. “I suppose not, but they date for a while before they jump into things. And it’s not just me, it’s Ruby I’m worried about. What happens to her if she gets more and more used to having you around and then we break up?”

Beau shook his head. “I’m saying I don’t want us to break up. Ever.”

She stared at him.

He nodded. “You know what I mean, but I’m not going to say the words yet. It wouldn’t be fair. But I need you to know that’s what I want. And I’m prepared to wait however long you need me to.”

She didn’t know what to say. He squeezed her hand. “I forced things to move faster than either of us expected by saying what I did today. We don’t have to keep racing forward, nothing needs to change from where we were this morning. Nothing other than the fact that you know where I want us to go. Is that okay?”

She smiled. “That’s more than okay. It’s wonderful. And Beau?” She cupped his face between her hands and kissed him. “I need you to know that I want to go there too. I’m just scared to rush into it.”

He nodded. “I know, and there’s no rush.” He closed his arms around her and she rested her head against his shoulder.

He was such a solid, reassuring presence. She held him tighter. It would be wonderful to think that this was it, that they’d found each other and he really was her future. Hers and Ruby’s.

“You know what I think I’d like to do?”

“About what?” she wasn’t sure what he was talking about.

He leaned back so he could look her in the eye. “About a place for us to live.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, I want us to live together, properly.”