Being Kendra (13 page)

Sorry, Hank, secret’s out now.

But that’s the beauty of a healthy marriage—you rebuild and move on, stronger and closer because of it. We learned a good lesson that night, and we haven’t made the same mistake again. That night also reminded me about trust, and how I do trust Hank entirely. He has always been there for me when I needed him, during tough emotional patches in my life and, of course, during the day-to-day moments. And I’ve got to be there for him. After all, I’m a football wife too and I need to help my man do his best on the field, as well as off.

Hank and his teammates always stay at a hotel the night before a football game so they can be fully focused and not distracted. It’s very common for NFL players, though it surprised me when we first met. He’ll have a ten
P.M.
curfew and need to be in his room at nine
P.M
. Sometimes he will pick us up before the game and we’ll drive to the stadium as a family, but really I’ll let him do his thing. He loves his game-day music; it’s usually old-school West Coast hip-hop and it gets him and his energy levels pumped up. Game day is his life.

Football season is hard on our family. Including game days and practices, Hank’s pretty much busy six days a week and is at practices and team meetings from seven
A.M.
to six
P.M
. He’s working hard mentally and physically—lifting weights, running sprints, practicing drills, and going over plays—all week long, so he’s exhausted when he gets home. It’s my time to take care of the family, just like he does when it’s his off-season.

On game day, I usually end up sitting with friends and family at the stadium, but also with a lot of the wives of Hank’s teammates. If I’m in town, I’m at the game. I’m so connected to sports I feel like I’m going out there playing myself when it’s a game day. And I’m not a typical wife out there saying, “Go Hank!” I take it further. I’ll say things all day like, “Hank, you better get mad, think of stuff that pisses you off and rip their heads off.” I can’t help but want to win too!

Some game days aren’t as fun as others though. Like my life, Hank’s career is full of ups and downs. I know how much heart Hank puts into the game; he works harder and more than anyone. He gives it his all and practices his butt off, but if he goes out there and drops a pass during a game (it happens), I worry. You don’t get a lot of chances in football, and you don’t want to screw it up. So if he messes up I get so pissed and he knows it. I’m not pissed at him because he failed to catch the pass, I’m pissed in general because I know what he can do when he’s on. But if he drops a pass or makes a mistake, I get sick to my stomach. He stays a little more upbeat after an error, saying he will do better next time. But I get frustrated because there may not always be a next time! Drop too many passes or get too old, and that’s it for your career in the NFL. He doesn’t get mad; he’s so calm and positive about everything. But I feel eyes on me when he drops a ball and, I have to admit, I get mad. All that goes through his head (other than the coaches and the score) when he makes an on-field mistake is, “Aww man, Kendra is going to be pissed at me.” It’s embarrassing, and as much as I’m there for him and want to be supportive, if he drops it I’m like, “Okay, that’s it, we’re done with football. We have to find another job.” I’m his wife and I love him, but I’m not going to sit here and say, “Go get them next time.” I’m realistic and I know how the sport works. This is his time. I know he can do it now.

Marriage is my nine-to-five. But I also work weekends and nights, because a marriage is a 24/7, 365-days-a-year job and I’m committed to it. It’s for eternity, till death do us part. My show might get canceled, Hank may get cut from another team, or our house could get repossessed, but in the end we have each other. Hank is the one person who’s not with me because of business or for a cut of the action. We’ve practically been homeless together, we’ve certainly been at war with each other, but we’ve never questioned our love. And we work really hard at our marriage. Our fights only strengthen us and prove our commitment. Part of me smiles at the fact that I got so worked up over Hank supposedly “sexting” another girl. He forgave me, but in the back of his mind after seeing that showdown, I’ll bet he’ll think twice about ever actually doing it!

M
y life isn’t always about diapers, eight ounces of formula, and making veggie dinners for the family. Sometimes I do get to go out and let loose. I don’t love to do it too much—as you know I’d rather go out on a quiet date with my husband—but there are a lot of fun opportunities that come up and I’d be crazy to turn them down.

I make a living out of being me, so I can’t ever be lazy about it. Going out, being in public, and showing off a little is all part of being Kendra. But even a homebody like me who spends half the day in sweats likes to get dolled up every now and then, and it doesn’t happen in one quick wardrobe change. It’s a process that starts days before the event ever actually officially begins.

About two days before a big event—let’s say something like the ESPY Awards, which is the sporting world’s biggest night—I start preparing mentally and physically. It’s a big process. I have a stylist named Lindsay Albanese come over and help me get prepped. She knows my body and what I want. She knows that less is more on me when it comes to the dress, accessories, hair, makeup, shoes. I like it simple. I just want her to bring over something simple so we can look good and get it over with. I’m not a diva; I don’t call in dresses and looks from the world’s top designers, not that they sit around trying to send them to me anyway. If it looks hot on the hanger, I’ll give it a try. Now that I have my body back I can wear anything I want. My body is in different shape from the way it was before pregnancy. It’s in the best shape it’s ever been.

Before pregnancy, even though I was skinny, most regular clothes didn’t fit me. If I liked something I’d be like, “OMG, I love it,” but then it wouldn’t fit because I would be too curveless and couldn’t properly fill it out. I had a strange body—big boobs but then stick-thin legs and arms. A lot of things just didn’t hang well on me. But after pregnancy and now that I’ve gotten back in shape, I have more curves in the right places and everything looks good on me. When you’ve got a skinny body it’s a lot of work, a lot of hemming and things like that, to get it to fit in all the right places. But right now I’m exactly where I want to be, and it feels good.

Racks of clothes, my stylist, and toys—all in my home office. My life in a nutshell!

Shoes, clothes, jewelry . . . When will I wake up from this dream?

So Lindsay wheels her portable rack with fifty different dresses over to our place and then it’s up to me to go through them. I can usually pick out my top ten just by eyeing them all. Then I try all ten of those on and put a pair of nude heels on with them; I always have to wear nude heels when I try something on because they pretty much go with everything. After that we take pictures of our top choices and send them to my management team so they can okay the dress for professional reasons, so everyone is on the same page. It keeps things more organized in our lives and career; they know what dress I’m wearing in case magazines like
Life
&
Style
Weekly
want to know who I’m wearing. Usually we’ll get down to one or two dresses that work best, and then I have to have like five okays from my people before I myself say okay to it. If it’s really hot I won’t wait for anyone else’s opinion, I’ll be like, “Fuck everyone, I’m wearing this.” Then it’s the same thing with the second dress. I usually try on about ten dresses before I pick one. I try them on, then narrow it down to my favorites. Then we go off votes in the room: Hank, baby Hank, my stylist Lindsay, Eddie, and whoever else.

The only one who I never disagree with is baby Hank. There was a black sparkly dress that I wore for the announcement of
Dancing
with
the
Stars,
and baby Hank had chosen that dress. That was the first dress I tried on and I walked out and I was like, “Okay, how do I look?” and baby Hank fell over and smiled up at me. So I knew that was the dress. His eyes told me that was the dress, so we chose that one.

Hank Jr. loved this dress, which I wore to the cast reveal of
Dancing with the Stars
. I think he just liked the sparkles.

A dress fitting is usually two to three nights before the big event. That’s when I also start my crash diet. If I want to eat bad or snack heavily, it will be two days before the event, because the night before the event I really lay off the carbs and the salt. It’s kind of like fasting. I’ll eat protein and veggies, but bread and salt bloat me and make me look bigger in pictures (every celebrity knows this trick). I can drop a couple of pounds in forty-eight hours by doing that. And also the spray tan is essential. I don’t do it two or three days before, I do that the day before. That way it’s fresh and has that glow to it. And because my hair is such a nightmare, I have to plan my schedule around my hair. I’ll try to not wash my hair all week and then hopefully get to do it the night before. If I shower the day before, then my hairstylist Jules comes and she’ll brush it out and make it look really clean. I don’t have the time to wash my hair so many times during the week. It’s way too thick to be messed around like that. Then my hair is fresh and clean for the day of, so when they come back it’s easily manageable. Brian Bond is my makeup artist and he and Jules do me at the same time. Listen, when you are watching the Oscars and Ryan Seacrest asks an A-list celebrity how long it took her to get ready or choose the dress, and she responds with, “Oh, I don’t know. I really didn’t have time this year. I just tried on the first thing I saw, showered, and hopped in the limo,” I am the first to scream
bullshit
. It takes a lot to prepare for an entrance in front of the entire celebrity world. And I’m sure my little five-hour routine is on the low end of the spectrum.

Getting my hair and makeup done is a long process; we try to start about three hours before I need to be ready. Sometimes I have only like five minutes to actually slip the dress on and get out the door because hair and makeup take so long. Getting dressed isn’t even a part of “getting ready” for me. It takes no time to get dressed, so the majority of the time is spent on hair, makeup, tan, and lotion. I have to make sure my skin looks smooth and nice. Lubing up and keeping the skin smooth is a really important part of the process. If you are wearing a dress, sometimes the
only
part of you that’s showing is some arm, some ankle, and a little cleavage. So they better all be lubed up and glowing!

It takes a lot of time and effort to get celebrity-ready.

I’ve walked out the door pretty much naked while putting my dress on and
bam
—I’m ready! I’ll just be running out the door with fresh, wet moisturizer on as I’m slipping the dress over my head and running to my car. Usually baby Hank is crawling or running after me with some kind of greasy food or cheesy snack in his hand, and I’m always worried he’s going to leave two toddler handprints on my dress. And, of course, when I’m getting ready, there are burning-hot curling irons on too, so I’m usually freaking out that he’s going to hurt himself. I’m always watching him, making sure he’s not getting into trouble or about to burn himself, but he always wants to do my hair too, so Jules hands him a brush so he can help. It’s so fun!

Then Hank and I will run out to the car (usually fifteen or twenty minutes behind schedule) and we are off.

During a big event I don’t carry much of anything. Hank is my guy and he knows there are three things I don’t go to an event without: a tampon, my lip gloss, and my ID. Those are the three things I need. Nothing else matters, everything else only gets in the way. Hank holds my essentials so I never have to bring a bag. If you are being spontaneous and going to some after-party or dinner, you don’t want to have to worry about a big purse you need to lug around or check with the coat valet. And if you have to leave anything in the car, you don’t want to worry about the driver stealing your stuff. So less is more.

The last thing I do before running out the door is check for underwear lines. I shine different lights on my dress to see if it’s see-through: a halogen, a desk lamp, in front of the bathroom mirror . . . even if it looks good in a certain light I don’t trust it. I have to have different lights to make sure it works under red-carpet lighting. With a lot of red-carpet lighting your dress will be see-through. I make sure to check that. I’m very aware of it so I sometimes wear nipple covers. There was one dress I wore while I was pregnant where that happened. We went to the
Friday
the
13th
premiere and I was pregnant and I wasn’t trying to be sexy. I wanted to wear a normal dress and walk the red carpet. Of course, I go to walk the red carpet and it was completely see-through. It wasn’t a sexy dress, it was like a casual T-shirt dress, but it was so see-through. My publicist shouted to me on the red carpet, “You have to hug Hank the whole time because we can’t have any of these pictures out.” It didn’t look see-through when I tried it on!

It’s annoying keeping track of events and things outside of my home life because I’m not one to keep a calendar very well. I do it all in my head. Sometimes I know that an event will take place a month earlier but usually I just get a message from someone on my team about a week or two before saying, “Next week you have a premiere.” It’s really rare if someone tells me about something two months in advance. Unless you are up for an award or something, which, being a reality star, really doesn’t happen all too often. Everything else is about two or three weeks in advance. Things change so fast from day to day in Hollywood that you don’t know what you can RSVP to, what you “should” go to, what you “have” to go to. You don’t plan a month in advance. Most of the time I plan a week in advance and Eddie and my publicist, Kira Costello, are usually the people who call me and tell me that things are happening. Eddie arranges the stylist and hair and makeup. My job is just to show up.