Before I Break (9 page)

“God created Adam and Eve, man and woman, to procreate and live in the Garden of Eden together, and once they sinned it opened the gateway to homosexuality. If God had intended for homosexuals, he would have created two men, Adam and Steve, as opposed to a man and a woman.”

“Bullshit.”

The word rang out in the crowd loudly and my heart stopped. Glancing at Melissa, I saw her sitting with her arms crossed over her chest. I knew that look, as she had just given it to me earlier that day.

The look on Morrison’s face was priceless. His jaw probably would have hit Satan on the head if it fell any farther. “What did you say, Melissa?”

“I said bullshit,” Melissa repeated, standing up and walking in front of the crowd. I couldn’t believe that she was doing this right now and I prayed to God that she didn’t get herself into trouble. God must have hated me then because she continued on. “First of all, your comment about Adam and Steve—very mature, Pastor Morrison. Very mature. Did you hear that from the cool kids on the block?”

“Melissa,” he said, looking as if he were trying to remain calm. “If you have an opinion, you can express it without being very rude.”

“And you aren’t being rude? Right, I forgot. Because you anoint yourself with holy water before you walk on this stage that makes you as holy as Jesus. I have news for you, Morrison. Almost half of what you said when you were talking just now was incorrect.”

“And how are they incorrect? Would you like to share your opinion?” I could very easily see that Pastor Morrison was getting agitated with her, but at least he was letting her speak her mind. To be honest, I was curious about what she had to say. How could she justify what the Bible said?

Melissa smiled sarcastically. “I sure would.” Walking up the stage, she grabbed an extra microphone and stood dead center. “What you said about Adam and Eve was the first thing that stood out to me as incorrect. God did not create Adam and Eve to reproduce. In actuality, He created Adam in his image to have a living thing to connect with, along with all of the animals. In Genesis 2:18, it says God spoke, saying, ‘It is not good for a man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” This does not mean that every man’s suitable partner is going to be a woman. When Adam got lonely, Eve then came into the picture, and according to some scholars,
that
might not even be true because Lilith may have been his first wife. The Bible doesn’t say how long the time gap was between when Adam was created and certainly doesn’t say word for word that Eve was his first wife. So that was the first thing you got wrong.

“Secondly,” Melissa went on, “There is no such thing as a ‘homosexual explosion.’ The reason why there seem to be more homosexuals now is because back then you would have been killed for being gay or even kissing someone of the same gender. Now, here in America, we have certain laws to protect the LGBT people, so they feel as if they can finally be open about who they are. While there may have been no gays in your day that were out, I can guarantee you knew some growing up.

“The last thing, Leviticus was made up of about 613 laws that God commanded for certain people to follow during that time. It was a holiness code. You cannot tell me that some of these laws are pretty stupid. I do not see you judging people who are wearing pants today, or have eaten crayfish in the last week? The only laws that have stayed permanent throughout the entire Bible is the 10 commandments, where it speaks of sexual immorality, but there are lots of other forms on sexual immorality. In Romans 1:26 through 1:27, Paul spoke of men turning from their natural ways to have sex with other men. This means that they were straight naturally, but were burning for unnatural lust for one another. For someone who is naturally gay, wouldn’t that make it a sin for us to try and convert them into being straight? And lastly, 1 Corinthians 6:9 says that those who practice homosexuality will not inherit the Kingdom of Heaven. This means that they’re
practicing
the act of homosexuality, once again referring to straight people engaging in gay sex.

“The truth is, Pastor Morrison, God is about love, and that’s what you teach us
every single service.
Unless it’s about homosexuality.”

That’s when the biggest shock came. Avery stood up next and walked over to a plant and pulled some rocks out of pot, and decided to walk up on stage. Pastor Morrison, who was still clearly reeling from the shocks of tonight like I was, didn’t say a word.

Avery turned to the audience and said, “I’m gay. I just recently moved to Mount Pleasant from Summerville, Melissa brought me here with her tonight because I wanted to see what her church was like, although she warned me of this. I must, say—Pastor Morrison, is it?—do you really know what you’re talking about? If being gay is so detestable, here.” He walked over to Pastor Morrison and placed two rocks in each other his hands. “Hit me with them.”

“W-what is this nonsense?” Morrison asked, looking extremely confused. “I don’t get what you’re asking me to do.”

Melissa, who was catching on like all of us in the audience, smiled. “According to you, homosexuals should be killed, as it’s against capital laws. So go on, Morrison. Stone him to death. Right here, right now.”

The audience remained silent, watching in suspense, no one having a clue what to say. My heart raced, hoping this would end soon, and sure enough, a girl in the back, wearing all black, stood up. The next words out of her mouth shocked everyone: “I’m a lesbian. If it’s true what you believe, Pastor, why not stone me, too?”

This was not happening. The crowd remained silent as Goth walked toward the stage, looking completely confident with herself. With her long black hair and blue eyes, you could say she was pretty, and this didn’t seem to bother her one bit.

Avery, on the other hand, looked as if he was about to snap. His face was stone cold hard, not moving at all, and I could tell he was clenching his teeth in anger. Melissa, still having her arms crossed, welcomed the girl on stage.

And to make things even better, just then, Jake walked in, looking completely out of tune with what was going on right now. He gave me a questioning look, though I waved him off. He could hear about it later. Right now, there was a gut feeling inside of me that wouldn’t go away and I couldn’t shake it off. Right now my girlfriend—possibly ex soon, but I didn’t want to think about that—was on stage with a new guy I had befriended and was trying to earn back. Both of them knew I had messed up, and this could be the first step to redeeming myself.

But could I really go up there and embarrass myself?

They’re your friends,
my conscience told me.
You need to do this. Go up there. Show the world that you’re changing.

“Enough of this,” Morrison said, dropping the stones. “I will not stone you.”

“And why is that?” Avery asked with Goth standing at his side. “We’re gay. I like having sex with men—not that I have yet—but would like to one day.”

“Then how do you know you like it?” Morrison asked.

Melissa smirked. “How did you know you were straight before you had sex with a woman? It’s the same thing, Morrison, and you know it.”

Now’s my chance to stick up for him. I can do it.

I couldn’t do it.

Yes I can.

No I couldn’t. Just three days ago I was against homosexuality, and now here I was thinking about defending it? I thought back to my conversation with Lauren today and it brought me to my senses. Right as I was about to stand up, Lauren was walking toward the stage. She smiled as she got up there and said, “I agree with these children completely, Morrison. Practice what you preach.”

“’Thou shalt not kill,’” he quoted in his defense.

That’s when I did it. My nerves, all bundled up inside, exploded and I said, “But doesn’t the Bible say to kill homosexuals?”

All eyes fell on me, especially Melissa’s, whose were on fire from anger. Realizing how wrong that came out, I clarified, “One of the Ten Commandments is to not kill. So why would there be a reason to kill a gay person? Unless you're saying they're not human?” Walking up to the stage, shaking all over, I continued as I walked up the stairs and got a microphone of my own. “Don’t you get it? Melissa was right. Those laws no longer apply because killing is a sin, if homosexuality is a sin at all. I’ve come here most of my life and have gotten all my prejudice from you, but…” But what? I tried to find the right words to say. “Jesus loves us all, whether you believe in him or not. Homosexuality should not be a religious
issue,
or even an issue at all. Love is not an issue with God, because that’s what he wants from us.” Dropping the mic, I held up my hands in defense. “So stone us all, Pastor Morrison. Stone us all for going against Leviticus 18:22 and 20:13. I’m sure God would appreciate it.”

Seconds ticked by that felt like hours. I didn’t know what to do next and clearly did no one else. Then, the strangest thing happened. I expected applause like in the movies. The cheers. The joy. But the next thing we got was a hot coffee thrown on the stage.

Right at Avery.

My gasp seemed to ring out across the room but Avery remained very still, looking genuinely sad. Melissa reached out for him, but he pulled away, the tears forming in his eyes, and he ran off the stage, leaving us alone as he ran out of the loft and down the stairs. All of us—Melissa, Morrison, Goth, Lauren, and I—were left on the stage alone.

“Go,” Morrison told all five of us. He sounded exasperated, like this tired him out. What a dick. “Leave and do not come back to this church again.”

“But—” Lauren started but Morrison held up with hand.

“You defy the Word of God and embarrass me in the House,” he went on. “You are no longer welcome here. Any of you. And be sure to never bring a homosexual here again. Any of you, even those not involved in this show tonight.” That was directed toward the audience.

Melissa, completely enraged, said, “Fine. You’ll see us again soon, though, I promise.” She grabbed me by the hand and we got off the stage, exiting the room with Lauren and Goth behind us. Outside, Avery was nowhere to be seen.

“I can’t believe we just got kicked out of our own church,” Lauren said, looking confused. Sitting on the side bench, she put her head between her legs. “I’ve been coming here since I was a kid.”

“Same here,” I replied. “I can’t believe that just happened and Pastor Morrison let it.”

“I can,” Melissa said. She received a text a second later and sighed. “He’s okay; he’s sitting in the car waiting for me to take him home. He says to tell you all thank you for helping support him tonight.”

We sat in silence for a moment before I said, “So what do we do now? Are we just going to leave things like this?”

Melissa smiled, and I knew that look, too. “What do you have in mind?” I asked.

“I have a plan,” she replied. “A good one.”

I stepped quietly inside, hoping that no one would hear me. Closing the door softly, I headed into the living room, hoping to avoid confrontation tonight—more than I already had, anyway. Just as I was about to walk up the stairs, a light flicked on, and standing behind me were Mom and Dad.

“Hey,” I said, trying to sound nonchalant. “Uh, how are you guys?”

My father stepped forward with an angry gleam in his eyes. “I think we could ask the same of you. Pastor Morrison called about a half hour ago.”

There went avoiding confrontation. “So you know?”

My pointed to the chair and said, “Sit.” Taking the seat at the kitchen table, Dad and Mom sat on each side of me, staring me down. Dad particularly looked pissed, but Mom looked unsure of what to say.

I didn’t want to have this conversation. I wanted to just go upstairs and go to sleep, but I knew they weren’t going to let me right now. Right now it was more important that we discussed this, although I didn’t want to.

“What were you thinking?” Those were the first words out of my father’s mouth, and I felt kind of sick to my stomach. I let him down. I let everyone in my life down tonight all because I wanted to support Avery. Now that I was banned from the church, I was sure they’d never let me see Avery again.

“I was thinking…that I wanted to help a friend,” I said quietly. “I didn’t expect this to happen. I thought…”

“Thought what? That people would honor your bravery? This isn’t the movies, kid.” Dad looked at Mom and she shook her head. “We want you to promise you’ll never see this Avery guy again.”

“What?” I asked. “Why? This wasn’t his fault—”

“He’s a bad influence on you,” my father went on. “Trust us when we say it’s for the best. Would you have done this you had ever become friends with him?”

Well, probably not, but that didn’t make it his fault, did it? I shook my head no and Dad stood up, going refrigerator. “We want you to stop seeing him, period. No ifs, ands or buts. Avery is gay, Cyril, and it’s not normal. They get in your head. Do you really want to spend the rest of eternity in hell for a guy you just met?”

The thought did scare me, I could admit that much. If it was true that you could go to hell for being gay, it had to be possible that we go to hell for supporting them too, and that was the last thing I wanted. My heart ached, but I really felt it to be true.