Beloved Forever (32 page)

He flinched. “What pretense?”

She pressed herself closer to him. “I know you’re trying to convince yourself you don’t love me so Koss won’t hurt me, but it’s too late. He’ll kill me anyway, even if you make yourself believe our love is dead.” She wrapped her arms around his waist, taking a chance. “I don’t want to spend my last few days fighting with you or hurting because of you. I want to be with you.”

He remained stiff in her embrace. “Emily, we can’t do this. You have to go home. I can’t lose you again.”

She pressed her cheek against his chest, clinging to him when he tried to push her away. “What do I have to go home to? My place is with you now. It took me a long time to realize that, but now I know who I am and who I was.” She lifted her head to meet his gaze. “I know how I felt about you, and I know how I feel now, although you’ve done your best to dissuade me the last few days.”

“Emily—”

“I love—”

He pressed his fingers to her lips. “No, don’t say it. You’ll seal your fate.”

She turned her head to free her lips. “I love you. I’d rather spend a week in your arms than an eternity away from you. If my love for you means my death, I can accept that.”

He shook his head. “You don’t know what you’re saying. Your life’s been turned around. You’ve gone from hating me to loving me in a few days?” he asked with more than a hint of skepticism in his tone. “I don’t think so.”

She nodded forcefully. “I know how I feel. Once the pieces fell into place, it all made sense. I just needed to regain my memory.”

He shook his head more emphatically. “It’s fear, that’s all. You’ve realized there is more evil in the world than just me. I seem safe in comparison to Koss, so you think you have to align with me. You don’t. I’m prepared to let you go if we defeat Koss. You don’t have to buy my protection. After what I did to you, I owe you—”

She sighed at his stubbornness. “Answer one question for me.”

He eyed her with obvious trepidation. “What?”

“Do you love me? Or did you mean it when you said you wanted to move on? I can’t ever replace Erin, because though I have her soul, I’m not her. I’m not Emma, Erukán, or Elspeth either. I’m just me. Emily. If you can’t love me as me, then I’ll leave. But if you do love me, tell me, for God’s sake. Don’t waste what may be our last few days together.” She tightened her hold on him. “Am I enough for you?” She held her breath, awaiting his answer.

Chapter Seventeen

He cupped her face in his hands. “Do you know what you’re doing to me?”

Emily nodded. “Yes. At least, I hope I do.” She pressed her body closer to his, feeling proof of his arousal against her hip. “Do you want me?”

He groaned, but didn’t answer.

She lowered her voice to a whisper. “Do you love me?”

“You know I do.” Nicholas sounded as if the admission hurt as it was wrenched from him. “Jesus, Emily, you know I love you.”

She sagged against him, so relieved by his admission that tears came to her eyes. She began sobbing, and he patted her back in an awkward display of comfort. Burrowing closer, she inhaled, enjoying the smell and feel of him.

“Why are you crying? Are you upset? Isn’t this what you wanted?” There was a note of confusion mingled with distress in his voice.

She shook her head, unable to speak. Instead, she clung to him until she was able to stem the flow of tears and catch her breath. She lifted her head and gazed into his eyes, seeing his concern, but more importantly, feeling it. Their minds were bonding as they had the night his father died, but this time their common link was pleasure, not grief. She stretched on her toes to press her lips to his as she saw him picturing her do that. He didn’t pretend to resist, she noted with satisfaction, as her mouth moved over his. Emily softened her lips against his at the same time as she brought up her hands to tangle them in his hair.

His lips seemed determined to mold themselves to hers as he crushed his mouth on hers. Emily moaned under the onslaught, as she pressed closer still. Warmth spread through her stomach and moved to her pussy. Her nipples hardened as his tongue stroked hers, and she responded in kind.

She lowered her hands to his shirt, tearing at the cotton pullover to pull it free from the waist of his jeans. She pushed up the red material and stroked his firm skin, pausing to trace his abs with her fingertips. Emily broke the kiss to lower her head to taste him, licking his stomach and up his lightly furred chest, to the vein above his heart.

With more leisure than hunger, her fangs penetrated his skin. Nicholas’s blood flowed into her mouth, and she lapped it away as each drop beaded on her tongue. His hands were at the hem of her sweater, pushing it up. As his nails dug into the flesh of her back, she arched against him, lifting her head to meet his gaze, seeing the red burning in his eyes. She knew hers must reflect the same thing, and reveled in her lack of control.

“My room,” he said in a husky tone as he pushed the sweater over her head, snagging her arms in the sleeves for a moment before he was able to work it free. He threw it away from them.

She shook her head. “It’s too far away. I want you now, Nicholas.” Emily pulled off his shirt and tossed it into the corner to join hers. A line of blood oozed down his chest from the wound she had made, and she caught it at his nipple, licking it away before pausing to lave the rigid peak. He gasped, and her pussy tingled with spreading warmth.

With an impatient growl, Nicholas unhooked her bra and ripped it away, breaking the straps in the progress. She winced at the brief pain, but he soon distracted her by lifting her into his arms, and Emily locked her legs around his waist as he walked. She jerked with surprise when her back touched the cool stone of the weapons’ room, having thought he was taking her to his room. She kept her legs locked around his waist as his mouth dipped down to taste her nipple. The bud tightened under his tongue, and she groaned when his incisor raked across her sensitive flesh, leaving a shallow furrow. The tang of her blood on his tongue flooded her mouth, increasing her arousal even more, and she rotated her hips against his hard cock.

Emily pressed her back against the wall and splayed her arms, offering her breasts for his consumption. As he continued suckling, one of his hands cupped the neglected breast, and his fingers lightly pinched that nipple. Emily ground her pussy against his cock, feeling it spasm against the confines of his jeans.

She brought her hands to his waistband to unsnap the jeans before undoing the zipper. His cock pressed against the cotton barrier of his briefs, and she stroked him, feeling him harden even more under her fingers. A cry escaped her when Nicholas lifted his head from her breast as he pushed her against the wall, holding her against it with his lower body pinned against hers. Her pussy fluttered when he pushed his cock against her.

Emily wanted to feel his skin against hers, and she wiggled her fingers. Her hands had been trapped between their bodies, and she eased them out. Immediately, she ventured to the elastic band of his briefs to slip her fingers inside, caressing his smooth cock. Stroking his cock was as familiar to her as breathing. She closed her eyes, remembering how it was to have his cock thrusting inside her pussy. In her mind, his pleasure mingled with hers, causing her clitoris to swell as her arousal increased.

“Emily?” Her name on his lips was more of a rasp than an actual word.

She opened her dragging eyelids to meet his gaze. “Yes?”

“Are you sure this is what you want?” A frown marred his lips. “I won’t be able to let you go if you give yourself to me.”

“I know.” She fondled his cock, grinning when he moaned. “I’m not giving myself to you.”

Sweat beaded his brow, and he looked to be in pain as he started to ease her away. He nodded, and his bland expression almost succeeded in hiding his discomfort and disappointment. “I understand.”

Emily pushed more firmly against him and leaned forward to brush her lips against his ear while pressing her finger to his lips. “I’m taking you inside me. This is my choice.”

In seconds, she was lying on the floor, not even noticing the hard stone under her. She focused solely on assisting Nicholas to remove her pants and his. When he returned to her, she held out her arms, drawing his skin against hers. She parted her thighs and nestled his cock with her pussy, waiting for him to enter her, but he didn’t move. She frowned. “I’m sure. You don’t have to worry—”

“It’s not that.” He pushed back long strands of his hair that had escaped his ponytail during their passionate embrace. “I don’t have any protection.”

The lessons she had learned in Sex Ed flashed through her mind, but they weren’t compelling enough to make her stop. She couldn’t focus on trivial things like STIs and pregnancy when she was this close to joining with Nicholas. Now she knew how people could be so irresponsible. “I don’t care.” She lifted her hips, taking his cock inside her. A burning sensation caused her pussy to contract, but it faded as quickly as it came. As Nicholas thrust into her, all she felt was pleasure. His and hers, whirling together inside her mind, so real she could almost see it. She arched her back and matched his rhythm, not caring about anything in the world at that moment besides belonging to Nicholas.

He sought out her clit between their fused bodies, rolling it between his thumb and forefinger. Emily’s passion escaped in a loud cry, uncaring right then if anyone heard her. She arched her hips, frantic to match his movement and get more of his touch. Nicholas surged inside her with equal fervor, also voicing his pleasure. As his cock spasmed inside her, her pussy contracted around him, and the orgasm swept over her, stealing her breath and all ability to think.

As he came inside her, Emily held tightly to him, feeling complete for the first time in this incarnation. Now, she knew how their love had endured eight hundred years for him, how it had become an obsession he couldn’t break free from.

His entire body trembled as he braced himself on his arms and bent his head to kiss her on the mouth. “Thank you.”

She looked up at him with dazed eyes. “Why?”

“For making this choice, for coming back to me.” He closed his eyes. “I can’t lose you again.”

“You won’t.” She uttered the assurance automatically, while wrapping her arms around Nicholas to pull him down into her embrace. As he lay with his head buried against her chest, she struggled to fight back tears, not wanting to reveal the sadness overtaking her. In all her other lives, their moments of happiness had been all too brief, despite their earth-shattering intensity. Would this time be any different?

* * * * *

Emily awoke with her heart pounding in her ears. For the first time in the six days since she had moved into Nicholas’s room, she had a sense of disorientation at waking so abruptly, and it took several seconds for her to realize where she was. She pulled the covers higher across her shoulders and turned her head to look at Nicholas. He slept on his side, turned away from her, snoring softly. What had awakened her?

“Emily.”
Her name was a soft whisper, but the voice held a note of menace.

She sat up in bed, looking around, searching for the voice. It hadn’t been Nicholas’s. “Brannon?” she asked, although she knew it wasn’t his voice either.

“Emily, my love, let us come in to play.”

She shivered as the voice spoke again, realizing she didn’t hear it from an external source, but rather from inside her head. She clapped her hands to her ears, shaking her head, wanting to deny what was happening.

“We want to have fun, Emily. Won’t you let us in?”

“No,” she screamed. Nicholas didn’t even flinch at her raised voice. She turned to him and shook his shoulder. “Wake up. He’s in my mind. Nicholas? Nicholas!” She shook him frantically, but he slept on.

“He can’t hear you, Emily. It’s just you and I, dearest. Open for me.”

Koss’s voice slithered through her mind like a snake. The way he kept saying her name was almost as creepy as just having him in her thoughts. “No,” she said again, but with less force.

“Emily, let me in.”
He spoke more forcefully.

She shook her head, whimpering when she realized her feet were out of the bed, touching the cold stone floor. “I won’t do it. You can’t come in.” She tried shouting, hoping to drown him out.

“Let me in, Emily. Do it. Now!”
His voice reverberated through her skull.

Emily cradled her head as she got to her feet. A blinding light flashed behind her eyes, and blood poured from her nose. She fumbled on a robe without thought as she shuffled to the window, pressing the sleeve to her leaking nose. She tried to turn around, but her feet wouldn’t cooperate. When she reached out to touch the steel lock on the shutters, she screamed again. “Help me, Nicholas.” She closed her eyes, struggling to reach his mind and wake him. “Please,” she said with a whimper as her fingers lifted the bolt. She tried to stop herself, but her hand moved independent of her brain in loosening the lock. With a light push from her, the shutters opened.

“Look down, Emily.”

She leaned out the window at the voice’s command, looking down at the courtyard. She saw Koss and Nina standing there. Tears flowed down her cheeks, and she tried to lift her arm to close the shutter again.

“No, no, dearest. Invite us up.”
His voice had changed to a tender croon.
“You need to break the shield Nicholas and Brannon put on Vallsade Manor. Tell us to come up, and we can play.”

“No,” she said under her breath, struggling to force her arm out to grab the shutters. Pain seared through her, and her hands dripped blood from thousands of tiny cuts that spontaneously appeared. With a cry of shock, she fell away from the window, stuffing her bleeding hands in the pockets of the robe.

“Emily, don’t displease me. Say the word. It’s so simple.”
He sounded like her piano teacher, who had been frustrated when she couldn’t grasp scales.
“Open your mouth, Emily.”

Unseen hands pried open her jaws. She bit down hard on her tongue, trying to keep in the word. Though blood flooded her mouth, the word emerged anyway. “Enter.” The hands released her, and she collapsed on the floor, sobbing. “Nicholas,” she screamed with all her strength.

The door to their room burst open, and Brannon stepped inside. His hair was disheveled, and he wore pajamas. The sword in his hands meshed incongruously with his nightwear. He turned pale and swayed when he saw the open window. “Did you invite him in?”

She nodded. “I tried to stop—”

He waved his hand as he rushed toward the window. “Help me.”

Even as he spoke, Koss and Nina appeared at the glass, seemingly hovering in midair. Nina waved, and a cold smile twisted her lips, giving her countenance a predatory appearance.

They didn’t seem bothered by Brannon closing the shutters and engaging the lock. He didn’t seem reassured by placing a barrier between them and the chamber as he rushed to Nicholas’s side, touching his forehead with a scowl. “Koss has him in a deep sleep.” He closed his eyes, seeming to be focusing all his thoughts on his uncle. He didn’t even look up when the shutters rattled in their frame.

Nicholas’s eyes opened with a gasp, and he sat up in bed. His eyes darted between Brannon and Emily. She made it to her feet and backed away from the clattering shutters. As she gained her footing, she broke into a run and rushed to his side, touching his face, unaware of smearing her blood on his skin, to reassure herself he was whole. “Darling? Can you hear me?”

He nodded, still looking dazed, but his eyes were alert. They fastened unerringly on the shutters, and he hurried from the bed, trading looks with Brannon as he slid on jeans before reaching for his sword. He didn’t bother with a shirt as he turned to her and pulled her into his arms for a long kiss.

She resisted the urge to cling to him when he pulled away. “I’m sorry. I tried to stop myself…”

He brushed his lips against hers once more. “It’s not your fault. I should have realized he would use you.” He met her eyes. “I love you, Emily.”

She swallowed the thick lump of moisture in her throat. “I love you too, Nicholas.”

“Whatever happens…” He trailed off, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “If something happens to you, I’ll find you if I can.”

“If something happens to you…” She swallowed. “I’ll find you if…if I can.”

“Nicholas.” Brannon’s frantic tone drew their attention back to the window as the shutters tore free to go spinning into the night, followed by the pane of glass ripping from the stone casement intact, to join the shutters wherever they might land.

Koss and Nina stepped inside, seemingly not at all bothered by their hostile reception. They didn’t speak, and neither Nicholas nor Brannon seemed anxious to break the eerie silence that accompanied them.

Emily stuffed her hand against her mouth, discovering the cuts had healed, but traces of blood remained on her hands. She touched her nose, relieved to find it was no longer bleeding. Unconsciously, she wiped her hands against the front of the robe as she fell back into the shadows. She didn’t want to appear timid, but knew Nicholas and Brannon would do better if they didn’t have to worry about her being in the way. She slipped her hand into the pocket of her robe and clutched the handle of the silver dagger Brannon had given her, glazed with the venom of the beaked sea snake. She would have just one chance, and only if Koss got near enough for her to seize it.

Nina made the first move, lunging toward Brannon after she removed a sword from the sheath in her coat’s lining. Brannon blocked her swing, and their swords sang to each other at first contact. He moved warily, seeming to wait for her to attack.

Emily held her breath as Nina’s sword came within a hairsbreadth of Brannon’s neck before he sidestepped her. She bit her lip when he swung his sword at the woman, slicing through the thick leather of her coat and into her stomach.

“I don’t want to hurt you, Nina.” He spoke calmly, but his hand seemed slightly unsteady on the hilt of his sword. “That doesn’t mean I won’t.”

“Oh, good.” She touched her arm and then brought her hand to her lips, licking it clean. “Because I want to hurt you,
husband
. I want you to die. You’ve been an albatross around my neck for far too long.”

Brannon stepped back and parried as she thrust her sword at him, not bothering to speak again as he continued to defend himself, without taking the offensive. He seemed to do just enough to keep her at bay, without trying to hurt her.

Emily had gotten so caught up in watching Brannon and Nina spar that she jumped with surprise when she heard Nicholas’s blade clang against Koss’s. Her eyes instantly settled on them, and she watched as they took turns swinging at each other. Their movements were graceful and precise. If she hadn’t known better, she might have assumed they were fencers in an exhibition match.

She couldn’t hold back a cry when Koss made the first cut on Nicholas, slicing halfway through his bare stomach before withdrawing his sword. She wanted to rush to him, but held herself back, knowing she couldn’t help him. She balled her hands into fists and pressed her back against the wall, watching as Nicholas struggled to stay on his feet and hold his sword.

The stifled cry escaped her when Koss lifted his sword and swung down on Nicholas’s with all his strength. In his weakened condition, Nicholas couldn’t hold the sword, and it fell from his hand. Pressing his advantage, Koss cut the side of Nicholas’s leg, shredding his jeans, and causing him to fall to his knees.

She heard Brannon grunt and turned to glance at him, finding Nina had disarmed him. Brannon was pushing against her wrist, but wasn’t making much headway in inching away the knife she held at his throat. Her strange eyes gleamed when she pressed the blade deeper, causing a ribbon of blood to stream down his neck. She held the sword in the parry position at her side.

“Nina, love,” Koss said in a warning tone.

With a glare in his direction, she pulled back slightly. “On your knees.”

“No way.” Brannon reached for the knife, but in doing so, he exposed his torso. A hiss of air escaped him as she plunged her sword through his upper body, narrowly missing his heart, and lodging the sword between his ribs. His complexion paled, and he collapsed onto the floor, hugging his stomach as he curled into a ball.

“Brannon,” Emily shouted, rushing forward.

“Stop, dearest.”

Koss’s voice drew her up short, and she turned to gaze at him with frightened eyes, unable to hold in a whimper when she saw Nina pull her sword from Brannon’s chest and approach Nicholas.

She brought the tip against the back of his neck with more force than was necessary, causing Nicholas to grunt, but he didn’t cry out. Nina licked her lips, and her eyes shone with anticipation.

Koss withdrew the sword he had held against Nicholas’s chest and crooked his finger at Emily. “Come to me, Emily.”

“Don’t do it,” Nicholas said. Nina gouged the sword deeper into his flesh when he spoke.

Emily couldn’t make her feet move. She glanced at Brannon, surprised to see he was sitting up slowly. Her gaze swung back to Nicholas, taking in the lines of pain on his face as he maintained his strong façade in the face of Nina’s knife and sword. Her heart wrenched as she moved her eyes to Koss. He caught her gaze, and her feet were suddenly moving. She tried to resist, and a blinding light flashed behind her eyes again.

“If you come willingly, I’ll let him live.”

“Don’t,” Brannon managed to say as he bent forward, clutching his middle. “He’ll kill you.”

She swallowed down her fear and let her feet take over. Too quickly, they carried her to Koss, pausing only once as Nicholas reached for her ankle before Nina’s sword caused him to stop.

When she stood before Koss, she tilted up her chin, determined to meet him on her terms, not cowering at his feet.

He chuckled as he brought his sword to his side and used his other arm to draw her against him. “You’re very brave and very foolish to come so willingly. You must be imagining all the terrible things I’ll do to you.” His mouth twisted into a patronizing smile. “You think I’m going to kill you.”

“You’re going to try.” She was proud of the way her voice remained steady. Inside, she was a mass of quivering nerves, but knew she appeared fearless—as long as he couldn’t smell her fear.

Koss shook his head. “No, not this time. I’ve thought of something better. I’m going to keep you, dear Emily. You see, each time I do away with you, Nicholas always manages to find you once more.” He dropped his sword on the floor so he could still hold her against him while caressing her cheek. “This time, he won’t be able to find you again—not if I keep you alive.”

“I’ll never let you take her,” Nicholas bit out through clenched teeth, with obvious difficulty, as Nina used her knife to draw designs on his back. “You’ll have to kill us all first.”

He made a clicking sound with his tongue. “You were always so stubborn, Nicholas. That’s unbecoming in a companion. You could have been my partner, my lover, but you threw away that chance when you crept out of my apartments like a rat in the shadows. You had me convinced of your love and loyalty before you betrayed me.”

Nicholas glared up at him. “I never loved you. Everything I did was with the goal in mind of getting back to Emma.”

Emily frowned as she saw a hint of pain darken Koss’s eyes. Could it be he truly loved Nicholas, or had at one point in the past? Had more than a desire to punish Nicholas for daring to leave him prompted his campaign of vengeance?

“Very perceptive.” He pulled her into his arms, bringing his mouth close to her ear. “I’ve searched through nearly five millennia to find my soul mate. I thought Nicholas was the one for a time, but now I know he isn’t. I was confused, you see. He’s just a piece of the puzzle…” He trailed off, seemingly lost in thought. “It’s up to me to bring it all together.”