Beneath The Texas Sky (14 page)

“Wow, that’s great!” Dusty whooped like a wild Indian.

The others surrounded her and Ben with toasts and congratulations. Ben beamed with pleasure and shook everyone’s hand, but his other arm never left Bethanie’s waist. He held her tight even after everyone had gone back to work.

Bethanie pushed gently on his chest. “I have work to do, Ben.”

Ben released her with a nod. “I’ll see to your horse.” He moved slowly to the door, his eyes never leaving her. “Throw some grub in a basket for Dusty and me, we’ve got a lot of ground to cover today. I’ll see you late tonight.” For a long moment he stared at her as if memorizing her face. Bethanie had the feeling he wanted to say more but could not find the words.

“Late tonight,” Bethanie echoed as she moved into the kitchen.

Bethanie had just crawled into bed when she heard the familiar roll of Ben’s chair in the hall. He moved into
his dressing area for several minutes then came to his side of the bed. She listened to the low sound of him lifting himself from the chair to bed.

“Are you asleep?” Ben asked as he slid in beside her.

“No.” Bethanie rolled toward his outstretched arm and snuggled into his chest.

“Beth,” he whispered, brushing her hair back away from her face. “Did you mean it when you said you didn’t sleep with me out of pity?”

“I meant it,” Bethanie answered. She’d been unfair with Ben, but from this day forward she would try to understand him.

“I believe you. I’m not sure why you’re here, but I know you wouldn’t lie.” He thought for a minute. “I know you’re not fond of the intimacy between husband and wife, so I’ll try not to overly force myself on you. Since you don’t turn away when I hold you, I think it must not be me but the act that repulses you. I can accept that.” He paused and rubbed his bearded chin lightly against her hair. “Beth, you make me very proud.”

Bethanie strained and lightly kissed his mouth. “You’re a good husband, Ben.” For the first time, she reached to touch him, spreading her hand wide over his bare chest. His lean muscles rippled slightly under her touch.

“And you, woman,” Ben whispered a little out of breath, “are my life.”

Bethanie understood the man beside her better than she thought she ever could. Her hand slid slowly back and forth across his chest, touching the hairs in the middle before returning to the smooth muscles of his shoulders. She wanted to show him a fraction of the contentment she’d felt this day, knowing he was pleased about the pregnancy…knowing he wanted her child.

“Beth!” Ben said her name between clenched teeth as he grabbed her hand and held it firmly to him.

Bethanie turned to him. Even in the faint light of a single candle, she could see a touch of fire in the brown eyes of his strained face. She withdrew slightly. “Did I do something wrong?”

Ben’s words reflected his pain. “I’ll not be able to keep my promise if you touch me like that.”

Bethanie laughed as she realized her power over him. She snuggled closer, pressing her full breasts into his side. Knowingly she wiggled her fingers free from his grasp. She moved her hand down his chest to the flat of his stomach. He made no move to stop her, so Bethanie timidly began to circle his abdomen with her fingers. She stroked lower with each round until she brushed the hard form of his manhood.

Ben made a low moan. “Woman,” he said less firmly than before, “I gave my word not to touch you while you’re pregnant.”

Bethanie moved her hand back to his chest and circled in slow, wide strokes with her fingers. “And you are a man of your word,” she commented as she moved slightly, allowing him to, feel the softness of her breasts at his side.

“I am a man of my word, married to a cruel, teasing witch,” he answered. “When I married you and agreed to celibacy, I had no idea how lovely you truly were.” His voice lowered slightly. “When you first came to my bed, I thought I was dreaming as I had many nights before. I wanted you so desperately, but not if you were playing games.”

“You almost frightened me away.”

“Better that than have only your memory beside me. If you came, it had to be to stay. I could not watch you each day and have it otherwise.”

Bethanie took his hand and lifted it to one of her
breasts. He held back, hesitant, as she pressed his palm beneath her fullness. He didn’t pull away from her as she shaped his hand with gentle strokes. She heard his sharp intake of breath as she moved his fingers over the cotton material covering her nipple.

“I gave my word.” Ben was obviously puzzled at her strange behavior. “You have always been a mystery to me. I guess I’ll never understand women, but I’d like to figure you out. Why are you doing this, Beth?”

How could she tell him the reason, when she didn’t understand herself? Perhaps it was because he wanted her baby, unlike Bethanie’s own father, who hadn’t wanted her. Perhaps, for the first time this morning she saw how much he cared for her. He’d been willing to let her go if she was unhappy. Or maybe it was just the knowledge that he’d never known love and she felt somehow years wiser. His loving could never be the raging forest fire she’d felt with Josh, but banked coals can warm the heart as well.

Bethanie moved her lips to his ear. “Are you saying you wish me to stop?” She pressed her mouth to his neck and kissed him softly.

“No, never.” Ben’s voice was ragged with passion now. “But I can’t take much more.”

“Then maybe,” Bethanie whispered, “you’d best give your word starting tomorrow morning.”

A deep laugh erupted from Ben as he pulled her to him. “Lord, what did I ever do to be given such a wonderful woman?”

Bethanie moved willingly into his arms, now unafraid to tell him the pleasing secrets only a woman can tell a man. The caring in his actions made up for the experience he lacked. Like the first time he entered her, Bethanie cried out, but this time with pleasure, and Ben smothered her cry with his kiss.

An hour later, as Ben cradled her in his arms, Bethanie
heard his breathing grow regular. She lay awake until the candle snuffed itself out in a pool of wax. She knew she’d never tell Ben the truth about her baby, not for the baby’s sake, but for Ben’s.

“Allison’s not gonna come, Beth!” Ben yelled in his usual voice that the entire ranch could hear. “I’ll not have that weak, sniveling woman in my house again.”

“It’s my home, too!” Bethanie stormed as she leaned over the desk toward her husband. His brow was drawn in rage, yet the corner of his mouth turned up as he eyed the strained material across her bulging stomach. Bethanie patted her thick waistline and continued. “And she’s my only relative.”

“But it’s the dead of winter.” Ben lifted a finger as if thinking of a solid point.

“Then there will be plenty of men available to escort her. Besides, the Indians have returned to the Oklahoma Territory by now.” Bethanie folded her arms over her ever-expanding abdomen. “Mike said he would go get Allison as soon as this storm passes.”

“No!” Ben shouted, “I hate whimpering women.”

“Yes,” Bethanie insisted, just as the door to the kitchen swung open and Dusty wandered out, gnawing on a chicken leg.

He glanced at the two people he loved most in the world and lifted his shoulders as if to beg their pardon. His little-boy smile flashed white teeth. “You two at it again?” he asked, seeming to enjoy the glares they both gave him.

“Get out of here, Dusty,” Ben yelled.

“No, stay, Dusty,” Bethanie countered. “You’re part of our family, and you should have some say on the subject.” She’d grown to love the boy dearly, once she got all the dirt scrubbed off him. His brown hair always seemed an inch too long and his eyes a size too large for his face.

Dusty walked over and sat on the side arm of the couch. The snow outside was making him feel cooped up and restless. Unfortunately for Dusty, Bethanie used the opportunity to double up on lessons he’d missed over the summer. He was like a turtle in a box, always testing the limits, always looking for a way out. He enjoyed the company in the main house. The constant food supply seemed needed now for his insatiable appetite, but everyone knew he longed for the outdoors.

Ben threw his hands in the air. “Can I never win an argument? Look, even Dusty follows you, not me.”

Bethanie laughed suddenly. “He knows better than to antagonize the cook, and you should know better than to cross a pregnant woman.”

“Is that so, Dusty?” Ben grumbled.

Dusty smiled, unfrightened by Ben’s gruff manner. “Partly, but mostly I’ve seen you two go at it all fall, and if Bethanie finds it worth arguing over, she’s planning on winning.”

Ben frowned at the boy. “What do you think we ought to do, Dusty? Should we bring Allison up from San Antonio in the dead of winter, or should we treasure our peace and quiet?”

Dusty pointed his half-eaten chicken leg at Ben. “I ain’t exactly crazy about seeing Miss Allison, either. But you know you can’t say no to Bethanie. Plus, Mike’s had the packhorse saddled for two days in the barn. He’s acting like a bull that got a hold of loco weed. I figure that makes your odds two to one.”

“Oh, all right,” Ben huffed. “She can come, but not until the baby’s due.”

Bethanie knew he was thinking of the last week or two in January and that would be too late. “Please, Ben,” she pleaded as she turned toward him. “Let her come for Christmas.”

“What?” Ben yelled.

“Stop yelling at me, Ben Weston. I can hear you fine. I’m pregnant, not deaf.”

“Then hear me, woman. I’m the man in this house. Your cousin can visit, but only till the baby comes. Understand?”

Bethanie moved around his desk and kissed his cheek. “Anything you say,” she whispered, knowing he had given in on every count.

“Dusty,” Bethanie turned to the boy. “Play Ben some checkers while I put supper on the table. Maybe it’ll cool his temper.”

As they began a game, Bethanie moved about the dining room. Two more weeks until Allison would come. Her cousin had written begging to come, but the snow was delaying the trip. Bethanie remembered how hopeless Allison sounded in her letter. Times were hard for her since Martha’s death. She had to grow up fast. Wilbur had departed midsummer with a cattle drive to make some quick money. Somehow, Allison had managed to run the hotel during his long absence. He hadn’t returned in October with the other men, but had sent a message saying he knew a way to make some fast money up North and would see her soon. Allison sounded lonely and, judging from her questions, more than a little interested in Mike. It would be good to have her near when the baby came, and the hotel could easily be closed for a few of the winter months. With all the Indian attacks, there were very few travelers brave enough to venture as far out as San Antonio.

Bethanie touched her stomach and felt the child within her move. Never, if she lived to be a hundred, would anything feel so wonderful.

Three days passed before the sun began to melt the snow. Within hours the ranch transformed itself from an iceland into miles of slush and mud. While most of the hands trudged through the sticky earth to check on cattle, Mike prepared for his journey to collect Allison. He’d written to her during the fall, then proclaimed to anyone who would listen that he was in love enough to offer marriage. He’d every intention of doing so before her visit ended.

Bethanie watched him go. Mike was a fine man and would make a good husband for Allison. He’d told them already of his plan to buy a spread just to the north. Ben had offered to loan Mike enough money to buy the land in exchange for Mike’s work as foreman for six years. Mike could use the years to start his own herd.

A dull pain in the small of Bethanie’s back bothered her all afternoon. She knew it would be only a few weeks now before her child was born, maybe sooner. As the months had passed, the baby had somehow become more and more Ben’s and less Josh’s child. Though a part of her would always be somewhere with Josh, she allowed herself little time to think of him. Only during her quiet moments to herself did she dare think his name and again feel the pain of longing for his touch. He’d left his mark on her very soul and no amount of denial would erase it.

Bethanie pushed Josh once more from her thoughts as she helped Ruth clear the dinner dishes. Without warning an agonizing pain stretched around her abdomen like long, willowy vines. Bethanie crumbled to her knees by the windows. “Ruth,” she whispered, fear reflecting in
her voice. Bethanie glanced around, but Ben must be at his desk, out of sight from her corner of the dining area.

Ruth was instantly at her side. There was no need for her to ask why Bethanie called. Ruth knelt beside her, bracing Bethanie’s body up with her own strength. “Relax, don’t fight it, the pain will stop in a moment.”

Bethanie couldn’t reply. She nodded as sweat dampened her forehead. Ruth put a protective arm around her shoulder. “It’s starting,” she said simply. The older woman showed no sign of surprise or alarm.

“I’m afraid,” Bethanie whispered as she let out a long-held breath. “I don’t want Ben to know.”

“You, afraid, Miss Bethanie?” Ruth chuckled in an uncommon laugh. “Why, you’re the bravest woman I know. Didn’t I hear how you fought off a war party of Indians single-handedly?” Ruth squeezed her arm lightly. “Don’t you worry now. I’ve watched many women deliver. I know what to do when the time comes.” She smiled, cracking her skin into thousands of tiny lines. “We’ve got a long night of work ahead, but I’ve never known you to be afraid of work. The baby will know how to come out. All I have to do is catch it.”

“The pain is gone now,” Bethanie answered as Ruth helped her to her feet. The housekeeper seemed as excited as if she were the grandmother.

“I’ll get you into bed, then I’ll make you a glass of that herb tea you like so well,” Ruth whispered. “No need worrying the men just yet. They tend to get all antsy when a baby’s comin’.”

Bethanie crossed the large room with Ruth a step behind her. “I think I’ll retire early, Ben,” she said with more cheer than she felt.

“Fine, Beth, I’ll read a while longer.” Ben never bothered to raise his eyes from the book he was reading. He might grumble about Dusty having to spend too much
time at schooling, but Ben anxiously awaited each box of new books.

Just as Ruth helped Bethanie into bed, another pain struck. This one was sharper than the last, like long, thin fingers strangling her middle. Bethanie lay back and tried to relax, but for the next two hours she marked time in the minutes between contractions.

“Beth.” Ben bumped her bedroom door open. “I thought you were…” He stopped in midsentence at the sight before him. Bethanie lay in the bed she hadn’t slept in for months, and Ruth sat beside her holding her hand.

“The time is near,” Ruth answered Ben. Bethanie closed her eyes, as another contraction racked her body.

Ben rolled his chair to the bed and took Bethanie’s other hand. “You should have called me,” he scolded.

“I didn’t want to worry you needlessly,” Bethanie answered when she was able to speak.

“Worry me,” Ben exclaimed. “My God, woman, you’re having my child.” His voice was rough, yet his touch gentle. “Isn’t it too soon?” He looked at Ruth. “Could something be wrong?”

Ruth shook her head. “Babies come when they’re ready, early or not. I’ve never known one to come when expected.” She stood, leaving Bethanie to Ben. “I’ll boil water to wash everything and tell Dusty to go break a branch off that willow out back.” She was gone before Ben could ask any questions.

Ben wiped the sweat from Bethanie’s forehead. “Are you all right?”

“Yes, Ben. Go back to your reading. It’ll be a long night.”

Ben shook his head. “I wish we lived close enough to go for a doctor. Would you like me to send a man to fetch one of the sisters?”

“No,” Bethanie answered. “Ruth will help me.” The last thing she wanted was one of those noisy sisters in
the house. They might be the nearest women other than Ruth, but they’d never been interested in her except as a topic of gossip and she couldn’t see having them here now.

Ben pulled the blanket up to her shoulders even though she was sweating from the strain of the last contraction. “I’ll not leave you,” he insisted.

“But, Ben,” Bethanie scolded. “Men don’t watch babies being born. It’s not decent.”

“Decent or not, I’m not leaving you.” Ben drew his eyebrows together. “Do you think I could wait in the other room while you suffer in here? I love you too much for that.”

Bethanie smiled. It was the first time Ben had spoken of love. Though his actions told her in a thousand ways, he was not given to pretty words. “All right, Ben,” she said as another pain gripped her. His strong hand held her tightly until the contraction lessened.

The hours passed as the pains grew stronger and closer, finally coming almost one on top of the other. Bethanie’s long hair was wet with sweat and Ben’s face pale with worry.

Ruth moved about the room, keeping a fire going, changing towels under Bethanie as her water broke, and always encouraging her.

“Ruth…Ruth,” Bethanie cried, “I have to push.” The contractions were so strong she felt her insides might crumble from the pressure.

Ruth produced a short stick about the width of a fat cigar. “As the baby comes, bite down on this,” she said. It was a short branch of the willow tree that had been stripped of all its bark.

Ruth lifted the sheet at Bethanie’s legs and sat at the foot of the bed, waiting. Bethanie had to laugh even as tears of strain rolled down her face. Ruth looked as
though she were waiting for a stage to arrive instead of a baby.

Bethanie felt the next contraction begin and put the stick in her mouth. One fear she’d had all during the pregnancy was that she might call Josh’s name and not Ben’s when in pain. She pressed her teeth into the soft wood. Now she would not cry out.

The pain grew, and Bethanie pushed with all her strength as she felt her entire insides sliding downward toward Ruth.

“I see its head!” Ruth shouted happily.

Bethanie glanced at Ben, thinking to see the same joy, but Ben’s face was a dark cloud of worry. His face was twisted in agony, yet he looked wonderful to her now. He was here with her when she needed his strength. She knew he wasn’t thinking of the baby, but only of her pain. In the moments between pushes, Bethanie squeezed his hand. Deep in his dark eyes she saw the love of a strong man. As she pushed again, Ben’s face showed the same strain, the same pain as she felt. They were together as one, bringing their child into the world.

As she felt the tightening of another contraction, she rolled forward, grabbing her knees on either side of her huge bulk. She pushed as perspiration beaded all over her body, and the child emerged from deep within her.

Exhausted, Bethanie collapsed as Ruth lifted a tiny baby into the air. The older woman rushed across the room to the fire and began frantically working to clear the child’s mouth and lungs of water. Seconds later, cries filled the room as Ruth wrapped the newborn tightly.

Ben held Bethanie as a chill overtook her. He yelled above the baby, each word showing his concern. “Ruth, is Bethanie all right? She’s shaking like she’s chin deep in snow, yet she’s covered with sweat.”

Before Ruth could answer Bethanie stopped shaking and cuddled close to Ben’s arm. Ben wiped the long
strands of hair from her face. “She’s so pale,” he whispered.

Ruth walked toward the new parents. “She’s fine. She’s quite a lady. I’ve seen women go through half as much with twice the trouble. She’ll be needing her rest now, so she can feed this little screamer in a few hours.”

Ben smiled down at Bethanie. “I’m a lucky man.”

“No,” Ruth corrected. “You’re a lucky father.” She laid the bundle in his arms. “She’s tiny, no more than five pounds, but from her yells, I’d say she’s sturdy enough.”

Ben stared in wonder at the baby in his arms as Ruth moved around Bethanie, freshening the bed. Bethanie opened her eyes and turned to watch Ben with the baby. He examined the tiny hand like a man holding the world’s greatest treasure. The baby’s small fingers encircled Ben’s thumb and pulled it toward her mouth. Ben laughed, all worry vanishing from his face.

Bethanie raised on one elbow. “I’m sorry, Ben, I know you wanted a boy.”

“Who said?” Ben answered. “Look, Beth, isn’t she the most beautiful girl you’ve ever seen? I’m so glad she’s not ugly like other babies I’ve seen.”