Beauty from Pain (17 page)

“
I want you to … fuck me.” She’s
hesitant and soft-spoken.

Not good enough. I grab her thighs and pull
her against me.

“
Say it like you mean it.” I’m
hard against her slick entrance and she’s lifting her hips to rub
against me. She wants me to enter her and I will, but not until I
hear her say it the way I want.

She grabs me around the neck and pulls me down
until we’re eye to eye and there’s nothing gentle about it. “Fuck.
Me. Now. Lachlan.”

That’s my girl. “Okay, okay. All you had to do
was ask,” I laugh.

I give her what we both want and sink deeply
inside her. She brings her legs up around my hips to coax me on.
“Harder, Lachlan.”

“
You like it rough, don’t
you?”

She tightens her legs around me.
“Yes!”

I drive into her, filling her as
deeply as I can when I have no choice but to explode. Her legs are
wrapped around me tightly and there’s an unfamiliar feeling deep
inside her.
What was that?

It was neither bad nor good. Just something
I’d never felt before.

“
Did you feel something different
just now?”

“
No, but you obviously did by the
look on your face.”

“
Yeah, I did. I felt something
twitch. Or pop.”

I’m still inside her, so I pull out to
investigate and see if we have an issue. The condom is busted to
hell and back. “Fuck! The rubber broke.”

My first response is to panic, but then I
remember that Paige is on the pill. “You’ve been taking your birth
control pills, haven’t you?”

Condoms are the one thing I have absolute
control over in my sexual relationships. I refuse to depend on
anyone else to be responsible. The cost of failure is too great,
but now I’m forced to relinquish control to Paige and really need
to hear her say she’s been doing what she promised she
would.

She sits up and grabs my face. “Yes, Lachlan.
I take my pill at the same time every day, so relax. I’ve got us
covered.”

She has us covered.
Her words work to calm me a little. “You’re
right. I just panicked for a minute. When are you supposed to start
your period?” I need to know how long I have to worry about
this.

“
Probably Tuesday.”

“
Good. That means we’ll only have
to wait a few days to know everything is all right for sure.” God,
just thinking about everything not being okay makes me want to
throw up.

19

Laurelyn Prescott

Wow, meet flustered Lachlan. I didn’t know he
existed.

I work harder to convince him everything is
all good. “We’re fine, Lachlan. Even if I weren’t on the pill, I’m
not ovulating.”

“
Says the woman who gets a
surprise pregnancy.”

I didn’t know Lachlan could be anything but
cool and collected, but he has shown me a different side of him.
Let’s just say he doesn’t deal well with “oh, shit”
moments.

He picks up the unused condom from the coffee
table and tears the wrapper so he can inspect it for defects.
“We’re not using any more out of that box, just in case it’s a
defective batch.”

When he finishes inspecting it, he flops back
on the couch and stares at the ceiling. He’s thinking—and
worrying—although I’ve told him I’m taking my birth control pills.
Is it because he thinks I sleep around with a lot of men? I admit
that I haven’t given him much reason to think otherwise, but it’s
the furthest thing from the truth.

“
Before you, I had only been with
one person and I was tested for everything under the sun after we
ended things, so you don’t have to worry about catching something
from me.”

He doesn’t look at me. “I’m not worried about
you giving me a sexually transmitted disease. The majority of that
stuff can be treated.”

I see that there won’t be any more sex until
we get a new box of condoms, so I get off the couch and begin to
dress after I toss him his pants and boxer briefs.

When I finish dressing, I kneel between his
legs and put my chin on one of his knees. I peer up at him and he
caresses the side of my face with his hand. I don’t want this night
to be ruined by stress and anxiety. “Don’t. Worry. We’re
good.”

His worry has taken him somewhere else, and I
want him back here with me. “Want me to play something for
you?”

“
Yes, that would be
nice.”

I get up from the floor and take my new guitar
from its case. I stand in front of him and strum several times.
“Any requests from the audience tonight?”

“
You pick.”

I know the perfect song to take his mind off
what just happened. I begin to strum a bluegrass version of “Gin
and Juice,” but I can tell he isn’t catching on. Maybe Australians
aren’t fans of Snoop Dogg.

“‘
With so much drama in the
L.B.C., it’s kinda hard bein’ Snoop D. O. Double-G … But I … I
somehow, someway … keep comin’ up with funky-ass shit nearly every
single day.’”

I know the second the song comes to him
because he begins to laugh. Hmm. Lachlan thinks I’m funny. It’s
feels so strange because Blake never thought anything I did was
amusing.

He picks up and begins to sing the chorus with
me. “‘Rollin’ down the street … smokin’ endo … sippin’ on gin and
juice … Laid back …With my mind on my money and my money on my
mind.’”

When I finish, he claps and I curtsy. “That
was fantastic.”

“
Bluegrass ‘Gin and Juice’ isn’t
fantastic; it’s shitastic. There’s a huge difference between the
two.”

“
That wasn’t exactly the kind of
performance I was expecting when I bought the guitar for you, but I
loved it. Do something else shitastic for me.”

I don’t have to think about it. I’m going to
do “Whatever You Like” by T.I. my way because the song makes me
think of us and our bizarro relationship.

“‘
I said you can have whatever you
like … I said you can have whatever you like … Yeah … Stacks on
deck … Patrón on ice … And we can pop bottles all night and baby,
you could have whatever you like … I said, you could have whatever
you like … Yeah … baby, I can treat you so special, so nice … Gas
up a jet for you tonight and baby, you can go wherever you like … I
said you can go wherever you like …Yeah.’”

He applauds for me when I finish and I curtsy
again. “You’re amazing.”

He thinks that’s amazing? “You know I was just
playing around, right? That’s not the kind of stuff I sing for
real.”

“
Okay, so tell me. What does Paige
Beckett sing for real?”

“
Music is what feelings sound like
out loud. I sing songs that speak from my heart. They tell my
story, how I feel.”

“
Sing one of those. Pick one that
tells me your story.”

“
I don’t know.”

“
You do know. Come on, tell me
your story.”

I’m going to regret this. I know I
will.
I decide on “According to You” by
Orianthi. I strum until I find the desired chord. “‘According to
you … I’m stupid, I’m useless … I can’t do anything right …
According to you … I’m difficult, hard to please, forever changing
my mind … I’m a mess in a dress, can’t show up on time, even if it
would save my life. According to you … According to you … But
according to him … I’m beautiful, incredible. He can’t get me out
of his head … According to him … I’m funny, irresistible …
Everything he ever wanted …’”

And that’s as far as I make it before I’m
choking on my own words. Shit, I knew I’d regret doing this. I’m
mortified as I stand in front of Lachlan with my hands over my face
so he doesn’t see the ugly cry.

He gets off the couch and is by my
side, arms around me. A moment later, he lifts the guitar over my
head and puts it in its case. “I don’t know who
he
is, but he’s wrong. You are
beautiful. And incredible. And funny. And irresistible.”

There’s so much that’s happened in my life to
make me feel unworthy of ever being beautiful, incredible, funny,
or irresistible. But I don’t want to think of those things. Not
now. And certainly not in front of Lachlan.

He lets go of me and takes my hand. “It’s
late. Come to bed with me.”

I follow him to his bedroom and shuffle
through my bag as he pulls the comforter back. “What did you bring
to sleep in?”

I take out a satin lavender slip
gown and hold it up for him to see. He
shakes his head
before reaching into
his bureau and tossing one of his T-shirts in my direction. “Here.
Wear this.” Yep. We are officially on coitus hiatus until we can
get our hands on a different batch of condoms.

He’s seen me naked, but I still turn around to
take my clothes off and slip into his shirt. I’m not sure wearing
something of his is helping with the coitus hiatus effort because I
can’t help but notice how good it smells. Just like
Lachlan.

We go into the bathroom together to do our
bedtime rituals. He’s on his side and I’m on the other. I watch him
in the mirror as he brushes his teeth. It feels so domestic. He
glances over and I’m not sure if it’s because he’s sneaking a peek
at me or if he feels my eyes on him.

When we’re finished, we climb into bed and he
pulls me close. He doesn’t ask me to tell him about the pain I’m
hiding. He simply holds me until we fall asleep. It’s something
I’ve never done. And it’s beautiful.

–––––

I wake the next morning and my hand reaches for a
warm body that isn’t there. The early bird is out of the nest
already, which makes me the sleepyhead again, except for the fact
that it’s only seven in the morning. That does not qualify as
sleeping late in any shape or form.

I don’t find Lachlan in the kitchen, so I walk
toward the gym. I hear “Whatever You Like” blaring through the
speakers before I reach the door. When I walk in, he’s running on
the treadmill and the back of his T-shirt is soaking wet. He’s been
in here a while.

His back is to me, but his eyes meet mine in
the mirror. “Good morning, sleepyhead.”

“
Good morning, early bird. Nice
song choice.”

“
I think so too, although I like
your version better. You just missed Snoop Dogg.”

“
Hate that. Been running
long?”

“
Long enough.” He stops the
treadmill and reaches for a towel to wipe the sweat from his face.
His cheeks are rosy and it makes him look younger, like a child
playing in the hot sun.

“
I probably need to call Addison
to let her know how long I’m staying.”

“
How long do you want to
stay?”

I shrug. “I don’t know. How long am I
welcome?” Listen to me. I’m like Addison now, not wanting to wear
out my welcome.

He wipes his neck and chest—jeez, I’d love to
be that towel. “I’m leaving to go out of town Monday morning. Will
you stay with me until then?”

I don’t have to think about it, but I hesitate
for a moment so he doesn’t see how elated I am to be with him for
the next two days. “Sure. That’s doable.”

He tosses the towel across the treadmill as he
gets off and I know what’s he’s about to do. I see the mischief in
his grin. He knows I’m about to run and catches me before I can
take a second step. I’m no match for a conditioned
runner.

He pulls me against his hot, sweaty body. I
wanted to be his towel. Now, I am. Any other sweaty man would be
gross, but Lachlan’s not. It’s the ultimate turn-on, but I remember
we don’t have condoms since he tossed the whole box of potentially
defective ones out last night.

I pretend to be grossed out as I push away
from him. “Caveman, you are in desperate need of a
shower.”

He rubs his sweaty body all over me. “Now you
are too.”

Has he forgotten about our lack of protection?
“Do you think that’s the best idea since you threw out all the
condoms last night?”

He’s wearing that naughty little grin I’ve
come to love so much. “Don’t need ’em for what we’re going to
do.”

20

Jack McLachlan

It’s not even noon when we’re driving into
town, and we both know exactly the purpose of our expedition. We
have condom shopping to do.

“
I didn’t pack enough clothes to
stay until Monday. Do you mind swinging by the apartment so I can
pick up some things?”

“
No problem.” Except I do have a
problem with it. I’m sure Ben Donavon will be there.

I park along the curb at the apartment. I’m
not sure if I’m invited up, but I’m not at all crazy about her
going to his place without me. “Will you come up and officially
meet Addison?”

“
Sure.”
Abso-fucking-lutely
.
It’s probably not the best idea to hem me up with that little
bastard in the same room, but I don’t want her going up there
without me.