Authors: Paula Roe
His soft statement hit a chord inside. He was way too close, evoking emotions he had no right to be evoking. Beth felt her face warm, followed by other, very intimate places.
Luke knew the exact moment everything changed. The melancholy scattered, replaced by a surge of desire that went straight to his groin.
His next question came out rough. “Don’t you miss it at all?”
“Miss what?”
“The intimacy. Sex.”
“Frankly, no.” She glanced away, her discomfort obvious. “It wasn’t that good.”
“Maybe you weren’t doing it right.”
She snorted. “What’s the saying? ‘If it’s bad, it’s still pretty good.’”
“I think they’re talking about pizza.”
He grinned at her quickly smothered smile. “Trust me, there’s a big difference.”
“I see.”
The still, warm silence in the room was suddenly more intimate than a caress.
Luke knew Beth was wary, scarred by her past. Hell, he was, too. But this time there was something more, something more than just physical attraction. She intrigued him, her sexy body combined with that don’t-touch-me glow. She tried so hard for control and calm yet when you scratched below the surface, complex emotion bubbled out. He wanted nothing more than to dislodge that exterior.
He linked his fingers through hers and watched in fascination as the intimate slide of flesh on flesh sent a shiver over her skin.
Then he reached out and gently removed the glass from her fingers before slowly bending to her mouth.
Her eyes fluttered closed, two dark sets of eyelashes feathering softly against her cheeks. At the last moment he detoured to that cheek, gently lipped the skin, then inched to the corners of her mouth.
Beth’s blood pounded as she leaned into him and took a deep breath. Skin, warmth and Luke. Home.
When he finally covered her mouth with his she sighed with contentment. He made her forget the convictions she held on to so tightly. He was heat and passion and tenderness all rolled into one. His lips and teeth and breath did everything his fingers didn’t—teasing, testing, savoring her.
When he finally released her mouth, she squeezed her eyes tight.
“Nervous,
cara?
”
She shook her head vigorously, finally opening her eyes. The passion in his stole her breath away. Gently, he caressed her cheek and her heart broke into a thousand pieces.
“You don’t have to live your life because of other people’s actions,” he said, his warm palm cupping her cheek. “If you do, it means they’ve won. It means you’ve allowed them to control you.”
He was right. Oh, how he was right. Something so simple should have occurred to her before now, but it hadn’t. She didn’t like how Luke forced her to take a long, hard look at her life, at herself. She didn’t like what she saw.
“I don’t know what to think anymore.”
“Then don’t,” he whispered. “Just let go of thinking tonight.”
So when he kissed her forehead with infinite tenderness, then each cheek, then her mouth, she refused to think about anything but his lips, his hands and his heat easing its way into every crevice of her body.
He gently drew her down onto the rug, settling her beneath him.
“I’m not sure…” she muttered against his lips.
She felt the curve of his smile against her skin, his breath teasing her sanity. “I am. Let me show you.”
Then lips met, tongues gently teasing, coaxing, playing out a sensual game of tag. He slid his hand along her thigh and up to the indentation of her waist. She was so warm and soft! He could touch her forever, those beautiful legs, that hot satiny skin, that gently curving waist. That expressive face with wide green eyes watching his every move.
He yanked off his shirt then went for hers, needing to feel that skin against his.
She reached up and ran her hands over his chest, an expression of wary curiosity on her face. She touched the ridges, the bumps and crevices, caressed the muscle. Gently skimming over his stomach only to pause when he sucked in a breath.
When her eyes met his, passion shoved caution out the window. It made his breath hitch. He lowered himself to lie flush against her, kissing her mouth again, then her neck. She arched back to allow him better access and he teased the skin with teeth, tongue and hot breath. His heart pounded, but he deliberately forced himself to slow down, to take his time. He wanted to imprint the look on Beth’s face in his brain, keep her small gasps, the low breathy moans forever in his memory. He wanted to find every sensitive place on her body and kiss it until she begged him to make love to her.
He pulled away, her murmur of protest tightening his groin. But when he stood and silently extended a hand to her, she hesitated, her wide eyes churning with a multitude of emotions.
He smiled and said softly, “Beth. Come here.”
That’s all it took.
She put her hand in his and let him lead her up the stairs, first into his room where he rummaged around in a bag and came up with a strip of foil packets. She flushed under his smile, nervous, but that flush quickly became an all-over flame when he took her hand and led her into her bedroom.
And then she was in his arms. Their lips met. Then their bodies.
With deft fingers, Luke untied her pants as she peeled his shirt off. She drew in a deep breath, smelling the remnants of his cologne, warm flesh and the musky aroma of male perspiration.
He wanted her, really wanted her.
Mouth on mouth, their sighs mingled, then their tongues.
His skin felt like hot tempered steel under satin and tasted of sin. His hands brushed against her hip and every single sense erupted with awareness and longing as she settled against the length of his body.
Beth gave one desperate moan and knew she was lost.
Nerves crackled to attention, every inch of her skin alert and craving to be touched. A thin sheen of sweat broke out and trickled down the small of her back.
When he sucked on her bottom lip she jumped a mile out of her skin. A jagged breath came in, then out, as he stroked her belly.
She didn’t want to get used to his kisses, his touch. Yet she could hardly think straight with his mouth pressed to her neck and expert hands pulling off her panties.
When Luke’s palm curled around the moist juncture between her legs, she jerked and grabbed his hand. Stilled it. “Luke… I…”
“What? What is it,
cara mia?
” he muttered against her neck.
“I…” She pulled away to meet his heavy-lidded eyes, suddenly embarrassed. But all she could get out was, “I’m… not… very good…”
If his tender smile didn’t chase all her doubts away, his husky reply did it. “You’re beautiful, Beth. You don’t need to hide anything from me.”
The last remnants of her iron will came tumbling down. She captured his lips and kissed him deeply.
Hard, hot arousal ached between Luke’s legs as they continued teasing each other with lips, hands and breath. She let him put his mouth all over her neck. Let him trail his lips toward one sensitive breast. Let his questing hand cup the warmth of her femininity and massage gently. Lost in passion, the growl in his throat was low and predatory.
Her knees trembled as she clung to him, as if she were drowning and he her only hope of survival. And when she let out a husky whimper, it pushed him toward the edge. “Luke… I…”
He swallowed, drew in a breath. “Please don’t tell me to stop, sweetheart.”
Her eyes opened to his and the passion in them blew him away. Then she let out a contented sigh, then a gentle chuckle that sent his pulse skyrocketing.
“I need you inside me.”
With a groan full of pent-up passion, he pushed her back onto the bed then reached for the foil packet he’d put on the nightstand. Beth was doing him in, caressing his arms, rubbing her foot down his legs. With more impatience than care, he ripped the packet open and plucked out the condom. It was only when he was putting it on that he realized his hands were shaking. He glanced up and the sight made him gulp. Beth naked, her glorious breasts beckoning him, the look in her eyes glazed with arousal. He dived at her like a desperate man and began to caress her from top to toe.
He couldn’t get enough of the look on her face as he touched and discovered every part of her, as he kissed those rounded, coral-tipped breasts until he had to come up for air.
Beth gasped as he suddenly flipped her over onto her stomach. Then to her utter delight, he proceeded to cover her whole body in kisses. Warm, wet kisses for her shoulder and neck. Tiny lippy nibbles over her shoulder blades. Harder, deeper wide-mouthed bites in the curve of her waist that simultaneously tickled and aroused. And a gentle grazing of teeth and tongue where the small of her back ended and her bottom started to curve.
He flipped her again, but this time Beth was ready for him, wrapping her legs around his waist, tilting her hips up.
“No more,” she pleaded. “I need you.”
He grinned, his hair flopping forward to tickle her cheek. “Yes, ma’am.”
And he grabbed her thighs, angled her body and with one thrust, buried himself in her welcoming warmth.
Luke shuddered, gritting his teeth as her wetness tightened around him. Slowly, second by agonizing second, he released a long breath and began to move. Gently, almost tentatively at first, experimenting with the pace and depth until she was gasping in pleasure, a quivering wild woman beneath him.
“Do you like that?” he murmured, easing out, sliding back in again.
“Oh, yes.”
“Do you want to go faster?”
Luke nearly lost it as her luminous green eyes, dark with passion, stared into his very soul. And when she raised her arms above her head, shuddered out a breathy yes and closed her eyes, he nearly lost it again. Instead, he reined in the tiny threads of self-control and kept going. Every soft sigh, every sob of pleasure was a heavenly revelation. She told him how she liked to be kissed. How she wanted to be touched and how she wanted to touch him. She shivered when he drew himself out in long, slow movements that shortened his breath and his restraint.
Dotted with sweat, her skin shone, almost as if inviting him to feel every slick inch. He did, cupping her breasts, flicking his thumb over the peaked nipples. He bent his head and drew one erect bud between his lips, rasping his teeth along the sensitive flesh. All the while he continued his deep stroking rhythm.
And when she tipped her hips up he went even more deeply than he thought possible. It sent a shot of pure lust charging through every bursting vein in his body.
“Luke…” His name was a sigh on her lips. “I think… I feel…”
“I know.”
He strained for control as her breath came out in tiny gasps. He wanted to hold back, wanted her to take pleasure first, to see the glorious release on her face.
And a deep and thorough sense of belonging hit him, so sweet and pure it seared his heart.
Pleasure tightened every inch of Beth’s skin, inside and out. Blood pounded in her head, between her legs. She wanted to cry because everything felt so unbelievably good.
She heard his labored breath, felt the heat of it on her face, in her ear. Every emotion on her face was mirrored in his eyes and she reveled in it. And as they moved, her release began to build up inside, something just out of reach but gaining fast. So fast, so overpowering. Her half-lidded eyes sprang open, met his head-on.
She gulped in short gasps, legs trembling as he continued his deep, sure strokes. Part of her wanted to keep on going, to go right over the edge and into oblivion. Another part was scared of what that would truly mean.
He must have sensed that doubt because he grabbed her chin, returned her gaze to his. “Stay with me,
cara.
I want to watch you.” His eyes burned into hers, alight with desire and need and fire.
She lost it right then and there. With a final gasp she came in a crashing release, her moans of ecstasy muffled beneath Luke’s mouth.
As Beth’s wetness pooled around him, Luke finally gave in and followed her over the edge. Buried deep inside her, he rested his hot, sweaty forehead on hers and placed a tender kiss on the tip of her nose. And when she smiled lazily, closed her eyes and ran her hands over his sweat-dampened back, he knew something amazing had happened.
Twelve
T
he noisy magpies roosting outside the window broke through Beth’s halfhearted sleep, and she suddenly realized she wasn’t alone in her bed.
Slowly easing out, she grabbed her robe and tiptoed out the door, then headed for the bathroom.
After a hot, unsatisfying shower, she wrapped herself in a towel and swept a hand across the foggy mirror.
She wanted to regret last night. But she couldn’t. She’d loved every moment, every touch, every kiss. Loved it so much she desperately wished she could do it all over again.
But the truth was harsh in the morning light.
She and Luke were two vastly different people with two different opinions on what happiness was. Deep down, she was a traditionalist. Despite her past, she still fully believed marriage was the icing on the happily-ever-after cake.
Right. And that’s from practice, is it, with years of dating experience behind you?
Confusion and uncertainty flooded every pore as she stared at her reflection.
Luke could break her heart. Of that she was certain. And she was also certain she might not recover.
His career came first, she knew that. And she wanted more than he could offer, like commitment and peace. None of that could happen with Luke being who he was.
She had to build up those walls again, to protect herself from further heartache—which meant giving up this house, this deep and significant part of herself.
The stab of pain deep in her belly echoed across her reflection. Honestly, did she really believe she’d win, with the odds stacked so high against her? Who was she, thinking she could convince a guy like Luke. He’d negotiated tougher situations than this, with people way more experienced than her.
She needed to face reality if she was to survive.
Luke gave up the pretense of trying to sleep about the time the sun sneaked in through the window and brightened every corner of the bedroom.
Instinctively, he cupped the back of his neck, only to stop halfway there. The nagging pain had disappeared.
He sat up, scratched his head then ran a hand over his rough chin while he heard the shower go on.
Hot, erotic memories of last night flooded in and with them, confusion and a healthy amount of regret. With a jolt, he was on his feet and over to the window.
He blinked into the sunshine and watched a couple of rainbow lorikeets chatter in the tree outside. He refused to think about what had transpired only hours before. How scorching that had been. And how utterly satisfied his body felt.
And how he’d forgotten to protect them both that last time.
Dammit, this wasn’t supposed to happen. It had crept up on him like a thief in the night, this place with its pine furniture, brightly painted walls and lovingly worn rugs. A house full of life.
He hadn’t seen his cold, perfect apartment in a week. Hadn’t
missed it, either. He sighed heavily, drained from his solitary life of sleek furniture and fifteen-hour days.
That was insane. He loved his work. Loved the challenges, the deals, making money for his clients. But he didn’t miss the late-night food, 3:00 a.m. mornings, the stress headaches that came with the territory… And the steady stream of office chatter about relationships, renovations and family holidays.
Yet the tiny doubts he’d been studiously ignoring slowly began to gain momentum, until they were way too big to overlook.
Since when had he wanted something more? But somewhere along the line he had. He wanted space, privacy. A bath with a claw-foot tub.
A dog. He’d never had a dog—his parents could barely afford to put food on the table let alone feed another mouth.
Perched on the edge of the windowsill, Luke stared out at the blue, blue sky, breathing in the rain-drenched air.
He hadn’t expected to want this so much—not until he’d glimpsed Beth’s perspiration-soaked cleavage, noticed the way her eyes lit up every time she talked about her work, and the way her long, elegant, kissable fingers splayed almost obscenely around the base of her coffee cup. And the things they did last night…
He’d taken advantage of their situation. Of her emotions. And satisfied his need.
That thought stuck in his craw, choking him.
You’re running away from your feelings, Lucio,
Gino had said.
I want to help you, be someone you can look up to. Please, these therapists are good people. They will help you.
And Luke had lashed out with all the guilt and misery and anger a teenager could.
You’re not my father! You can’t be him! No one can. And I don’t need strangers to tell me how to think and feel.
He winced at the memories. Gino had been right then, just as he had been on that DVD last night. The stern, ten-minute talking-to was so like Gino that he’d ended up smiling all the way through it. Then came a massive flood of guilt all over again. Then another wave of guilt for
that,
too.
Frustration fisted his hands. Everything was such a mess. His problems aside, Beth was still harboring secrets and it was starting to annoy the hell out of him.
He yanked on his pants, scooped up the rest of his clothes and headed for his room. Once there, he rummaged around for his phone and punched in Dylan’s number.
“It’s Luke. Do you have anything for me?”
“Not a lot. But what I do have is
veeeery
interesting.”
Luke rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. “Okay. Tell me.”
Beth calmly dressed for work even though her fingers shook doing up her blouse buttons. When she finally walked out of her room she was stronger and more alone than she ever thought possible.
Luke’s voice coming from the spare room brought her up short. As she made her way down the hall, her steps slowed to a halt.
Despite her previous conviction, or maybe because of it, something ripped inside her chest.
After a long pause in which she was sure the whole neighborhood could hear her very heartbeat, she heard Luke’s colorful curse.
“I didn’t see
that
coming. No, she never mentioned it, just said there was an accident. No, I don’t think it’d help. I want you to keep this to yourself. I’ll do the same. Sure. Bye.” He hung up.
Oh. No. Nonononono.
Everything spun to a complete stop, her heartbeat echoing dully in her head as her fingers dug painfully into the banister.
She didn’t feel it. The pain in her heart was much, much worse.
Clenching the wooden rail for support, she felt the desperate urge to run pounding through her legs. Anywhere was preferable to staying here. She even took one hesitant step forward, but at the last moment stopped.
She must have made a sound, because Luke spun on his heel, startled black eyes meeting hers. She couldn’t move, couldn’t speak, just stared at him blankly. She shoved the hurt deep down, tried to regain control over her shattered thoughts. Her face ached with the effort to remain neutral, calm. The giveaway was her cantering heart that she couldn’t hope to quell.
Then he smiled and she melted all over again. “Hi.”
Those lips curled up, lips that had touched her in all the right places. Damp places. Places that still ached.
She could still feel his breath on her breasts. Every whisper on her skin. And his hands and fingers… Oh, Lordy.
Latent desire fogged her senses and she shook her head to clear them. “Good morning.” Schooling her expression into politeness, she hardly noticed the slight waver in her voice.
She walked across the room to retrieve a folder from her desk, skin tingling as she felt his heated eyes roam her back. With a deep breath to bolster her courage, she turned to face him. “Look. About last night…”
“Hmm?” Now that coal-black gaze swept her face, down her neck. Dipped deeper into her neckline, familiar with personal knowledge. She swallowed and noticed the way his eyes focused on her throat. Hoped he couldn’t see the pulse beating wildly there.
“Yes…” She swallowed. “Last night was…”
“Great? Exhausting?” Finally, he looked directly at her. The corners of his eyes crinkled in remembrance. “Incredible?” He teased out the last word, his tongue wrapping around every syllable as if he were licking an intimate part of her body.
“A…lapse in judgment.”
Beth didn’t think silence could be thick and telling. But there it was.
“A lapse in judgment,” he finally repeated.
Beth nodded. Before she could blink, he was in her face. She retreated until her back hit the wall. He lifted his hands and for one second she thought he was going to touch her. Instead, he pressed his palms to the wall, either side of her head.
“A mistake?” He got out, studying her as if the truth was scribbled across her flushed skin.
“If you choose to think so.”
“If I…” He leaned forward and she was caught up in the depth of his eyes. A faint scent of joined bodies and sexual heat wound around them. Beth tried to ignore it.
“You’re lying.”
“No.”
“So why—”
“Luke, you know why.”
“Humor me.”
She shrugged, forcing her voice to remain casual.
You can’t afford to cave in now.
“We had a good time. End of story.”
Something passed over his features, something she couldn’t quite get a handle on. “Is that what it was? Just a hookup?”
She gave a small laugh that sounded brittle to her ears. “It was fun, don’t get me wrong. But I think we should focus on our situation.” Totally aware of the stiffening tension in his body, she continued, “It’s clear to me I can’t afford to meet your asking price, so I’ll be looking for another place this week. There’s no need for me to stay when I can afford to rent a—”
“Hang on. That’s it?”
She frowned. “Why are you so angry? You won.”
“This wasn’t a contest, Beth!”
“No. No, it wasn’t. But you got the prize anyway.”
He yanked away from her and dragged a hand through his hair before turning to pin her with a glare. “After all that talk, all of your ‘it’s mine and I belong here,’ you’re willing to just give it up?”
She lifted her chin. “You said it yourself—I can’t afford it.”
“Bull.” His face darkened. “That’s not it and you know it. What aren’t you telling me?”
“Nothing.” She put her hands on her hips as irritation surged. “After last night, you know everything about me.”
“Really. So who’s Taylor Stanton?”
It was a shocking blow and Luke knew it, right about the second her eyes widened and she gasped.
“You’ve been going through my things.”
“Who is she?”
“You’ve been going through my
things!
” The furious blast from those green eyes washed over him as if he was something she’d got stuck on her shoe, but he refused to back down. “What else have you been doing? Gathering information to challenge my tenancy? Planning to take me to court for—”
“That’s ridiculous!”
“No!” She stabbed an accusing finger at him. “It makes perfect sense. You never trusted me, did you?”
“Nor did you trust me,” he pointed out. “Just tell me who she is, Beth.”
“No. No!”
Frustration spilled over and suddenly he was all up in her face. “Tell me, goddammit!”
Angry tears welled in her eyes. “She’s me, all right? She’s
me!
”
Luke felt his jaw sag open in stunned shock. “
You
were on Flight 212?”
“Yes!”
“It was the ten-year commemoration last week. The survivors sued, right, and put OzFlight out of business—”
“I know.”
Her small forlorn reply snapped off his flabbergasted ramble midsentence.
What the hell did you say after something like that? Whatever issues he’d gone through were nothing compared to the magnitude of the biggest domestic crash in Australian history. So many things now made absolute sense: her fiercely guarded privacy. Her distrust.
God, he’d practically forced her on his plane.
“Beth…I can’t imagine what it must have been like for you—”
Her expression hardened. “No. You can’t.”
“But I don’t understand why—”
“I faked my identity?” She crossed her arms. “I sat next to Beth Jones, a twenty-year-old who was moving to Perth to start a new job. She died in the crash and I ended up with her purse in the ambulance and I…” She paused to swallow, visible proof of the cracks forming in her protective wall. “I was in a coma for a week and they just assumed I was her.”
“So you took her name.”
She shook her head. “I never planned to. I planned to throw away her purse a dozen times but in a weird way having the reminder was…comforting. I was the last one to see her alive, you see, and she had no one left, no family to miss her, no—” She took a deep shaky breath and recrossed her arms. “I was trying to get my life together but it all just fell apart after that reporter found me. I knew I’d never be able to feel safe as Taylor Stanton again.” She looked away, her eyes wide and haunted. “It’s so easy to become someone else, did you know that? A gas bill, then a birth certificate, then a driver’s license and bang—a whole new person. I’ve been Beth Jones for ten years. Ten lean, tough years. But damn, they were peaceful.”