Being Emerald (20 page)

He took her stairs two at a time. “Laila? It’s just me,” he warned. By the time he reached the top, though, he knew she wasn’t there. The house gave off the ambiance of vacancy, the sheer silence of emptiness.

He strode across the street to his home and entered through the front door. He checked both upstairs and down. She wasn’t there either.

The speaker that had been reporting the goings on, or lack thereof, in Morgan’s office for the last two months was gone. He stared at the empty spot. His heartbeat boomed in his chest, and dread, descended, cloaking him with a darkness so complete, he wasn’t sure he’d feel the light of day on his face again.

He stood in his kitchen for an hour, on edge and trying not to jump to conclusions about her wellbeing. As with most people born Amber, staying positive was a daily struggle. He’d never been the kind of man to look at the glass as half full, but tonight, he tried. Just because he wasn’t with her, watching her, protecting her, didn’t mean she would be dead in the morning, right?

He shook his head. God, she was so much like Emily. A mischievous spirit with a Technicolor soul. The heart wants what it wants, and Rock was never attracted to women who were too easy. There was no satisfaction in achieving their level of intimacy if all of it was simply handed to him. A relationship like theirs meant so much more when it was worked for, earned through trial and error, sweat and tears. This was certainly the case with Laila.

Unfortunately, this particular trait of hers left him tied up in knots. He hadn’t slept, and knew he wouldn’t. Not there, waiting for her to show up. And, if he didn’t sleep before they left the city walls, he’d be putting them both in jeopardy.

Rock strode across his yard, got into to his truck and headed back to Oz. He’d at least try to cram in a few hours before their go time.

As he drove to the compound, he could barely breathe through his tight chest and sudden rigidity of his muscles. He didn’t know whether to be distraught or furious at her disappearance, but the intensity of all the negative emotions clamoring for expression left him mindless and aggressive, like the barely leashed attack dogs the Guard used to terrorize the population.

When he finally lay on his bedroll underneath the stars again, he reviewed his day. He was certain she wasn’t being defiant to gain his attention. Not on such an important night.

She hadn’t been angry the last time they’d been together. They’d made love after he’d given her the choker. She had been nervous, however. At the time, he had chalked it up to anticipation for the start of the mission. Now he knew differently.

There was only one option that made any sense to him whatsoever. She was finishing her work for the Resistance. If this was true, whatever she was doing was dangerous, and she didn’t want him involved. He sorted through a blitz of possible scenarios, each worse than the one before. His blood pressure rose, the rapidly moving blood heating his cheeks.

He’d told her she was finished with her Resistance work. He was dismayed and proud she was able to hide the fact she wasn’t. She’d learned well the skills he’d taught her. A smile flickered through him, and his heart swelled with intense love for the woman who tried to protect him. She would rather sacrifice herself and suffer his consequences than put him in a dangerous position.

Sweet, but wrong. Very, very wrong. The rest of his early morning hours contained a non-stop struggle to gain rest when his mind couldn’t slow down enough to allow sleep.

As night turned into day, unfamiliar workers streamed in through OZ’s checkpoint. They set up a stage with a podium centered in front and chairs behind. Morgan was making their departure into a spectacle. It fit his pattern. Morgan’s portrayal of himself as Mr. Patriotic was what made him a shoe-in to take over for his father. It had been and still was his cover, although nobody believed it much anymore.

Rock continued to check the time, waiting for Laila to show up, while a flurry of activity centered around their trucks.

Concern transformed to torment after the sun was fully up and their departure time drew close. He was on the verge of panic-fueled rampage when, finally, he spotted her walking toward the checkpoint to get into OZ. He checked the time again. She’d cut it way too close. They were scheduled to leave in less than half an hour.

When the Guard waved her through, he collected his bedroll and slung it over his shoulder. Before leaving the roof, Rock looked north, toward the Circle City’s tall buildings. He’d spent so many hours on that roof, staring at the place he’d so badly wanted to be. Knowing he would never be back, he burned the moment into his brain and said a final goodbye to everyone he’d leave behind there.

When he reached the ground, he wasn’t sure where Laila had gone, so he moved to the trucks where they were lined up and waiting to leave.

He finally caught sight of her exiting the main building, geared up from head to toe, including the Kevlar vest he’d taken off her their first day of training. His heart ran the emotional gamut. Relief, anticipation, anger—they were all there vying for center stage so they could play out.

One of the video stream reporters stepped up to Laila, shoving a microphone in her face. She was gracious, answering questions for a few minutes, until Morgan approached her and led her up the few steps to the stage. She sat in a chair behind him, along with Sydney and Garret.

Morgan, dressed in his usual military uniform, said, “Good morning,” into the microphone, and the small crowd silenced.

This event was staged more for the video feed than anything else. Morgan couldn’t pass up the opportunity to tell the people of New Atlanta how much he cared about this country.

Rock tuned out the General’s blabber and focused on Laila. She looked uncomfortable, twisting her hands while they rested in her lap. She smiled when she caught sight of him and that seemingly innocent action triggered something in him.

Instantly, he was angry. She sat there and fucking smiled at him as if she hadn’t been out all night breaking her promises. She thought she’d pulled one over on him, snuck behind his back. Like Emily had.

With that thought, his rage found its stride, and his patience found its end.

She flinched under the cold stare he pinned on her. The slight smile and pink cheeks she’d had when she first exited the building transformed into pale trepidation.

Minutes later, the small crowd was clapping in response to Morgan’s send-off. Laila shook Morgan’s hand and descended the steps, heading toward him.

She took a steady breath and schooled her expression into a pleasant smile as she approached. “Good morning.”

He glared at her, sending her every ounce of disapproval he possessed.

“Please, this is a big day for me, Rock.”

He ground his teeth together, and then he nodded. “Hold.” He turned and pounded the pavement to the lead truck, where Garret and Sydney waited.

“We’re a go if you are,” Rock said to Garret.

Garret gave him the thumbs up. “Copy that.”

Rock returned to their truck and got in on the driver’s side. Laila, however, did not. With both hands dangling from the steering wheel by their fingertips, Rock lowered his forehead to meet them and sighed. “Now you hold?” he said into the empty cab, scooted across to the passenger seat and jumped out the passenger door.

“Come on.” He held a hand out to Laila. When she advanced, he gripped her around the waist and lifted her into the cab.

They didn’t say a word to each other as they proceeded through the Emerald checkpoint and out of New Atlanta. Rock intended to stay that way. He knew if they spoke now, it would dampen this experience for her, and this expedition was something she’d been working her whole adult life for. No, he would not do that to her.

The strange satisfaction he got from knowing he could discipline her later was absent. Rock swore a silent curse. He was flustered, which was even more disconcerting because it was an emotion he didn’t experience often. He needed time to process. Luckily, they had nothing but time.

Her proximity didn’t help rid him of his irritable mood. It only made it worse. She smelled so vanilla-ish—delicious, like a cookie. His mouth watered. Rock forced himself to stop, to shut down. No miscellaneous thought. He was good at that particular skill.

Laila made a couple of futile attempts at conversation, but he shut her down quickly and made it apparent he wasn’t interested in talking. What followed was hours in that cab. Hours he used to plan.

Her behavior warranted punishment. Something that would make his feelings known, yet not completely derail her and cast a negative pall over this pivotal day in her life. It took him a while to weave what should be a significant punishment into something that wouldn’t ruin the fulfillment of her dream. They were almost to their first destination, when he’d decided how the night would play out.

With the burden of Laila’s Resistance responsibilities lifted, her relief was staggering. She would no longer be forced to lie to Rock. Finally, there would be no secrets between them, at least not on her end. She took in a deep, lung-cleansing breath and blew out the last of her tension from the night before. Now, she could concentrate on her life’s work and what came next.

As they sped down the overgrown road, leading away from New Atlanta, Rock’s wall was up and fortified. He’d found out she, again, wasn’t where she was supposed to have been. Still, she had no worries. He loved her unconditionally and last night would blow over.

On several occasions during the drive, she tried to open the dialogue between them, wanting to smooth the waters. Rock’s responses were short and curt. She had a lot of silent time to think about the hours of conversation with Journey. She was ashamed of her initial catty reaction when she’d found out about the woman’s former relationship with Rock. After talking with her longer than she should have, Laila realized the woman was genuinely sweet. She spoke softly and obviously cared a lot about Rock’s happiness. By the end of what ultimately turned into a heart to heart conversation, the sun had risen and her jealousy was re-cast, with respect taking its place.

Journey lost everything when Rock was transferred to Emerald, and she risked it all for the opportunity to say thank you for the years he’d taken care of her. And, though she never admitted it, she was there to say goodbye, too. Laila didn’t know why Rock hadn’t told her he was leaving New Atlanta. It didn’t make sense because he’d pushed hard to develop the connection between them. They’d built harmony, a meeting of the minds and hearts. It was a rush she never wanted to live without.

Laila took in the scenery as Rock put the miles behind them. Dense vegetation, separated by vast parking lots, vacant retail stores and restaurants, skirted the highway. They passed under a faded profession of love spray painted on a bridge.
Jack and Brie 4-ever
. The sign remained after a quarter century while the lovers never had a chance. Entire traffic jams of cars were pushed to the side so their armored trucks could drive past. She glimpsed animals she’d only seen pictures of, like deer and pigs, and imagined what it must have been like to drive that road pre-pandemic.

Hours passed and her thoughts circled, landing on Rock again and again. She feared last night might have been his breaking point. She’d been more trouble for him than anything else. Maybe he didn’t want her anymore. And even though she’d made the right decisions, she feared she’d have to live a lifetime with the consequences. Especially now, after her conversation with Journey, she actually had confirmation it wasn’t so bad giving everything to him.

She laid her head back and closed her eyes. Opening herself to him, she felt nothing, just the Rock wall. He did that frequently since he’d found out her secret.

After an entire leg of their journey spent with his total disconnect and blaring silence between them, she realized she’d rather feel his anger than nothing. He sat so close without a touch or a word. It was as if a piece of her was missing. By the time they reached the secured rest stop just outside Greensboro, she was bereft. Even though he sat next to her, she missed him.

The rest stop, where they would spend the night, was secure, surrounded by chain link fence, and topped with barbed wire. This was the standard stopping point for the first day when the recovery missions were traveling long distances to the north.

Rock, Garret and Sydney went about securing the trucks and checking the fence, making sure there hadn’t been a breach. Before long, a fire blazed and the last fresh meat they’d eat for a while was thrown on a grate over the flames. Neither Garret nor Sydney seemed to notice Rock was being, well…himself.

She still had important messages from Journey. He wouldn’t be expecting them and therefore wouldn’t wait to hear them before he left for the drop-house. She knew it was near this place. He stood about five feet away tending to the fire with a charred stick, ignoring her.

Garret set a cement block down near her. “Come on. Sit.” Then he placed another one near the first and sat on it. A disgusted snort erupted from Sydney then she walked away from the group.

Laila became engrossed in a conversation with Garret about the art and artifacts they would retrieve in DC. Rock watched them as they sat close together, focusing on each other. She felt his possessiveness. He didn’t hide it well, or he’d lowered his wall a little.

After they ate, Rock walked Laila back to the truck. Maybe he’d settled enough to talk. “Rock?”

He gave her the signal for silence. When they reached the back of the truck, he gave her the hold signal and deserted her without saying a word.

Her gorgeous man was shunning her, she realized, as he left her there and returned to the security detail. Supposedly, Garret and Sydney were lead on this mission. Providing security for the recovered items was considered most important. Though Rock’s only assignment was to protect her, he had a way of commanding authority no matter who he was with, Garret and Sydney included.

Rock returned to Laila and met her gaze for the first time since they left New Atlanta. He looked tired. “I’m going to be leaving for a bit. Stay by the truck. Garret and Sydney will be covering my protection duties.”