Behind a Closed Door (The Estate, Book 2) (18 page)

‘The photos aren’t to show everyone, Debbie,’ Josie told her as she moved towards him. ‘It’s further evidence that he hasn’t got a bad back. Ray, have you got a minute?’

Ray turned towards Josie but continued to walk through into the office. ‘Not enough of them in the day with scrotes like Maddox allowed to get away with benefit fraud.’

For once, Josie was in agreement with him. ‘We got him in the end,’ she said as she drew nearer to him. They walked through together into the main office. ‘It’s Amy Cartwright that I want to talk to you about.’

Ray stopped at his desk, picking up a message left for him on a notepad. ‘Bloody pathetic.’ He ripped it from the spine, crunched it into a ball and lobbed it at the waste paper bin. ‘They always ring after you’ve arranged to see them yet there was no one in when I called. Well, no one who’d open the door, anyway. What about Amy Cartwright?’

‘I saw her earlier and she was a bit off when I mentioned that you’d been out to sort her heating.’

Ray shrugged his shoulders. ‘She caught me on one of my better days. She called in at the office to see Doug but he wasn’t in so I went instead. Call me a Good Samaritan, if you want.’

Josie sat down at her desk in front of him. ‘So why did she look so awkward when I mentioned your name? You didn’t give her a hard time because she’d broken something, did you?’

Ray stretched his arms above his head before flexing his fingers noisily. ‘Now, now, Josie, you know me better than that.’

Josie sighed. Yes she did, that was the trouble.

‘What did you say to upset her?’

‘Nothing.’

‘Ray, you seem to forget, I’ve worked with you for years.’

‘Amy’s a thicko, she’ll tell you anything. The only reason I went round at all was to stop me from having to go and see that Neblin bloke of yours. His son’s been causing grief and the last time I called I had the whole street on my back moaning at me. So, if you must know, I went to save myself some aggro. Anyway, it’s sorted now, so what’s the problem?’

‘The problem is you’ve upset her.’ Josie reached for her phone to retrieve her voicemail messages as Irene, Sonia and Debbie burst in through the doors, still laughing about Derek Maddox. ‘The next time you go to see her, let me know and I’ll come with you. It’s taken me ages to build a rapport with her. The last thing I need is for you to break the trust – and don’t call her a thicko.’

Ray’s chair scraped across the flooring as he stood up abruptly. ‘Back off, Josie. Just because you look after all the waifs and strays doesn’t mean I have to give the same customer care.’

‘I –’

He threw his hands up into the air. ‘No, don’t worry, miss do-gooder. The next time Amy Cartwright needs something, I’ll let you sort it out from the beginning. It’s less hassle.’

 Josie flicked two fingers up as he walked off. Sometimes it was like working in a nursery, not an office.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

That Wednesday evening, Kelly slid a thin ham and mushroom pizza into the oven for herself and Emily and a crunchy pepperoni one for Jay. It was her first night off in ages, due to a change of shift with one of the early girls. Jay was due in fifteen minutes and Emily was helping her to arrange the salad in a bowl – or rather, she had been for a minute or so, before rushing off.

‘Jay’s here!’ Emily shouted through the door. ‘Can I let him in?’

‘Only because I know it’s Jay, young lady, else the rule still stands.’

As Emily bounded down the stairs to let him in, Kelly rushed across to the mirror and checked her appearance before he came into the room. He smiled and held out a bottle of wine. ‘This calls for a celebration – your first night off.’

‘That and the fact that the sun’s been shining today. I actually took off my jacket this morning when I went to the shops!’

‘We’re having pizza,’ Emily cried. She put both her tiny feet onto Jay’s booted ones and balanced on them as he walked across the room. Laughing as she giggled, Jay lifted her up and threw her playfully onto the settee.

Once the pizza had been demolished, Jay topped up their glasses while Kelly got Emily into bed.

‘At last,’ Kelly sighed when she eventually joined him again. ‘I tell you, that girl has got be the chattiest kid I know. I can’t wait for her to start school to give me some peace.’

‘Don’t give me that, you’ll miss her like crazy.’

Kelly sat down. ‘I know. I’ll – I’ll miss you too when Scott gets back. I can’t believe he’ll be home in a few days.’

‘I hope he keeps out of trouble this time. He needs to calm down and think of what he might lose if he gets caught again. I –’

‘You think he’s shit, don’t you?’ Kelly clipped. ‘You thought he’d serve the full sentence because he wouldn’t be able to stay out of trouble. Well, he’s not a Kirkwell.’

‘Ouch.’ Jay turned away from Kelly’s fierce stare for a moment. ‘I didn’t mean it to sound so nasty. It’s just that I’m going to miss you.’

‘Sorry.’ Kelly grinned, instantly friends with him again. ‘I was thinking earlier how it won’t be the same. There’ll be no more pizzas,’ she raised her glass in the air, ‘no more bottles of wine to share, no more nights watching
Cougar
or
Gossip Girl
. Scott hates that type of thing. He’s into serial killers, blood, snot and the likes. It’s rare I get to watch girlie things. It’s been a pleasure to –’

Without warning, Jay leaned forward. Time seemed to suspend as he stared directly into Kelly’s eyes. His face contorted as if in pain. Quickly, he stood up and moved away.

‘I can’t do this anymore,’ he said.

‘Why? It’s early yet.’ Kelly picked up the bottle of wine, indicating that it was still half full.

‘No, I mean I can’t be with you anymore. This is killing me. I thought I could handle things but everything’s gone weird now. I need to keep my wits about me. You’re Scott’s girl, my
mate’s
girl. I’ve got no right to feel the way I do.’

All at once, the penny dropped for Kelly.

Jay sat back down again. He took her hands in his own. ‘I can’t help myself, Kel. I think about you all the time. I can’t wait to pick you up from work every night, I go crazy over the weekends without you.’

‘But you’ve taken me – us – out for the last two Sundays… Oh.’ Kelly pulled her hands away.

‘I shouldn’t have, but I wanted to be with you. I thought I could handle it, but now I realise that… oh, fuck. I’m just going to come right out and say it. I realise that I love you.’

The last few words came out in a whisper but Kelly heard every one as if Jay had shouted them from the top of the Empire State building.

‘I know I can give you so much more than Scott,’ he continued. ‘You’re a great mum, you’ve started work to earn your keep, to make a difference, and you’ve
survived
. Most women would have sat cowering in a corner waiting for their partners to come back.’

Kelly sat in silence, unable to speak.

‘You deserve far better than him,’ Jay added.

She laughed harshly. ‘Like you, you mean? Don’t beat about the bush, Jay.’

He touched Kelly’s cheek again, ever so slightly, like a feather floating past. ‘I can’t stop thinking about you.’

‘But you’re Scott’s mate!’

Jay grimaced. ‘I can’t stop thinking about that either.’

‘No,’ Kelly shook her head, ‘you can’t. And you shouldn’t.’

‘But have you ever stopped to think about why I’m his mate? It’s because I wanted to keep an eye on you. I know what Scott gets up to.’

‘But you do it too!’ Realising the living room door stood ajar, Kelly quickly closed it for fear of waking Emily. As she came back to stand in front of the fire, she shook her head, trying to rid it of all the confusion. How could Jay sit there and make out that Scott was worse than him, just because he hadn’t been caught that night? And why say it now? Was he only doing it to cover up his feelings – his guilt, perhaps? Taking her off the scent by trying to put the blame on Scott?

But it wasn’t Scott’s fault that his mate had fallen for his woman. And it wasn’t Scott’s fault that Kelly had led Jay on. Because that’s what she’d done, hadn’t she?

‘You’re just like him,’ she said, if only to reassure herself.

Jay rubbed his hands over his face before looking up at her. ‘But I’m not – you’ve got to believe me.’

‘You’ve got a reputation on the estate for being a hard bastard! No one wants to start on a Kirkwell.’

‘That’s because I’ve had to defend myself because of who my brothers
are
. Men pick fights
because
of who I am. That’s all it is. I’ve never stolen anything, and I’ve never done a job with Scott either.’

Kelly sat silent for a moment, puzzled by what he’d said. ‘I thought you always went with him,’ she said eventually.

Jay shook his head. ‘No! How many more times do I have to tell you?’

‘But you warned him off the last job. I heard you talking in the kitchen – you said it was too risky.’

‘That’s because it
was
too risky. I didn’t want to see you suffer. I warned Stevie and Michael but they never listened either.’

Kelly was confused as she tried to work out the finer details. Scott had done lots of jobs with the Kirkwell brothers. Had she assumed that Jay was involved when he wasn’t? She thought back to Josie defending his actions after she’d been attacked.

Had she been wrong?

She sat down next to him again. ‘Tell me what’s going on.’

‘You know I’m the youngest brother,’ Jay explained. ‘I’ve had to live in their shadows for years. You’re not the first person to think I’d be involved. But I swear to you, I’m not. What they do makes me sick. I haven’t got time for petty thieves. They think they don’t hurt people, people like you and me, but they do. For every factory they do over, hard working people lose their jobs. For every car they steal to move on, someone’s stranded. It’s not as easy as the insurance paying out.

‘When I heard about the last job, I tried to warn them all, but they wouldn’t listen. I knew they wouldn’t pull it off and it’d be up to me to pick up the pieces again. My mum’s really upset about it. She never brought up four children for two of them to be drop-outs. Michael’s been in the nick so many times, it’ll be ages before he gets out.’

Kelly watched as Jay struggled with his emotions.

‘You haven’t got a clue what it’s done to our family over the years. I didn’t want that for you.’ Jay chanced a quick glance at her. ‘Nor Emily.’

For a split second, Kelly understood where Jay was coming from. Then she remembered something else.

‘That money,’ she said. ‘That five hundred pounds – did Scott give it to you or was it yours to start with?’

Jay shook his head. ‘It was mine. I thought it’d help you out.’

Kelly groaned. Finally she began to understand what he was talking about. Jay
was
racked with guilt: for what his brothers had brought on his parents, for what Scott had brought on her, and, most of all, for his feelings towards another man’s woman. She shuddered involuntarily. How had she not seen this happening, right underneath her nose? Stupidly, she’d enjoyed Jay’s company more and more and, in the back of her mind, knew he was spending far too much time with her. Simply doing a favour for a mate wasn’t what was happening.

And because she’d missed Scott so much, she’d taken Jay as a substitute, a replacement, until Scott was ready to return. She was entirely to blame for letting it happen, when it clearly shouldn’t have.

As Jay pleaded with his eyes, begging her to talk, Kelly didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t give him what he wanted, yet she couldn’t tell him what he didn’t want to hear.

But staying silent did it for her. With one last look, Jay stood up and walked out of the room. Tears pouring down her cheeks, Kelly had no choice but to let him.

At nine thirty, Kelly dialled Jay’s mobile number again. She had to know that everything was all right. It was the last thing she wanted on Tuesday. Scott was bound to ask Jay to pick him up from prison and she needed no awkwardness between them. She had to make sure there was nothing that would make Scott suspicious, make him wonder what had been going on.

She knew she should be happy that Scott was coming home soon but all she could think about was Jay – how she’d hurt his feelings, betrayed his trust and, in a strange, yet totally unknown way, used him. She hadn’t meant to – that had hurt the most.

As the call switched to voicemail yet again, Kelly flung her phone down onto the settee in a fit of anger.

But Jay was no more than a hundred yards away. He was parked a few houses down, on the opposite side of Clarence Avenue. Not for the first time, his thoughts switched to what could be going on behind the closed curtains. Was Kelly making herself nice, ready for Scott to come home?

He waited for his phone to stop ringing before he picked it up. Kelly’s messages said that she wanted to talk, to clear the air. Jay wanted to talk to her so badly, even if his words would be empty. Over the last few hours, his feelings had heightened, yet he fought with his conscience. Kelly belonged to Scott. He’d had no right to put her in that predicament, but he hadn’t been able to stop himself.