Being Grey (Beings Trilogy) (8 page)

It’s Wednesday already. Jason hasn’t called yet to discuss our date on Friday. I’m not sure if I’m anxious about the fact that he hasn’t called me or the fact that if he doesn’t, we may lose our chance to find the ‘Taker’.

But today is all about shopping with Lady Howard. Yesterday we all met up and just rode the tube until we got bored and decided to go eat and go bowling. I hate bowling. I am terrible at bowling. And do you really think I’m stupid enough to believe one spray of that stinky stuff will sanitize those shoes? I wear three pairs of socks to be sure and try really hard to find a shoe sprayer with a damned
Being
. None of them do which I find hard to believe. I looked like a clown. Three pairs of socks mean a size bigger of those wonderful blue and red monstrosities. I got my fingers jammed in an 8 ball but couldn’t lift the 10 ball. I kept standing over the line, which kept beeping at me. Then, best insult of all time, one of the assistants asked me if I wanted bumpers put up. Stefan literally had to pick me up by the back of my shirt and carry me out of there before I killed a grey
Being
in a public place. Not good.

Between the bowling alley and the tube not having one person with a damned
Being
, I am still convinced we must have had a ‘clouded ability’ day. Usually there are a few in tube stations which isn’t necessarily a good thing. If we dispose of them all on the tracks too often, the authorities would close down the underground.

What am I wearing today? Well, here’s a funny story. Poppy spends all her time in the manor in either jeans or jodhpurs so naturally I dress the same when I’m there. About 8 months ago after we’d been out riding the horses, we get back to the house and Lady Howard tells us to pop upstairs and freshen up because Will is coming over. So off I pop, get showered, pull on a clean pair of jeans and a t-shirt and run back downstairs and get introduced to Will.

Will….iam, Prince William. Next King of
England
. In jeans and a t-shirt and wet straggly hair. It doesn’t even matter that he’ll be King, what matters is that’s he’s so gorgeous it hurts to look at him and I looked like poo. I met the future king with wet straggly hair and a pained expression on my face where I was trying so hard not to burst into tears.

Moral of the story. When Lady Howard is involved, come prepared.

I decide chances of running into Will pretty slim, so a pair of slacks and a nice shirt will be fine. But I do throw a sundress in my bag just in case.

My hair has a natural wave to it but as it’s almost at my waist it’s quite straight. I don’t fuss around with glamorous curls or heated torture tongs today.

Wouldn’t even go to corner shop without my mascara, so slap on a bit more make up than usual and am ready way too early as always so time for a cuppa.

At precisely 10am I hear the car pull up. Poppy is still sleeping and I’ve just left a note saying I’ll call later. I hope Jason doesn’t call when I’m with Lady Howard.

“Hi Parker.”

“Miss Alice. Good to see you as always.”

His name isn’t really Parker. It’s just been a joke forever. Lady Penelope, Parker, Thunderbirds? Never mind.

“We’ll swing by the manor house and collect Lady Howard and then I’ll take you both to
Guildford
. She has some new artwork she’s excited to show you.” He winks in the rear-view mirror.

“Lovely, Can’t wait.” Lady Howard has the most immaculate home. Furniture to die for.
China
that is the envy of Royalty worldwide. Millions of pounds worth of silver. And the most horrendous collection of artwork ever. She does have some fantastic pieces. A few never seen Monet’s, a Picasso but those are the one’s hidden in the attic or a guest bedroom that no one ever sleeps in. If I remember rightly, she once gave Parker a Monet that turned out to be worth twenty million pounds!

But what is on show? It’s indescribable. She visits all the art galleries and if it’s blue, big, ugly and expensive she buys it. Paintings, sculptures, the fountain in the maze. Some very sexual looking paintings also. With big blue…..bits!

I’m scared but its’ also hilarious trying to think of new descriptions other than “It’s very blue.”

We arrive at the manor house just under an hour later.

“
Alice
dear!” Perfunctory air kiss on each cheek. “You look adorable.”

“And you, as always, are the most glamorous woman I’ve ever seen.” I don’t know how black trousers, a little black vest top and a pink cardigan can look like a million dollars but Lady Howard pulls it off every time. Maybe it’s the perfectly coiffed blond hair or the make up that looks like it’s been done by an artist. No. I’ve nailed it. It’s the ₤1500 Jimmy Choo sandals.

“New Choo’s?”

“Aren’t they darling? You always have appreciated fine shoes haven’t you dear?” Yes, but if I had to walk in those all day I’d die. Also, it was her idea to go to
Guildford
, and those cobbles and the hill aren't conducive to high heels. I don't know how she does it!
 
“Come, come. I have a fantastic new sculpture to show you. I had them put it by the pool but I’m still a little undecided if that’s where it belongs. Tell me your thoughts dear.”

We have to walk quite a way to get to the pool and Lady Howard click clacks all the way making walking in 5 inch heels look easy.

The pool is the most fantastic room in this fantastic house. I think it’s Olympic sized, it certainly looks it. It’s all under cover, literally its own room, and the only way I can describe it is like something Zeus would swim in. Maybe all the Greek Gods. Sometimes we open the huge patio doors and spend the whole day lounging in this room that’s bigger than my house.

Unfortunately there is now an ‘object’ in this room that would give children nightmares for years. Hell, it will probably give me a few sleepless nights.

“Oh.” Slips out before I can stop myself.

“Yes dear. I can see it’s taken your breath away. Have a good look up close. I’m going to admire it from here. What do you think of the location?”

Taken my breath away? Definitely. Move the location? Unlikely as this colossal spooky monstrosity is about 15ft high and probably has a 5ft diameter. It looks like a cross between Satan and Medusa. And it’s blue.

“It’s very wow.” I’m trying to nod encouragingly when I notice something wrapped in what may be its arms or tentacles. “Oh my goodness, is that a baby?”

“Yes, it’s mother and child. Isn’t it so precious and heart warming?”

If my mother looked like that I wouldn’t have lived this long without being institutionalized. “Unique.”

“Well of course dear. At that price I would hope he didn’t mass market them.”

I’m nodding and smiling and that seems to be enough today so thankfully we leave the pool room and once Lady Howard has collected her handbag we’re off to
Guildford
.

It would appear that Lady Howard wants to buy half of
Guildford
and I’m carrying it. She doesn’t expect me to but I am scared of her snapping those beautiful heels with the weight of her shopping.

“Diamonds? She has them. Horses? She has eight. Clothes? My goodness she could dress a small country. But a vacation? We all need one of them. So, I’ve decided to send you and the gang,” wink, “on a cruise to the Med for 12 days! So, more sandals, sundresses, sunglasses, swimsuits and a new Louis suitcase and we’re done.”

First thought, vacation. The
Mediterranean
. Sun, sand and shopping. Spanish, Italian, Greek gods. Bring it on.

Second thought, that’s going to mess up the Jason long legs party plan, “Lady Howard, we need to take a time out.”

Having filled her in, over a pot of tea (no cuppa for a Lady, don’t forget she’s hierarchy as well as ‘Gifted’), I describe Poppy’s plan for the birthday party.

“I don’t think we should do the cruise.” It's killing me to say this. “Whilst throwing someone overboard sounds tempting, I think this could work better with a pool party.” Sans the latest ‘art piece’.

“So a new frock, swimsuit and some Choo’s?”

“Only if we get to model them first?” A nod, wink and silent agreement that trying on shoes is far more fun. But I’m filing the cruise away for a later date.

"And I know the perfect caterer for the occasion too," she continues. Lady Howard’s idea of organising a party is to get someone else to sort it all out for her, which also means that it's going to be amazing. "They're a darling little company that just arranged Elton's last do."

Wow. It might even be better than amazing.

"But I'll tell them not to be so camp. They had sculptures in it that would turn the most liberal of us a deep red!"

"Not blue?" It’s out before I can stop myself, but thankfully she laughs it off.

"Do you think building a nightclub close to the pool is too much? Then we could have a foam party! I've always wondered what one of those would be like!"

Is it possible to be best friends with your best friends mum?

Chapter Fourteen

Poppy wasn’t home when I got back yesterday and she’s not in her room this morning. She’d left a note saying she had things to do in the city and that she may stay over at
Adrian
’s.

I’m a little alarmed then when the doorbell rings. It’s 8:30am and I’m still in my dressing gown and my hair looks as if small animals are nesting in it.

“Who is it?” I put my mum voice on. You know when you sound posh, the ‘Ah, Hella’ voice vs. the ‘hiya’ voice?

“It’s me, open up. I have the whole day planned. Well that’s not true. I need your help. I was thinking….. why am I talking to a door?” I open the door. “Wow, do you look like that every morning?” Stefan asks.

He of course looks gorgeous. Dark blond hair, that Marky Mark physique. I’m waiting for the day when I see him on a billboard modelling Armani underwear. I can see two young girls up the street literally drooling at him. “Come on in before I scare the neighbours.” I wave to the girls and wink.

“Do you want me to drive you to the hairdresser or to the garden centre?”

“Ha ha, no lawnmower required. You’re up early, what’s up?” I enquire.

We’re seated outside in the tiny little patio area with a fresh brew.

“I was here the other day, with Poppy. I guess she’s filled you in on the party idea? So what do I buy her?”

“Oh no, not you too. I was shopping all day with Lady Howard yesterday but I didn’t buy anything. I couldn’t find anything….. Poppy-ish.” I was going to call the gang later and see if anyone had any ideas.

I look bummed but Stefan looks excited. “Well come on
Alice
in wonder what-happened-to-your-hair land. Go get showered and let’s head out.”

25 minutes and half a bottle of conditioner later, we’re in the car heading to Bromley. Stefan drives a Mercedes Roadster. Unfortunately and also unlikely, the weather is fabulous so the roof is off and I’m holding my hair as much as possible. It’s going to look exactly the same as when I woke up!

I’ve so far counted eighteen potential accidents from women looking at Stefan and not the road. One of them looked about ninety years old and I’m still concerned we should turn around. I think she may have had a heart attack.

“So I was thinking of jewellery. Not something mad and expensive, just something personal.” We’ve parked and we’re just window shopping at the moment. Stefan is trying to look casual but I can see he’s really trying to find the perfect gift. He’s strong, good looking, funny and sensitive too.

“So let’s go see what they have.”

An older gentleman approaches us as we walk in the jewellery store. “Can I help you with something?”

“Yes please, we’re looking for something personal for a friend of ours. We don’t want a pen or diamond rings; we were hoping you could inspire us?” Stefan asks.

“I’ll certainly try. Come over here and I’ll show you some of the newer items.” He leads us to a corner and he steps behind the counter. “What is selling ever so well at the moment are lockets. If it was from the two of you it would fit a picture of both.”