Best of Both Rogues (19 page)

“Oh, Eve.” Amelia left her seat to perch on the arm of Eve’s chair and hugged her. “You know Ben better than either of us. If your intuition is telling you he needs your help, you must trust it. Please be patient with him, though, and do not give up. It might take some time for him to realize he isn’t alone anymore and doesn’t have to face his troubles alone.”

Eve saw no choice but to keep trying. She had learned from watching her parents attempt to cope with Papa’s problems that loneliness and despair were the result of going it alone. She hoped Ben would come to realize they were stronger and more capable of overcoming obstacles together. And if he couldn’t reach this conclusion on his own, she did not mind giving him a gentle push. In fact, he might need a nudge in that direction tonight.

Ben folded the letter he’d received from Charlotte’s brother that afternoon and dropped it on the side table as he began to prepare for bed. Mr. Davis, his man of business, had composed a letter on Ben’s behalf last week, while he had been focused on courting Eve, requesting Ben be allowed to pay the Tanneys’ rent before they were evicted. Ben had already written twice since his return to England with similar offers, and her brother politely declined each time.

When Ben learned Charlotte’s brother was on the verge of losing the bakery in Eton and that Robert Tanney and Charlotte’s mother might be evicted, he’d wanted to help. If he and Charlotte had successfully eloped as they’d planned, the Tanneys would be his kin, and he wouldn’t allow any of his family to go without their basic needs being met. In fact, he preferred the Tanneys do more than just survive. He wanted to see them enjoy a certain level of comfort he could easily provide.

Since he hadn’t been able to purchase the building from Wellham like he’d wanted, he thought perhaps an appeal from a stranger would make it easier for Robert to save his pride and accept help. Unfortunately, Ben’s man of business hadn’t been any more successful than he had.

Robert had returned the banknote with a strongly worded refusal.
With
all
due
respect, Mr. Hillary’s assistance is neither wanted nor required.
Ben could hear the disdain in the man’s letter. It had the same scornful tone Charlotte’s father had used when Ben tried to pay his respects at their home after her death.

A soft knock sounded at the doors between his and Eve’s chambers. He turned with an expectant smile as his wife entered in her night rail. It was a sweet cotton ensemble with a high collar and lacy ruffles made for sleeping rather than seduction. “Come to say good night, love?” he asked. He expected he wouldn’t be able to fall asleep any time soon since he would be wrestling with what to do about Charlotte’s family now. He was pleased Eve had agreed to sleep in separate chambers.

She approached and lifted to her toes to kiss him. Her hands rested lightly on his shoulders as her lips pressed to his. Her mouth was moist, warm, and inviting. He encircled her waist and held her close when she would have pulled away. Deepening the kiss, he teased her lips with the tip of his tongue. She eagerly opened to him, entwining her arms around his neck and pressing her body against his. He delighted in her sweet sighs and the shivers running down his back where she played with the hair brushing the collar of his dressing gown. When he pulled away, they both were slightly breathless.

“Stay with me?” he whispered.

A dazzling smile swept across her full lips. “That is why I am here, dear husband.” She dropped her arms from around his neck and eased from his embrace. Tossing another flirtatious smile over her shoulder, she moved toward the bed. She kicked off her slippers, climbed under the covers, and leaned against the pillows. Her chin lifted in challenge. “I am staying the night with you. The whole night, as in
sleeping
in your bed.”

His body tensed. That wasn’t his meaning, and she knew it. “We already had this discussion. For now, it is best for you to sleep in your chambers, and I will sleep in mine. There is no sense in you losing sleep too.”

“No, you had this conversation while I listened. It is my turn to talk. While you might think you are showing me a kindness, in reality you are creating distance between us. I realize you don’t see it yet, but I do. Amelia advised me to be patient and persistent, so I—”

“God’s blood, Eve! Don’t tell me you spoke with Amelia and Lisette about this.” His brothers would give him hell once they heard he’d suggested separate bedchambers. He drove his shaky fingers through his hair and stormed to the other side of the room to put distance between them. “I cannot believe you would humiliate me that way.”

“If it is any comfort, I humiliated myself too.” When he turned to argue, he expected to find her glowering or at least with her hands on her hips, but she wasn’t. Her head was tilted at a contemplative angle, as if trying to sort him out. “I didn’t intend to embarrass either of us,” she said in a small voice. “I only wanted to talk with someone, and I didn’t know where else to go.”

Splendid
. He’d brought this on himself. And now he wouldn’t be able to look Daniel or Jake in the eye. “If you wanted to talk, you could have come to me.”

“Could I? I get the sense you would prefer I not.”

He sighed in exasperation toward the ceiling. He didn’t have the wherewithal to reason with her. “Tomorrow,” he said, looking at her. “We will discuss it tomorrow. Is that acceptable?”

“Yes, tomorrow sounds reasonable.” Lifting the covers, she wiggled down in the bed until her head was on the pillow and the counterpane reached her neck.

“What are you doing?”

“Going to sleep.” She closed her eyes with a self-satisfied smile.

His tension doubled. He approached, tossing his hands in the air for emphasis. “You are in
my
bed.”

She opened one eye. “We will discuss it tomorrow, remember?”

“Eve.”

She yawned, loudly. “Excuse me, but I’m done in to a cow’s thumb. Forgive me if I am asleep before you crawl in.”

She closed her eyes while Ben stood beside the bed, befuddled. When had his sweet, amenable wife become so tenacious?

As he stood there waiting for her to respond to his hovering, her chest began to rise and fall with steady regularity. Her face took on a soft innocence that chipped at his frustration. She was asleep already. And she looked so warm and inviting. Longing tugged at his heart. If he couldn’t sleep, he supposed he could retreat to his study below stairs or her chambers where he wouldn’t disturb her. Would he ever be able to maintain his resolve when it came to her?

Making a decision, he ripped off his dressing gown and climbed under the covers, turning on his side facing away from her. It wasn’t well done of him, but he was annoyed with himself for giving in so easily. She rolled toward him to fit her smaller frame to his and snaked her hand under his arm to rest it on his chest.

“I am still in a temper,” he lied, not even feeling as irritated with himself anymore now that her comforting softness was pressed against him.

“I know,” she murmured. “I’m sorry.”

Her answer made him smile. She wasn’t sorry to have him wrapped around her finger. No more sorry than he was to be driven to please her. Raising her hand to his lips, he placed a kiss on her warm fingers. “Good night, Kitten.”

Then, to his surprise, oblivion was claiming him as well.

* * *

Eve was jerked out of sleep by a gut-wrenching keen. She bolted upright in bed, her heart battering her ribs. Ben thrashed beside her. The sound was coming from him.

“Ben, wake up.” She grabbed his shoulder and tried to shake him awake, but he remained lost in his dreams. “Wake up, love. You are dreaming.”

His wail quieted to an occasional whimper that tore her heart to pieces.

She smoothed the hair from his damp forehead as tears sprang to her eyes. “It’s all right, my love. It is only a dream.” The mournful sound eventually died away, but he remained restless. Stretching out beside him, she continued to whisper soothing words and doling out caresses until he began to settle. His dream didn’t wake him as it had on their wedding night, and he didn’t call out this time, but she couldn’t help wondering if he dreamed about Charlotte again.

Even after his breathing returned to normal and he rested peacefully, she stroked his head and placed loving kisses at his temple. “I love you,” she whispered. “So very much.”

She couldn’t bear knowing he suffered in any way. She would carry the burden for him if it were possible rather than endure the sense of helplessness she experienced.

He was lying on his back, and she snuggled against his chest, placing his arm around her. Her hand splayed over his heart to feel its steady, robust rhythm. She could feel the strength of his heartbeat and the firmness of his chest beneath her cheek. Her husband was a strong man, built of brawn, but there was a vulnerability to him she hadn’t suspected. And she loved him more than ever in that moment.

Perhaps these nightmares were the true reason he left her bed at night, but why would he feel he had to keep this locked away and hidden?

Whatever his motive, she wouldn’t mention tonight’s incident. She was afraid if he knew, he would use it as an excuse to push her away, and truth be told, she couldn’t stand any more distance between them. His self-imposed exile to India had been brutal for Eve, but nothing was lonelier than having the man she loved within arm’s length and still being unable to reach the place of exile in his mind.

Early morning light had begun to filter through the sheer curtains at the window before she fell asleep again. It seemed only moments had passed when Ben gently jostled her awake, but the room was aglow. She squinted against the brightness. “What time is it?” She sounded like an old toad.

Ben smiled and kissed her cheek. She caught a whiff of tooth powder on his breath. “It’s early still,” he said, “but I did not want to leave without saying good-bye.”

She groaned, rolled on her side, and pulled the covers over her head. Another long day at home dragged out before her.

He chuckled and patted her bottom. “I won’t be going far—only to my study. I am interviewing footmen, and then I have an appointment. This afternoon we will take a trip to the docks so you can see where we will be living for the next few months.”

Eve tossed the covers aside in her excitement. “Ben, why didn’t you say something last night? Alice will be in a dither if she hasn’t enough time to make everything perfect. She says it is a reflection on her.”

She scrambled from bed and swept toward her chambers to ring for her maid.

“You may extend my apologies to Alice,” he called after her. “Tell her to choose something sensible, for it is likely to get dirty at the docks.”

She paused at the adjoining doors and aimed a cheeky grin at him. “A small tip about women, my love. Telling them what to do is an exercise in futility.”

“Yes, I have firsthand knowledge,” he drawled. It was nice to see his good humor had returned this morning. He gave her a little wave, and she disappeared into her chambers.

After having breakfast in her chambers and attending to her correspondence, Eve decided to wait for Ben in the library below stairs.

Dobbins exited Ben’s study as she reached the ground floor. “Mr. Hillary will see you now,” he said.

She startled at his formal manner until she realized a man was standing in the foyer. Curious, she took his measure as he crossed to Ben’s study. The man was certainly tall enough to be a footman—over six feet—but he was willowy like a woman, although his weathered face was far from feminine. How odd that a man his age would answer the advertisement for a fourth footman. Surely if he had been in service long, he would have been promoted. He disappeared into the study.

“Dobbins, is that man here for the footman position?”

“No, ma’am. Mr. Gilroy is from Bow Street.” Her shock must have shown on her face, because the butler rushed to explain. “There is not a problem. Mr. Hillary is hiring him to look into a matter for him. That is all.”

Ben was hiring an investigator from Bow Street? “What matter would that be, Dobbins?”

The servant’s craggy face blazed red. “I am afraid I cannot say, ma’am. Mr. Hillary does not make me privy to his business.”

“Of course, I was not thinking.” She offered an apologetic smile. She hadn’t meant to make Dobbins feel uncomfortable. “Please inform my husband that I am waiting for him in the library once his meetings are finished.”

She could think of only one reason Ben was hiring an investigator. He was looking into matters with Jonathan as she’d requested. Her step was livelier as she retired to the library. Despite her husband’s protests that they mind their own affairs, he thought there was something strange about Jonathan too. Well, she could rest easier knowing everything was in his hands now.

Eve had never been to the docks. She gawked at everything, not knowing which way to look next. She swung her head toward the massive rows of warehouses lined up like disciplined soldiers on her right then back to the enormous ships moored to her left until she felt a little dizzy. She counted eight of the floating giants on this stretch of the river, although Ben said the docks could accommodate three hundred ships. That many ships in one area were inconceivable to her.

The docks were much more orderly than she had anticipated. When she had first heard about the ruffians and thieves who frequented this seedy area of London, she had been sufficiently frightened, which she supposed was her mother’s intention. Mama had warned her away from visiting Ben at the docks when they were betrothed. Eve had never been one to take unnecessary risks, so the lecture had been senseless, but it made Mama feel better.

Dock laborers—rough-looking men with faces tanned and weathered like animal hides—cut in front of them with creaky carts headed toward a warehouse. Ben pulled her to a stop.

She glanced around while they waited for the men to pass. “Where is Hillary Shipping?”

“In Wapping, close to the Pool,” Ben said, smiling down at her. “Our grandfather started his business there. Even though most of Daniel’s ships arrive and depart from the West India docks, and the bulk of mine must go through the East docks, we never moved the office. Daniel thought it would be bad luck.”

“Is it far? I would like to see it.”

“I’m afraid it is no place for a lady.”

She refrained from rolling her eyes. “I am with my overprotective husband. I’ll be perfectly safe. I want to see your office.”

He slanted a long-suffering glance at her. “Lord save me if you refused to take no for an answer.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” She faced him with her hands on her hips.

He grinned and tweaked her nose. “It means I’m almost powerless to deny you anything.”

“
Almost?
It sounds like I need to work harder,” she teased.

Once the path was clear, they continued along the quay, joking with one another and chatting about this part of Ben’s life she wanted to know better.

“You share Hillary Shipping with Jake too,” she said. “Does he keep ships?”

Ben shook his head and drew her protectively under his arm to wait as another set of men rolled barrels down a gangplank. “Jake advises us on legal issues that arise, and he plays nice with members of Parliament who start squawking about sponsoring legislation that could interfere with business.”

“It sounds as if he was saddled with the least desirable tasks.”

“Out of necessity. He is the only one of us with enough patience to deal with the windbags.”

She smiled. Jake had likely developed the ability to navigate strong personalities at a young age. How else was he to survive his three older brothers?

Through a gap between ships, she spotted a rowboat with five men in the main channel of the Thames. They pushed the oars through the murky water with brute strength to make the boat inch up river. The River Thames was always in motion—a living entity that slithered through London like a cunning serpent. She shivered and returned her attention to the ships.

“Are you cold?” Ben drew them to a stop to shrug off his jacket.

“No, I’m fine.”

Despite her reassurance, he draped the garment over her shoulders. She grabbed for her bonnet, holding it down as the breeze along the quay jerked at the brim. Ben brushed aside a strand of hair that flew in her eyes.

“I have never been fond of the river,” she admitted.

“You are not afraid of the water, are you? Many people are. We will be at sea for days on end. Will it bother you?”

She scrunched her nose and laughed at herself again. “I’m not afraid of the water. I can swim, at least a little. It is the river. It reminds me of a giant snake.”

Ben lifted an eyebrow and his lips twitched in mirth. “My, you
are
fanciful today, Mrs. Hillary.”

“I am fanciful every day, Mr. Hillary, but I typically keep my thoughts to myself.”

“Well, I do hope you plan to abandon the habit of keeping your thoughts a secret. I love the way your mind works. Here she is.” He swept a hand toward the gangplank the men had used to disembark the ship. “My pride and joy, the
Eve
Lorraine
.”

Her eyes flew open wide. “You named a ship for me?”

“Of course I did. Every gentleman christens at least one ship for his beloved.”

The sight of his loving smile paired with the most romantic gesture she could have imagined caused her heart to nearly burst with happiness.

“I’m anxious for you to see her.” He stepped onto the gangplank and held out his hand. “Shall we?”

She nodded, too overcome to speak. Placing her hand in his, she allowed him to lead her onboard ship—her
namesake
. Chills raced down her back.

Ben identified different parts of the ship as they crossed the deck. “The cabin under the half deck serves as temporary accommodations for important guests,” he said as they reached a solid door with an iron handle.

“Will important passengers be traveling with us?”

He grinned. “None as important as the owner’s wife. This will be our cabin during the voyage.” Tugging the door, he directed her inside to a space larger than she had expected.

Eve looked around with an assessing eye. It had small windows along the sides of the cabin, which kept it from feeling like a tomb, and it boasted a plush bed, but she would want the coverlet from her bedchamber at home and extra pillows. There was also a small space for a dressing table to be placed next to the washstand, which she would need. “The cabin is already well appointed. I cannot think of much more we should need.” She spun toward him to find him watching her with twinkling eyes. “You have been busy, Mr. Hillary.”

He shrugged in a modest gesture that endeared him to her. “It is only the basics. We won’t set sail for another two weeks. That should give you enough time to outfit our cabin to your specifications. The lighting is fair, but if you prefer more for reading, you may visit the great cabin during the day.”

“What a lovely suggestion. I will visit the bookshop before we leave.” She pulled a piece of foolscap from her reticule and helped herself to the quill and ink on a desk in the corner before scribbling “books” on her list. “Where will my maid sleep?” Alice had surprised and pleased Eve by expressing her wish to travel with them. At once, Eve had abandoned plans to hire a younger lady’s maid to accompany her on the trip.

“There is a cabin on the deck below where she should be comfortable if you would like to see it.”

“Yes, I want to make her quarters as comfortable as possible.” Her loyal maid deserved a few comforts at her age and after her unwavering kindness during Ben’s absence.

Once they had toured Alice’s cabin and the great room, they returned to their cabin so Eve could look around once again and add more items to her list. Ben lounged at the desk with his foot propped over his knee and allowed her as much time as she liked.

Once she felt confident she hadn’t missed anything, she folded the foolscap, tucked it into her reticule, and issued a contented sigh. “I’m eager for our trip. Are you certain we must wait two weeks?”

He flinched. “Yes, about that… I have something I would like to discuss with you.” Standing, he waved toward the chair. “Would you like to sit?”

Her heart gave a little flip when he regarded her with such a grim expression. She did as he requested, settling her skirts around her, but she didn’t know what to do with her hands all of a sudden. They fluttered for a moment before she forced them to be still, folded them on her lap, and tipped up her head to meet his gaze. “What is it you would like to discuss?”

She hoped it wasn’t more of that nonsense about sleeping alone. They hadn’t discussed anything further this morning, and she would rather they forget about the entire affair. She certainly had no plans to sleep alone onboard ship.

* * *

Ben propped on the edge of the desk, wondering if he was doing the right thing by considering delaying their departure until he had settled things with Charlotte’s family. He didn’t want her misinterpreting his need to help the Tanneys, but it felt wrong to leave England without seeing to their welfare. Eve had sworn she never felt threatened by Charlotte, but he didn’t want her believing he hadn’t let go of his first love. His heart belonged to Eve and had for a very long time.

Nibbling her bottom lip, she lifted her gaze and his heart expanded until it felt too full for his chest. He leaned forward to kiss away her worries. Her plump mouth moved in unison with his, and he was tempted to abandon the topic for another time, but he wouldn’t. It was best to have the matter in the open.

He reluctantly broke the kiss and sat up. “At breakfast the other day, you invited me to talk about Charlotte. Although there is nothing more to say about our time together, I must do something for her family before we travel abroad.”

“Very well.” Eve’s open expression and unquestioning acceptance eased his concern that she might misunderstand his motivations. “What can I do to assist?”

A relieved smile spread across his face. “Nothing at the moment, but I might need to travel to Eton before we set sail. There is a chance it won’t be necessary if I can connect with the Earl of Wellham, but he has been a hard man to find.”

Because he could see the confusion in the furrowing of her brow, he started telling his story from the beginning of his campaign to save the Tanneys’ bakery. “When I returned to London, I sent a man to inquire after Charlotte’s family. I’ve kept abreast of them over the years. It is just something I felt I needed to do.”

Eve reached for his hand and threaded their fingers together. “You still care about the Tanneys.”

He shook his head. “It has never been like that for us. Charlotte’s family was pleased when I started showing interest in her, but after her death, her father blamed me. I doubt they care if I live or die, but I made promises to Charlotte. I promised to take care of her and her family, and I need to keep my word.”

Eve rose from the chair, then sat on the edge of the desk beside him. She stroked his back, her nails lightly scratching through his waistcoat. “Mr. Tanney was wrong. You didn’t cause her death. You realize this, don’t you?”

“I do.” On some level, this was true. He hadn’t caused Charlotte’s accident directly, but he bore some responsibility. “Come here.”

He widened his stance, and Eve moved to stand between his legs. She twined her arms around his neck and pressed a sweet kiss to his cheek.

His hands spanned her waist and instead of the past flashing through his mind, he saw his future—the children Eve would bear him, the happy home they would have together, a lifetime of laughter and love. He needed to do this one thing for Charlotte’s family, so he could embrace the life he had been given with Eve.

“What did your man learn about the Tanneys?” she asked.

“Her father died while I was in Delhi. Pneumonia. Charlotte’s brother inherited the bakery, but it seems his father had fallen on hard times and Robert Tanney hasn’t been able to make a go of it. He is behind on rent, and the Tanneys will be evicted by the end of the month.”

“Couldn’t you settle the debt for Charlotte’s brother?” There was no hesitation in her response. To Eve, it was natural that he would pay the Tanneys’ debts, even if it possibly meant less in the coffers for her.

Pulling her close, he brushed a kiss across her cheek. “God, I love you. How is it you can be kind and understanding about this?”

“It is easy when I have everything. My life is rich. I can afford to show a little kindness to others.”

He held on, resting his cheek lightly on the top of her bonnet. His life was richer than he had ever hoped, but he constantly wrestled with the fear he could lose it all in a blink. He should embrace happiness as easily as his wife, but he didn’t know how.

“I tried to assist Mr. Tanney as you suggested, but he has refused every offer of assistance,” he said. “I understand that he has his pride, but I can’t allow him to lose the bakery and end up on the streets. Charlotte’s mother is already in poor health. My second thought was to purchase the property from Lord Wellham and forgive the debt, but as I said, he has taken off to regions unknown. I met with an investigator this morning to make one last attempt to find the earl, but I am not counting on success.”

Eve played with the hair at his nape, and he closed his eyes to savor the tingles generated by her touch. “That explains the Runner I saw earlier. I thought you were hiring him to look into the situation with Sir Jonathan.” When his eyes widened, she held up a hand to stop his chastisement. “I will not say anything more about it, I promise. If he said he wants to keep us out of his private affairs, who am I to argue? Perhaps Lady Norwick knows why he was behaving so oddly before he left. Maybe she knows some of his associates and could question them.”

He couldn’t allow her to involve Lady Norwick or pursue this any further, no matter what Hackberry said about forgetting their conversation. “Eve, your curiosity and good intentions will do more harm than good. You must leave well enough alone. Our lives could be in jeopardy if you begin meddling in his affairs.”

“In jeopardy how? That is ridiculous.” She dropped her arms from around his neck and tried to step back, but he drew her closer. Her hands rested against his chest, and he wondered if she could feel the pounding of his heart. Her complexion drained of color as she appeared to comprehend he was serious. “W-what has Sir Jonathan gotten involved in?”

His throat grew tight when he looked into her fearful eyes. “I didn’t intend to scare you, dearling. I promise, you are safe as long as you abandon this fascination with uncovering Sir Jonathan’s secrets.”

She shook her head, denying her fear, but her eyes were misty and her bottom lip trembled. “Are you in danger too?”

“No, and neither are you.” He caressed her cheek with his thumb. “We are both safe as long as we forget about Sir Jonathan. I don’t know what he has gotten into exactly, but he can take care of himself. I saw how capable he is of self-defense, and he doesn’t require help from either of us. Promise you will never go to his town house again or make inquiries about him. I need to know you are safe.”