Believe in Me (Jett #1) (15 page)

When I’ve cried so much that no more tears come out, I end up curled up in bed, the TV idly on but there’s nothing worth watching on a night like tonight. I don’t think I could be more annoyed with myself than I am right now.
Get it together, Keanna.

How could I have let a stupid guy hurt me so badly? What makes it even more embarrassing is that I knew what I was getting into from the start.

I heave a heavy sigh that makes the empty feeling my chest feel better for only a split second and then I pull the comforter up to my chin. The sun has long since set, leaving me in a wake of dark, cold night.

Becca is gone, my mom won’t answer her phone, and although Park had knocked on my door earlier to tell me that he’d ordered pizza, I didn’t eat anything.

I’d told him I had a stomachache so he’d leave me alone. And now, ironically, my stomach does hurt because I haven’t eaten anything all day.

I think about venturing down to the kitchen to find something to eat, but the second I look at myself in the vanity mirror, I know that’s not a good idea. My eyes are swollen, all red from crying all night. Now I get what people mean when they say they have bags under their eyes.

I don’t want Park to see me like this. He’d immediately know that I didn’t just have a stomach ache and he’d probably ask what’s wrong. The last thing I want to do on a day like this is explain my broken heart to the guy whose house I’ve been using like a hotel.

Or, more like a homeless shelter.

With a groan, I roll over and face the window, holding on to the comforter like a security blanket.

The bright beam of headlights turns off the road and into the driveway, shining right into my eyes. My heartbeat quickens. Is Mom finally back?

I throw off the sheets and run to the window, my heart thudding with anticipation.

Then I catch the Chevy logo and my chest deflates. It’s just Jace’s dad’s truck. My shoulders fall and I walk back to the bed, tucking myself in like all the blankets might protect me from more than just the cold.

I hear the truck door close and then the lights flash through my window as the truck retreats down the driveway.

A few moments later, there’s a knock at my door.

“I’m sleeping,” I call out, closing my eyes like that’ll convince Park on the other side of the door.

The door softly opens and I squeeze my eyes tighter. Someone sits on the edge of my bed and I stiffen. That’s not something Park would do.

“Hey.”

The voice is soft, tentative. Like he thinks I might throw an atom bomb his way.

And I probably should think about violence but instead all I can do is melt inside. A tear rolls down my cheek.

“Can I talk to you?” Jett asks.

I shrug, keeping my body facing away from him on the bed. “Looks like you’re already talking to me.”

“Yeah but I want to talk to your face,” he says. His fingers slide along my back and I lean into his touch, completely overtaken by my feelings for him.

Damn.

With a huff, I roll over and face him. He’s sitting in the middle of the bed, his eyes glazed and hair messy. He smells like bonfire and beer, and this sudden realization brings a bad feeling to my stomach.

“Why are you here?”

“I need to talk to you and I want you to listen and try not to totally hate me for the time being, okay?”

Only his words are all slurred and barely make any sense. I sit up in bed, wishing I could look anywhere else but into his gorgeous eyes right now.

“What do you want?”

He holds up a finger. “First, I want to do something.” I watch curiously as he takes out his cell phone and the glow of the screen lights up my room. His thumb slides across the screen and his eyes meet mine. “Just stay quiet, and listen, okay?”

I lift an eyebrow, still not totally sure why I’m even allowing him to stay in here. “Okay, I guess.”

He calls someone and puts the phone on speaker. We stare at each other while the phone rings. After a few awkward seconds, a girl answers.

My heart sinks. I recognize the voice the second she says, “Hey there.”

“Emma,” Jett says. He holds up a finger to me as if to say he’s sorry for what he has to do. “Listen, I’ve been thinking we should get together.”

“I knew you’d come around,” she purrs.

My stomach tightens and I feel like I could puke even though I haven’t eaten anything in hours. I give Jett this wide-eyed look and mouth the words,
are you serious?

Is he seriously talking to this girl in front of me?

“I can’t remember the last time we hooked up,” Jett says, staring at me the whole time he says it. “I mean, you ambushed me today and I shoved you away, of course.”

“Yeah, like a freaking jackass,” Emma says. “But I forgive you. I’m free now if you want to come over.”

“Tell me real quick. When did we hook up last? I can’t remember.” Jett holds out the phone, as if making it a few inches closer to me will make me understand her reply any better.

She sighs. “I don’t know, like a few months, I guess? Why does it matter? Let’s hook up now.”

Jett’s face twists into a sinister grin. “It matters because you’re on speakerphone and I had to make sure you’d admit that we never did anything today. Now my girlfriend can be sure of that.”

“What the hell?” she shrieks.

Jett smiles at the phone. “Don’t ever talk to me again.”

And then he hangs up and drops the phone on the bed between us.

“What the hell was that?” I say, shocked when I hear the excitement in my voice.

He reaches for my hand and I let him take it. “I needed you to believe me. I didn’t hook up with Emma today. Not since I met you. I need you to know that.”

I draw in a shaking breath. Relief settles over me in waves. First, the sight of him here next to me, even though I was mad at him just moments ago has healed my heart more than all of that crying did. And now he’s pretty much proven that he wasn’t lying to me earlier. That Emma’s jealous bitch routine had worked, making me run away from the guy I care about.

I stare at our hands as they rest on the bed between us, his thumb running over my palm.

“Okay,” I say. “I believe you. Thanks for that.”

He blinks a few times and I realize he’s trying really hard to sober up from how drunk he is. “How much have you had to drink?” I ask, reaching up and brushing his hair out of his eyes.

He closes his eyes and shakes his head. “Too much. I should have thought of this earlier. I needed you back so bad and I thought drinking would help but it didn’t. And now my dad is pissed at me, but I had to call him. I had to get to you.”

His chest sinks and he leans toward me. I wrap him up in my arms and we sink down to the bed together. I snuggle against his chest until I can feel the thundering of his heartbeat through his shirt.

He strokes my hair and I close my eyes and everything feels good. He takes a deep breath and lifts up on his elbow. “Babe.” He lets out a slow breath and then sits all the way up on my bed, taking my hands in his. “We need to talk.”

All of those feel-good feelings I’d had just a second ago disappear into the darkness. My heart pounds and whatever he’s about to tell me, I know it’s not as simple as the Emma thing.

“What is it?” I say, my voice barely a whisper.

His forehead creases in pain. He squeezes my hands. “It’s about your mom.”

She is so beautiful. I love this girl. I love her with all of my heart and I can’t tell her that right now. It’s totally not the time. And seeing as how I’ve never told anyone I love them, I’m not sure when it is the time for a thing that powerful. I’m confident that I’ll figure it out though.

I want this girl for the rest of my life. I don’t care that I’m not even out of high school yet. I know what I want and I’ll make sure to keep her happy for as long as she’ll let me.

I brush her hair behind her eyes, cupping her chin in my hand. This will be the hardest thing ever, but she has to know.

As much as I want to kiss her and tell her a joke to make her smile, I can’t keep this from her anymore.

I try to swallow back the effects of the alcohol and I pray that the right words will come to me as I hold her hand and meet her gaze.

“I got a text from your mom.”

Her eyes light up. “Are you serious? What’d she say? Let me call her.”

She reaches for my phone but I cover it with my hand. “This isn’t easy for me to tell you but, let me talk to you before you look at the texts.”

I want to soften the blow somehow, and I’m not even sure that’s possible. Keanna’s expression is one of total trust and it kills me that I have to tell her something so life-shattering.

“She said she’s going to Spain,” I begin.

Keanna’s eyebrows draw together. “Is she coming to get me?”

I shake my head. I can feel her heart break.

“What else did she say?” Keanna’s voice is soft, on the verge of breaking. I can’t see her cry. It’ll kill me if she starts crying.

I try to smile. “I don’t know, I guess she thinks that since you’re almost eighteen that you can take care of yourself, so . . .”

“So she left me,” Keanna says as tears fill her eyes. She looks down at the bed, at my hand covering my phone to shield her from the coldness of her mother’s texts.

I nod. “I’m so sorry.”

“I know.” Her breath hitches and I dive across the bed, wrapping her in my arms as I hold her close to my chest. Nothing is more sobering than seeing the girl you love crying and knowing you can’t make it better.

“But I talked to my dad,” I say, holding her tightly as I run my fingers through her hair. “He said you still have your job at the Track and that you can come stay with us if Becca and Park don’t want you to stay, but they probably will. They’re really nice people and they don’t mind that you’re here.” I keep talking, telling her all about my plans to make this better for her, to lessen the pain and fear of the unknown. “It’ll be okay, Keanna.”

She sobs into my chest, soaking my shirt with her tears and I just keep holding her.

When I get home, I’ll have hell to pay for getting wasted at the lake, but after I’d explained everything to my dad, he’d told me to stay here as long as it takes to make her feel better.

My parents are awesome like that. They know that some things in life are important, and this was one of them.

After a long moment, Keanna turns to the side and plays with the hem of my shirt. I keep my arms around her, my chin resting on top of her head. “Did she say anything else?” she asks.

I swallow the lump in my throat. “She said she loves you.”

This gets a snort of sarcastic laughter from her. “Yeah, sure she does. I can’t believe she would do this.”

“You have me,” I say kissing the top of her head. “And you have Becca and Park and my parents, too. We’re all here for you. My parents really like you and they’re glad that we’re together.” The moment I say the words I realize the deeper meaning behind them and stiffen. “Well, I mean . . . if you want to be with me, officially. It’s no pressure.”

She looks up, her tear-filled eyes meeting mine in the darkness.

Overwhelmed with my feelings for her, I can’t help myself when I lean down and press a soft kiss to her lips. She kisses me back, her arms squeezing tightly around my stomach. I lean my forehead against hers and take slow breaths. My feelings for this girl are so strong, I worry that my heart may explode inside my chest.

“I love you,” I whisper, hoping that this is the right time. That she won’t rebuke me, or laugh, or say that she has no feelings for me.

She blinks and then her soft lips kiss mine. “I love you, Jett.”

My whole world changes in that instant. The air seems sweeter, the temperature somehow perfect. My entire body is warm and in love and there is no pain and no single thing on this earth that could harm what we have in this very moment.

I can’t help but smile as I hold her in my arms. “Everything is going to be okay,” I tell her.

She nods. “I know. I believe you.”

***