Being(s) In Love 03 - A Beginner’s Guide to Wooing Your Mate (9 page)

T
HERE
WERE
worse things than learning his lost mate was in town again and then running into him while least prepared to. Theo just couldn’t think of them at the moment. He couldn’t think of any during the past three days either, though he hadn’t been able to do much else but replay his reunion with Zeki and everything Zeki had said.

Once again Theo had come face-to-face with his mate, and once again it had gone wrong. So very wrong for a meeting that could not have lasted more than a few minutes.

Theo stopped what he was doing and stared down at the measuring cup in his flour-dusted fingers. He’d forgotten what he’d already added and growled at himself for his broken concentration. He felt jinxed. He hadn’t baked in three days and wouldn’t have, but last night he had remembered his promise to make cupcakes for the Historical Society’s bake sale.

Hours later his kitchen had held far too many cupcakes, and he’d crawled into bed to stare blankly at reruns of
Murder, She Wrote
until he passed out. In the early days of this, when Theo had been sick over what could have made his mate not want him, everything had made him think of Zeki. This was almost as bad if Jessica Fletcher had reminded him of Zeki too, wading in and solving other people’s mysteries without even trying.

Humiliation still burned through Theo’s skin. His hands looked ordinary to him, certainly not as slender and graceful as Zeki’s, or inked in arcane black symbols of power. But then, Zeki had said it wasn’t about the tattoos or his hands, it was about focus, and a medium.

Theo had made five dozen cupcakes last night, and he’d been too afraid to taste a single one. Zeki had known; Zeki had known almost the very second he had the cookie on his tongue. Now that everyone in town had heard, they would know too. If Theo had done it again, and he thought he had because he didn’t remember much beyond getting the ingredients out, then today everyone in town was going to taste his feelings.

They would all know. He’d left his phone at home when he’d gone to work this morning, grateful to be on shift for the next few days. He was still expecting calls from his family, but at the firehouse he could pretend to be busy and ignore the phone. The only downside was how the others in the firehouse were treating him carefully. They hadn’t done that before. It was one of the reasons he loved his job. Except for an absence of jokes about his love life, not once had the others treated him as though he was broken.

Today they were avoiding him.

Theo growled for that too, then choked as he realized what he was doing. He went to get a glass of water. Something was wrong with him. He rubbed at his mouth and washed his hands and went back to whatever it was he was making.

Last night he had spent hours trying not to wonder how he’d been practicing magic without noticing, and then this morning he’d crawled out of bed to deliver dozens of Five-Chocolate Cupcakes with chocolate mousse filling to a very surprised Mr. Shimizu at the Historical Society. Theo had been surprised too. He usually didn’t use that much chocolate, but apparently last night chocolate had been his chosen ingredient.

Today too. Theo looked at the tin of cocoa in front of him with dismay. Once again he’d decimated the firehouse’s supplies, which were supposed to go toward group meals, not desserts. He should go shopping to replace what he was using, but that was a terrifying prospect. Theo didn’t feel in control of himself enough to face the public. He’d nearly tripped over his feet when he’d seen Zeki Janowitz behind the counter at the coffee shop next to the library.

Zeki had seen him too. Theo had bitten his tongue at the shock of their eyes meeting, then hurried into the firehouse. He’d managed to avoid the kitchen for all of an hour. Now he was in here making… whatever it was his emotions, or worse, his magic, was compelling him to make.

Zeki said it was okay, that he could. Theo didn’t need permission, not even from a mate, but he could admit to a sigh of relief at hearing he hadn’t done anything wrong. If it was true, if he was using magic, then he hadn’t known what he’d been doing, and hopefully his feelings hadn’t tainted the food too much.

He remembered the low moan Zeki had let slip as he’d tasted the panda cookie, then Zeki’s warm words of praise. His heart had skipped, and Theo’s heart had done the same. Zeki liked the cookies Theo made, he liked them very much. For a minute Theo had veered between pride and wild, singing joy before he’d reined himself in. He must have seemed pathetic, hanging on Zeki’s every word like that. No wonder the customers in the café had been staring.

If it wasn’t shame heating him up, then it was something much worse, and Theo fought to stay in the kitchen and not run to find Violet and beg them to go take the cupcakes back from the Historical Society. Violet would welcome the chance to torment Mr. Shimizu anyway, which was Violet’s version of flirting.

Which was better than Theo’s version. Theo didn’t have a version. He’d barely been able to speak. Meanwhile… meanwhile Zeki had been…. Zeki had sought out conversation with him. He’d probably wanted to make sure Theo was okay.

Theo was not okay. But he’d never expected anyone to say it to his face.

Zeki had no right. He’d relinquished that right five years ago.

Theo reached for more flour, trying to guess how much he’d already measured out into the mixing bowl. His choices felt more conscious and deliberate, and he slowed, trailing his fingertips through the sugar as he thought of Zeki offering his hand to him. Theo hadn’t been prepared to touch him, the sparkling power of him, the buzzing under his skin that must have been Zeki’s own magic.

Theo tore his hand away from the sugar and opened the cabinets to consider the ingredients available to him. Zeki had said his baking was like casting a spell. He’d compared it to making potions, and cooking. His dad was a chef, of course he’d know.

That was a fact about Zeki Theo had already known, but it felt new. Zeki had spoken of tasting food made by talented chefs, and now Theo could imagine him as a child following his father around various kitchens, being fed the very best food until excellence was his standard. Theo added the idea to his meager collection of facts about his mate and smiled despite himself.

Zeki had also done well in school, and carved out an unusual niche in the magical world for his future career. Consulting cunning man, he’d said. There wouldn’t be much work for someone like that in Wolf’s Paw. The town had no regular witch, and even Carson barely offered anything significant, but Wolf’s Paw must like it that way. Theo regretted it more than most, and reached for more chocolate.

Five years he’d longed for his mate, the scent he’d barely gotten in his nose, the strength ready beneath the surface he’d hardly glimpsed. Zeki had grown up, grown out. He took up space and commanded attention. Something about him had silenced a coffee shop full of busy weres and humans and forced them to listen. Theo had been anxious in his presence, and warm, aware of his every minute motion. Zeki moved a lot, energetic all the time right until he would suddenly still and narrow his attention to only one thing, to Theo.

His eyes were so dark they seemed liquid; Violet was right about that. Theo’s eyes reflected light, but Zeki’s absorbed it. Eyes so brown they were black, framed by lush eyelashes. Theo hadn’t forgotten those, or Zeki’s interesting nose, or his stubborn jaw, faintly dark with stubble, or his mouth. He kept his mouth in a tense line until he smiled. Then it was curved and open, as inviting as the column of his throat. Tattoos had curled there as well, taunting Theo with imagined pain, a blood-scent long gone. He wanted to know if Zeki had cried at the tattooing, and how far the marks went. He’d even thought, for a second, that Zeki had invited him to find out.

If they had been real mates, Zeki might have gotten one with Theo’s name on it, as humans sometimes did. Theo wished it was so, like he wished he were capable of having a tattoo. He’d put Zeki’s symbol on him. Maybe there was a magic to allow a werewolf to keep a tattoo. He’d like that, Zeki’s long fingers taking hold of his wrist to turn his arm, pushing in a needle for the tattoo instead of using his teeth, because he was human and couldn’t bite to mark. The sting of a needle and Theo would be protected and charmed by a witch of real power.

Zeki’s hands on him would be sure. He had met Theo’s eyes even when Theo had been close to shifting to a wolf, and he’d kept the contact, his blood almost singing for it. He’d whispered, trying futilely to prevent anyone else from hearing, but there had been nothing soft about him.

Theo whined under his breath, made caramel for Zeki’s skin, added walnuts and cinnamon for his scent, coffee for the shop, cocoa for the touch of their hands. The air smelled like brownies, but the tray looked more like it held a rich sheet cake, dark and not entirely sweet, with crunch and texture. Theo hesitated and then used the last of the cocoa for dark frosting.

It was too much. His hands shook as he drizzled more caramel over the top in a pattern not unlike the shapes and slashes on the backs of Zeki’s hands.

“Oh no.” His voice and moan of surprise startled him. He stared at the finished product, recognizing how right Zeki had been about his baking. These were Zeki’s brownies. These were very obviously Zeki’s brownies. Instead of showing a potential mate he could provide by showing off his home or killing a small animal and bringing him the meat, Theo had made brownies. Magic brownies. For a wizard.

He’d been baking for Zeki the entire time.

He sagged down and rested his forehead on the counter. He didn’t straighten at the sound of footsteps. The whole town knew. There was no longer any purpose in acting as though he was doing well.

“Those smell amazing.” Maria’s voice carried from the doorway. Theo glanced sideways at his friend, relieved to see she was serious. She wasn’t on duty today. He wondered if someone had called her in to come talk to him, or if she’d come in on her own.

“They’re magic.” Theo was close to swearing at them, but he honestly didn’t know what that would do, and she was right, they did smell amazing. Almost like Zeki himself.

“Yeah, I heard that.” At least Maria wasn’t pretending ignorance. “So, sometimes the girls and I would hang out and eat your lemon bars and watch sad movies and cry. We really should have understood why that was. We just thought the bars were insanely good. Sorry about that.”

Theo thumped his head against the counter. “He knew by his second cookie. He was upset.” Zeki had been a voice full of concern and a scent like outrage, fingers curled around spells he wasn’t casting. Theo had been swimming in too much information from his mate, too much of his own feelings. Everything had been slipping from him except the figure leaning more and more into his space. Theo had no idea what emotions he’d been telegraphing in those moments, and was only grateful Zeki wasn’t a were, so he hadn’t known everything. He’d already seen more than enough.

He was not going to think about his mate learning things about him so quickly, or the way Zeki had revealed that he’d studied sex magic. Theo hadn’t even known that was
real
, and his mate—no, Zeki, not his mate, not really—had been experimenting with it. With other people. The kind of people Zeki did want. How could Zeki be so worried for Theo and so cruel at the same time? Theo couldn’t imagine his mate would be mean deliberately.

“He thinks I should share what I’m feeling in a more open way.” That was advice from a genuine witch. Theo should listen, not feel stupid for expressing himself through cookies.

“It’s not bad advice,” Maria mused, coming in to stand next to him. “Especially with what he is to you.” She was were. She understood. In ideal circumstances, if Zeki had said yes, they would have grown into a perfect partnership. The person Zeki had become would have brought out the best in Theo and vice versa. Even with a bond that had never been allowed to form, that fact didn’t change. Zeki would always draw the best from him.

“As long as you don’t stop baking completely,” Maria added. “Because no joke, those smell incredible.”

“Don’t touch them!” Theo stood up to snarl at her, going far enough to bare a hint of teeth. Maria stopped dead, and Theo slapped a hand to his mouth. Outside of his sister when they were younger, he’d never snarled at anyone. He got hot all over again. “I’m sorry. But just, just please don’t touch them.”

“Are they for him?” Maria wasn’t intimidated by Theo, but she kept her hands away from the tray of brownies. “He’s working right now. You could take them over.”

“As what?” Theo wasn’t courting a mate who didn’t want him. There weren’t any rules against it as far as he knew, but that was probably because the rejected mate was too despondent to bother, or because pursuing someone who had already said no was wrong.

“As a gift, obviously.” Maria lifted her eyebrows with mock innocence. “Also….” She hummed thoughtfully and glanced at him. “Maybe you should get a better lay of the land. The human boy with the hair and magic has always been different. He doesn’t accept old rules. I think he makes new ones.”

Theo recalled Zeki Janowitz in class, demanding explanations for everything and refusing to accept feelings about the text as answer enough. He had a much more recent memory of Zeki explaining his unusual “multidisciplinary” approach to magic.

Theo’s heart started to pound. He’d be facing rejection again to talk to Zeki now. But Zeki hadn’t rejected him the other day. Theo had been the one to leave. Zeki had seemed almost eager to talk to him, so eager he’d let words fall out of his mouth without thinking and smiled broadly whenever Theo had said a word or two in return. That did not feel like rejection, although Theo couldn’t determine what it was. Zeki had seemed… interested.

“You know, the sheriff hasn’t given up yet.” Maria interrupted Theo’s panicked thoughts. “Of course, the sheriff never got to ask properly. But he hasn’t given up.”

“That’s different,” Theo mumbled. He couldn’t believe they were speaking of this so openly. Maria was tense for all that she was smiling. The conversation was uncomfortable for her, but she was having it anyway, for Theo’s sake. Theo looked at her. “The sheriff’s mate doesn’t realize he and the sheriff are mates.”
That
revelation had swept through town that morning, as if everyone all at once had figured out the reason why anyone would say no to Sheriff Neri. Littlewolf blushed whenever the sheriff approached him, but didn’t seem to have a clue what that meant.