Beautiful Burn (The Maddox Brothers #4) (21 page)

“She’s a beaut,” Liam said. “She’s got the lightest blue eyes I’ve ever seen.”

Tyler stayed quiet, but I didn’t have to open my eyes to see his expression.

“Does she have a boyfriend?” Liam asked.

“Crikey,” Jack said, disgusted. He clearly understood what Liam didn’t, that something was going on between Tyler and me, even if he wouldn’t admit to it.

“You’re barking up the wrong tree, pal. She’s into girls,” Tyler said.

Technically, he wasn’t lying, but it didn’t make me feel any less pissed. Up until that moment, Tyler had been forthcoming and unapologetic about his feelings for me. Now he was acting like a prepubescent who was trying to act cool in front of his buddies.

The two and a half hours felt like an eternity, and by the time we pulled into the hotel parking lot, my body was stiff and screaming for me to move.

I stepped out onto the asphalt, and then scrambled to pull my camera out of the bag and slipped the strap over my head, snapping pictures of the pink ball of fire behind the thick layer of smoke in the sky.

“That’s nothing, darl,” Liam said. “You should come back to Oz with me.”

Tyler grabbed his duffel and slammed the driver side door, walking quickly into the lobby. Liam and Jack followed, and I walked behind them, standing back while Tyler and the Aussies checked in.

The lobby was drab, decorated in beige and fake plants, and full of firefighters, some of them gearing up to go out, others standing around with a beer in their hand. A chalk sign by the bar read
Welcome, Firefighters! Half-price IPAs and appetizers!

Tyler began arguing with the female desk clerk, and then he pulled out his cell phone.

I frowned when he produced his wallet, slapping his credit card on the desk. The clerk ran his card and handed it back with two small envelopes. He looked around for me, and then walked across the room to where I stood.

“Here,” he said, handing me one of the envelopes.

“What was that about?” I asked.

“I got you a room.”

“I could have done that,” I said. “I have a card from the magazine.”

He sighed. “I didn’t know that. Anyway, I took care of it.” I started to walk around him toward reception, but he took my arm. “What are you doing?”

“I’m giving them my card so you don’t have to pay for my room.”

“I told you I took care of it.”

I pulled away from him, glancing around at the different faces in the room. Most of the firefighters hadn’t noticed our exchange, but the Aussies had.

“What is your deal?” I hissed.

“I’m just trying to get you a fucking room, Ellie.”

“No, why are you so mad? You’re like … I don’t even know this person.”

Tyler sighed, looking at everything in the lobby but me. “It’s me.”

“The jealous, asshole you?”

He laughed once, fidgeting. “Who the fuck am I jealous of?”

“Liam saw me naked. So what? It would have ended there if you wouldn’t have not only told him I was single, but fanned the flame of every man’s fantasy.”

“Huh?”

“You told him I like girls,” I snapped.

“It’s the truth.”

“Well, don’t be surprised if Liam asks me for a threesome one of these days.”

Tyler snarled. “Right up your alley.”

“I can’t believe you’re so intimidated by him.”

Tyler took a step closer. “Let’s get something straight, sweetheart. No one intimidates me.”

“You’ve sure been pissy since Liam walked in.”

“I saw you,” he seethed.

“Saw me what?”

“When he walked in on you. You just stood there. Took you a full three seconds to even cover yourself.”

“Oh? So I’m supposed to rush to protect my lady parts because some rude dick walks in on me? You walk around with your ass out all the time at the barracks.”

“That’s different.”

“Why? Because I have tits? When have you ever known me to be modest?”

“Exactly.”

“Fuck you.”

I snatched the envelope out of his hand and stomped to the elevators, mashing the button several times until the door opened. The family already inside slipped past me to the hallway, the daughter wearing a bathing suit and holding a flamingo inner tube around her waist.

I rode up to the third floor, walking down the hallway and around the corner to my room. My shaking fingers fumbled with pulling the key card out of its casing, and then I held up the card to the sensor, but a large hand covered mine, pushing it down.

“Goddammit, Ellie,” Tyler said. “You’re right. I’m jealous as fuck. You’re sending all these mixed signals and some guy walks in on you, sees you naked, then he’s asking about you … I have a million fucking feelings swirling around. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. I’ve never felt like this before.”

I held up the card again, and the lock buzzed. I pushed down on the handle, looking up at Tyler. “Grow up,” I said, shoving through the door and then slamming it behind me.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

I unpacked the four shirts, five rolled pairs of socks, three pairs of cargo pants, two oversized nightshirts, a toothbrush and toothpaste, a brush, mascara, and lip gloss from my backpack. The Alpines could have been called out at any time, and I wanted to be ready. It wasn’t lost on me that I was arguing with the only hotshot assigned to keep me safe, or that Tyler needed to be focused on the growing fire and not our ridiculous predicament.

Tyler and I weren’t an
our
. We weren’t a
we,
meaning no jealousy, no expectations, and no deep discussions about our relationship status or where it was headed. I was a recovering drunk, and he was a recovering whore. Any therapist I’d seen over the last five years would say the same thing I was thinking: we had no future.

I picked up the remote and turned on the television. The news channel was already reporting on the fire, the latest updates scrolling across the bottom of the screen. I only listened for a few minutes before turning it off.

My phone buzzed, lying in the same place on the bed where I’d tossed it earlier. Even from ten feet away, I could see it was my sister. It rang a few times before going dark, and then the display lit up again.

I walked the few steps and reached for my phone, unsure of whether I would throw it across the room or answer it until I held the speaker to my ear.

“Hello?”

“Ellison?”

“Hi, Finley.”

She sighed. “I thought you were dead. Mother and Dad thought you were dead.”

“I guess to them I sort of am.”

I could hear her wrath building, cringing when she yelled into my ear. “Not to me! I haven’t done shit to you, Ellie, and you’ve been ignoring and avoiding me for months! Do you think I’ve been hanging out on the beach just hoping you were okay?”

“No, but I hoped…”

“Fuck you! Don’t hope nice things for me right now. I’m mad at you! I don’t deserve this from you!”

I froze, wondering if she meant more than just being ignored.

“Say something!” Finley’s voice broke, and then she began to sniffle.

I wrinkled my nose. “Are you crying? Don’t cry, Fin, I’m sorry.”

“Why won’t you talk to me?” she cried. “What did I do?”

“Nothing. You didn’t do anything. I just didn’t want to ruin your vacation. I didn’t want you to feel guilty, and I didn’t want you to worry.”

“You’ve failed on all counts!”

“I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want you to be sorry!” she snapped. “I want you to answer your fucking phone when I call!”

“Okay,” I said. “I will.”

“You promise?” She was calmer now, taking a deep breath.

“I promise. I’ll answer when you call … if I’m not working.”

“What are you doing, anyway? Mother said you’re a secretary or photographer or something for the magazine there.”

“Yes.”

“Are you using the camera I bought you?”

I could hear her smiling. She had already forgiven me. She didn’t know about Sterling, and when she found out, she would remember this conversation and feel even more betrayed. All I wanted to do was get off the phone, but that would only make her suspicious.

“I am. It’s a really good camera, Fin, thanks.”

Finley didn’t talk for a few seconds. “I feel like I’m talking to a stranger.”

“It’s me,” I said.

“No, it’s not you. You’ve changed.”

“I’m sober.”

She breathed out a laugh. “How is that going?”

“Well, actually. Well … one fuck-up. How’s Sanya?”

“I wouldn’t know. I’ve been in Bali the last three weeks.”

“How’s Bali?”

“Beautiful. I’m coming back to the States to see you.”

I panicked. “I miss you, Fin, but I’m traveling a lot with this job. I’m following around the interagency hotshots, and we’re all over the place until early October.”

“The hotshots? As in Tyler’s crew?”

“Yes.”

“You’re fucking him, aren’t you?”

“Occasionally.”

“I knew it!” She giggled.

I was going to miss this Finley, the one who was never shocked, and who always let my misdeeds slide off her shoulders. Finley always made excuses for me; she led me around life holding my hand, and bossed me around without a second thought because that was what older sisters did.

No matter how much I wanted to prevent it, there would come a time when we would be sisters but no longer friends. Even if Finley forgave me, she would forever feel the pain of my betrayal and never know if she could trust me again.

I chugged one of two bottled waters in the room, wishing it were something stronger, and then paced a few laps before deciding to go back downstairs. My reflection in the mirror by the door caught my attention, and I stared into the round, icy-blue eyes staring blankly back at me. My reflection wasn’t kind. Dark strands of wavy hair hung from my messy bun. I was sober, and working, doing everything normal people did … was I happy?

A part of me hated Tyler for having to ask myself that question. If I couldn’t be happy doing something I loved, sleeping next to a patient man trying to care for me the only way he knew how, did I deserve to be? I was autonomous, making my own money and my own decisions—but staring at Ellie two-point-oh in the mirror, the sadness in her eyes was hard to ignore. It was infuriating.

The heavy door slammed behind me as I made my way down the hall. The elevator took me to the lobby, which I was surprised to find nearly empty.

“Hi,” I said to the desk clerk.

She smiled, pushing away the doodle she was working on.

“That’s pretty good,” I said, taking a second look.

“Thanks,” she said. “What can I do for you?”

I placed my credit card on the front desk. “Can I change the card on my room?”

“Sure,” she said, taking the silver rectangle from the desk. She used her mouse, clicking a few times, and then slid the card through the scanner. “For incidentals, too?”

“Yes. Everything.”

“Got it,” she said, handing it back to me. “Just sign here.”

“Thanks—” I looked at her name badge “—Darby.”

“No problem,
MountainEar
.”

I walked over to the bar and sat on the stool, alone except for the man behind the counter washing dishes. He had smooth, swarthy skin, and he was too young for his full head of silver hair and sideburns.

“Afternoon,” he said. He stuffed his cloth-covered fist into a glass tumbler, twisting quickly before picking up another glass from the sink. His dark eyes made him seem to be staring at me with much more intensity than he meant to.

“Hi. Just a … um … a Sprite for now.”

“On the rocks?” he teased. His smile faded, and he got to work, realizing I wasn’t in the mood for jokes.

He filled a tall glass, sliding it in front of me. His eyes sparked when someone sat on the stool to my right. It wasn’t hard to guess once he spoke.

“Toss me a Victoria’s Bitter, mate!” Liam said.

“You’re going to drink the first day on the job?” I asked. “Don’t you have a meeting in fifteen minutes?”

“No worries. I’ll have what she’s having.”

“Another Sprite,” the bartender said, disappointed.

I tore at the edges of my napkin, a million things bouncing off the edges of my mind.

“So how did you end up with this outfit?” Liam asked.

“I started at the magazine answering phones, and ended up taking some pictures that impressed the owner. He sent me out with Tyler, and my pictures got some local attention. So, here I am, shooting a series.”

“Worked your way up. I like that,” Liam said, drinking his soda as if it were a pint. He even tipped his plastic cup to greet other firefighters as they walked by.

“I hadn’t been at the magazine long when I was sent on my first assignment.”

“Even more impressive,” Liam said.

“Not really.” I shook my head and looked down.

“What did you do before?”

“Nothing. I went to college, barely graduated, and then traveled for a while. My parents have a house in Estes Park, so that’s how I ended up there.”

“Oh. What do you Americans call it? You’re a trust fund baby.”

“I guess I was.”

“But not anymore?”

“No, I was disowned, actually.”

“The longer I talk to you, the more interesting you are. It’s usually the opposite.”

I looked over at Liam, studying his features. He was such a stereotypical Australian man, with the strong chin, broad shoulders, and massive frame. His jaw was covered in light brown stubble, and his emerald irises were beautiful, albeit barely noticeable because of his narrow eyes. My first instinct was to invite him up to my room and forget about my fight with Tyler for an hour or two, but if the past five months had taught me anything, it was that I couldn’t screw, drink, or smoke away my problems. They would still be there in the morning, even worse than before.

Liam took another gulp of his soda, finishing it off. I’d barely touched mine.

“Starting over can be a bit depressing,” he said. “No one tells you that. You think you’re supposed to instantly feel better, and not knowing why you don’t can be bloody rough.”

“Don’t tell me you’re a trust fund baby,” I said, dubious.

“No. Working clears my head, but even that wasn’t helping anymore. I needed some distance.”