Being Emma (15 page)

* * *

Once she was back in town, Janie headed for
the ranch. She couldn’t quite face Diane just yet and she wasn’t
sure what to say to Craig. At this time, in her moment of real
uncertainly, Janie wanted to talk to her mother. Lily had a
commanding sense of just what was going on with her children, but
the good sense not to pry – too much… Since Janie would be on duty
at night this week, she drove home from San Francisco on Monday
morning. That gave her time to poke along, think, and think some
more. It was unknown territory she was in and she didn’t mean
California…

Parking in the front driveway, she went in
the front door and yelled for anyone. No one called back, so she
went through the house to the back yard, where she found Sandy and
Lily out by the side corrals. Sandy was saddling his horse. She was
glad to see them.

“Hey…” Janie waved as she walked back to
them.

“Hey yourself, stranger,” her dad called
back. Lily smiled at her. When Janie was close enough, Lily gave
her a big hug.

“… Missed you, sweetie. How was the visit
with Meg?” Sometimes, thought Janie, it was nice to go where things
were not so complicated. Her parents’ ranch was one of those
places.

“We had a good time. Carter was great, as
always… God, does that guy have any flaws?” Sandy laughed.

“Actually, we all do… Hate to be the first
one to tell you.” She grinned at her dad. She looked around.

“What’s going on?”

“Your dad’s trying to decide when to have the
roundup this year. It’s spring and most of the calves have been
born, so he and Jason are thinking it over.”

“Jason… How is our illustrious foreman? I
haven’t seen him or Amy in a while.”

“They’re good. Everyone’s fine.” She lowered
her voice. “You heard about Joey and Anna, didn’t you?”

“Not the final outcome. Is he leaving for New
Mexico?”

“Oh, he left yesterday. Anna didn’t go with
him.” Janie was surprised.

“… Why not? I thought they were serious about
one another.”

“So did we all, except for Joey, apparently.
He must have some Miles in him after all.” Sandy turned around.

“Discussing Joey? I think he did her wrong.
If he had asked me, I would have told him to do the right thing.”
Lily glanced at him.

“The right thing for you might not be the
right thing for Joey.” He shrugged.

“… Maybe…Still seems like he handled it
wrong.” He turned to Janie.

“You know Bill and I are leaving for Vegas on
Thursday, right?”

“Sure.”

“When are you and Craig flying down?” Lily
kicked him softly in the leg. He looked at her puzzled. “What? Did
I say something wrong?”

Janie laughed. “It’s okay, Mom. I get that
all the time and from everyone.”

She turned to her dad. “I believe we’re
coming down on Friday. And Dad…”

“Yeah?”

“Please don’t ask me anything more about
Craig until I get it figured out. Trust me… You and Mom will be the
first people to know. All right?”

He stood up straight and looked at his lovely
daughter. She was so much like him physically, but had Lily’s
temperament. Janie had always been her own person and needed to
figure things out for herself. She had made mistakes that way, but
her decisions were hers alone. And she sure took her sweet time
making some of those decisions. This apparently was one of those
times. Still, he admired her for it…

“All right, sweetie. Let me know.” Then he
turned to Lily. “I’ve got to go see Jason about the calving and the
roundup. See you later, sweetheart.” He kissed her, got on his
horse and then dipped his cowboy hat at them.

“Ladies…” And he galloped off to meet up with
his foreman.

Janie and Lily watched him go. “Cowboys…”
They both sighed and then Lily looked at her.

“How about Scottish accountants who
occasionally act like cowboys?”

“Mom…” Lily laughed and put her arm around
her.

“Come on, Janie. Let’s head for the house and
a beer. Maybe you’ll tell me your troubles and maybe you won’t. At
least we can enjoy a beer together. How’s that?” Janie grinned
broadly at her lovely mother.

“Perfect…” They walked back to the ranch
house together.

Lily and Janie had talked all around the
subject for a while now. Janie told her about her trip to see Meg,
Carter and cute little Sofia. She had compared Sofia with Colt’s
three children and Jesse’s two. And she had posed the question: Are
ranch children wilder than city children? They laughed about that,
while trading opinions. She also needed to get the tee shirts over
to the kids, before she forgot and left them all in the back seat
of her car. They were sitting comfortably on one of the huge sofas
in the family room drinking a couple of beers.

They discussed the archery competition, which
finally brought Craig into the subject at hand. It was hard not to
mention his name now, although Janie tried.

“Honey, you’re squirming and you can’t sit
still. Will you please tell me what’s bothering you?” Pause. “Are
you going to bail on the tournament?”

“No, definitely not. I’m going to go,” Lily
looked hard at her, “and with…”

“Craig… His name is Craig.”

“I know his name, Mom.”

“Then why won’t you say it?”

“…Ah…”

“And Diane called…”

“Diane? What did she say?” Janie was
confused.

“She was worried about you just rushing off
like that and wanted to know if you were all right. She hinted that
she might have been the reason you left. And you didn’t call anyone
while you were gone.”

“What did you tell her?”

“Nothing. I didn’t know. I don’t know now.
Janie…”

“Yes…”

“Tell me what Diane did or said to make you
tear out of town with little forewarning. Craig called me
concerned, since you wouldn’t return his calls.”

“I turned off my phone and took those days to
get my head back on right. It was tilted all out of whack… Meg
helped me put it back on straight.” She smiled at Lily.

She blew out a breath. “Whew… That’s good
news, only what are you talking about? Tell me…” Janie laughed.
Apparently, all the women in her family said that.

So she started the same story she had told
Meg. Beginning with her failed matchmaking attempt with Diane and
Ethan, she continued all the way through Sharon, Mike Church, Diane
again and back to Craig. When she mentioned Mike, Lily interrupted
her.

“You know he left, right?”

“Yes, he called me before leaving town. I
liked him…”

“Craig called me then too. He was afraid
you’d left town with Mike.”

“Wow… Really?”

“Talk about ‘out of whack’…” Lily thought a
minute. “The dance seemed to be a real turning point in all
this.”

“Right. Craig rescued Diane from Ethan’s
snub, which made me happy, until it backfired on me. When Diane
said she had feelings for Craig and that she was going to ask him
out, I panicked, puked and beat it out of here.”

“So that’s what happened.” Janie nodded her
head. “You scared the crap out of Craig again, you know. He was
afraid he had said something to make you leave.”

“For Pete’s sake… Not everything revolves
around Craig…” Janie gave her an exasperated look.

“Oh, it doesn’t? Tell me one decision you’ve
made recently that didn’t have something to do with Craig. Even
dating Mike, you must have known on some level that he would be
affected.”

Janie thought about that. And thought some
more…

“… Mom, I feel like I’m on a precipice…” Lily
waited. “Could I ask you a personal question?”

“Sure, honey… Anything.” Janie took a deep
breath.

“How did you know that you loved Dad?” Lily
smiled.

“… Oh… That’s an easy one… I knew I loved him
when everything we did was better together. I knew I loved him…
when I couldn’t imagine my future without him.” Lily sat up
straighter, reaching into her memory.

“I knew I loved him when he was my last
thought at night and my first in the morning – He still is. And I
knew I loved him when he wanted to have babies as much as I did.
But that’s just us…” Janie was in tears. Lily was getting teary
herself. When Janie didn’t say anything to that, Lily got up to get
them both tissues. Handing her one, Janie tried to talk.

“… Um… I… She couldn’t quite manage it.

“Sweetie… You know Craig loves you, don’t
you?”

“Yes…”

“Good. That’s a start. And he has for a long
time.”

“So you’ve known for a long time?”

“Yes, honey, and so has everyone else with
eyes to see. The man adores you, Janie.”

“Why hasn’t he told me?”

“
Well… he
hasn’t told
me
anything, but
I would venture a guess that he didn’t want to scare you off. And a
good example of that is when Diane breached the gulf of love to
reach you, your immediate reaction was to bolt and run. Craig has
probably been trying to figure this out too. I’ve come to think
that it was good for you to get your feet wet with Mike
Church.”

“Love’s a scary proposition, Mom.”

“But wonderful when you get there. Janie,
aren’t you in love with Craig?”

Janie looked over at her mother. It was the
point of no return. Admitting it to Lily was like admitting it to a
priest. It had to be the truth… She took another deep breath.

“Yes, very much.” The last layer peeled back.
That shiny treasure was public for all to see… Lily let out a
whoosh of breath she’d been holding too. She smiled at her
beautiful daughter who was about to step into a world she hadn’t
known on a conscious level – That of loving and being loved.

“Thank God for that. We’ve been worried sick
around here.”

“Who’s we?”

“… Sandy, me, Mandy, Colt, Jesse, Audrey,
Jeanne, Sam… Do you really need a list?” Janie laughed.

“No, I guess not.”

“Will you tell him soon and put the poor man
out of his current misery?

Colt met him for lunch today, and he’s in a
lather about everything. If he knew you loved him, I bet he’s
settle right down. Men do that, you know.” Lily winked at her.

“So that’s what makes them settle down.
Really?”

“Well… Maybe not always, but it helps.”

They looked at each other for a long
minute.

“I need to go talk to Diane now and then get
ready for work.”

“Will you talk to Craig?”

“As soon as I can…”

“Good enough… Love you, sweetie.” Lily smiled
at her.

“I love you too, Mom… And thanks.” Janie
smiled back.

“You’re welcome.”

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

That night at the Sheriff’s Office, Janie had
caught up on all her paperwork – finally – and decided to get a cup
of coffee from the little kitchen at the station. James and Ethan
were both out on calls, so she had a rare moment to herself. Janie
had called Craig, but he didn’t pick up. She’d left a voicemail
saying that she missed him and would see him Friday at the airport,
if they didn’t connect before then.

Her mind then wandered to the conversation
she’d had with Diane before coming to work. She had gone to her
apartment from the ranch, after speaking with her mother. Lily had
made her feel she could tackle the next obstacle, which was
Diane.

‘“Janie! I was so worried about you! Why
didn’t you return any of my calls?” Diane had rushed up to her and
had given her a big hug.

After she had disentangled herself, Janie
smiled at her. “We need to talk.”

“Okay… What about?”

“Let’s sit down.” They sat at the kitchen
table looking at each other.

“First, I want to thank you.”

Diane blinked in surprise. “You do?”

“Yes, you pushed me right over the edge.” She
gulped.

“I did?”

“… Yes. After you pretended to like Craig,”
she paused to watch Diane turned red, “and that’s what you did,
right?”

“Janie…”

“It’s okay… It worked.”

“How did it work?”

“You shook me up so much that I had to get
out of here. I drove up to Meg’s in San Francisco. Meg forced me to
think about how I really felt about Craig – Something I’ve been
reluctant to do.”

“… And?”

“I had to admit that I’m in love with him.
Meg wouldn’t let me off the hook until I did.”

Diane let out the big breath she’d been
holding. “Oh, thank God! Janie, sometimes you can be so obtuse, but
this thing with Craig has been ridiculous. Why, on this green
earth, couldn’t you see that you were in love with him?”

“I think I’d need a shrink to help me with
that one…”

Diane laughed. “And you must know that he’s
in love with you, right?”

“Yes.”

“The dance proved that to me. I watched the
two of you dancing together. Both of you looked like you had just
gotten lucky. Your faces were glowing and you just looked so happy.
Remember when he kissed your hand?”

“You saw that too?”

“Yes, Mike had gone to get a beer and I
confess I watched you for a long time. I had my fingers crossed.”
She looked shyly at Janie. “You probably don’t know this, but I had
called him to come to the dance.”

Janie’s mouth dropped. “What?”

Diane shrugged her shoulders. “The guy needed
help, Janie. He was looking like a lost puppy dog.” Janie laughed
at that.

“However…”

“There’s a ‘however’?”

“Yes, Craig had scolded me for being Emma
when I tried to match you with Ethan. You need to be scolded too
for being Emma…” She thought for a minute. “But it worked with you,
I guess… Still…”

“Emma?”

“The matchmaker in that Jane Austen
story…”

“Oh, yes… Well, I proudly accept that I was
being Emma. You two belong together…”’

They had hugged again after that and talked
about her broken down car being towed to John Marston’s garage.
John had asked her out again and Diane was beside herself, she was
so thrilled. Janie told Diane that she was a much better Emma than
she had been.