Better (Stark Ink Book 2) (13 page)

Dalton closed the door behind Adam, managing to resist the urge to slam it. His older brother had no right to dump all that shit on Zoey, no right at all. Dalton could handle himself, had been doing so for six months now. He was long past the need for a babysitter or someone who was going to make things harder with Zoey. Dalton accepted that he’d made bad choices in the past, but Zoey and the baby weren’t one of them. He refused to believe that.

When he turned to look at her, though, his anger at Adam faded. This was Zoey and Dalton had to admit that through no conscious effort on her part, she had the power of life and death over him, or at least sometimes it seemed that way. He parsed over Adam’s words, pictured Zoey walking away now, or worse, going back to Patrick. The resulting pain felt like it started in his chest and radiated everywhere throughout his body. To deny Adam’s words was to deny what Zoey meant to him and he didn’t think he could do that, maybe he
shouldn’t
do that.

Dalton thought about Jig and what he would have said if Dalton had told the truth about the plant. Jig would want him to be cautious, to be honest with himself.

“Is that what you’re doing?” she asked quietly. “Playing house? Is that what
we’re
doing?”

Dalton sighed. “At one time I thought all I wanted, all I
needed
, was to tell you I was sorry. But it’s more than that. I had —
have
— so much more to say than that, but I don’t know where to start.”

“Say what?” she demanded.

“I don’t know, Zoey.”

“But say what?” she pressed.

“I don’t know!” he insisted. “I don’t know how this goes, Zoey. All I know is that I love you. I’ve always loved you. Even when I was pushing you away, I loved you. Adam’s right. We’re not exactly on quicksand, I don’t believe that, but we’re definitely not on solid ground here, either. Or at least
I’m
not. I don’t know what to do. I’ve only been in love twice in my life.”

“Twice,” she repeated.

He shook his head. He didn’t know exactly what to say but he sensed that what he’d already told her was too much. “I don’t want to put this on you.”

“What? Put what on me?”

He looked at her, the way you’d look at a cliff when you were about to jump off- even if you had a parachute, even if there was water underneath you, that feeling of terror was always there. But as he looked at her, the thought of all the things he’d wanted to say back when he thought he’d never have a chance to say them. “I’m sorry,” “I was wrong,” he’d told her all that. Now it was time to lay it all on the table.

“I love him,” he admitted, feeling strange and slightly panicked now that he had to bring it up. “I talk to him, Zoey. I talk to him at night, when you’re asleep. He hears me. And… I tell myself he likes me. I didn’t mean for it to happen. I wanted to give you space, choices. I didn’t want to pressure you.”

Zoey’s hands fluttered to her stomach, her lips parted in surprise. “You didn’t say anything at the ultrasound. I thought you were mad.”

Dalton shook his head. “I wasn’t mad. I was scared. I was scared you’d say something negative, something like you didn’t want me sticking around and… fuck.” He ran his hand across his face. “Adam’s right. I was playing house. I didn’t want it to end. I fell in love with him.”

Zoey gaped at him.

“You shouldn’t look that surprised. You think I wouldn’t love him? Just because he’s not my blood? Of course I would. Mom and Pop took in Jonah and Ava. Did they love them any less because they were adopted?”

It was a rhetorical question, of course. Zoey had known Mom, known his entire family. She knew who the Starks were. Did she think he wasn’t one of them anymore?

“They raised me right,” Dalton told her. “I… I might have gotten off course there for a while, but I know who I am and I know what’s right, Zoey. You and this boy…” His voice was in serious danger of cracking so he shut himself up long enough to take a deep breath. “They say not to start a relationship for at least a year, in case it goes south. They say get a plant and see if you can take care of it, keep it alive. If you can’t, you’re not ready. I know I’m not doing it right. You’re not supposed to have the plant
and
the relationship at the same time. I don’t know what I’m going to do if I lose you. ”

Zoey gasped and Dalton immediately felt like shit.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” he corrected. “Zoey, Zoey look at me. Those things I did in the past, that’s all on me. And anything I do now or later, that’s on me, too. None of this is your fault. Nothing will ever be your fault. Don’t… stay because you’re afraid for me. I can’t have that. I’m better, Zoey. Or at least, I’m
getting
better. I just… I feel like you two are here for a reason. This is my second chance, Zoey, and I’ll be damned if I’m not going to try and take it. If it doesn’t work, if you don’t want it to work, I’ll find a way to deal with that. But I will be
damned
if I don’t try.”

“The old Dalton wouldn’t have said that. He wouldn’t have risked his pride.”

“Well, I’m not him, Zoey. Not anymore. I’m not saying I know exactly who I am. I’m not saying it wouldn’t be difficult sometimes, but I’m not that man anymore, Zoey. I’m not.”

“You… you really want us? Both of us?”

“More than anything. More than my life. I’m
risking
my life by having you here because I never want to let you go.”

Zoey looked up at him, tears brimming in her eyes. “I was afraid to ask,” she whispered. “I just wanted to pretend, too. For as long as you’d let me.”

All of his breath came out in a rush in that moment. “Oh, Jesus,” he said as he moved toward her. In two steps he had her. She was in his arms, his lips were pressed against her hair, the baby was between them, right where he belonged. “I will do anything I have to,” he promised. “I’ll be anything you need.”

“I know,” she said through her tears. Suddenly she was laughing, laughing and pulling him to her. His lips found hers, but her giggle was infectious. He grinned and bent down, scooping her up in his arms.

“Dalton!” she cried. “I’m too heavy!”

He smirked at her. “Baby, think about who you’re talking to.”

He carried her into the bedroom and laid her down on the comforter. His hand brushed her thigh before dipping between her legs.
“You feel good,” he told her, slowly stroking her. “Bet you taste good.”

Zoey’s eyes were half closed. “Dalton,” she said quietly.

“You don’t have to worry about getting ready for me, baby. I’m going to eat this pussy til it’s soaking wet.”

She sighed as he peeled off her pants and let them fall to the bedroom floor. Her panties weren’t spared either. He ran his fingers through her soft curls just once before he pushed himself back on the bed and sprawled across it. “Saddle up,” he ordered, tugging on her hand.

“What?”

He grinned at her. “You know how this goes. You’re going to ride my tongue.”

To her credit, she didn’t argue, but she did say, “Don’t blow.”

“I know,” he told her. She looked at him curiously. He shrugged. “I might have read it in your book.”

She grinned, letting go of his hand to balance herself as she crawled up his body. She gave him a sly smile as she placed a knee at the side of his head. Dalton couldn’t wait until she was fully settled. He gripped her hips and took a long lick of her slit as her other knee pressed down into the mattress.

Zoey gasped.

He pushed his tongue past her curls and into her folds, searching for her clit. On finding it he gave it a swipe. Zoey pushed down, her swollen nub moving past his lips and into his mouth. He sucked her greedily. Once again she was his, grinding on his face. She pinched her own nipples for him as his fingers smoothed over the rounded flesh above him.

No woman had ever felt more like “his” before. He moved down and tasted her hot, wet hole, teasing it.

Zoey gyrated hard, forcing his tongue deep inside her. She tasted salty and sweet and oh-so-female.

“Don’t,” she rasped, lifting her hips.

Dalton gripped her hard and tried to pull her back. “I want you to finish,” he told her.

“No,” she panted. “Not yet.”

He frowned as she pulled away from him. She moved down until she was straddling his thighs. He would have objected once more, but Zoey grabbed his zipper and yanked it down. She tugged open his fly and his cock bulged out, still encased inside his briefs. Her fingers dug into his waistband, pulling his jeans down. The cool bedroom air hit his erection, but it didn’t flag.

As Zoey leaned down and licked his shaft, Dalton groaned. “Not in your mouth,” he ordered.

She took another lick, teasing him mercilessly.

“Zoey,” he growled. “I’m serious. Do not make me cum in your mouth.”

Her hot breath fell on his skin as her lips sealed around his cockhead. She took him in deep until he hit the back of her throat before pulling it out again. Dalton hesitated a moment, steeling his nerve. As though she sensed she might be winning, her hand slid down into his briefs and cupped his heavy sac. He sucked in a breath as she squeezed. She was gentle, though, thank God for that.

She groaned again, loudly, and the vibration of her throat made him close his eyes.

“Zoey,” he warned. “Trust me, you do not want to challenge me. Pregnant or not I will spank that ass.”

She grinned at him and climbed up over him again. Finally, she gripped his shaft and guided it into her pussy. Dalton held onto her hips as she rode him, her sweet, swollen belly right in his vision. God, she was beautiful.

Zoey may have had mercy on him and decided to let him cum in her pussy, but he could see she hadn’t quite given up the game. The race was on to see who would finish first. She reached down to touch her clit, but he smacked her hand away. “That’s cheating,” he told her. He held her hands to make it fair as he drove into her over and over until his sac drew tight and he felt the familiar tingle. His load pumped straight up into her. He couldn’t tell if she was coherent enough to know she’d lost.

Having mercy on her, he let go of her hands and rubbed her himself. As the last of his load subsided, Zoey came hard and he imagined her squeezing the rest of it out. She finally collapsed beside him, gasping for air. Dalton caught her wrist and pulled gently. Though she was exhausted, she slowly made her way to him once more. She cuddled against him, her belly pressed against his hip and her rested head on his shoulder. Dalton held her tight, not ready to let her go. This was the old Zoey, the fun, adventurous woman he’d fallen in love with. And for the first time in a long time, he felt like the old Dalton. He rested his hand on her belly.

Old Zoey, Old Dalton, New Baby.
His
baby, he decided. And he’d fight like hell to keep it. They were a family and Dalton knew exactly what you were supposed to do when it came to your family.

In the morning, Dalton woke while it was still dark. He lifted the sheets and tried to slide out of bed without waking her. He was unsuccessful, though. Zoey’s hand reached out, grasped his arm and drew him back. He turned to look at her.

She smiled, but her eyes were closed. “Stay. It’s Sunday. Let’s just stay here all day.”

“I can’t.”

The corner of her mouth lifted into a sexy grin. She opened her eyes and looked at him under her lashes. “I can think of some stuff for us to do.” She yawned. “Later, though. Much later. Let’s sleep a little longer.”

“I’d love to, but I really can’t.” He rubbed her arm. “You sleep. I’ll be back later… and we can try out the
stuff
you thought up.”

Zoey groaned. “It’s freezing out. Don’t work on Sundays. It’s a sin. Stay here with me.”

He grinned. “That’s still sinning.” His smile fell a little as he let go of her. He tossed back the covers on his side and stood up. “It’s not work.”

Zoey pulled the sheets up to her chest and sat up. “Meeting?”

He nodded as he stood in front of the closet to grab a clean shirt.

“I… do you want me to come?”

Dalton’s hand froze on a heavy-knit henley. He glanced at her.

“I can go. I
should
go.”

“Zoey—”

“I want to support you, Dalton. This is important, for you, for
us
.”

He pulled the shirt off the hanger and slung it over his shoulder. “I appreciate the thought. And… maybe you can at some point. But not today.”

She frowned. “Why not?”

Dalton rubbed his chin. The truth was, he hadn’t yet told Jig about his change in circumstances. He needed to get that straight and springing Zoey on his sponsor didn’t seem like the best way to do that. Plus, there were other considerations. “I’ve got to talk to some people. I mean, it’s anonymous, and you might recognize some people.”

“Oh. Oh, right,” she said nodding. “I get it. But…sometime?”

As he crossed the room, he stopped at the bed. He reached out and cupped her face with one hand. “Yeah. Sometime. This
is
going to work, Zoey. With or without you, I’m going to make it.”

She pressed his hand to her cheek and leaned into it. “I know.”

It was freezing. She was right about that. He lifted the collar of his coat against the sharp wind. It was probably best she stay at home, in the bed, in
their
bed. As he scraped the ice from the windshield, he considered their new circumstances. Zoey needed a car, one with a backseat. They had a crib, but they’d need a lot of other things. He’d better start a list.

He frowned as he realized he was going to have put off paying Adam the rest of the money he owed. Dalton assumed Adam would get over it. He’d have to. Plus, there was no time limit on making amends. As long as Dalton never forgot about his obligations and he was still working the Program.

He headed to the church and took his usual parking spot. Jig’s truck was already there. This was the hard part. In the back of his mind, Dalton was totally aware that this wasn’t the proper way to do things. He reached into his pocket and rubbed the coin. He didn’t need his life to be easy. He just needed the strength to weather it.

He headed down the stairs and found Jig by the refreshment table. Dalton took a deep breath and headed across the room. “Hey.”

Jig turned, cocking his head at Dalton as he returned the greeting. “So, what’s up?” Jig asked pointedly.

Dalton glanced around the room. They were early and there were only a couple of people already here. He and Jig were in for a long conversation, though. Dalton hoped they could keep it mostly private.

Jig seemed to run out of patience waiting for Dalton to respond. “You going to tell me why you keep doubling up on meetings lately? Is it your old man or the holidays? Work getting you down?”

Dalton shifted uncomfortably as he tried to formulate his answer.

Jig sighed. “Boy, if you slipped you have to tell me. I hate to break it to you, but you gotta come clean and get clean. And yeah it’s a bitch to start over but—”

Dalton jerked his gaze back to Jig. “I didn’t slip!”

Jig pursed his lips.

“Jig, I didn’t slip. I swear it.”

“Then tell me what’s got your goat, boy.”

Dalton took a deep breath as Jig watched him carefully. “Zoey’s back.”

Jig’s eyes narrowed. “Back? Like back in town?”

Dalton shook his head. “Well, yeah, but back with me, too.”

“Dalton—”

“I know. I know everything you’re going to say. The thing is, she needs me. She really needs me and I have to be there for her. There’s just no other way.”

“So, is that it? What aren’t you telling me?”

Dalton finally met the older man’s eyes. “She’s pregnant.”

Jig groaned and shook his head. “Boy, that is
not
what I meant by planting a seed and you know it.”

Dalton lowered his voice so that even Jig strained to hear him. “It’s not mine.”

That seemed to be the proverbial straw. Jig straightened up, squaring his shoulders.

Dalton immediately went on the defensive. “Jig—”

“Everyday.”

“I- what?”

“Every damn day. I want you at a meeting every day for the next two weeks. There are two here a week and one almost every night at Rapid City Regional. And I’m going to call you, twice a day,
for awhile
.”

“Jig, slow down. This is not a Code Red situation.”

“Maybe not. At least not yet and it’s my job to make sure it doesn’t get to that point. This is not how this goes, Dalton. This is not in the Program.”

Dalton didn’t want to say ‘Fuck the Program.’ The Program —and Jig— had very possibly saved his life, but he wasn’t going to give up Zoey. There was no way he could.

“I want to meet your brother. And your woman.”

“No,” Dalton argued. “Just… no.”

“Why not?”

“Because… Adam’s not on board,” Dalton admitted. “He told her so.”

Jig eyed him closely. “He’s worried she’s trouble?”

“No! Adam loves Zoey. He said so himself.” Dalton sighed heavily. “He’s scared, Jig. He’s scared she’ll tip me over. I don’t want it to seem like the two of you are ganging up on her. None of this is her fault. She’s… we’re…”

Fuck
, Dalton thought.
Fucking fuck
.

“What?” Jig prompted.

Dalton met his gaze. “Meant to be together.”

Jig didn’t respond but he looked skeptical.

“Oh, come on, Jig!” Dalton argued. “You’re in the Program! You ask me to believe there’s something out there. You tell me to have faith in things I can’t see. And on the night I finally share how losing Zoey nearly tore me all the way down, I get a call that she needs me. After all this time, she needs me and her boy needs me and everything I thought I lost for good is suddenly right there in front of me. What is that, Jig? You tell me what that is if it isn’t God giving me a second chance and telling me not to fuck it up this time!”

Jig didn’t answer for a moment.

“You can’t have it both ways,” Dalton said quietly. “You can’t ask me to believe, but tell me not to believe in this.”

Jig sighed and looked up at the stained ceiling. “Guess I know what I’d do if my old lady said she’d take me back.”

Dalton’s shoulders relaxed and he unclenched his fists. “Okay,” he said. “Yeah. So, you understand.”

Jig brought his head back down. “But I’m not new, boy. I’m not fresh out of my first stint in the white room without even a one-year coin in my pocket. So, it’s meetings every day for two weeks, plus phone calls, plus I
am
going to meet your family.”

Dalton frowned.

“Just because I lost mine doesn’t mean I don’t know my way around families,” Jig added. “I won’t step over the line.”

Dalton
was
grateful to have someone not required to give such a shit about him, someone not related to him by blood anyway. Jig had never asked for anything in return for looking out for him.

“Why are you my sponsor?” he asked suddenly.

Jig’s brow furrowed. “Because I thought you’d swan dive off the wagon and land face first in pig shit.”

Dalton’s mouth opened, but he didn’t know what to say.

Jig shrugged. “You work all day. You’re alone at night. And there’s a lot of shit you can’t change, like your Mom and your old man. I figured you for starting over two, maybe three times, before sobriety finally took.”

Dalton considered this for a moment. “How many times did
you
start over?”

“Three.”

Dalton shook his head fiercely. “I’m
not
starting over.”

Jig reached out and clapped him on the arm. “One day at a time, boy. One day at a time.”

As Dalton drove home, he felt a spreading warmth in his chest. Things were finally coming together and he was on solid ground once more. As he sat at the light, his phone buzzed in his pocket. He frowned. Surely Jig wasn’t starting
now
. That would be a little extreme, even for Jig.

Dalton fished out his phone and glanced at the screen. Zoey was calling. He was almost home anyway, so he tucked the phone away. He figured he’d find out what she wanted soon enough and shortly after turning onto his own street, he did.

He hadn’t seen the car out front or the man on the porch before, but somehow Dalton didn’t need an introduction. Without thinking, Dalton swung the truck wide and parked it directly in front of the gray Mercedes, cutting off the easiest avenue of escape. Up until this moment, Dalton had wanted to avoid a confrontation but, now that it had been brought to his front door, he didn’t want to it end any time soon.

He slammed the shifter into park and jumped out. As he crossed the lawn, the guy stopped pounding on the door long enough to turn. His face went white. Dalton’s left hand twitched, longing for the warm, hard, unyielding reassurance of the coin in his pocket. His right hand curled into a fist.

It was too late to pray for serenity.