Believing Lies (30 page)

I kept my face unreadable, but inside I died a little. “Then why did you?”

His chest was heaving. “Because I fucking love you!” My eyes shot open, but nowhere near as wide as his did. I wasn’t sure who was more surprised by his revelation. He blinked and took in an unsteady breath. His tone was soft and quite when he next spoke. “Somewhere along the way I fell in love with you.”

Elation and fear washed over me. Would he feel the same if he knew my secret? Silence stretched between us. You could have heard a pin drop. I took too long to respond, and I saw the moment he began to reconsider his words.

“Show me,” I whispered urgently, pulling off my shirt in one swift movement.

His eyes found mine, and I could see they were smoldering. Within the span of three long strides, he had removed his own shirt, pulled out his wallet and the foil packet from inside, and was guiding me back onto my pillow with the weight of his body stretching over mine. He searched my face. I’d probably never know exactly what he was looking for, but he must’ve found it because his lips crashed to mine. I responded eagerly, molding my mouth to his. Soon it morphed into a slow, passionate rhythm. His hands slid up my waist and over my ribs with excruciating gentleness. Every inch of my body was sensitive to his caress.

In an abrupt change of pace, he ripped off the boxers I was wearing. I used the opportunity to use my own eager fingers to undo his pants and tug them down. He pulled them off the rest of the way, tore open the condom, and entered me. I cried out, relishing the feeling.

Sex with Adam had always been wild and fierce. Tonight was no exception. But I also felt there was something else, something that hadn’t been there before, something that was . . . more.

I lay in his arms, basking in the calm after the storm. My head resting on his chest, I traced his tattoos with my finger. It soothed me knowing that I was the only person in the world he allowed to do so.

“I love you too,” I said softly. “And I’m not just saying it because you said it. I’ve loved you since the night we opened those fortune cookies. Looking back, I probably loved you before that, but that was the day I finally admitted it to myself.”

He responded by squeezing me tighter to him.

Chapter Twenty-Four

September turned into early October. The trees had turned beautiful shades of orange, red, yellow, and purple. With each passing day, the air got a little bit crisper and cooler.

I released the Frisbee and held my breath. I was getting better at Frisbee golf, but overall I still sucked. I jumped up and down excitedly when the disc actually went into the basket. Adam laughed at my antics. I would never grow tired of the sound of his laugh. I threw myself into his arms and kissed him hard, nipping his lower lip with my teeth.

We collected our discs and walked back to the parking lot. Adam dropped down the tailgate on Conner’s truck, so we could sit and wait for the slow-pokes. Sophie and Conner were really far behind us because Sophie was the worst player ever; even worse than me!

I leaned against Adam’s shoulder, and he wrapped his arm around me.

“Conner and I want to have a Halloween party at our house.”

“That could be fun. Can we wear matching costumes?” My mind instantly started surfing through the various options.

“I don’t dress up.”

I moved out of his arm and gave him my best pouty face.

“Pout all you want, Princess, but the answer is no.”

I stuck out my lip a little further and gave him doe eyes.

We sat at a standstill until he eventually sighed and conceded. “Fine.”

Laughter burst from my lips. “You are sooo easy sometimes.”

He let out a long breath. “I get to veto any stupid costumes.”

“Fair enough.” My plan was to suggest a whole bunch of bad ones, then the one I really wanted would seem like a great idea. I used my pointer finger and thumb to pretend I was stroking an imaginary beard as I pondered. “Tinker bell and Peter Pan?” I said.

“No tights.”

“Daphne and Fred?”

“No ascots.”

“Hmmm . . . How about a nun and a priest?”

He laughed at that suggestion. “No way. That’s just all kinds of wrong.”

“Wonder Woman and Superman?”

“No capes or spandex.”

Time to shoot for the costume idea I actually wanted. “A flapper girl and a gangster?”

He hesitated while contemplating. “I could live with that.”
Score
.

I smiled broadly. “Thanks.”

“You owe me.”

I licked my lower lip before biting it. I ran my finger up his thigh. “I could think of a few ways to pay you back.”

His jaw ticked. “It’s not very nice to play with me in public, knowing full well that I can’t react.”

“Chicken,” I taunted.

“Tease.”

Conner and Sophie returned a moment later. She was smiling, but Conner looked annoyed and tired.

“Never again do we take this one with,” he said to us, hitching his thumb at Sophie.

She looked affronted. “Whatever. I did well for a beginner.”

Conner shook his head and cocked his brow. “No, Babe, you didn’t.” He pulled her close and pecked her lips. “I spent more time in the woods getting your disc than I spent actually playing the game. And I don’t even know how you managed to toss the disc backwards. Awful. Just awful.”

She hit him on the arm. “Jerk.” Within seconds she was smiling again. “So Adam, Conner said you two are going to have a Halloween party. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love the idea, but I think it’s silly to host a Halloween party that you won’t even dress up for.”

“Adam’s dressing up,” I gloated, proud of my powers of persuasion.

Sophie gave Conner a death glare. “You said that neither of you dressed up, no matter what.”

Conner narrowed his eyes and pursed his lips, focusing a death glare of his own directly at Adam. “What the hell, man?”

Adam shrugged nonchalantly and cocked his head in my direction. “She wants me to, so I changed my mind.”

Conner huffed. “Next you’re going to say that you agreed to matching costumes.” When Adam didn’t answer, Conner’s eyes widened. “Dude, why are you so pussy whipped?”

Adam gave him a shit-eating grin. “What can I say? She has a really nice pu—” I slapped him on his chest mid-word.

“Do NOT finish that sentence,” I warned.

He laughed and rubbed his chest. “Well, you do,” he said by way of explanation.

“Ewww,” Sophie said to Adam, but then winked at me.
Perverts, both of them
. Sophie smacked Conner’s butt. “Guess who’s going to be a convict? I’ll give you a little hint. His name starts with C-O-N, so it’s perfect.”

Conner didn’t look amused in the slightest. “I’m not dressing up.”

Her lips tipped into a sly smile. “But if you go as a convict, then I’ll dress up as a naughty cop.”

“I like the visual, Babe. I really, really do, but I’m not changing my mind.”

“I’ll have handcuffs to use on my misbehaving inmate,” she said in a sing-song voice.

“I want an orange jumpsuit, no stripes,” he said solemnly, but there was a definite glint in his eyes.

She kissed his cheek. “We have time to practice my handcuff skills before the party. By the time Halloween gets here in a few weeks, you’ll be happy you changed your mind. Promise.”

***

Halloween arrived, and I was twelve weeks along. I had my regular check up with Dr. Bradley yesterday. The baby was healthy, and luckily everything with the pregnancy was as it should be. I’d heard the heartbeat for the first time. The tiny thump, thump sound was the single most beautiful sound in the universe. In that moment, I realized that I’d truly come to love my unborn child with a fervor I’d never expected. I only hoped Adam would feel the same way.

I still hadn’t told him, and the guilt of my silence was starting to weigh on me like never before. So many times the words were there, just on the tip of my tongue, but I choked them back down every time. I felt brick after brick being thrown on my conscience. Soon I was going to be buried.

I’d only gained about five pounds and barely had a bump showing. Even so, I wore a lot of looser shirts and did my best to keep Adam from looking too closely or touching my stomach when I was naked. I didn’t have sex with him during the times when I should be having a period. I even went as far as to tell Adam that I didn’t want to go on birth control when he’d suggested it, so he still used a condom every time.

Sophie was starting to get irritated and less willing to help me keep my secret. It was wearing on her conscience too, and not only for Adam’s sake. She really hated that she was hiding something from Conner. But without Sophie, there was no way I would’ve been able to pull it off. On mornings that Adam was at our place, she brewed decaf coffee—she was not a happy camper about that. The first few times we went out to the bars, she rigged the designated driver toothpick drawing by breaking all four of them and having me draw first. After Adam offered to be DD instead of me, we had to change tactics. Sophie came up with a fake bet that she could last longer than I could without drinking. The boys thought it was a stupid bet until she included them in on it and made the wager five hundred dollars. The boys lasted a whopping three days. Sophie was a real trooper, not drinking for weeks to keep up the pretense of the fake bet.

The main reason for the whole charade and dishonesty was because I was happy—truly happy. Sure, Adam and I still fought like cats and dogs at times. No one could rile me up and piss me off until I was blue in the face like he could. But no one could make my insides melt and my heart fill up like he could either. Not to mention the intense physical chemistry that was always present. I loved that we could be in a room full of girls and he only had eyes for me. I would watch him brush off advances left and right. Every day, I fell further and further in love with him.

The second reason was because, in some ways, I felt as if he was still keeping our relationship at an arm’s length. He’d tell me he loved me, but not very often. Neither of us threw around the L-word on a regular basis, and we never said it in public. I told him that my parents would like to meet him, but he still said that he wasn’t ready for that step. Heck, he hadn’t even mentioned if he’d told his parents about me at all. Anytime I brought up wanting to know anything about his family, or showed interest in meeting them, he blew me off or changed the subject. He made no promises of a future or that he had a desire to move forward beyond the point that we were already at. I kept telling myself that if he’d just show me some sign of a deeper commitment, I could tell him about the baby without reservations.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

I smiled warmly at Sophie. “There’s a whole lot going on in my head right now, so I’d have to charge you a dollar.”

“Greedy bitch.” She took a seat next to me on the couch. “It’s getting late. We should get ready and head out soon.”

We had both showered a few hours ago, but hadn’t gotten past the stage of drying our hair. In fact, we were still lounging in our bathrobes.

We went to our respective rooms to get dolled up. Standing in front of my mirror, I literally shook my body and all of my worries out with it. I looked stupid doing it, but it did the trick. I was going to have a good time tonight, come Hell or high water.

Thirty minutes later, my hair was cascading in curls under the large feather headband across my forehead. I bent down and clipped my fishnet stockings to the garter belt and pulled down my red fringed dress. The fringes did a great job in hiding my teeny bump. My eye makeup was light, but my lips were blood-red. I pulled on my elbow length black gloves, slid on some bangle bracelets, and made a kissy face in the mirror.

I met Sophie in the kitchen. She looked super-sexy in her tight, little police uniform jumper, black knee high stiletto boots, and aviator sunglasses. She had handcuffs and a nightstick hanging from her belt. Before walking out the door, she slung a large leather duffle bag over her shoulder. Judging by the way she had to exert her energy, whatever was in it was very heavy. When I asked, she told me it was a surprise.

Downtown Madison was absolutely crazy on Halloween, so I was very glad that we were going to be at Adam’s house, instead of at the bars. There was no way I would’ve chanced getting bumped or manhandled in the crowded bar scene, so this was perfect.

The party was already full-fledged when we walked in. All around us were friends, and admittedly a lot of strangers, dressed in a wide range of costumes. Drake was the first familiar face I spotted. He was dressed as Hulk Holgan.

“Love the costume, Drake,” I said, laughing at the huge wrestling belt around his waist and long blond mustache. His black hair was covered with the worst blond wig I’d ever seen and a red bandana.

“Thanks, sweet thing. Wanna wrestle?”

I shook my head and rolled my eyes. “You wish.”

Sophie came up behind me, still toting her oversized duffle.

“Hey, Drake.” Sophie had met Drake when we all went out several weeks ago. He let her know about his huge crush on her, and she thought it was flattering.

“Oh, the ever lovely, Sophie. If you weren’t Conner’s, I would do naughty things to you. You’d have to beat me off of you with that nightstick.” He wiggled his eyebrows.

Sophie laughed at his theatrics. “I might hit you anyway for good measure.”

“Conner and Adam are lucky bastards.”

“Don’t we know it,” Adam said, coming up from behind Drake and placing a firm hand on his shoulder. “I think it’s time you go refill your cup, Hulk.”

Drake chuckled. “Ladies, it’s been a pleasure.” He tipped his cup and walked away.

Ah, Adam. He looked good enough to eat. He was wearing black dress pants, wing tip shoes, a white dress shirt with the top buttons undone and the sleeves rolled up and secured with red bands, and a fitted black vest. He had a gun holster on with a fake gun in it. But the finishing touch was the black bowler hat. It also looked as if he hadn’t shaved in a few days. I knew it was weird, but I really wanted to lick the scruff. For his sake and mine, I was glad I refrained. That would’ve been really awkward.