Bella (A Sagatori family saga-A Mafia Romance Book 5) (2 page)

“Hey, we’ve got this. Just think of all the cute little baby things you’ll get.” Emily whispered.

I wanted to smile and agree, but I couldn’t. If I didn’t get out of the chair and excuse myself to the restroom I’d cry in front of everyone, and I would never forgive myself for that.

Emily reached for my hand. I was certain she knew what was wrong and I appreciated her, but no one could take that pain away.

“If you’ll excuse me.” I stood from my chair and left the dining room letting the tears escape when I was safe from their stares.

Jax

I smiled as my mother became excited about planning a baby shower for Bella. The excitement I expected to come from Bella never did, however. She stilled in her chair, stiff as a board. Her face was hardened in the glow of the chandelier.

Emily leaned toward Bella whispering something to her, but I couldn’t hear what it was.

“If you’ll excuse me.” Bella’s chair slid back a few inches, letting her escape in a hurry.

I turned my attention to Emily, who was also watching Bella hurry from the room. “What the fuck did you say to her?” I stood.

Fear lit Emilie’s face. “It’s her mother, Jax,”

“What do you mean, dear?” Momma asked.

“Her mom is gone and it’s times like these when she needs her the most.”

I took in a deep breath and scratched at my chin. I widened my eyes. “Yeah, I didn’t think of that.”

“Go see about her, Jax.” Momma waved at me.

I tossed the napkin I had pulled from my lap when I stood to the plate in front of me and went in search of my wife.

“Bella?” I called out, but she didn’t answer.

Alessandra entered from the hallway waving me over.

“Have you seen Bella?”

“Restroom.”

I approached the door with doubt that I could help her. I didn’t know anything about not having my parents; I did after all, and she didn’t have either one of hers. I really was all she had.

I raised my hand to the door handle and turned, but the door was locked. “Bella, baby, are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” she answered,

“Baby, open the door,”

“I’m fine, Jax, go back to your family.”

“Open the door, Bella.” She didn’t respond. “Open the fucking door!” With no response from her, I leaned into the door with my shoulder and shoved—one, two, three times— before the door broke from the frame.

“Jax, you broke the door.” Her face was smeared with make-up; she’d been crying in here alone with no one to soothe her pain.

I held the handle with my left hand and gripped the frame with the other— watching her— seeing how fragile she truly was. Standing a few feet from me, I reached forward and took her in my arms with a single step away from the door. Her eyes were red and wet, covered with a pain-stained face.

“You are my family, baby, don’t you know without you I’d be no one with nothing. You and our child are all that matter.” I entangled my fingers in her hair and pressed her tight to my chest.

“I’ve been ripped off! I’ll never get to see them again, and they’ll never hold our children.” She wasn’t crying but her voice was soft, and I knew she was heart broken. Her head fell back as she looked up at me.

“I want ten babies.” I grinned back at her saddened face.

A smile lifted at her lips. “Ten? You planning on giving birth to them?” A laugh slipped through. “Cause I don’t think I can handle ten.”

I traced her cheek with the pad of my thumb and shook my head. “I don’t care if this is the only baby we ever have, I’m just—” I took in a deep breath. “— I never saw this, a life with someone that I trust with every fiber of my being. Having a woman that would stand beside me no matter what and never judge me for the horrible fucking person that I truly am. You, baby, you are all I need in my life and if you’ll let me I’ll be that for you.”

“You already are.” Her lips quivered as she fought back the tears.

I’d been so wrapped up with business that I didn’t see how hard this was for her, and even more so with the baby coming. She had no family with her, but here she was even more beautiful as her vulnerability exposed its self, which happened so rarely. I needed to take this moment and burn it into my memory. I knew that it could all be taken away from us so quickly and I never wanted to forget what her beauty looked like and felt like to me.

“God.” I traced the curve of her lips.

She swallowed hard and muttered, “What?”

“You’re perfect.” I leaned down and slowly traced my hot tongue across her mouth, forcing her lips to part. “Beautiful.” My hands slid from the nape of her neck to the exposed flesh from her open back dress. “Sexy.” My hands slid to the curves of her plump ass. I broke the kiss and traced my tongue along her neck. “Mine!” I growled, pulling the lobe of her ear into my mouth.

With the tug of her ass into my palm, she moaned through exacerbated breath, “Jax!” She grabbed at the lapel of my jacket. “The door.” Our mouths clashed. “Jax,” she said with baited breath.

I barely survived pulling myself away from her— my dick was nearly on the edge of ripping my pants off on its own. I pushed the door closed only for it to drift open. I thought of how to close it quickly when my eyes landed on the gray chair against the wall. It wasn’t large enough that it would keep anyone from entering if they pushed hard enough, but it would keep the door closed for now. I ripped off my suit jacket throwing it to the dark stone floor and pulled the chair against the door. It was completely closed for now. I turned seeing my wife against the wall watching me with a smirk.

“Our guests are waiting for us, ya know.”

“Let ‘em wait.” I stepped slowly toward her while I loosened my tie and then unbuttoned my white shirt.

“They’ll wonder where we’ve gone—” she pressed a hand to the wall letting her chest extend outward. Her breasts were fucking perfect. The dress she wore hugged her curvy body ending just above the knee and left me many ways of getting through. “— They’ll come looking for us.” Her legs parted.

“Let ‘em look.” I licked my lips, watching as her body waited impatiently for my touch. “You belong to me, Bella, and I’ll fuck you in the bathroom any fucking time I like.” I pinned my arms against the wall on either side of her head. “Do you want me to fuck you?” Her doe eyes watched me fiercely. “Do you?” I pressed my chest into hers.

She nodded. “Yes,”

“Yes what?” I teased her with my lips barely touching hers.

Her heart beat hard against my fingers that aligned with her neck. “Yes, I want you to fuck me.” She wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling me to her mouth. I pressed my hands hard against her back, shifting them to her ass once again, and then lifted her up. She wrapped her thighs around my waist, squeezing with want, with need.

We kissed as I held her in my arms, needing so fucking badly to be inside of her. I could feel the warmth of her pussy rub against me while her hands finished unbuttoning my shirt then reached for my belt unclasping it. I pulled her dress over her head, wanting the touch of her skin to cover mine. I needed that connection with her. It was about so much more than getting it in; it was about the stars that crashed into each other when we were together. It was about the violins that played sweet music to the sounds of our ecstasy. She was all I needed to be complete; just her simple touch to light my way, and through the darkest time of my life she would do just that.

My pants hugged my hips leaving room for me to free myself. I was ready to feel her all around me. I cupped her breast in my hand, licking softly at her nipple. As it hardened, I took it between my teeth, biting gently, causing her to release a moan and shift her head back.

Reaching from behind her, I slid her panties to the side letting my fingers slide across her folds; she was dripping wet for me, hot and ready. She wanted me as much as I wanted her.

I gripped her hips, shifting her over my cock, and with one move I slid inside of her. God, it felt amazing: wet, swollen, and tight sucking me in with force. I had no control when I was inside of her. She owned me, dominated me with her pussy. I‘d never felt anything like it.

She writhed against my body, begging for more, pushing down with each thrust forcing me deeper, harder, and faster. I gripped her shoulders moving even deeper; sweat from our bodies made the movements easy.

She was so fucking beautiful when her orgasm hit. Biting on her lips, she reached for my face and begged me to fuck her harder as she came all over my cock. I could feel the heat pour from her as her cum coated me. I exploded inside of her, pumping with force, pushing her down over and over while pressing my face into her neck, biting her as my orgasm came to a close.

“FUCK!”

She giggled against my shoulder, “Damn.”

“Did you approve?” She didn’t answer and instead flashed a wicked grin. I think that was meant as a yes.

“What are we going to do about our guests?” she asked, serious now. “We can’t go out there looking like this.”

“No, you can sneak down the hall and take the elevator up, and I’ll get rid of them.”

She nodded as I sat her on her feet. I quickly dressed as she began gathering her clothes into a pile and then slipped on the guests robe that hung on the wall near the shower.

She flashed me another smile. “Jax?”

“What, baby?” I turned from the door.

“Thank you.”

“For?”

“Loving me.”

“More than anything, baby.” I loved her so much more than anything she could possibly imagine and then some. “I’ll see you in the shower.” I winked.

Buttoning my cuff, I slipped into the dining room where everyone continued eating and laughing.

“Everything alright?”

I nodded. “We are going to call it a night but please—“ I looked to my parents and then the rest of the guests. “— Finish your dinner.”

“Is Bella alright?”

I wrinkled my brows fighting a smile. “Yeah, she’s fine she’s just gonna go to bed a bit early.”

“I’ll bet she is,” Emily joked.

Everyone said goodnight, and I left the dining room and headed back to my wife.

Bella

“Isaac, Francesco, Emilio,” I read from the book of baby names while Jax stood by holding his coffee as he listened. He wasn’t responding to the names as I’d said them. He hadn’t been responding to many things the last few days.

“Baby, did you like them?” I pressed my finger into the book holding my page.

His head shifted toward me, his eyes making contact with mine just before he peered down at his watch. “Of course I did; I think they’re all great.” He pressed a kiss to the top of my head.

“What’s bothering you?” I adjusted my position in the armchair looking up to him.

If it weren’t for the deep breath he drew in, I may have never second-guessed his answer of “nothing,” but the deep breath and slight apprehension in his words assured me he worried about something.

“What if it’s a girl?” He pulled a smile to his lips, facing me from the footstool in front of me. “Could be a little girl, and we need a name.” His head tilted, his dark eyes piercing into mine. This’s what Jax did when he wanted to occupy me from his worries. There were so many worries, and I felt all of them. If he was feeling stress, I could feel it as well. His touch, kiss, even the way we made love changed.

I stroked my hand over his thigh with slow repetition. “It’s a boy,” I said with a reassured half smile.

“Oh?” he questioned.

I stretched my hand across my growing tummy feeling happiness grow inside of my heart. I knew without a doubt the baby was a boy.

His brow wrinkled while he watched my hands stroke the cotton that lay against my belly. “My mother said she knew I was a boy—” he shrugged “—You could be right.”

I leaned into the armchair finding the page I’d been reading from. I had marked a few names and noted my favorites. “Ennio,” I began, “favorite of God. I think this is my favorite of them all.” I lifted my eyes, smiling.

His began to drift once again.

“Jax? What’s going on?”

He shook his head, “Nothing. Yeah, I like that name,” he reached out for my shoulders, pulling me toward him into a hug. “I think it’s great.”

“You think I don’t recognize the worry on your face, but I do.” I lay my head against his chest. The echo of his heart beat with perfect rhythm into my ear. I thought at one point I’d never hear that sound again. “When you hide things from me, it only hurts me, Jax. The secrecy doesn’t protect me.” I clutched his T-shirt into my palm.

His hands stroked my head. “Bella, you don’t understand the shit I have to deal with. The tyrants that wish our family harm.” He leaned away, watching me as he pressed his palms into my temples. “You’ll never understand what it’s like to be the devil of a man I must be.” I saw something in Jax’s eyes right then, something I didn’t like.

I shook against his embrace. “Because you don’t let me in.”

His eyes softened a moment before releasing me to stand. “Why?”

“Why what?” I stood, following after him as he turned and walked away from me.

Shifting his body toward mine I jumped back. “Why do you have to know every goddamn thing that I’m thinking, Bella?
Fuck
!”

“Maybe I’m selfish. I’m a prisoner, Jax. I’m a victim of this life too.” I was still, calm, and collected, but I was ready to strike at any moment.

“A prisoner? You can leave any fucking time you want. I’ve given you everything. Anything you want you get, but it’s not enough.
It’s never enough for you!
” he growled.

“Jax, I’m entitled to have it all.” I crossed my arms over my chest.

“Are you fucking kidding me? Entitled? You’re crazy,” he snorted. “Unbelievable!” He walked into the closet shaking his head.

His sudden burst of hostility was more than I could bare. When he was out of my sight, I reached for my bag, slipped on my flats, and left the suite. I was so angry that I couldn’t help the tear that fell from my eye. I wanted to scream maybe even hit him in the chest, but I couldn’t because I loved him to damn much.

“Isabella?” Alessandra approached the corridor. “Are you leaving?” Her silver streaked hair swept into a bun had begun to fall. I tucked a loose strand of it behind her ear and kissed her cheek.

“I just—” I turned in the direction of the stairs, “—need to get out of here for a while.” I drew in a deep breath, letting my eyes fall to the floor this time. When my head rose, she stared with worry. “I’ll be back in time for dinner.” I ended the conversation with a saddened smile, not leaving any chance for her to oppose my decision to leave.

I stepped out of the door quietly; none of my guards were around, and I took the opportunity to leave unnoticed. I wanted to be alone for a little while. Having someone watching my every move twenty-four seven got old. Sometimes I just wanted to be left alone.

I stepped onto the elevator, pressing the parking garage button. I’d drive until I didn’t feel like crying or hitting Jax any longer. When the doors opened to the parking garage, the quiet echoing off of the concrete dungeon and pristine cars rang in my ears. A Rolls-Royce sat parked to the left of the elevator and a Maserati to the left of it, but my car was several steps away. I clutched the handle of my bag in front of me, feeling the bag hit my knees with each step I took.

My life had become one I didn’t want or ask for. Watching our backs as wives of made men wasn’t uncommon. I was used to it being the daughter of Anthony Sagatori, but I saw a few look over their shoulder more than once. And there I was walking through a quiet parking garage a bit scared. Maybe I feared the boogieman would pop out from behind the hundred thousand dollars black Porsche or my black Jag. Perhaps it was just natural order for a woman to become a bit uneasy when she walked alone.

When my door closed, I quickly locked the doors and turned my head looking into an empty backseat. When I was safe and officially alone, I started the car and drove through the secured gate, and then into the street. I hadn’t considered where I might end up, but I had to get away. I knew Jax was stressed, and I knew there wasn’t anything I could do to help him, but I damn well wasn’t going to be yelled at again. I slipped my sunglasses on and pressed my foot to the gas pedal, leaving it all behind if only for a little while.