Because of Sydney (31 page)

I rubbed my eyes as I crossed over the bridge. The pavement was wet from the storm that had passed over the beach. My tires sloshed through puddles that had collected on the side of the road. The South Padre lights were in front of me. So was Sydney. She was on this island.

I parked next to her car. It was late. Beyond late. But it didn’t matter that it was after one in the morning. If she were half as hurt as I was, she wouldn’t be sleeping.

I climbed the stairs, taking the steps in rapid succession. I pounded on the door. “Syd.”

I thought I heard her walking on the other side. “Syd, let me in.” My fist beat against the wood. I’d kick the door in if I had to.

“No.” Her voice was strong. “Get out of here. I don’t want to see you.”

I stared at the door. “I’m not leaving.”

“Then I’ll call the police.”

“I’ll wake up all your neighbors before they get here,” I countered. I needed her to open the door. I was lost if she didn’t open the door.

I heard the chain slap against the doorframe. She cracked it enough for me to see her face.

“Please, Mason. Just go.”

I shook my head. “I’m not going. I will sleep outside this apartment if I have to.”

“Ugh,” she groaned. “Come in.”

I walked into the apartment. It glowed blue. The TV was on, but no other lights.

“Can I sit?” I asked.

She didn’t answer, so I found a spot at the end of her bed. “That’s twice now you have scared the shit out of me.”

“I don’t really care.” She glared at me, her arms folded in a protective stance. I wanted to reach out and uncross them.

“Well, I do. Something could have happened to you. I didn’t know where you were. I flew from Dallas as soon as I knew you were back on the island.”

“Don’t act like you care about me.” Her voice was bitter.

It was a punch to my chest. I cared more than I had ever admitted to her. More than I knew I could care about anyone.

“I know you found out about the campground.”

She crossed her arms. “You’re one secretive asshole.”

“It only happened two days ago. It wasn’t supposed to be a secret.”

“Jackie and Chelsea sure did have all the details, didn’t they?” Her eyes were filled with rage. “By definition, a secret is something you intentionally don’t tell someone else. This was a big, fat, fucking secret, Mason.”

I felt my arms tense, and my jaw clench.

“I was trying to figure out a way to fix it. I was hoping I wouldn’t even have to tell you. I’m trying to find another tract of land.”

“So you weren’t going to tell me any of it?” She dropped on to the bed.

“Yes. I would have once I had a solution.”

“And what about Shawna and Lindy? Do they know?” Her stare was accusatory.

I shook my head. “No. No one else knows.”

Her fingers began to tremble. “They don’t even know? Their house is about to get plowed over by a bulldozer, and they don’t know it?”

“Hey, calm down. I won’t let that happen. I will figure something out.”

“And if you don’t? What happens to them then?”

I wanted to tell her what she wanted to hear. That there was some magic solution, but in the past two days we had gone through every parcel on the island. There was nothing for sale. There was no way I could move the trailer park. I was at a complete dead end.

“They’ll lose their homes.” I couldn’t look at her.

“They are counting on you, Mason. Shawna and Lindy. They don’t have anyone else. This was it. What about the swing set and the slide? And the swimming platform? You made promises that you were only going to keep if they were convenient.”

I shook my head in protest. “That was never my intention. I had nothing to do with these damn endangered bugs. We did our due diligence. My legal team advised me. What did you expect me to do?”

The green in her eyes flickered. “The right thing.”

I closed my eyes. “The right thing for me was not to lose millions of dollars.”

“Yeah, I can see that.”

“You said Shawna was counting on me, but she’s not the only one. You met the people in the Dallas office. There are three floors of employees there. Don’t they matter? If this project goes under I will have to let people go. People will lose their jobs. The contractor will lose the job. The people in Padre who are counting on new tourists and jobs for their families will all be let down. This thing is bigger than one trailer park, Syd. And it’s all on my fucking shoulders.” I shoved off the bed.

“I don’t want to let any one of them down. Not one single person.” I turned to face her. Her eyes wide with confusion. “And for one second I hesitated.” I bent so that my nose was within inches of her face. “I almost said to hell with all of it, and let the thing go under. I almost didn’t sign the contract. I was going to lose the millions. I was going to let people go unemployed. I actually considered it so Shawna and Lindy could stay there. You know why?”

Her head moved back and forth.

“Because I didn’t want to see that look in your eye. I didn’t want to disappoint
you
. To hell with the rest of them. But you. I didn’t want to let you down. And I know that’s what you would think. You see your sister in her. You can’t help it.” I put my head between my hands. “And somehow you’d blame me for all of it.”

“But you could have told me,” she whispered. “You
should
have told me.”

“Not until I knew there was no way out.” I sat, the bed bouncing under my frame. “I would do whatever I had to not to see that look in your eye. It kills me. It cuts right through me, Syd.”

I felt the exhaustion and the strain from the day. The ache in my muscles. The worry when Sydney was missing. The fear she was lost. The struggle to keep it all together.

“Don’t leave me, Syd. Don’t make this the thing that breaks us. God, don’t leave me.” It came pouring out in a jolting, disjointed sequence. All I could think about was that I had ruined us.

“Shh.” She wrapped her hands around my neck. “Shh. I’m not going anywhere.”

Her lips were on mine. I felt the heat from her mouth. My hands twisted in her hair, bringing her closer. Our cheeks were wet with tears. I didn’t know where hers started and mine stopped. I tasted the salt on our tongues.

“Don’t leave. Don’t leave.” I felt the safety in her arms, the softness, the tenderness.

“Mason, you broke my heart today.” She sat forward, studying my face.

“I know I did.” I only wanted her lips again, the feel of her body sliding against mine. Things were right when we were connected. The pressure was gone. The only responsibility I had was to keep her in the fortress of my arms.

“I will make things right for Shawna. I swear I will.” I looked into her eyes. The tinges of hazel and amber that drove me crazy the first day I saw her at the Cove danced together.

“It doesn’t fix everything.” She drew X’s over my heart with her finger.

“No, it doesn’t.” I sat forward on my elbows. “But I learned something today.”

“What?”

“It doesn’t matter to me that we haven’t known each other long, or that we’ve burned through this relationship hotter and faster than we should have. When I had to fly home without you, I knew why I was so crazy. I knew what had happened.”

“What happened, Mason?”

Her hair fell loosely on her shoulders. Her long eyelashes were damp with tears. All I could think about was kissing her. Hanging on to every touch.

“I fell in love with you.”

“Oh my God.” She stared at me. “I-I this is really happening.”

I nodded. “I hope so. I’m completely in love with you. Every part of you.”

She kissed me, dragging her soft lips against my mouth. “I love you. I mean really love you. So much that I think my heart might pound out of my chest, or that you can see it on my face in the morning. I’ve been scared to tell you. I wanted to tell you, but it’s too fast, right? Too soon?”

“No, baby.” I reached for the remote. The room faded to black. “You and me. I want all of it. All of you. I want to love you like you’ve never been loved. Your body. Your heart. The way your mind runs a million miles a minute.” I threaded my fingers through hers, carrying her hands over her head. “No more running. No more games. I’m not going to let you go tonight or any other night.”

“Ohh,” she sighed.

“I think I told you the first night we were together I wouldn’t stop until you begged me too.” I felt her squirm under me. “Well, not true. You can’t make me stop loving you.”

I nipped under her ear, feeling her come alive beneath me.

“Don’t stop loving me and I won’t stop loving you,” she breathed.

I kissed below her neck. “This is the best part.” I smiled.

“The makeup sex?” she suggested. Her hands had slipped free and she was running them up my back.

“Yes. Makeup sex. And then after that comes the ‘I love you’ sex.”

I had more to tell her. We could talk in the morning over coffee. Or in the shower. Or when we tried to figure out what in the hell we were going to do about the trailer park.

I’d tell her I was trying to track down Hailey. I would also have to let her know I was headed to Europe in two weeks for a look at a champagne vineyard. But I didn’t feel like I had to rush it. We had time. She was going to wake up in my arms. Nothing else mattered.

October

T
he water stung my ankles like tiny needles jabbing around the bone every time the surf rushed over my skin. My feet sloshed through the ripples. My toes sank deeper in the wet sand. I picked up a shell and skipped it across the breakers. It sank twenty feet from where I stood. What was it about this place?

It didn’t matter what I did, where I traveled, or how long I was gone; the island pulled me back like a relentless tide.

A gull swooped over a sandbar, diving head first between two swells.

I shoved my hands in my pockets, wiping the salt water off in the process.

A year ago I arrived here a bitter man. An angry man. I thought I was in control, but I wasn’t. The hurt was. It would be easier if I could label it as pain. But it wasn’t that alone. It was mixed with embarrassment and humiliation. Time had eased parts, but I knew it was a wound that would never truly heal.

I felt closer to him here. Whether that was a good thing, I still hadn’t decided. I finally was getting to know the parts of him I never met. The other life he had tucked away here between the dunes. Grey. Renee. The Palm Palace. This stretch of beach where he used to fish. I moved to the side when a strong wave pushed on shore. My charcoal pants were rolled a few cuffs above my ankles.

I felt the heaviness settle in my chest. The weight of the questions sinking from my head to my lungs. What was here wasn’t enough. I’d never talk to my dad at Pete’s while we sat at the wooden bar. I’d never understand why he chose to raise Grey and not me. I’d never know why he left my mom.

Instead I had pieces. Scraps and discarded bits like the shells under my feet. Broken wholes thrown on the beach with only half of their story visible.

I reached for another shell and watched it bounce twice when I threw it. I lowered my eyes to the water rushing around me.