Beautiful Life: The Carpino Series (8 page)

I announce with zero enthusiasm, “Climb in sweetheart.  Let’s give her a go.”  She giggles again as we climb in to the confined space.  I move my seat back as far as it would go, hitting Brendon’s knees.  I smile to myself and say, “Fire her up.”

Starting the car and pulling out of the dealership, Leigh navigates the clown car through traffic.  I feel the salesman move through our front seats, leaning into Leigh pointing out the features of the car.  Which are the same damn features on all cars. 

I move around in my small space and suggest, “You should buckle up.”

“I’m fine,” he says without giving me a glance.

“Brendon,” I bite out and wait until he looks over to me.  I narrow my eyes and say, “You should buckle up.  It’s the law.  I’m an attorney, I should know.”

He huffs a lungful of air at me before he sits back to buckle up.  I lean back in my seat and try to enjoy the miserable ride. 

Looking over at Leigh, who looks like she’s having fun and not just with the test drive but also my exchange with Brendon, I ask, “Are you sure you don’t want something bigger?”

“This is bigger than my BMW,” she answers, keeping her eyes on the road.

“True,” I say.  “But I was thinking you’d want to move to at least a four door.  This is hardly what I would consider bigger.”

That’s when Brendon starts to point out the trunk space, an outlet for her iPod and the vanity mirror.  Wanting to get his attention off Leigh, I ask, “What’s the safety rating?”

“Top in its Class,” Brendon answers.

“For compact cars,” I add.

“Well, yes.  That is its Class,” he answers. 

“Gem, maybe you should think about a different Class of cars.  Go for a crossover, a small SUV?” I suggest. 

“Well,” she says hesitantly, “I’ve always wanted one of these.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

“They’re cute.  And they seem like a happy little car.  It’s not pretentious, it’s not snooty, it’s not even in your face.  It just seems happy,” she explains her ridiculous assessment of the clown car. 

“It seems happy?” I ask for clarification. 

She doesn’t answer me, but pulls into a grocery store parking lot, and like she was meant to drive a clown car, expertly parks. 

I see her pull in a breath but she doesn’t say anything, continuing to stare out the windshield.  I call for her, “Leigh?”

She turns to look at me but stays quiet as she pulls her lip into her teeth. 

I say softly, “Gem, come here.”  I put my hand up to her cheek to close the infinitesimal distance between us in this ridiculously small space.  I look in to her hesitant eyes and ask, “Does this car make you happy?”

“Yes,” she whispers back.

Not wanting anything more than for her to be happy, I say, “You clearly don’t need my permission, but will you promise me you’ll always wear your seatbelt?”

Giving me a small smile while rolling her eyes and shaking her head making me think she thinks I’m ridiculous, she says, “Yes, of course, Tony.  I always wear my seatbelt.”

Because she’s close and I can’t help it, and because I want to show Brendon she’s mine and to stay the fuck away from her, I pull her in for a slow kiss.  Finishing the kiss sooner than I want to, I pull back but don’t let go of her face and ask with a plea in my voice, “Are you sure about the color?  It’s baby blue.”

“It’s Denim Blue,” Brendon breaks into our moment from the back seat. 

I move slightly to give him a dirty look at the time I hear Leigh say, “No, it’s the color of the sky.  I love it.”

Looking back at her I grin while shaking my own head and kiss her quick, finally letting her go.  We all settle back in as she takes off again in her new clown car.  I decide to give a warning to all passengers and say, “All right, sweetheart.  But if you don’t get a good trade, we’re going to another dealership.  I don’t care if I have to drive you to Kansas City or Des Moines.”

I hear the beautiful sound of Leigh giggle from beside me at the same time I hear a frustrated huff of air from Brendon behind me.  I look out the window as she drives us back to the dealership so I can negotiate her trade for her.  She can drive it for a while, but then I’ll find something bigger she likes.  There’s no fucking way I’m allowing any child of mine to ride in this clown car. 

I look beyond my suitcase lying in front of me on my bed at Gabby’s to see Tony standing on the opposite side of the bed. His arms are crossed and he’s wearing track pants with a Final Four t-shirt, but his very unhappy almost black eyes are directed at me.  He’s not really standing, it’s more like he’s towering and his hair is rustled from pulling his hands through it out of frustration. 

Frustration stemmed from me.  But not really me-me.  From me leaving for the weekend. 

“It’s a bachelorette weekend getaway.  It’s going to be a three day, two night bachelorette party, Tony.  It’s not like I can miss it, I’m her maid of honor.  And you definitely cannot come.  I’ll be fine,” I explain for about the twentieth time, no exaggeration. 

“What if you dream?” he bites out, for the twenty first time, no exaggeration.

I throw in my swimsuit cover-up and the last pair of sandals I can squeeze in and look over to him.  He’s pissed, but he’s pissed because he’s worried.  I’ve gotten to know him well enough over the past couple of months to know that. 

I feel like I know him better than I know anyone as our weird, whatever-this-is-between-us, moves forward.  And somehow, whatever-this-is gets better by the day and I find myself not remembering what it was like being alone.  All those years with Preston I felt alone.  But not anymore.  I thought I would want nothing more than to be alone after living my life with Preston, but Tony hasn’t allowed it.  As much as I don’t want to think about it, deep down I know I don’t want to be alone because being with Tony has been the best I’ve ever known. 

But none of this makes Tony any less pissed at the moment.

Tomorrow is Friday and I fly out with Gabby, our friends Regan, Lily and a gaggle of Carpino women.  We’re flying into Phoenix where Jude’s mom lives.  She has arranged a full weekend of fun and girl time at an all-inclusive spa in Sedona.  Preston and I went on some nice trips during our miserable marriage, but they were stressful and hard to enjoy with him.  When I was younger, Gabby’s parents took me on a couple vacations, but other than that I haven’t traveled much.  My mom could barely afford fast food, let alone a vacation because she spent most of her meager income on cigarettes and booze.  I’m looking forward to massages, facials, pool time and fun with my friends and Gabby’s family. 

“Tony,” I start quietly, because I guess I need to explain this differently than I have the previous twenty times.  “Do you know how long I’ve dreamt?  Had nightmares?  I’ve had them a long time.  Even before I lost,” my breath catches because I still can’t bring myself to talk about the baby I lost, “well, what I lost.  They were different then, not as often, but that doesn’t mean I’m not used to it.  I’ll be fine for two nights.”

“You’ve only had three since you’ve been with me,” he reminds me of something I already know. 

I give him a small smile and remind him of his words months ago the first time he sauntered into my bed, “I know.  Maybe we should consider it an experiment.”

He huffs a frustrated lung full of air, drops his arms but pulls his hand through his hair again.  After looking at me, no, glaring at me for long moments he strangely demands, “You’re coming back to me.”

I frown back at him because I have no idea what he means and ask, “What are you talking about?”

“I have no desire to experiment what you do away from me, gem.  As much I hope you never have another nightmare for the rest of your life, if you have dreamless sleep away from me, you’re still coming back to
me
,” he stresses, more frustrated than ever. 

“Honey,” I whisper and see his eyes flash. 

He’s worried I won’t need him or want him if I don’t dream without him.  If I’m truthful with myself, I’m not worried about dreaming without him, I’m more worried I won’t be able to sleep without him.  He’s done so much for me over the past few months.  No, he’s done everything for me over the past few months and it’s time for me to give back.  I need to give him something, even if it’s only to reassure him I won’t break my promise I made on New Year’s Eve.  I have to come back to him, the thought of not coming back to him is painful and after the last month, I don’t think I could take it.

With his almost black eyes burning into me, I move around the bed and go straight to him.  I put my hands flat to his abs, being careful for his almost healed wound on his left side, moving them up over his rock hard chest.  Letting my eyes follow their trail, I slide my hands up the sides of his neck and into his lush hair.  Looking into his eyes, eyes that are now on fire burning into mine, I reach up on my toes to do something I’ve never done before and that’s kiss him first. 

I feel his arms come around me, one in my hair and one very low to my back, pulling me in tight.  I kiss him for about three seconds before he takes over completely and his hand at my back dips down and under his own t-shirt I’m wearing to run his hand up my bare back pulling me even closer.  His hand grazes down my side and I feel hot tingles in their wake where he barely runs his fingers down the side of my breast.  I gasp against his lips and his other hand immediately goes to my bottom over my panties, squeezing and pressing me to him. 

I melt. I can’t help it.  I’ve never had someone’s touch feel so good on me.  Not like this.  Never like this. 

With his hand on my bottom, I feel us turning and we go down, Tony with his back to the bed and me on top of him.  Not giving me a second to think about our new position, he slides his hands down the backs of my thighs, yanking my knees up roughly to straddle him.  I feel him rock hard between my legs and I can’t help but press down.  I don’t just hear but feel him moan into my mouth as I grind into him.  I pull my head up to look down.  His eyes are hooded and hot.  Pulling his hands up to my face, he drags me back to his mouth as his hips surge up and I feel it on my clit, creating a burn that’s never felt so hot leaving me wanting everything.  His hands start moving down my back and I feel him dip into my panties to cup my bottom, making me moan into his mouth as I rock against him harder. 

Suddenly, all these months being with him, sleeping beside him, being wrapped up in his beautiful body every night has finally taken its toll.  I feel like my body has woken up from a coma after months of care and ministrations from Tony.  Every nerve ending in my body feels like it’s connected to the heat between my legs where I want him like I’ve never wanted anything before.  No, not want.  I need him.     

“Gem,” he whispers against my lips.  “Sweetheart, I need to touch you.”

To answer him I grind down again on his rock hard shaft, and oh my, does that feel good.  He rolls flipping me to my back and his mouth hits mine again at the same time his hand dips straight into my panties.  His fingers slide through me making my hips jerk immediately.  His fingers do a slow lazy circle around my clit, making me gasp against his mouth.  Running his fingers lightly through me again, I feel how slick I am. 

I can’t take it, I need more.  I press my hips into his hand.  I breathe against his lips, “Tone.”

“Tell me what you want, Leigh.”

“Please, more,” I beg as I try and move my hips against his hand again. 

Finally, he gives me another circle, but this one is less lazy and I feel my breathing become deep and labored.  All of a sudden he fills me with what feels like two fingers.  I lift my hips to get more as I grip his shirt and pull myself close to him. 

“Beautiful,” he murmurs as he keeps filling me with two fingers while roughly running his thumb over my clit. 

Another swipe with even more pressure is all it takes.  My body rocks with my orgasm, I feel it wash through me down to my toes as I vaguely hear myself moan and writhe, grasping Tony’s arms.  Tony pulls me into him again and I stuff my face in his neck trying to even out my breathing. 

I feel his arms tighten around me as he turns his head to kiss my hair and says, “That’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

Oh my. 

That’s kind of embarrassing but weirdly sweet.  I have nothing to say to that.  Instead, I burrow into his neck deeper and ignore it.  This is not what I had planned when I walked around the bed to reassure him. 

Tony doesn’t let me ignore it as he adds with a full body squeeze, “Now I really don’t want you to go this weekend.”

With the full body squeeze, I realize he is still rock hard against my hip.  “Tony,” I start to say into his neck, “I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean for that to happen.  You’re…um…you know.  I’m sorry.”

“Gem, don’t worry about it.”

“But--”

“I’m fine.  Don’t worry about me.  I’ll be as patient as you need me to be, but watching you come for me was hot and worth waiting for.  Thank you for giving that to me,” he pulls me in for another slow lingering kiss, this one sweet.  Pulling away, he puts his lips to my ear and his breath tickles as he says, “I’m sure everything else will be worth the wait, too.”

Oh shit.

Something else to worry about.

“Sweetheart,” he calls.  I hesitantly look up at him and he’s back to intense.  He belatedly repeats, “You’re coming back to me.”

I reach up, kiss his jaw and whisper against his neck, “Yes, Tony, I’m coming back to you.”

I see relief wash across his face, the same look he exposed to me on New Year’s Eve.  But I don’t get a chance to enjoy it because I hear Gabby calling for me and her voice is getting louder by the second. 

“Leigh?” she calls for me.

Tony doesn’t seem to care because he leans down to kiss me again giving my bottom another squeeze since I’m still pressed up against him with my leg thrown over his hip. 

“Leigh?  Are you guys down here?” Gabby is much closer now.  Too close for comfort with Tony clutching me tight giving me no indication he’s planning on letting me up.

“Tony,” I whisper.  “We’ve got to get up.”

“Leigh!” I hear again followed by a rap on the door. 

“Hang on!” Tony belts out, none too nicely.

“Tony!” I admonish, but in a whisper.

“Are you okay?” I vaguely hear Gabby ask, but I can’t answer because Tony has rolled me to my back and is kissing me intensely again. 

“Sugar, leave them alone,” Jude says through the door. 

Oh shit, again.

I turn my head to the side because that’s my only choice as Tony is pressing me to the bed now and I admonish,
yet
again
, “Tony, get off me.  They’re both out there!”

“I don’t have time to leave them alone, Jude,” Gabby starts.  “You’ve given me eight weeks to plan our wedding, I don’t have a moment to spare.  We need to do this now.”  Then I hear more rapping on the door as Gabby yells, “Open the door or I’m coming in!”

“Tone, they’re going to come in and I don’t have any pants on,” I whisper again, but my hands are in his hair because he’s running kisses down my neck.  “Please, get up,” I breathe.

That’s when he lifts his messy haired head and looks down at me, which is a really good look for him, and says, “Call me honey again.”

“What?” I ask, my voice going high.

“Open the door, now!” Gabby keeps yelling and rapping on the door.

“Say it and I’ll let you up,” Tony says with a grin.

“Gabby, this can be done tomorrow, leave them alone,” I hear Jude’s deep voice again.

“Why?” I ask.

“We’re leaving for the airport at oh-dark-thirty.  I’m not doing this tomorrow, Jude,” Gabby says.

“Because I like it,” Tony answers and his lips come back my neck as he presses his hardness into me again. 

“Tony!” Gabby yells this time.

“She’s gonna come in, you know she will,” Tony says smiling big between kisses.

Honestly.

Finally, I inhale a lung full of courage, put my hands to his face forcing him to look at me and whisper, “
Honey
, please get up.”

With that, he grins, kisses me fast and gets to his feet while pulling me up with him.  I’m still yanking his t-shirt down as far as it will go to my mid thighs as he pulls me into his side while saying, “Come on in.”

“Finally!” Gabby says as she opens the door but the minute she looks at us she comes to a halt.  All she has to say is, “Oh.”

I look over at Jude who’s standing behind her leaning his shoulder against the door jamb, arms crossed with a crooked grin on his face.  He takes a foot and crossing his other ankle, he relaxes his body in further to the door jamb as if settling in for a show.  I look back at Gabby and she’s giving Tony a look with one eyebrow raised.  With no other choice, I close my eyes out of mortification and turn to rest my forehead on Tony’s shoulder. 

Since Tony has my front plastered up to his side, I feel his arm give me another squeeze and he growls out, “What?”

I open my eyes and look back to my friend who gives me a knowing grin, as if we were in middle school and I got caught in the closet kissing a boy.   I thought she’d give me shit but what she does is throw a hand out in front of her giving it a wave up and down saying, “Whatever.  You’re adults and I have a wedding to plan.  Tony, I have to ask you something.”

“What?” he repeats, clearly out of patience.