Beneath the Mall of Madness (A Jaspar Windisle Mystery Book 1) (22 page)

“What do you mean?” I asked. His eyes flickered between me and the goldfish. The light of the dying fire was making them gleam like stained glass. They were exceptionally beautiful and painfully obvious.

“Your entourage of course.” I cocked my head to the side.

“Entourage?”

“The fish.” I scanned the ground, then the sky, then looked to the tables.

“The only fish here are at the buffet,” I told him.

“The fish in the air! You can’t not see them!”

I looked at him pityingly.

“Are you wearing many layers under that jacket?” I asked him. “We’ve been outside for a long time now.”

“I’m not hypothermic!” He exclaimed. “You’re surrounded by flying fish!”

“I’m sure you can see flying fish,” I said gently. “You should go inside and have some hot cider. I’m sure Officer-” I realized I didn’t know Earl’s last name “-Earl can escort you. Let’s go find him.”

“Don’t give me that,” he said, angry. “You must be able to see them.”

I stood up. “Let’s just go find Earl,” I said. “Oh, look, he’s closer to the fire than us.”

“Stop that!”

“Stop what?” Mordecai asked. He was looming over both of us, the fire reflecting red in his hair and eyes.

“He’s pretending he can’t see the fish,” Dr. Finch said. Mordecai looked around then looked into my eyes.

“What fish?” he asked. Dr. Finch looked like a kettle about to boil. I could see steam coming out of his ears though that might have been because it was so cold.

“Fine,” he spat.

“Are you alright?” Mordecai asked him. “We have a heater in the parking lot.”

“Don’t you start too!”

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of,” Mordecai pressed. “Every year someone gets overexcited in one way or another.”

“God!” Dr. Finch stormed off.

“At least he’s headed in the right direction,” Mordecai said as we watched the professor head towards the fire. “That was a nasty joke though.”

“Thanks for going along with it.”

“No problem, it was fun. I hear you’re coming with us to the cave?”

“Yes. Earl asked me to.”

“You’re going to need to pack. With Fiona along we’ll definitely be gone overnight.” Not to mention we were starting out hours later than before.

“Great.”

“Come on, I’ll walk you back to the hotel,” he said. I looked down at my plate. I could do with some more turkey, and replacement mashed potatoes.

“Don’t worry; we can stop to have seconds before we leave. Fiona is staying until the end so she can get her dishes back.” I put my plate to the side and stood up. In that case, a walk would be good for my appetite.

“I’m surprised you’re a free man,” I commented as we walked. “I heard you said some crazy things to the federal agents.” Mordecai smiled.

“Being delusional isn’t a crime,” he said. “It isn’t even enough to get me thrown out of office. Sheriff Warren was pissed, though.”

“I can imagine,” I said. “Why’d you do it?”

“This is the twenty-first century, and I want our town to continue to grow and prosper. That won’t happen if we can’t deal with public scrutiny, or if we treat every visitor as a dangerous revolutionary. Also, I was ganged up on by Theresa and Zebulon.” He glanced at me. “I think they were expecting me to have a quiet talk with the sheriff.”

“Evidently they thought wrong.”

“They’re not old enough to understand politics,” Mordecai said. “Secrecy leads to corruption. That’s why I’m glad you’re coming to the cave with us. I want someone there who isn’t a Whateley.” Zebulon was an Akeley, but I knew what he meant. Someone who wasn’t a clone.

***

We were almost to the garden behind the hotel when the ground started shaking. I looked around for the source of the commotion. Mordecai grabbed me by the collar and shoved me to the ground.

“What the hell?”

“Earthquake!”

“Oh, shit.” The shaking got stronger, and I heard a noise like a truck moving toward us and then away as the shaking faded.

“Wow.” I stood up when Mordecai did. “Was that a big one?” He stared at me incredulously.

“I thought you lived in California.”

“Only recently. I used to live on the East Coast, and they hardly ever have earthquakes there.”

“No, that was not a big one. The last one we had was much bigger, and it was only a 3.2. At most this one might have knocked some pictures off the walls.” He looked up at the sky. “I wonder if going underground is such a hot idea right now. I’ll have to speak to the others.” We turned and went back to the party.

People were talking about the tremor, but no one seemed worried. Cecilia and Mrs. Whateley were picking up plates that had fallen off the table.

“While it’s probably nothing,” Fiona said. “I think we should wait until tomorrow just in case.”

“Wait until tomorrow for what?” Steve asked.

“Going to the portal cave,” I told him. He frowned.

“Isn’t it sealed off from this side? I don’t see what the point would be.”

“Wouldn’t you prefer it if it were sealed entirely?” Fiona asked. “You’ve been talking about resuming construction. I can’t imagine your bosses appreciate radish monsters.”

“No, they don’t,” Steve said. “I guess you can’t do any more harm to the mall, but have you considered other possibilities? What if you open that tunnel up to the chupacabras and they get into town? Or worse, what if something about the portal keeps them in the area, and they leave as soon as you change it?” Fiona was clearly taken aback.

“We still don’t have any way of killing these things. We’ve got theories, but no actual kills. Do you really want to be trapped in a tunnel with monsters that are faster than you and have a taste for entrails?”

“Of course not,” Fiona said. “It won’t come to that. If I don’t know what I’m doing, I won’t do anything at all. I’ve got a lot of experience with portals, and if I can do something about this one, I will.”

“I intend to flood the area with quick drying cement,” Steve said. “And if that doesn’t keep the veggies down I’m giving up on the whole project.”

It occurred to me that Steve’s plan was almost as poorly thought out as Fiona’s. The area I’d outlined weeks ago was huge, covered in trees, and barely level enough to do major construction on. Even if he could quickly cover the area in cement, I couldn’t imagine how anyone could safely build on top of it. Then again, an honest surveyor might not authorize building a mall on top of a cave in the first place. I was glad I wasn’t in Steve’s shoes.

“So we’re definitely not going spelunking tonight?” I asked. “Because if not, I’m going to have more pie now.”

“No, we’ll start early tomorrow morning if there aren’t any more earthquakes,” Fiona told me.

I stayed longer, eating as much as I could, and when it started to get dark I went back to the hotel. The FBI agents were in the lobby when I entered.

“Is everyone in town at that bonfire?” Agent Steiner asked.

“Most of them,” I said. “Why?”

“Even the sheriff disappeared,” Agent Starr said. “
And
the hotel staff.” This seemed to concern him much more.

“It’s a big event for them. If you didn’t go, you missed out.”

“We were busy solving crimes,” Agent Steiner said. “It doesn’t take an entire police department to watch people burn down a wall.”

“Did you see the hotel manager?” Agent Starr asked.

“Yes. He’s managing the burning rubble. Did you need something?”

“More coffee. Whatever their brand is, it’s awesome, and we’re out.”

“I’ve got some in my room,” I told him. “I only drink coffee at breakfast anyway.” I suppose I shouldn’t have invited FBI agents to my room, but all I had in there was clothes. Agent Starr stared at the fish nervously and refused to get in the elevator with them, so we walked up to my floor. When we got to my room, the door was already open. I stopped walking.

“I know I closed my door this morning,” I said.

“Maybe the maid left it open,” Agent Steiner suggested.

“It’s just me, Mr. Windisle,” Dr. Finch’s voice said from inside the room. So much for the hotel being a secure location. I hadn’t considered anyone breaking in during the day. Then again, on any other day he would have had to get past a manned front desk.

“Great. What the fuck are you doing in my room?”

“I wanted a chance to be alone with you,” he said, “but you’re always around other people. Why don’t you come in and we can have a private chat?” Yeah, right.

“Why don’t you come out here?” I suggested. There was some shuffling behind me.

“He’d better not be naked in there,” Agent Steiner whispered. Agent Starr sniggered and darted into the room.

“FBI!” He called out, holding up his badge. His voice sounded much deeper and harsher when he shouted. I wondered if he practiced. “Put your hands in the air and-oh shit!” He dropped his badge and pulled out his gun.

Whatever was in the room with him started howling, and Agent Starr opened fire. Agent Steiner pushed past me, took one look into the hotel room, and also started shooting. I backed up a little and looked up and down the hall. It was deserted so far. The school of fish was crowding close around me, and Sparks was nestled under my chin. The howling continued despite the gunfire. I heard a crash of breaking glass; then Agent Starr was running back out of the room.

“It got out the window!” He said.

“Stop!” Agent Steiner yelled from inside my room. “It’s gone around the side of the building. You aren’t going to catch it.”

“It?” I asked.

“What the hell was that, anyway?” Agent Steiner asked as he backed out of my room.

“It sounded like Dr. Finch,” I said. “What did he look like?”

Agent Starr laughed.

“Well, he
was
naked,” he said, “but you wouldn’t have liked the view. There were tentacles and too many eyes and teeth in strange places.” That didn’t describe anything I’d ever encountered. I thought back to the trophy room downstairs. I hadn’t seen any tentacles, but tentacles don’t leave bones behind.

“I wouldn’t want a naked man lying in wait for me under any circumstances,” I said, “but are you sure about all that?”

“Quite sure,” Agent Steiner said. “Even if we were hallucinating the slime we were firing real bullets and yet there’s no body. And he was definitely here because his clothes are.”

“What?” I pushed past him.

My hotel room was a wreck. The bullet holes were a problem, of course. There was also the aforementioned green slime everywhere. The thing had busted up the window frame escaping, and Agent Steiner was right. The outfit Dr. Finch had worn to the reenactment was laid out on my bed.

“What was he going to do if I came in?” I wondered aloud.

“I don’t know,” Agent Starr said, putting his hand on my shoulder and pulling me out of the room, “but I’ll tell you, when I went in there nothing but his head looked human. It was something straight out of a horror movie with a
really
good special effects team.” I groaned.

“Now, do you happen to know why Dr. Finch would have broken into your room?” I thought back to all my interactions with him.

“I’ve only spoken to him a few times. He kept trying to get me to go on a tour of the marsh. I played a bit of a prank on him this afternoon. Overall, we’re barely acquaintances.”

“What was the prank?” Agent Steiner asked.

“I pretended I couldn’t see these fish when he asked me about them,” I said, waving at them. “Mordecai Whateley was in on it too.”

“Then we’d better find him,” Agent Steiner said. “You come with us.” I considered protesting that I didn’t want to go back outside again, but my room was ruined.

Mordecai hadn’t left yet, and no one at the reenactment had seen anything unusual.

Of course, the FBI agents told everyone they were looking for a crazy naked man, not a shape-shifting monster.

“Goodness,” Cecilia said, “who would have guessed Dr. Finch was also a pervert?”

“I know,” Earl said, “I was sure he was just a murderer.”

“We’ll get you a new room right away,” Jeremiah said.

“Thanks. Has anyone checked on Cassandra? She should be told that her coworker has gone crazy.”

***

She was at Obadiah’s house and didn’t seem surprised by the news.

“Don’t worry about me,” she said. “I had a feeling something was going on, so I took precautions.”

“Are they shape-shifting monster precautions?” I asked. “Because for those FBI agents to become instant believers he must have done something really impressive.”

“Yes, I’ve modified my machine and it’s performing much better now. I’ll have plenty of warning if he shows up here.”

“He isn’t a rock monster,” I told her.

“My machine is more versatile now,” she replied.