Bella's Choice (8 page)

But that wasn’t how she wanted it. The fight for control to regain her com
posure had left her shaken. She would not allow herself to give into her want, simply because it was born out of lust―not love. She knew the difference between the two, even if she didn’t understand. When she eventually gave herself, it would be out of love. To be out of control like her parents were would mean that they had won, and she’d never give them that satisfaction. Their lifestyle disgusted her. Her first need was to clear her head and determine where Aldrich fitted in. She cared about him, but was it the real thing? One thing she wasn’t interested in was to compromise over anything except real love. She wasn’t interested in a relationship like her parents’. Anabella wanted what she had seen between Mr. and Mrs. Richter, the deep abiding love of mutual respect and devotion to one another.

It was late anyway, and she had to get back to her hotel room, needing some time to think about her feelings for Aldrich.

The moment she left, Monica followed. She could see the conflicted emotions playing over her face, and the heartache in Aldrich’s features. Both were in pain for whatever had transpired between them. Monica caught up with her in the living room. She could not let her leave before she was convinced everything was okay with her friend. She remembered the conversation they had that afternoon and asked, “Where are you staying tonight? I take it you will not go back to your parents’ house?” Anabella was very proud, and Monica knew she’d better not to ask her to stay, but she had to be certain that she would be safe.

“I have booked into a hotel close by,” she whispered softly, at the same time avoiding her eyes.

Just then, she realized Aldrich had followed her and overheard the hotel part. His brow was furrowed with concern.

“What is this I hear about a hotel?” He queried sternly, annoyed, but kept his voice low. A few people stood around them, so he took her aside. Startled, she turned to face him and paled. For a moment, she’d forgotten about Aldrich, not even thinking he’d follow but there he was, right behind her.

“It’s nothing,” she stammered. She didn’t want him to know and now that he did, she felt even more ashamed. Her eyes pleaded with him, but she could see it was futile.

Aldrich stood there with a very determined look on his face, the grip on her arm unyielding as he waited for an answer.

She wanted to shrink away with embarrassment. She looked to Monica helplessly.

“Answer me, please,” Aldrich demanded, impatiently.

“She has booked into a hotel for the night.” Monica gave in.

Stunned, Anabella looked at her, and Monica returned her look with
sorry
written all over her face.

“Why, sweetheart?” Still, he demanded an answer, and as the endearment slipped out, her eyes met his, shimmering with unshed tears.

“Please, I don’t want to talk about this.”

He watched her closely and saw that the sadness and desperation he’d seen that afternoon had returned. He knew that this wasn’t mere rebellion of a spoiled teenager; what he saw was fear. He couldn’t help but wonder why a woman as young as Anabella was against returning to her parents’ house. Something was definitely wrong. However, he decided that this wasn’t the time to be soft. “There is no way you will stay in a hotel. You will stay with me, and that’s final.” Forcefully, he allowed no room for any backchat. “Come, get your things, you are going home with me, sweetheart.”

She wanted to object, but he was very clear that this wasn’t open for discussion.

With a firm grip, he pulled her along and up the stairs in order to retrieve the bag she’d brought with her, and once done he pushed her to the door with a soft nudge in the small of her back after they said goodbye to everyone.

“I will follow you in my car. Lead the way, please.”

He walked with her to her Clio and when she was inside, he turned to a black BMW, one of the newer models she couldn’t make out because of the darkness. The electronic watch on the dashboard showed it was 12:30am.

She couldn’t believe what had taken place. He’d taken charge, and for once she was okay with it. She had allowed another person to decide for her. A man who only had her safety in mind; it was a comfortable feeling, albeit one she wasn’t used to.

He followed her to the hotel. Once inside, his features were unchanged as he walked into the lobby with her and waited. Looking around, Aldrich thought it looked decent enough, but he was adamant that this wasn’t the place for her. He grimaced at the thought of her being here all alone as a drunk stumbled against him. While she went upstairs, he paid her bill and once she was back, her complexion looked fragile and forlorn. He wanted to wrap her in his arms to comfort her, but he kept to himself as they made their way back to their respective cars.

At her open window, he bent down to speak with her. “Just follow me, sweetheart.” She nodded, although he could see she was trying really hard to be brave. He touched her cheek in reassurance. “Give me a smile.”

She looked up at him, giving him a lopsided grin, but her eyes were swimming with tears.

“That’s my girl.” His eyes scanned her lovely face, missing nothing before he walked to his own car, which was parked right behind hers. He pulled out first, with Anabella not far behind as she followed him to his home.

She watched the dark figure closely, and observed his every move.

He did the same, his eyes occasionally flicking to the rearview mirror, making sure she followed.

She still didn’t know much about him; only that he was older than she was, unmarried, a lawyer, and a good friend of Tim’s. She had to admit that because they didn’t spend a lot of time with each other, they didn’t know one another as they should have. She thought that she was probably to be blamed for it, because she hadn’t exactly made it easy for him, plus her schedule had kept her busy. On Sunday night she’d be on her way again for three months, and once again they would be apart, each busy with their own lives.

She couldn’t help but ask herself if Aldrich would be fine with it.

Thinking about Aldrich and how the evening had gone, she knew he wanted more, but she wasn’t ready. Her schedule was going to prevent them from growing any closer, or even become a couple.
Are we a couple,
she pondered.
Can I hope for more?
She knew he liked her and made an effort to visit her when he could, but other than that they were just acquaintances. Nothing more.

After what seemed like only ten minutes, they stopped in front of a five-story, modern brick building briefly, and then Aldrich turned into an underground garage, passing two rows of cars before he turned and stopped in the furthest corner. She parked next to him. The lift was two parking lots away. A dim light marked it clearly.

Aldrich got out, closed his door and walked to her side where he opened the door for her. He then took out her bags and directed her to the lift.

She felt awkward, so avoided his eyes.

He was silent. The stern look on his face told her he wasn’t happy.

Anabella could only imagine what was going through his mind.

He pressed the button, but they didn’t wait long before the doors opened and they stepped in. He pressed the P on the panel, and the doors closed behind them. He did, however, take her hand in his while they waited, the bag over his shoulder.

“Are you okay?” he asked softly.

Anabella nodded, not trusting her voice. She leaned into him seeking his warmth and shelter. His calmness was working wonders for her frail emotions.

When the doors opened, it led them directly inside a spacious apartment.

Aldrich looked down at her and smiled. “Welcome to my home.”

Chapter Five

A
t first, she could see that this was a man’s apartment; no woman’s touch was evident. It was decorated with comfort and class in mind, no expense spared. He walked ahead of her to the door on their left and opened it, putting her bag inside, and then switched on the lights. The soft light revealed a beautiful room decorated in cream. It looked peaceful and tranquil, and the bed invited her into its soft embrace.

This was the closest she had ever been to him and she liked it, even if it was under these circumstances. To see first-hand where he lived, and to be more acquainted with the man she deeply cared for was important to her.

“Do you want some tea before we turn in for the night?”

“Yes, that will be nice.”

Together, they walked to the modern open plan kitchen with dark, wooden cabinets, which were well-stocked with modern stainless steel appliances, all in the correct places; everything of the best on the market.

“You have a lovely apartment,” she said, and for the first time since they’d left the party, she smiled brightly with a keen interest to learn more about him. “Did you do all the decorating yourself?”

“Thanks, and no, my sisters helped but they assured me they wouldn’t do the ‘womanly thing’. There was a time in my life I wanted no reminders of anything feminine.” For a few seconds, a sad look covered his face before it was gone.

Anabella wondered who had hurt him so much. “Well, it is beautiful and cozy,” she admitted softly.

Aldrich smiled appreciatively as he finished with the tea. “Let’s go and sit down.” He directed her to the living room where they sat down. When they were comfortable, he handed her a cup of tea while taking a seat opposite her.

He distanced himself from her, and she felt alone for the first time since they’d met. Gone was the playful banter, the gentle touch of his embrace. This was a new turning point in their relationship, meaning, if they had one at all after tonight. Her insecurities flared up, preventing her from meeting his eyes as he searched for answers. An uncomfortable silence fell between them. All she could do was stare at the cup in her hand. She wasn’t ready for the conversation she was sure would come, or for the rejection that would follow. She couldn’t bear the thought if he walked away, and right out of her life.

“Are you cold?” he asked, his tone not reflecting his inner turmoil as he watched her from where he sat.

“No, I am fine. The tea is lovely.”

Although he seemed relaxed, she saw the muscle in his jaw flex. There were obviously questions going through his mind, and she swallowed back the fear that threatened to overwhelm her.

When Aldrich finished his tea, he placed the cup on the table and sat back, looking pointedly at her. He then said, “Tell me about your parents.”

It was the one question she feared most. She’d always managed to avoid the question with others, but with Aldrich it wouldn’t be possible. Maybe it was because of what they felt for each other―the kiss they had shared still on her lips―or maybe it was because of what he did for a living. Either way, she had to answer, but that wasn’t quite correct. She wanted to respond. She wanted him to understand what she was up against. She needed to share her secrets with him, and hopefully he would stay. If he did, they could then start this relationship free of any baggage, and on a clean slate. Still, it took her time to gather all her courage in order to open up to him and explain what her parents were about, but most importantly; the impact they had made in her life.

“Tell me about your parents, sweetheart. You never talk about them. I need to understand this, whatever this is. What happened tonight to upset you so much?” He leaned forward, giving her his undivided attention, his eyes narrowed in concentration, and Anabella wondered if this was the look he afforded all his clients. It was a look that brooked no nonsense.

She swallowed once again, her throat already dry and she hadn’t even spoken yet.

Aldrich saw raw emotion on her face as she struggled to find the right words. He wanted to go to her, sit next to her and assure her that it would be fine. However, he had to keep his distance in order to help her, and when she was done he would discern how best to help. It didn’t matter what her story was, his feelings would not change. He cared for her deeply. He did not repeat the question again but waited for her to talk, determined to hear what was bothering her.

When she started to speak, it was very soft, and he had to lean forward to hear her.

“At the age of ten, I realized that our home life wasn’t the same as other kids. Things happened in my house that I didn’t understand, or could explain. I never saw it at Monica’s house, and I was confused at the differences in our homes.

Over weekends, and some weeknights, when people came over, I wasn’t allowed to go down and visit with them. Usually, they were groups of twenty people or less that filled the living room. When it was smaller groups, they would disappear into my parents’ bedroom. I never met these people. I heard their voices accompanied by unfamiliar sounds. I was mostly kept in the dark and never allowed to ask questions, because Mother and Father would reprimand me in their sternest voices. It was my two elder brothers’ task to keep me busy and put me to bed.

In the mornings when I’d go down, the house was a complete mess, and I smelled the most disgusting odors I didn’t like. Even when I tried to speak to my brothers they wouldn’t explain a thing.” Her hands clamped together as he kept a close watch, his face blank.

By now her hands were shakier, and he noticed how she kept clenching them together, but he left her and waited for her to continue. He sensed her willingness, even though he knew how hard opening up must be. Never before had she talked about this, and it was time for her to open herself up in order to let them in.

“By the time I was fifteen, I was told to join them and sit quietly on a chair in the corner of the living room. I had to watch and learn, but wasn’t allowed to ask questions. My parents and brothers, and every person that was present, would strip naked and kiss one another. By then Roy was twenty years old, and Derek eighteen.

I was shocked at the display, and found myself openly staring at these people, especially my parents and brothers whom I had never seen naked before; their casualness with each other as they enjoyed one another’s bodies was mind boggling. I was embarrassed, didn’t want to continue looking, but at the same time I was curious. Sometimes, Father would leave with a couple, other times it was Mother. I remember gasping in shock when my brother and father both took a young redhead together as they pleasured her, while she did the same with them.

When the sounds became intense, I tried to cover my eyes with my hands, but either my mother or father would remove them, assuring me that it was all right, that it was natural and beautiful. These people, along with my parents, orally pleasured each other, their faces eventually turning from pleasure to beastly lust; they were ugly to me. It was the first time I’d seen it, but recognized it for what it was.” Anabella paused, taking a few deep breaths.

“The first time I threw up next to the chair was when I saw my Mother tied up as they spanked her while she screamed. I tried to stop them, but one man told me that it was okay, that that was exactly what she wanted. When I looked at her face, I watched in horror as one of the men laughed at her, and she pleaded for more while grinning. I wanted to run and when I tried to do just that, people would block my path, leaving me no choice but to watch as they played the scene out.

That entire weekend, they kept up the same pace. From time to time, I would fall asleep on the couch while they were busy. During their breaks, they drank of the liquor provided, ate food that was brought in, and smoked weed.” She grew silent as tears rolled down her face.

Aldrich ached to comfort her, fists clenched at the enormity of the shocking things she’d had to endure. He had heard of these things, was even curious at times, but he never thought that her parents had forced her to watch. That was sick.

“I had no ordinary teenage life. It was ripped from me, and these images were and are imprinted within me. My dreams are haunted by them non-stop.”

She shivered uncontrollably and he realized the enormous strain she was under. He saw how very uncomfortable she was as the tears continued to stream down her face. Because he couldn’t stand it any longer, he stood up and went to sit next to her, although he still had to restrain himself from reaching out to gather her into his arms. Instead, he took hold of her hands and held them. By now, he was angry and disgusted at these people, but was careful not to show her what he was feeling.

What kind of people are these? Who does this to children?
He was all for kinky stuff, like any average person, but to force a child to watch as their parents had sex with multiple partners harbored on abuse, and it was unacceptable.

From deep down, she gathered strength and continued with her story. The fact that Aldrich had moved closer eased her frantic heart and gave her hope. “By the time I turned sixteen, they wanted me to join by removing my clothes so that someone could touch me. However, my brothers came to my rescue, forcefully stopping them. They told these people that I was only fourteen, although I looked older. Mother never argued the point, but by then she was usually too far in a haze to care.” She grinned crookedly, and met his eyes for a moment.

He smiled reassuringly.

“By then, I was involved with s
ports―an escape from the life at home, when at all possible. I did anything to avoid the house, especially over weekends. When I was home, I would lock my door, preventing drunken men from trying their luck, but my brothers were always nearby to save me. My parents were never open for discussion about this lifestyle. As a result, we stopped speaking to one another a long time ago.”

It became quiet in the room as yet more tears poured down her cheeks. She cried softly, placing her hands on her face. It went without saying that she felt ashamed and filthy, and she couldn’t look at him out of fear of his rejection.

With difficulty, he continued to hold himself back and asked, “What happened this afternoon?” He kept his voice even.

A heavy sigh escaped her, and she continued in a shaky voice. “I walked into the house to get ready for the party; an orgy was taking place. Not once did they acknowledge my presence. It’s been a year since I’ve been home; apparently, they didn’t miss me.” A dry sob left her lips at their apparent rejection, and at that point she looked older than most teenagers her age. That she had remained innocent was a godsend.

“When I came down the stairs, a naked man―older than my father―stood at the bottom masturbating as he watched another couple. I tried to bypass him, but he grabbed me. I struggled to free myself while holding my bag between us. During the struggle, he grabbed my breast with a paw-like grip and pain ripped through me, so I jabbed my car keys into his hand and he let go. I ran, hearing him yell something about a hellcat, but I closed the door quickly, shutting him down effectively.”

By now, she was crying uncontrollably. Aldrich couldn’t handle it anymore and in one smooth motion, moved her on to his lap and held her firmly. Her head was buried in his neck and with every sob, she shuddered against him. They sat like that until his legs became numb, but he didn’t care, he wanted to remove all those memories and comfort her.

Eventually, she became silent and sat up straight, brushing away the tears, by now completely self-conscious and filled with doubt while trying to avoid looking at him as best she could. She felt small and lost, like a child who didn’t know where he or she belonged, dispossessed of all her carefully built walls as they tumbled down around her with a silent crash. She was tired, weary, and ashamed.

What will he do? Will he leave me?

Panicked, she could only watch as he placed her back on the couch without a word, stood and walked toward a closed door, opened it and went inside. After a few minutes, he came back with a warm cloth and wiped her face. He wiped away all the filth and shame she felt. His actions were tender, his eyes showing how much he cared, and she felt relieved. He held out his hand, and the moment she placed her hand in his he lifted her and wrapped her in his arms. Her heart pounded as she nestled into him, appreciating the safety he offered, making her relax. This was a safe haven.

Aldrich knew he had to hold her, yet at the same time hide the rage he felt within; his body shook with wrath toward these people. Instead of love and support, they had rejected her, and she had desperately tried to hold on. He had to be that someone. Now, more than ever, he was convinced that he cared for her, just having her at his house felt right. Her body was pressed against his, and he held her closer, inhaling her sweet fragrance. With her head on his shoulder, he placed chaste kisses on her forehead and face. He wanted to be the one to protect her. With all his heart, he wanted to be that special someone in her life.

“Bella,” his voice sounded hoarse to his own ears. He lifted her chin and looked at her with so much love that tears began to run down her face again; quiet tears. He comforted her with soft-spoken words, her eyes fixated on his lips as she heard every word he said.

“You know I care about you?”

She nodded in confirmation.

“I want us to be more than just friends.” He kissed the tip of her nose, and she smiled her thoughts joyously.