Betrayals (44 page)

“But on our way to where?” a woman begged rather than demanded, looking as though she were about to cry. “We can’t go back to our former lives, not when they know where we come from and can follow us there. My father has always been willing to believe the worst about his children, so he’d never even try to keep them from taking me again … I have nowhere to go, but I’m…afraid to stay with you …”

“Let me answer her,” Tamma said to a suddenly uncomfortable Valiant, then she turned to the woman. “A lot of us go through life being pushed around by every circumstance we come across, but the day comes when we reach a fork in the road. One of those forks lets us continue on the same way we’ve been going, allowing everyone but us to be in charge of our lives, but the second fork offers the opportunity for change. It gives us the chance to take charge of our own lives no matter how scary that sounds, so that we’ll learn how to cope with things without fear. Whether you decide to stay or decide to go after all, you first have to choose one of those forks. You haven’t been abandoned by circumstance, you’ve been given an opportunity—but only if you make it one. All anyone else can do is wish you luck, which I now do.”

The woman stared at Tamma with desperation in her eyes, but her mind was actually beginning to think about what she’d been told. The idea of change is always painful and hard, Jovvi knew, not to mention frightening, but if more people tried to embrace it they would certainly surprise themselves. The woman might be able to do it, but that remained to be seen.

“The five of us, along with anyone who cares to come, will be leavin’ first thing in the mornin’,” Valiant said into the following silence. “That means you have until then to make up your minds, unless you already have. For those who have, we’ll be havin’ a meetin’ later to discuss our plans, and we’ll announce when as soon as we decide about it. For those of you who decide to leave, we wish you all the best.”

And then Valiant went back to rejoin Rion and Lorand, having no idea that he’d put Jovvi on the verge of having a terrible headache. All those emotions flying every which way … Jovvi erected what barriers she could, then hoped very hard that everyone made up their minds as quickly as possible….

CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

When Valiant closed the door on any more open discussion, everyone started to talk to the people around them. Or almost everyone. Some of them looked as though they’d already made up their minds, and I would have enjoyed knowing in which direction. It did matter, I told myself, but then I had to admit that I was so very interested in how people would decide because that kept me from trying out Jovvi’s idea. I was supposed to court Valiant the way he’d courted me, trying to get him to change his mind the gentle way. When I discovered myself thinking that I’d rather yell and shout, I felt not only disgusted but ashamed. If he’d made the effort for me, and he had, how could I refuse to do the same for him?

I took a deep breath after silently admitting that I couldn’t, and finally looked over at him where he stood drinking his tea. Rion and Lorand had gotten into a conversation and Naran stood listening to them, so the opportunity I’d spoken about earlier couldn’t be ignored. I stood up clutching my own cup of tea, and forced myself to walk over to him.

“I think you were wise not to let a debate get started,” I began, wishing I’d taken a deeper breath before beginning. “No matter what anyone says, some of them may not even have their minds made up by tomorrow morning.”

“Well, they can’t stay here,” Valiant responded, only giving me a quick glance. “Meerk pointed out that this is the first place the next group of guardsmen will check, and anyone left behind here will be retaken. I’ll be mentionin’ that later, so they’ll know they have to make up their minds by the mornin’ … Tamrissa, I don’t want you gettin’ the wrong idea. What I did before we slept had nothin’ to do with the decision I told you about. Just because you needed someone—and I did, too—doesn’t mean I’ve changed my mind.”

“Oh, I know that,” I told him with a small laugh, taking the first step to calm his fears. “There’s no need to worry about it. I just wanted you to know I thought you did a marvelous job, guiding everyone in the direction they have to go in. You always look so handsome that they couldn’t help but be impressed, especially in the shirt and trousers you’re now wearing. All colors suit you, but these most of all.”

“Blue and white with touches of gray,” he said, sounding as though he mentioned the colors because he couldn’t think of anything else to say. He also looked suddenly worried. … “Tamrissa, what are you doin’?”

“Oh, nothing,” I responded with a smile I hoped was appropriate. “I just thought it would be pleasant if I were nice to you for a change. I mean, you were really nice to me just a little while ago, and it’s only right to show how much I appreciated it. I hope it doesn’t embarrass you, or make you uncomfortable … ?”

I let my words trail off into a question, ignoring the way he looked even more worried now. I would not let myself get annoyed over the fact that the imminent attack of a hundred guardsmen had fazed him not at all, but my being nice got him worried….

“I… suppose it just takes some gettin’ used to,” he finally responded, his tone and expression both extremely cautious. “But I’m afraid you’ll have to excuse me now. There’s somethin’ I’ve been needin’ to ask Meerk.”

“Of course,” I made myself answer with the same smile, holding tight to the power to keep from losing my temper. “You and I can talk again later.”

“Later, right,” he muttered with that same expression, then he hurried off to where Meerk was talking to Lidris. I watched him for no more than another moment, then turned and walked over to Jovvi.

“So how do you think it went?” I asked her, very aware of her strange expression as she tried not to glance at Valiant. “My own opinion is that he may very well leave with those who decide against joining us.”

“Oh, it isn’t that bad,” she hastened to assure me, sounding about as convincing as someone speaking to a dying person and telling them that they’re going to live. “I’ll admit he was a bit… taken aback, but didn’t you feel the same when he started to court you?”

“I was nervous, not panic-stricken,” I pointed out, trying to get rid of the dryness my voice had taken on. “If the next time I go to talk to him he turns to run, would it be more polite to trip him, or simply run along behind? Talking all the while, of course, in an effort to calm him down.”

“All right, I’ll admit it didn’t go very well at all,” she said, finally letting out the soft laugh she’d been choking on. “You did make him extremely nervous, because he doesn’t understand what you’re up to. Men are like that sometimes, so maybe you ought to tell him what you’re doing. It would be easier than tripping him or chasing along behind.”

“Easier, but not quite as fair,” I mused. “After all, you have to remember that he didn’t tell me what he was doing when he decided to court me. He pretended it was just some innocent conversation he was after, that and a bit of time in my company. If I’m supposed to do things the way he did, wouldn’t explanations be out of order?”

“I suppose that depends on whether you’re trying to get him back or trying to get even,” she replied, her smile now on the wry side. “When you make up your mind, you’ll be able to answer your own question. And while you’re thinking about it, let’s help with the preparations for tonight’s mass cremation. We can’t leave here without giving those people a proper send-off.”

That was something I didn’t even want to argue, so I followed her while my mind worked on the last question she’d put. It was fair to ask whether I was interested in getting back the man who meant so much to me, or whether I was simply interested in getting even with him. If I hadn’t been touching the power, the answer would have been easy.

But I was touching the power and couldn’t stop touching it, so my reactions were almost alien to what I used to consider normal. The way Valiant looked down at me so warily, almost as though he were afraid of me, was hilarious to my current mood once I thought about it for a while. It wasn’t my talent that caused his reaction, but small, helpless, little me. At one time I would have been horribly upset at the thought, that I could make a man his size want to run.

Now I just wanted to laugh in delight, enjoying the pure silliness of the situation. I had no idea what he imagined I would—or could—do to him, but the urge to chortle over possible future scenes was definitely there. That wasn’t to say that I didn’t seriously want him back, but maybe I could keep the silliness going a little longer… ?

It took all the rest of the afternoon to prepare for the mass cremation, and by the time everything was ready I no longer wanted to laugh. Those poor people had been murdered in cold blood, and I couldn’t help wondering if they’d known their children would be killed along with them. Knowing that would have been harder than the awareness of their own coming deaths, and I no longer felt queasy over what we’d done to those attacking guardsmen. They may or may not have been the actual ones who’d killed all those people, but they were certainly of the same type. They’d been ready to kill us without giving us the least chance, counting on their greater numbers to let them do it in safety.

But they hadn’t been quite as safe as they thought, and as I ranged myself along with the other Fire magic users in our group, I found that a satisfying memory. If you only pick on people you know you can best you’re a coward, and cowards deserve everything that happens to them.

Our group of Fire magic users linked in order to set flame to all the bodies at the same time, something I could have done alone if I’d had to. But this send-off was important to everyone there, and by letting it be a group effort we were including even those who didn’t have Fire magic. We all watched the flames consume those poor, pathetic bodies, and when there was nothing left but ash, Valiant stepped forward.

“Everyone should know by now that it won’t be possible for anyone to stay here after the rest of us leave,” he announced. “There will be more guardsmen comin’ after that first group, and this is the first place they’ll check. Those of us goin’ to Quellin will be havin’ a short meetin’ now, and anyone who’s decided to come along with us should join the meetin’. The rest of you can have your own meetin’, to decide where you’re goin’ from here. Just know that you’ll be takin’ our good wishes with you.”

He began to walk toward the cooking fire near the barn, and the first tentative stirring of the crowd turned into a stream of people who followed him. After the stream ended there were four people who hadn’t gone with the rest, three men and a woman. They looked longingly after everyone else, but ended up turning and walking in the other direction. The woman with them was the one who had spoken earlier about being afraid, and I couldn’t decide whether or not to feel sorry for her. If she’d made the decision not to stay, that was all right. But if she’d let her fear make the decision for her…

But all I could do was shrug and follow along after everyone else. I’d wanted to see how many had decided not to go with us, and now I had. I’d also wanted to see if any of them would turn out to have Fire magic, but none of the four did. I suppose the talent does affect a person’s nature to some extent, but when I reached our meeting and heard Alsin talking, I forgot about everything else.

“… have to get a look at the place first, but I seriously doubt that it’s a fortress,” he was in the midst of saying. “Our general plan will be to cause a distraction designed to draw away whatever guards are nearest our people, and then to release our people. Once our numbers are increased, our position will be a good deal stronger.”

“What will we do if our people are drugged, the way we were?” one man asked. “We won’t be able to simply release them then, not when they can’t run with us.”

“Chances are good that they won’t be drugged, but they might well be conditioned,” Alsin responded. “If they are, then it’s up to our Blending to uncondition them. They think they can do that, and it will be done before we stage our distraction. But please keep in mind that this is a general outline, which will almost certainly be changed once we see what Quellin is like. If their garrison isn’t very big, we can take them over instead of having to distract them. After that we can take more time getting our people back to themselves, but not too much time. The pursuit from Gan Garee will certainly continue, and we have to keep that firmly in mind.”

“Is that what we’ll be doing once we free those people in Quellin?” someone else asked. “Spending the rest of our lives running away from pursuit? That’s not my idea of a very satisfactory life.”

“It isn’t ours either,” Valiant stepped forward to say when Alsin hesitated. “But it also wasn’t our idea to have the nobility cheat us of what we’d earned, then set guardsmen after us to take our lives. The rest of you weren’t meant to be killed, just enslaved in some way, but now they won’t be takin’ any chances. You’ve all found out about their cheatin’, and they’ll also be afraid that we told you about Blendin’. And we will tell you all about it, but we urge you not to try it until you’ve had a bit more practice with your talent. And until we can find a place for you to practice without anyone noticin’.”

That sent a ripple of surprised exclamations through the crowd, possibly because none of them believed that we would share the way to Blend. Some of them might decide that they didn’t want to know, but the rest would listen with both ears….

And listen they did. Someone stood up and asked if they could hear the details right now, and when Valiant agreed at once, no one got up and left. He described the proper way to stand and how the Spirit magic member had to start things by reaching out to everyone else, then talked about the need for everyone to reach toward the other members of their group. It didn’t take very long, and once he was through explaining, the meeting was obviously over. Our companions were too eager to discuss what they’d just learned to want to sit and listen to anything else. Our own group moved off to one side, and no one noticed that we were gone.