Beloved Stranger: Gaian Series, Book 5 (21 page)

Sulla hugged her sister. “I’m sorry, Sonja.”

“So anyway, the next time I was in port I went to a bar, got a little drunk and picked up a man to take care of that pesky little virginity problem.”

“So you’ve never been with a man who really valued you.”

“There have been a couple,” Sonja said quietly. She thought of Ryan, the pilot from her last ship who’d obviously cared deeply for her. They’d had sex once, the last night she’d seen him, but both of them had known at the time it wasn’t destined to go anywhere.

And then there was Roan… “There’ve been a few men who’ve meant more to me than a good time, but not many, and no one I’ve actually loved.”

“What about Roan?”

What about Roan? That was indeed the question. There was a difference in the way she reacted to him. At first she’d thought it was because she’d had to maintain a cover and needed to persuade him that she was willing to be his wife. But somewhere along the line the pretense had faded, and she had to admit he meant more to her than a way to get her sisters free.

“Roan knows that I have to leave.”

“And you think because of that he doesn’t love you?” Sulla laughed and shook her head knowingly. “He’s a Gaian, Sonja. I think they are born wanting to commit to someone. You can tell him a hundred times you aren’t able to belong to him, and he won’t accept it.”

“So why is he helping us?”

“Because you are his wife, and that means everything to him. Just as Tron would send Alice and me to safety rather than risk our lives. He’d rather be alone than see us hurt. That’s why Roan is helping. It’s because you are everything to him.”

“No. He knows…”

Sulla shook her head again. “No, he doesn’t. You have to keep in mind that these men don’t think the same way we do. They don’t know how to do anything but commit to someone. As it happens, he’s committed to you.”

Shaken, Sonja turned to her sister. “He knows I’m leaving. What does he expect me to do?”

“I’m not sure he expects anything. Right now, he just wants to help. But don’t ever think that he doesn’t care about you, Sonja. He cares very deeply—he can’t help it.”

Sonja stared at her sister. “I asked him this evening if he could come with me.”

“And?”

“And he can’t. He promised his family to finish out his sentence. That’s in six months.”

Sulla shook her head. “That’s another thing, then. Gaians always keep their promises, especially when they make them to someone they love.”

“Like to his parents?”

“Or to you.” Sulla hugged Sonja close. “You have a good man in Roan, sis.”

“I know that. But what can I do about it?”

“I can’t tell you what to do, Sonja. But I can tell you that when the time comes, I think you’ll know.”

Chapter Twenty

Sonja was quiet on the way back to Beta Residence, as were Allan and Roan. Both men seemed to be deep in thought. They split up at the door to Roan’s apartment, Allan promising to return in the morning after he’d arranged for another unofficial day off his regular job. Having access to the prison computers made that easy.

That left Sonja alone with Roan and her questions. She waited until they were inside. “Roan, why are you helping us?”

He frowned. “What do you mean?”

“What do you expect to get from this?”

“It’s a little late to for a discussion like this.” Roan yawned. “Can’t we talk about it in the morning?”

Stubbornly Sonja sat on the couch. “I want to know.”

His lips thinned. “You want to know why I would risk my safety, my fortune and my reputation to help you? Because it’s the right thing to do.”

“The right thing?” It was as simple as that?

Roan nodded. “It’s the right thing, because your sister deserves better than being re-sent to a marriage meet just because her husband had the misfortune to die. Because your other sister deserves better than to live in fear of her safety and that of her child. Because her husband asked me for help. Those are all good reasons.”

“So that’s why? Because you think they deserve you helping them?”

Roan shook his head. “Yes, they deserve it. But that’s not the main reason. The reason I’m helping is because you are my wife, and you need them to be safe to be happy. I will do anything in my power to make that happen.”

Everything Sulla had said was true. “But, Roan, I’m not going to stay. I won’t be your wife after tomorrow…”

“Today, tomorrow, as long as you wear my band, you are my wife. That means something to me.”

“I’m not the kind of woman you wanted.”

“You aren’t what I expected, that’s true. You are a whole lot more, and I care about you.”

“Care about me?”

“Do you want me to use the words, Sonja?” Roan stepped forward and reached out to caress her cheek. “I’ve fallen in love with you.”

Sonja felt as if a huge weight was pushed against her heart. “You don’t know me that well. I’m not the kind of woman a man should love.”

Roan laughed, the sound slightly bitter. “Oddly enough that doesn’t seem to have stopped me. I know how I feel about you.”

“Roan, I’m still leaving.”

He swallowed hard. “I know that. I said I wanted you to be happy. You couldn’t be happy if someone forced you to stay here. We are a lot alike that way.”

“You’re a prisoner here.”

“By my own decision. I told you that. I promised my family to serve my time, and I’m going to do that.” He reached down to pull her to her feet. “Come, little wife. We’ve had a busy day, and another one is coming soon. Let’s get some rest.”

The empty longing inside her made her reach out her arms to him. “I’m not that sleepy.”

He smiled, and this time it reached his eyes. “Well then, we need a bed for
that
too.”

She lay with her head pillowed on Roan’s sleeping chest, feeling it rise and fall under her cheek. Their exertions making love had left both of them exhausted, but even so, Sonja found she couldn’t sleep.

Roan loved her.

Sulla had implied that was the case, and certainly his actions had been consistent with that fact, but it was different hearing him say the words. No man had mentioned love to her since Bearn, and what a lie his words had been. She’d always discouraged anyone getting that close to her and been able to sidestep deeper emotions with her few lovers. Most men wouldn’t offer love to a woman who obviously had no intention of falling in love herself.

But Roan hadn’t allowed himself to be stepped around, and he’d made the declaration apparently without any thought that she would return his feelings. The way he felt for her was independent of anything she might have to say about it.

In addition, he was using his caring for her to justify the serious risks he was taking in helping to free her sisters. She might not have been able to even find Suna and Sulla without his help, and having it was certainly making her goal easier.

He was giving her everything she wanted, without her asking, and expecting nothing in return.

Well, perhaps he was expecting a little more than that. Her hand stroked the solid muscles of his chest. Over the past two days, Roan had insisted on making love to her as often as possible. It could be that he was just taking advantage of her availability, but there had always been something more than simple physical release in the way he’d held her.

For the first time in her life, she felt as if a man actually loved her, and she wasn’t completely sure that she was indifferent to him. She knew she liked Roan. He was funny and smart, a man to admire. He was the kind of man you could rely on.

He was the kind of man a woman could easily fall in love with, assuming that woman was prone to falling in love. Which she wasn’t. But Sonja knew Roan stirred something in her that hadn’t been stirred in a long time.

He’d seen her fight and had been amused rather than intimidated. Her audacity to dress like a man and sneak after him had bothered him, but only because he’d felt she’d put herself in danger, not because her capabilities made him feel less of a man. He wasn’t the kind who let another’s accomplishments affect him that way.

Roan was perfect for her. But she couldn’t stay with him because she had to leave. Her sisters needed her to get them home safely. And it would break his honor to come with her. She knew she shouldn’t ask that of him again.

Could they put their marriage on hold for six months, meet up again after he was released? If she loved him, there was no reason that wouldn’t work.

But she couldn’t ask that of him unless she knew she loved him, and that wasn’t something she was sure of.

Sonja wasn’t certain what to expect at Zeta Station, but she wasn’t disappointed when she saw it the next day. The place was huge, so big that they’d built it inside its own bubble. It was a central station where all of the shuttle traffic came to be routed between the bubbles.

Roan laughed in her ear when she gasped aloud at the size of the place. “When they say all tubes lead to Zeta, they mean it.”

“And it is the only place to get to the tube that leads to Omega Residence?”

“True enough. Only place coming or going. Shuttles heading into Omega are stopped and searched carefully. Coming out, of course, they aren’t inspected quite so much, but they are stopped.”

Roan indicated Allan standing on the platform nearby, wearing a bubble maintenance uniform of dark brown pants and matching shirt. It was the same outfit Roan was wearing. She was again dressed in the skirt and blouse she’d brought with her.

Their cover was that he was a maintenance worker taking his wife to the station to shop while he worked his shift. Apparently no one noticed the maintenance workers who bustled to keep the colony infrastructure working smoothly. He and Allan had pulled this stunt often when working their smuggling route, although rarely from as populated a station as Zeta. However, the sheer number of people moving through the place should make them even more invisible than usual.

The three of them went to the small restaurant they’d decided to use as their base of operations. It was a commuter place, the clientele moving in and out all the time, the servers behind the counter too busy to observe anyone hanging out longer than usual. If they were noticed, all they had to do was fall back on their second cover story—that they were waiting for Sonja’s sister to arrive to keep her company while shopping. The men were going on shift soon…but not yet, and so they waited with Roan’s wife.

Only the most persistent inquisitive soul was likely to ask further questions, and for them Sonja had a third plan—the tranquilizer dart in one of her pockets, and if that didn’t work, her stunner was in another. She hoped she didn’t have to use either one, at least not yet.

She wanted them both available, since she’d probably need at least one of them to take out the men guarding her sister.

Roan hadn’t done more than shake his head and smile when she’d showed him the tranquilizer dart earlier that day. “I remember that little trick of yours,” he’d said, glancing meaningfully at her duffle bag.

She carried the bag now, filled with extra clothing for Suna to wear, and she would be hiding her contraband weapons back in the hidden compartments as soon as they weren’t needed anymore.

Once they were in the restaurant and settled with cups of javi at a table far in the back, Allan pulled out his p-tab and began checking the shuttle schedule. “We won’t know which one she’s on, but there are only a few shuttles from Omega scheduled to come through in the next couple of hours. We’ll have to check each one.” He turned to Sonja. “Do you think you can recognize her?”

“If she isn’t veiled I should be able to. Otherwise, I don’t know.”

“Veiled. I hadn’t thought of that.” Allan gave
Roan a worried look. “Will they move the women on the shuttle in marriage meet veils?”

“I’m not sure. They might,” Roan said. “If they want to keep their identities hidden until after the meet.” He shook his head. “We’ll deal with that if it comes up. Did you see how many women were on the list from Omega when you put Suna in?”

“There were four total. So Suna will make five.”

“And there will be guards,” Sonja added. She thought for a moment. “At the marriage meet there were only three guards that I saw on the women’s side. Do you think they’d use more when transporting in a shuttle?”

“Not if they don’t expect to change shuttles. So three sounds like a good number to expect.”

“Five women plus three guards is enough to fill a small shuttle. I think they’ll move them all at once.” He laughed shortly. “More efficient that way, and the company is always efficient.”

“Five identical woman and three guards armed with stunners.” Allan shook his head. “We’ll need to figure out which woman is Suna and get her away while they’re moving between shuttles.”

“Are you sure you’re going to be able to get them to leave the one they are on?”

Allan grinned at her. “I’ve got something special for that. Plus, we may be able to tell which woman is which. Just you wait.”

Roan looked through the schedule. “There are three possible shuttles to check. The first is in ten minutes; the next is five minutes later. After that, there’s an hour break, so if she’s not on either of the earlier shuttles we’ll come back here.”