Beginnings (6 page)

His usual warm brown eyes darkened and he stepped even closer to me.

“When you're asleep at night I sit in my chair and watch. I memorize your lashes and how they perfectly curl, your lips and how soft and tender they look. I think to myself how beautiful you are, how breathtakingly beautiful. Sometimes I want to touch you so bad it hurts, but then I curse myself, it's not fair to you. You should be with someone who can give you the world, who can hold you and kiss you, but I can't let go. I need you too much.”

“I don't want you to let me go. After this past week I never want to feel what it's like without you.”

How could I want someone so much that I'd never even touched? Every part of me was tingling, longing to feel him. We locked eyes and it took my breath away. I didn't think I would ever feel as connected to someone as I did right then.

“Anna, you coming down?” Haley poked her head in my room.

I stood frozen, not wanting to tear my eyes from his.

“Anna?”

Adam broke contact first. It left me feeling light-headed.

“Yes.” The word barely came out. I shook my head to clear it. I turned toward Haley and cleared my throat. “Yes, I'm starving,” it came out as more of a pant than I planned. I heard Adam chuckle.

When we came downstairs I found my aunt had gotten pizza.

“I just thought after today you might need some comfort food.”

Boy, was she ever right. Before I was all the way sitting down I'd eaten almost a whole slice. I noticed my aunt and uncle exchanging looks of happiness to see me eating. They all chatted on a bit as I devoured two more slices.

“How did today go Anna?”

I glanced nervously at Adam. I didn't want him to know what happened.

“Fine,” I smiled

“I hope nobody gave you any trouble?”

“Nope, all’s good.”
Please leave it at that.

My uncle must have noticed my discomfort and started asking Haley about her day. I thanked him with a smile as Haley went into great detail explaining everything that happened.

I wasn't questioned any further, and I was able to escape to my room shortly after.

“Why would anyone give you trouble today?” Adam questioned, sitting in his chair.

“No reason,” I tried sounding as convincing as possible.

“An idea came to me while you were eating.” I was relieved he didn't press the topic any further. He seemed more interested in what he wanted to tell me. “Do you think it's possible I'm in a coma? It makes sense, in a weird kind of way.”

“That's crazy to think about, but it could explain the brief moment you heard voices.”

“Is it possible for a person to detach from themselves while they're still alive?”

“I don't know, but I hope so. If you're right, do you know what this means?” I asked, as my poor, overworked heart picked up it's pace.

“I know exactly what it means,” he gave me
my
smile, and I glowed back at him.

We could finally touch.

Chapter 7

“Annie, why does everyone keep staring at you?” I didn’t look at him as I headed to class. “Are you going to tell me what's going on?”

It's nothing just ignore it
,
I scribbled in my notebook.

Of course Adam couldn't let it go. By the end of school he was fuming.

“Tell me what's going on right now Annie!”

I cringed at the level of anger in his voice. I pulled my ear to let him know to hold on a minute. A group of girls passed. One of them looked at me before turning to the others and saying something that led them all into a fit of laughter.

Jeremy strolled up next to me, “You ready?”

I nodded my head yes and we started walking to his car.

“For crying out loud Annie, you're really pissing me off! Do not get in his car. We need to talk. Now!”

I'd never seen Adam this angry before.

I got into the passenger seat and buckled in.

“I thought we could go to a park bench and talk,” Jeremy said, as he started the engine.

“Works for me.”

“Fine, ignore me! I am beyond mad at you right now!”

I didn't look back. I could feel how angry he was. I had no desire to see it.

The drive was short and we went directly to the picnic tables under the trees. We sat across from each other. Adam was pacing back and forth behind Jeremy.

“Are you in the mood to tell me what happened, or would you rather we did something else?”

I had given this a lot of thought last night, and I knew we needed Jeremy's help if we were going to find answers.

“I'm ready.”

“Okay, so who's Adam?”

I held my breath, waiting for the explosion.

“How the hell does this guy know my name!” If I'd thought Adam was furious before, this was beyond that. I hoped I wasn’t making a mistake.

“Please keep an open mind, you are the first person I've ever shared our story to.” I took a deep breath, “I met Adam when I was eight years old. We became instant best friends. He was everything I needed after my parents death. He taught me to be a kid again, to let loose and enjoy life. He made me feel safe and loved, which I desperately needed.”

“Annie, please, don’t do this,” the anguish in Adam's voice killed me, but I continued. “We became inseparable. Adam would think of our adventures and I would see them through. I was crazy about him. Anything he asked of me I would gladly do it. For the past eight years there hasn't been a moment we weren't together. Although I can't touch him, I can feel him. He feels a part of me, and I him.” I looked past Jeremy and straight into Adam's eyes.

“I love him.” I stopped to shake my head, “No, it's more than love, so much more.”

Adam just stared back at me not moving.

“What do you mean you can't touch him?” Jeremy's voice sounded disturbed and his face was covered in confusion.

“Well, this is the part where you need to keep an open mind. Nobody but me can see him. Even though he can move around, he can't touch or feel anything.” I put my fidgeting hands on my lap, “So that’s who Adam is.”

Jeremy just stared at me wide-eyed, so I continued. “Last Monday...” I looked down at my hands. Why was I so nervous for Adam to know what happened? “Last Monday, Adam was in front of the class when he dropped to his knees in pain, calling out my name. I’ve never been so scared in my life. I couldn't get to him fast enough, and by the time I reached him he was gone. That’s why I was screaming his name, I was terrified. One minute he was in front of me writhing in pain and the next he was gone. Words can't describe my desperation to find him. He matters more to me than anybody. I had to find him, but he was gone. For eight agonizingly long days he was gone. I've never felt so lost. Without him I'm not me. I'm not whole.” By the the time I was done Adam was sitting next to Jeremy with his head in his hands.

“What happened to him?”

“We don't know, that's were you come in.” I saw Adam's head shoot up. “I need your help hacking into hospital records to see if there's anything on him. We think he may be in a coma.”

“Annie, stop, please. How do you know we can trust him?” Adam's voice was begging me.

I looked his way. “We need him. He's the only person I know who can access the records we need.”

“So this Adam guy, he's here now?” Jeremy asked, eyebrows raised.

“Yes, he's always with me.”

“This is a lot to take in.”

“I imagine it would be.”

“You know this sounds crazy right?”

“Why do you think you're the first person I've told?”

“This is the kind of thing they lock people up in padded rooms for.”

“I agree.”

“Huh,” he slouched over his elbows, “Okay, if he's here then he can tell you how many fingers are behind my back.” He moved his hands behind him. I looked to Adam who just stared at me, eyebrows scrunched together.

“Please.”

“Three.”

“Thank you.”

“Three,” I answered. “No, wait. Seven. Ten. Six. One. None. Nine.”

“Wow, okay. One more.” He pulled out his wallet and unfolded a piece of paper. “Read to me what's on here.”

“Jeremy, please pick up after school: Milk, eggs, dish soap,” I chuckled at the way his jaw dropped.

“Holy shit this is crazy!”

I smiled at him, “So will you help us?”

“Hell yeah I will!”

My smile got bigger, “Good.”

“Wow,” he sat back and shook his head, “This is crazy. Why do you think only you can see him?”

“I have no idea. It doesn't make sense.” I shrugged my shoulders, “I think we needed each other. We were both lost.”

********

“Adam, say something please.” We were back in my room after spending all afternoon answering Jeremy's questions. Adam hadn't moved from his chair in over an hour. I had no idea what he was thinking, “Are you still angry with me?”

He let out a long sigh, “No, I'm not angry. Well, I'm angry at myself but not with you.” He looked at me with such sadness in his eyes, “This isn't right, you and me. I shouldn't be here.”

“Where do you belong more than here with me?” I was feeling my chest tighten up. He ran both hands through his hair and down his neck resting them on his shoulders.

“Nowhere,” he sighed. “Oh Annie, what are you doing to me?” He looked so tortured, “I know staying here with you is wrong, but I can't seem to bring myself to leave. That's always been the problem. I’ve always been too selfish to let you go. Sometimes I would be frustrated that nobody could see or talk to me, but then you would be there smiling, eager to take on a new adventure with me, and I knew I was right where I belonged.

“I've watched you over the years forgoing playing with other kids so you could be with me. At times I would feel guilty for how self-centered I was being and other times I didn't care. I needed you too much. I can't help but wonder what you would be like if we never met. It's not right that I stayed for so long.

“What happened at school wasn't right. The pain I put you through tears me up inside. I don't want to be what holds you back in life. The world needs to know who you are. Hell, I'd be happy if only a handful knew, but it can't just be me. You deserve more than what I can give you.”

I didn't like hearing him talk this way. “What would you leaving now change? We can figure this out. We've never been this close to finding real answers before. Please, Adam,” my voice was begging him.

He stood, walked to the window, and stared out.

“Adam, look at me. Can you honestly walk away from us?” His shoulders rose and fell. His head fell forward. When he turned around he looked tormented. We met at the bed and both laid down on our stomachs next to each other. He moved his arm so it was between us and I let mine sink in on top of his.

“I love you, Annie. No matter what happens, I need you to know that.”

I never knew love could feel this intense or that I could love Adam any more deeply. It was frightening and beautiful all at the same time. To need someone that much was terrifying, but then I looked at Adam,
my
Adam, and I knew that was where I belonged.
This is how it's supposed to be.
We stayed staring into each others eyes until I fell asleep.

Chapter 8

“So is he here with you?” Jeremy looked around me the next morning after English class.

“Yes. I told you, he's always with me.”

He shook his head. “This is too weird.” Then his eyes got wide and it looked like an idea came to him, “Hey, is that why you get such good grades? Can he get the answers for you?” His voice was full of excitement.

I laughed, “He could, but he won't. Believe me, I've tried. He takes too much pride in my grades to let me cheat.”

“Bummer,” he looked so crushed, I laughed harder. I even heard Adam let out a snicker.

“Did you really mean what you said yesterday, about helping us?”

“Yup.”

“Good, I need you to get into hospital records for us.”

“I don't know, hacking into hospitals isn't easy.”

“Oh,” my heart fell, “So you can't do it?”

“I didn't say that, it's just not going to be easy.”

A huge smile broke out on my face, “When can we get started?”

“After school, we can go to my house. We should know by tonight.”

I squealed with delight while jumping up and throwing my arms around his neck to kiss his cheek. “Thank you!”

He wrapped his arms around my waist. “Don't mention it.” He gave me a cocky grin, “I've been wanting to get you in my room since the first day of school when I watched you lick caramel of your finger.”

I lifted an eyebrow, “This whole time I thought it was my charm you liked.” I pretended to look hurt.

“Definitely not that,” he teased. “You're not that charming.”

I frowned, “What about my popularity status? Surely that had something to do with it?”

“Nope, I'm pretty sure it had a lot to do with your rack.”

“Tell him he better watch it,” Adam said behind me.

I dropped my arms from around Jeremy's neck and he let go of my waist.

“He said something just now didn't he?”

“Yes.”

“I could tell! It all makes sense now. You get this look on your face sometimes that I could never figure out. It used to bug me. It was him. It was you listening to him. What did he say?”

“He doesn't like us flirting. He wanted you to back off.”

“Among other things,” Adam grumbled.

“He just said something else, your eyes give it away!” He was so proud of himself. Then he started laughing, “That's funny, him telling me to back off. What can he do about it?”

Adams fists clenched together, “You're not going to his house today. We will find another way. No way in hell am I letting you spend the afternoon in his bedroom.”

“What did he say now?”

“He doesn't want me to go to your house.”

“Of course he doesn't!” Jeremy rested his arm around my shoulders, “It would drive me crazy if I was him.” He gave a smug smile. He was enjoying himself too much. He kissed my head, “Your hair smells amazing.”

I pushed him away, “Don't be like that.”

He raised both hands, “What? I was just making a comment.”

I glared at him, “You know exactly what you were doing.”

Jeremy chuckled, “Just trying to prove a point.” He started walking to his next class.

“What point?” He ignored me and kept walking.

“He's trying to prove to me that I have no control,” came Adam's cold reply,” Which he's right, what can I do to stop him?”

********

“Anna, wait up!” Haley was trying to catch up to me before I entered the library. “Everyone's talking about you and Jeremy, and how this morning you two were all over each other after class. I've never been prouder! Seniors are coming up to me to talk, wanting to know if the rumors are true. Charlotte is fuming. She's had a crush on him from day one, and it's driving her crazy that he's your boyfriend.”

“He's not my boyfriend. He's helping me with a project.”

“Whatever, details. It doesn't matter. I don't see what the big fuss is over him, but I'm glad they think you two are a couple. People are forgetting about what happened. They are viewing you as the 'dark mysterious girl' who snagged the hottest boy in school.  It's making them talk about what a badass you are for coming to school smashed,” she giggled. “It's a little pathetic how easy they are to mislead.”

“You can tell them I'm going to his house after school and his parents won't be home.”

“Oh my gawd, Anna! You're the best! Charlotte is going to die.” She hugged me before scurrying off to tell someone the latest gossip.

“Why did you tell her that? Do you want people to think you're together?” Adam looked hurt.

When we got to our library table I took out my notebook.

No, but I wanted to help Haley out.

“Since when?”

Since she stood up for me numerous times at school last week.

I might not have understood her need to be popular but I felt I owed her one.

********

Jeremy's room surprised me. I expected to find pictures of half naked women, dirty plates, and piles of clothes on the floor. Instead, I found three guitars placed in a corner, a keyboard, a stack of vintage records, and CDs.  He had some kind of gaming system with piles of games by a huge flat screen television. His bed was a messy pile of sheets and blankets. Posters of different movies and bands hung on his walls. The thing that caught my eye from the moment I entered was his computer setup. He had three monitors with all kinds of equipment surrounding them. I didn't recognize a thing, but it looked impressive.

Jeremy walked over and patted his computer, “This is Lucy, the love of my life. We've had some good times together.”

“I bet you have.”

He didn't catch my mocking tone, he was too busy admiring his computer. I will never understand the attachment people get to their stuff.

He sat down in his computer chair, which can only be described as “an evil villain's throne as he imparts destruction.”

“Okay, lets get started,” he had a mischievous grin as he cracked his knuckles and stretched out his neck.

I took a seat at the edge of his bed. Adam was moving around the room, inspecting anything and everything his eyes came across.

“To narrow it down, we need to do some research to find out who we think he is.”

“We've done all that before. Nothing comes up.” I prayed that it wouldn't matter and Jeremy could still help us.

“Have you tried looking into wealthy families with a son in a coma?” He started typing words I couldn't read.

“Well, we tried coma patients the other night, but we have no idea where it might have taken place or where he's from-” I started to say more, but Adam interrupted me.

“Wait, ask him why he added wealthy families when he asked you about previous research.” He had stopped whatever he was looking at and went to stand next to Jeremy.

“Adam wants to know why you mentioned wealthy families?”

“If he is in a coma you would have to be mighty rich to afford hospital care for eight years.”

“Wow, he's good. He already has up several tabs about predominate families around the area and state.”

I got up to stand on Jeremy's other side. I was beginning to feel hopeful.

“Ask Adam if any of these names ring a bell.” He pulled up several articles and placed them side by side.

“He's standing on your other side, just so you know. But no, none of them trigger anything.”

Jeremy looked to his left and shook his head, “Kinda creepy knowing someone's there watching but you can't see or feel them.”

We had no luck finding articles on wealthy families with a son in a coma.

“Now what?” My earlier optimism was evaporating.

“Hold on, don't give up yet. Geesh, such doubt in my abilities.” Jeremy started pulling up any information he could find on the wealthiest families around the lake we met at. We looked at countless family photos with name captions on the bottom, but none of them looked like Adam or had his name.

“Wait, go back. There,” I pointed my finger at a picture.

“It's a man and his wife at a fundraiser,” Adam looked confused.

“I know, but look at the caption.”

It read: New research wing dedicated to neurology will be made possible thanks to William and Louisa Kenward's generous donation of one-point-five million dollars.

“First, they obviously have a crap load of money, and second, wouldn't parents with a child in a coma be overly interested in brain research?”

“Brilliant, Annie!” Adam's eyes lit up.

Jeremy started researching any information on the Kenwards he could find. Apparently their wealth came from William's father, a leading entrepreneur of failing hotels and resorts. We read numerous articles in the next hour on mergers and buyouts, but still hadn't come across anything regarding their children.

“Here's something from this past summer,” Jeremy said, enlarging the article.

It was a small article about boy and girl twins who graduated with honors from a well known private school a few hours from us, Asher and Alexia Kenward, children of William Kenward of Kenward Enterprises. It went on to tell how they would be attending Harvard in the fall. The article also had a picture of them and their family after the graduation ceremony. I read the caption underneath: Left to right, Alyssa, Louisa, Asher, Alexia, William; son Adam not in attendance.

We all stared silently at the screen. I was trying to keep my breathing steady, but it was coming out sounding like a bull right before he charges. We did it. We found out who Adam was. I glanced over at him and we stared at each other, speechless. He looked back at the screen.

“That's my family,” his voice sounded constricted and the words came out full of emotion. “I have siblings.” He leaned in closer to get a better look, “They look like me.”

They did look like him. It gave me chills. I couldn't fully absorb that I was staring at Adam's family. It all felt so surreal. Jeremy printed out the article and handed it to me.

“It's a shame your family’s a bunch of slackers.” Jeremy’s voice sounded so serious that I started snorting with laughter (not my sexiest look). Both boys watched me for a moment and then joined in. We couldn’t stop. The room had been tense for so long it felt good to let go.

Eventually we calmed down and Jeremy went back to researching more information, but they were highly secretive about their personal lives. Jeremy said it wasn't uncommon for people with their kind of wealth to keep personal matters hidden. He decided to get busy finding what hospital Adam might be in.

Jeremy sat hunched over the keyboard, fiercely typing and clicking his mouse with lightning speed. He looked like a completely different person when he was in his computer world. His normal “indifferent bad boy” persona was replaced with a focused man, unaware of anything but what he was trying to achieve.

I grew restless waiting, so I started on my Spanish homework; I needed a distraction. Adam just stared at the picture of his family I had left on the bed for him.

“Piece of cake!” Jeremy exclaimed, leaning back in his chair and resting his hands behind his head.

“You're done already?” I hopped off the bed and stood behind him.

Adam took a sharp breath. He looked exhausted which bothered me.“Tell him to read what he knows.”

“Read it.” The belly flops and surge of adrenaline I felt were at an all time high.

“On July sixth Adam was brought in by an ambulance after getting a blow to the head from a reckless driver that hit him while he was crossing the street outside his home. The charts are endless, covering everything from daily treatment to information about the two failed experimental drugs that almost killed him; the last one was given to him the Monday he disappeared.”

I stared at Adam, waiting for a response, but he seemed too overwhelmed to talk. The need to comfort him consumed me.

“What hospital is he at?”

“You're in luck. It's the hospital close to his house, which is only a few hours from here. He was receiving care from home, but he's in the hospital now recovering from the failed drug.”