Being Human (36 page)

I had grown used to daydreaming and understood now why humans did it. An escape from a harsh reality. For a few moments I could forget the pain, hunger and need. I pretended I was someplace better, home with my family. I’d listen to Rissa and my niece argue about her going to bed for school in the morning or watch Dan read his newspaper. I’d hold conversations with each of them and sit down at the table for dinner.

When I finally opened my eyes, the pain of reality threatened to consume me.

Too soon, Vampire Forces came back. They restrained me like usual and wheeled me back to the lab. Three times as many scientists were waiting, their excitement filling the air as they whispered to one another.

What were they planning?

Maybe this is it
, a part of me whispered.
The trial is over and it’s time to destroy the evil vampire.

Was it wrong of me to hope that? My whole life had been about surviving and now all I desired was the end. Deep down, I knew I didn’t want to be destroyed. I needed to survive, but the past few weeks had beat me down and I was tired. Tired of the pain, of waiting for what would come next and the confusion of it. If being destroyed meant I’d no longer worry or wonder, I welcomed it.

“Should we administer some anesthetic?” one scientist asked.

“I don’t think it’s necessary,” another replied.

They moved closer, double checking my restraints and wheeled the tray of instruments closer. Next, they checked TV and camera, making sure it was ready to record. Each scientist held his or her breath as one closed in with a knife.

The first cut went deep, deeper than usual. I gritted my teeth and swallowed any sounds of pain. The next cut went even deeper and when the scientist reached bone, he set the knife aside and picked up a drill. The high-pitched noise grated against my ears as the blade spun to life. Bones cracked and snapped at a touch from the blade. The scientist grabbed other tools next, holding my skin open and prying more bones apart.

The rest were excited now, leaning in to examine. More joined the first, prodding into the wound they created and sending jolts of pain through me. I found myself gasping, unable to hold back any longer.

“Stop!”

The scientists ignored me and kept working. Maybe they hadn’t heard.

I tried to raise my voice, wanting to scream, but unable. “Please, stop!”

I felt something snap in my chest and pain ripped through me. I arched off the table and a scream tore from my throat. Everything went dark.

****

It was a miracle when I woke in the silver room. When darkness washed over me, it felt as if permanent death had touched me. Black spots filled my vision as I stared at the silver walls. Pain throbbed through me, my skin on fire and burning down to my bones. My chest felt empty, the void terrifying me.

What had the scientist done?

Carefully, I crawled my hand up my stomach and along my chest. Torn skin met my fingers, the wound stretching down the middle. I could feel
inside
me, feel what was under the skin, the broken bones, torn muscles and tissue. Everything I shouldn’t be able to feel. Except for one thing.

I pressed my hand over the wound and slumped, exhausted, to the floor. “Why can’t I die?”

I slipped back into unconsciousness, falling completely unaware. I had never been unaware before, it wasn’t possible for a vampire. We’re constantly half awake, part of our survival demanding we know what’s going on even if we’re helpless to defend ourselves. When I rested, I couldn’t imagine being unaware.

Now, I welcomed the moment. It meant I didn’t have to think or feel pain or wait for what would come next. I didn’t care because I was unaware. Was that what permanent death felt like?

When Vampire Forces came for me again, they didn’t bother restraining me. They yanked a shirt over me and covered the wound in my chest. Next they dumped me into the wheelchair, enjoying each whimper of pain that escaped me as they wheeled me to the courtroom.

Humans filled the seats in the courtroom and more stood along the walls. Their excited whispers floated through the air and their energy filled the crowded room. I started hoping again, this had to mean the end for me.

All attention turned to my family when they entered. I twisted around in my seat, but too many humans crowded around them. I heard Rissa over the murmur of voices.

“Give us some space. Dan's not feeling well.”

“Do you think the vampire did it?” a voice asked.

“Can vampires cause injuries from afar?” another chimed in.

More voices shouted questions until the words bled together into an unintelligible stew.

“Shut up!” Rissa snapped. “We went to the hospital because Dan felt ill, not because of Tommy. Now leave us alone. We won’t answer any more of your ignorant questions.”

The humans didn’t back off until Vampire Forces pushed them back. My family broke free and took their usual seats. Dan slumped into his seat, his skin pale and face contorting in pain. His hand was clutching his chest. For once my niece didn’t look angry, her eyes darting back and forth from me to Dan.

“Sympathizers,” a voice yelled over the crowd.

More jeers rippled across the courtroom. My family ignored the jests – as they had the ones that came before. The jeers fell silent when the doors to the courtroom opened again. The crowd parted and Sunlight walked with her parents to a row near the front. The humans gathered around her, their voices sympathetic as they questioned her.

A human stood behind her, his hand on her shoulder as he answered. “Jamie is here to face the monster that terrorized her all summer. After today, she will finally put the nightmare behind her.”

Confusion rolled through me. I killed the monster that terrorized her. Who was the human talking about? He didn’t mean me, did he? But Sunlight didn’t think of me that way, I wasn’t a monster in her eyes. She loved me like I loved her. Why would she lie?

Why wouldn't she look at me?

A new pain filled my chest, burning hotter than fire. I felt myself burn up, the pain destroying me faster than the sun ever could. My body turned numb and my mind went blank. I fell back into my seat, nothing left of me. I was gone, destroyed without a lick of flame touching me.

I was nothing…

...Something touched my knees. The touch was soft and painfully hot. I blinked once, slowly becoming aware of my surroundings. Like the night I was turned, everything started to come back to me. I felt the ground beneath my feet, smelled scents in the air and heard noises. Only this time I felt like a zombie, an empty shell.

“Tommy, look at me.”

A human girl stood before me, something so familiar about her. Wide, brown eyes stared into mine and soft whispers echoed in my head.

Oh God, what have they done to you? I'm sorry, Tommy, this is my fault. I shouldn't have let you go to the dance. Please forgive me. I'm sorry, I'm sorry!

A tear rolled down her cheek and fell to my hand. A flicker of anger grew as I stared at the moisture. Why did her crying anger me? The answer felt on the tip of my tongue and I struggled to speak. “Why… am I mad?”

“Don’t try to speak,” she whispered.

She knelt before me and lifted her hands from my knees. Her head tilted ever so slightly as her gaze shifted to something behind me. Gently, she lifted my shirt. Her eyes widened and her face turned white as snow. A scream ripped from her and humans rushed to pull her away.

“Let me go, I’m fine.” She pulled from their grip and knelt back down. Her hands trembled as she lifted my shirt again and her voice shook. “What did they do to you?”

I glanced at the humans around us. They looked nervous and ready to pull her away again. I knew I didn’t want that. The pain didn’t hurt with her near and slowly, I felt my brain restarting and thoughts returning to me.

She was my Sunlight and I loved her with everything I had.

And she loved me too. I saw it in her eyes as her thoughts told me how they tried to keep her away and told her they knew what was best for her. She knew what was best for her, what she needed.

Me.

I gazed in her eyes, knowing I needed her too. I twitched my fingers and she curled hers around mine. “My heart,” I whispered. “They took my heart.”

****

The judge banged his hammer and demanded order in the court. The humans settled into their seats, a few continuing to murmur and earning a glare from the judge. Once the last of the voices died, he threw his glare to me.

“I understand the vampire wishes to change his plea.”

“Yes, Your Honor,” the human next to me, Mr. Anderson, sprung to his feet. “My client pleads innocent.”

Everything had changed again, the trial, the torture and what it meant.

After Sunlight lied to get close to me and the discovery of what the scientist had done to me, she called to another human. He had strode forward without an ounce of fear in his scent and announced he was her lawyer and upon her request was taking me as his client. This fiasco of a trial had gone on long enough and it was time the court stop wasting tax payers’ money.

I was whisked away, Vampire Forces hot on my heels and protesting any blood my lawyer insisted I needed. After a lot of arguing and insults, it was agreed I needed enough blood to heal. Not a drop more, to ensure I wouldn’t be able to escape.

But before I got the blood to heal, I needed to get my heart back.

A piece of paper presented by Mr. Anderson quickly silenced the scientists and sent them scurrying to obey. I was placed back on the table and this time given something that pulled me into pain-free unconsciousness. When I woke, my heart was back where it belonged.

The trial was restarted and a new judge and jury selected. Evidence was resubmitted and some thrown out. Mr. Anderson worked hard, lecturing, preaching and fighting for me. Each day, more and more humans filled the courthouse to watch and the newspapers called the trial the biggest in history.

Every few days I was given a little blood and time with my family. Sunlight was with them too, showing her support for me. There was no more torture, the scientists not allowed near me. I was no longer bound to a chair and no one was to call me it, they had to use my name.

I didn’t much care for that part.

“Your Honor,” the other lawyer spoke up. “You can’t seriously be considering it. He is a vampire, we know he has probably killed hundreds of people over the years.”

“That’s beside the point,” Mr. Anderson replied. “It’s an established fact that vampires kill to obtain blood. One cannot prosecute the lion for hunting the antelope.”

The two lawyers started arguing, their voices growing louder as the judge started to yell. I closed my eyes and repressed a sigh. Anxiety festered in my chest, not my own, but Dan’s. Every day I watched my family suffer as the other humans jeered or demanded to know why they supported me. They were being ridiculed and hurt. All because of me. I pushed to my feet and all attention turned to me.

“I need to talk to you.”

Mr. Anderson rushed to my side. “What’s wrong? We’re doing well.”

I glared at him and growled. “I don’t need to talk to you, I need to talk to him.” I jerked my head at the judge.

Mr. Anderson shrugged and headed to the judge to quietly talk.

The other lawyer quickly followed, his voice agitated. “Your Honor, you can’t be alone with it, it will kill you.”

“Please, my client is half starved to death,” Mr. Anderson coolly replied.

“Your client is dead.”

“Silence!” the judge ordered and dismissed both. “We will take a thirty minute recess while I talk with the vampire in my office.”

Voices filled the air as the humans wondered what I could want. Vampire Forces jerked me up and did their best to drag me after the judge. The two lawyers followed.

The judge rounded the huge desk and fixed me with a glare as he sat. “Well, what do you want? You’re wasting my time calling for breaks.”

“I don’t understand the trial,” I replied.

Mr. Anderson sighed and moved to my side. “Tommy, if you're confused, I'll do my best to explain. You just have to ask.”

“I'm not talking to you,” I said with a flash of fangs. I looked back at the judge. “I don't understand why this trial is happening. I'll still be destroyed, so get it over with already.”

“Tommy–” Mr. Anderson started.

“No!” I interrupted. “I'm tired of this. I'm tired of seeing my family suffer.” I turned back to the judge. “What do I have to do or say? Yes, I'm a horrible monster that enjoys killing humans? Fine, I'll say anything you want, let you destroy me. All I ask is you keep my family safe, don't let the other humans hurt and shun them. I'd rather be permanently dead than see my family hurt every day.”

The judge’s face was blank as he listened to me. He rested his fingers together, but I heard his thoughts as he looked at me. They spoke of disbelief and shock that a creature as evil as a vampire – me – only concern was the four humans back in the courtroom who were insane enough to defend it.