Beg for It (8 page)
Reed squeezed Kole's shoulder, spoke in a soft voice. “Had me worried there, man."
"Got a bad headache, is all. Just added decoration to the black eye you already gave me.” He closed his eyes and grunted. “Come as soon as you get up. I want out of this place ASAP."
"Sure.” Reed turned away from the bed, then headed for the door. Once next to Bella, he stared at her intently, as if he understood why she was sitting in the seat not saying a word. Bella hadn't even understood the reasons.
He eventually freed her from his hard examination, and as he strode by, she stood and glanced over at Kole resting on the bed looking relaxed. Then, she turned to leave.
"Bella,” Kole called, cool and collected. “Come here."
With a deep breath for bravery, she approached him as he said, “We have to talk, don't we?"
The curtness in his voice made her realize he really was angry with her. She had to wonder if it was because she disappointed him earlier, and now with the event he experienced, was he taking his frustrations out on her?
Instead of being enraged like she normally would be, she only experienced shame and sadness. Her heart bled. Now was the time to be honest. “I tried, you know."
"Tried, what?"
"To be what you needed.” She heaved a sigh. “I know that you might find me boring compared to the others, but I can—"
He raised his hand, cutting her off. “Do you believe that I'm upset because of something that happened in the scene?"
"Aren't you?” Her lip trembled, and she hated that. She wanted to be stronger than this, to fight to prove that she could handle the likes of Kole. But her heart broke at his dismissal of her and left her feeling bare.
"Come sit on the bed with me.” She settled in next to him, and he wrapped an arm around her as he continued, “You lied to me."
"I didn't lie."
"Oh no?” He arched an eyebrow. “You told me you were fine. Promised it, if I remember correctly. But then I find out from Reed that you arrived home quite upset.” His eyes narrowed on her. “Explain that."
Heat burned in her cheeks. This was what it was all about—it had nothing to do with her pulling her safe word, and everything to do with why she kept him at arm's length. Would he make her admit she cared for him? “It's not what you think."
"Then what is it, Bella?"
Only the truth would save her now. “I like you."
He leaned back against the bed and stared at her, really looked at her as if she surprised him. “You
like
me?"
Glancing down at her lap, she twined her fingers and held on tight. “I..."
His finger came under her chin and lifted her head. His eyes were welcoming and warm, and his voice was equally soft. “Tell me."
"I know I disappointed you."
He frowned. “Don't read into me, especially considering you're reading me wrong.” He tightened his fingers on her chin. “I'm disappointed with you for not sharing what was mine to hear. Those feelings you experienced revolved around my interaction with you. I deserved to hear your thoughts. Not your friends'."
"It's not so easy for me to admit this to you."
He swiped his finger so delicately over her jaw in a way that fully contradicted his last move. “We're finally getting somewhere.” His mouth arched up ever so slightly. “I told you, Bella, I'm not going to treat you like a princess. I'm not a knight sweeping in to rescue you. You don't need it, and frankly, I'm not made for that."
"I don't want anyone to rescue me."
"Then speak your mind, woman. You're so very strong, but yet you hide away like a skittish cat. Why is that?"
"I don't know.” At his arched eyebrow, she quickly corrected herself. “I don't enjoy looking weak. I've had to fight hard in my life to prove myself, and I guess...I wanted to prove myself stronger than you."
"Thank you for that honesty.” He slid his fingers along her jawline. “And you thought that submitting to me weakened you?"
"I...” She shut her mouth, knowing she had been about to lie, drew in a deep breath, and tried again. “It scared me. I dropped all my guards with you. I wasn't expecting that. I didn't think I'd ever give that control to someone, and I'm not sure if I can give you what you need. So, yeah, that worries me."
"I believe that's for me to decide if you can give me what I need. Not you.” His tight expression warned her not to assume on his behalf. “You don't have to be a perfect submissive, Bella. You need only to be
my
submissive."
The possessive claim sent sheer joy in a form of a quiver rippling through her. “But then why were you upset at me after?"
"You closed yourself off to me. You think I didn't see it in your face? Feel it in your body when you tensed?” He shook his head, slow and steady. “If you really listened to what I told you instead of hearing what you believed, then you would've understood what upset me.
"It's why the exchange of words is so important in a D/s relationship, because in that moment you'll be exposed, your emotions raw. You need to let me in, so we can work through it together."
His jaw clenched, and he continued, “But your issue with trust is something that cannot be overlooked.” At her parted lips, he raised his hand. “I'm not talking about you using your safe word. That's there for good reason. I want you to use it if you're not comfortable."
Okay, that relieved her some.
"But you won't grow either as a submissive or in trust if you don't believe that I know what you need. You were overwhelmed and panicked. Totally understandable."
He understood; she hadn't expected that.
He gave her a measured look. “I had pushed you enough, which is why I ended the scene. You needed to see that I would listen to your safe word. That's how trust is earned, and I needed to earn that, Bella.” He tapped the tip of her nose. “And you needed to learn that if you use those words, it comes at a consequence, which means you need to use them wisely."
"Oh."
He chuckled softly, leaned in, and kissed her forehead. “Now tell me, when I ignored you before, how did that feel?"
"Horrible."
He backed away, stared at her, and his gaze was tender. “And now you know exactly what I experienced when you did the same to me."
Awareness struck her. Marley had said he punished her, and that must have been what she meant. He'd done exactly what she did to him, so she'd fully understand what he experienced.
"Not pleasant to have someone ignore you like you're not there, is it?"
Odd way of doing a punishment, but it had the desired effect. “I was wrong."
"Indeed.” He smiled in kind. “As to the other matter about how I felt, I was proud of you, in fact. You pushed yourself and submitted like a lovely sub should, which is exactly what I told you and seemingly that you chose to ignore. Thinking otherwise—that's all on you."
"I'm sorry."
Had she really concocted this all in her head? All he wanted was for her not to treat him like the men who'd hurt her before. And she realized in that moment that Kole was the first man who'd ever really seen her...for her. That he didn't want the Bella that she'd become from past experiences; he wanted the real her. More so, she finally understood that he deserved her heart because he'd never mistreat it.
He gave a low chuckle. “Now isn't this nice? And wouldn't this have been so much better if you discussed this after our scene instead of getting yourself worked up in a frenzy?"
At her nod, since she now realized how foolish she'd been, he studied her for a long moment, then said, “Tomorrow night we're going to fix this issue between us so we can move on."
Bella stared into that heated gaze, and her stomach swarmed with butterflies. How could he do that to her with a single look? But the only thing that truly mattered was what she wanted all along; he wanted more from her, and she could redeem herself.
"Yes, Sir."
The door to the dungeon room shut behind Kole. His cock went from soft to steel so quickly it stole his breath. Bella was nude except for a pair of shiny black heels. Her hair was pulled back into a tight ponytail that left the ends to sit at the middle of her back. Her legs were spread wide, and her arms were up above her head. Black silk had been wrapped around her wrists, binding her to the ring above, and covered all the way down her arms.
He had instructed Bella to prepare herself, and she had clearly gained the help from one of the assistants who worked at the castle. Her effort paid off. She had pleased him. Desire to take her engulfed him.
Once he approached her, he settled at her back, and the glow from the candlelit room made her creamy skin appear more delectable. Every line of her body was utter perfection.
Sliding his fingers down her torso, he caressed her side and down her hip. He inhaled, catching a waft of her cinnamon scent mixed with aroused woman. “You look lovely. Stunning, in fact."
"Thank you, Sir,” she rasped.
Grasping her hip, he spun her around, and the metal ring holding her screeched as she turned. He scanned over her breasts, the taut nipples that awaited him, and the lines of her stomach that moved with her deep breaths.
When he looked back into her eyes and found them rich with desire. He grinned his approval, then slapped her thigh with a light hit. “Beautiful."
He turned away from her and strode to the tray of items he requested the assistant leave for him. He took the black crop, then returned to Bella. Her focus was on the crop for a mere second before her gaze returned to his. Oh, how the sub sizzled.
He slid the crop over each nipple, and she sighed and trembled, which made his cock jump. But as he stared into her pretty eyes, she appeared conflicted. She had clearly done some thinking since she left him at the hospital last night.
"I see questions on your mind, Bella.” His voice was low as he intended. “Now is the time to ask them."
A pause followed, her expression thoughtful before she finally said, “How will this work? I mean with us...will we...do I...?"
He chuckled. “I don't want a slave, Bella. But you will learn when I demand submission. Good indicators would be when we're in the castle or in the bedroom. At all other times, then I'm Kole. Not Master Kole or Sir."
"Okay, well, that's good.” She drew in a sharp breath, looked down, and avoided his gaze. “Do you have other submissives, Sir?"
He tapped the crop under her chin. “Eyes on me, Bella.” She immediately lifted her head, but her features were tight. “There are more, yes."
Darkness seeped into her features before her focus went back to the floor. “I see, Sir."
"Is this something that displeases you?” He hit under her chin, harder this time, and she jerked her head up. “Speak freely, Bella."
She flinched from the hit; her voice held a slight tremble. “I don't want there to be anyone else, Sir."
He ran the crop over the swell of her stomach and enjoyed when she sucked in a deep breath. “You prefer me to give them up?"
Her gaze zoned in on him, focused and intent, and the Bella that he'd grown fond of appeared, the strong woman who knew what she wanted and dived headfirst to snatch it up. “I would, Sir."
That's my girl
. This Bella in front of him was who he adored. Not the frightened one who ran from him.
"You're interested to see where this goes, then?” He tapped lightly along her thigh, and her muscles tensed. “You want to be exclusive?"
"Yes, Sir."
"What you ask of me is not to be taken lightly.” He ran the crop up her thigh, along her pelvis, tapping her clit with the flat part of the crop, and she moaned. “Tell me, why I would place my subs with another Dom for only you?” He intended to, but she needed to understand what it meant for him to do that.
Another hit had her drawing in a breath through her teeth. “Because there's something between us—something special—and I think we need to explore this."
He marveled at her strength. “You're much more beautiful when you're honest. And I agree with you, but Bella, you've already proved to be disobedient when you weren't truthful in our last scene together."
"I was unaware, Sir."
He moved the crop lower down to rest at her entrance. With his free hand, he palmed her clit to show her that her answer was exactly right. “Explain why?"
"Because...” She hummed as he rolled the bud beneath his touch. Her eyes fluttered closed for a mere second before she snapped them open. “Because I never talked to you. If I had said how I felt and asked if you were disappointed instead of assuming it, then this wouldn't have happened."
He lowered the crop, then slid his fingers through her damp folds and worked her center with prodding fingers. “And because of your behavior, what happened?"
"You withdrew from me and punished me by not acknowledging me to show me how you felt when I did that to you.” She dropped her head on her arm and thrust her pussy against his hand. “Which I deserved, because I clearly shouldn't assume what others are thinking."
He pulled his hand away. The chain above Bella protested as it carried some of her weight with a loud clang. “Are you aware now of what will happen if you behave in this manner again?"
"We'll be over."
He snapped his fingers in front of her face. “Just like that.” He tucked the crop under his arm. “If a Dom and sub don't have openness and trust between them, the relationship will fail.” He cupped her face and leaned in, his lips nearly on hers. “No lies. Total honesty. Yes?"
"From here on out, Sir."
He smiled. “Nice to hear.” He slid his hand along her jaw, took her chin, and held her firm. Her sincerity pleased him. And she'd understood his actions at the hospital. Sometimes experiencing something firsthand was much easier than explaining it. And she learned from it, but here was her test to see if she was truly honest with him. “Now that you've had time to
think
things over like you requested...” Her eyes widened, unease filled her features, and he expected such a reaction from her. “Answer my question. Why do you get
tough
and shut everyone out?"