Better Than Okay (10 page)

“I…” she paused, looking down at her hands
before pushing out a breath. “I didn’t mean to.”

She looked up at him again. His expression was
still muted. He leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees. He finally
broke their gaze and looked down at the floor, shaking his head slightly. His
eyes were dark when he looked at her again.

“I don’t want to lose you,” he said, his voice
low, causing her pulse to accelerate.

 
“You didn’t,” she answered immediately.

He got up and ran his hand over his head,
pacing to the other side of her small living room.

“I’m sorry I didn’t answer your calls,” she
said after a long minute. “I’m just… I’m scared.”

“Of what?” he asked. He stopped pacing and turned
to look at her. She inhaled.

“Of losing
you
.”
She exhaled and she felt embarrassment coursing through her but she didn’t look
away.

His expression had shifted, and the ache she’d
been experiencing the past couple of days was there, in his eyes.

 
“I’m
not sure what this is, Brian,” she continued, waving a hand between them. “But
it’s like, sudden. And new.”

“For you,” he said, meaningfully, staring at
her. He was still standing at the far end of the room and walked over to the
futon again, seating himself on the edge.

“What does that mean?” she asked, her heart
thudding in her chest again.

“This,” he mimicked her earlier movement and
waved a hand between them. “It’s new for you. Not for me.”

“Oh.” She bit her lip, studying the floor. That
meant he’d been attracted to her for… how long? She looked up at him, her eyes
questioning.

“I was trying to give you time to get used to
the idea,” he answered. “But that didn’t work. Obviously.”

She felt like he was speaking in code.

“You mean you were trying to give me time to
get used to the idea of us being attracted to each other?”

“I didn’t want to rush you,” he said, meeting
her eyes. “I wanted for you to come to the conclusion on your own, I guess.”

“Come to the conclusion on my own?” she
repeated, beginning to feel mentally challenged.

He sighed. “I knew you needed to be able to do
that… and I didn’t want to push you. I wanted you to figure out that there’s
more than just friendship between us on your own, in your own time.”

He hesitated and she bit her lip, her breath
increasing as she looked at him uncharacteristically struggling to say the
right words.

“But being around you and seeing you again…” he
paused again, looking her directly in the eyes, “I have a hard time pretending
like I don’t feel what I feel when I’m with you, Destiny. I definitely can’t
stay inside of the lines anymore.”

She released a breath and tried to calm
herself. He’d clearly been thinking about this for a while. She looked at him.
Longing, confusion, hesitation, attraction—it was all there, stirring
around in the pit of her stomach. The mass of emotions she was experiencing
terrified her.

“I’m just not sure…” she started, shaking her
head. “So, what now? We’re just attracted to each other and we’re going to…
what? See what happens? Be casual about it?”

He stared at her with that penetrating look
again. “We both know there’s nothing casual about this.”

Her heart was beating so hard now she was
pretty sure he could see it through her t-shirt. She pushed herself off of the
door and walked to the other side of the room, trying to breathe calmly.

“Come’ere,” he said, his voice low and
undemanding.

She stopped in her tracks and turned to face
him. She studied him for a second, then obediently crossed the room and sat
down beside him. He leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees again.

“We make our own rules, okay? Me and you,” he
said, turning just his head to look at her.
 

“But… what if something happens?”

“We can spend days on ‘what ifs’,” he immediately
answered.

She rolled her eyes, starting to panic again.
“For real, Brian. This isn’t like,
Love
& Basketball
or something. We could fall apart and then start hating
each other.”

The thought of that made her stomach ache.

“I could never hate you,” he countered softly,
pausing. “Besides, I’ve loved you since I was eleven and the shit won’t go
away.”

He grinned at her and she couldn’t help but
smile. He was obviously trying to lighten the mood by quoting her favorite line
from the movie. She once made him sit with her all night while she watched it
over and over again. That was in high school. It seemed like eons ago. She
sighed and leaned back on the futon, her thoughts swirling.

“What’s the alternative anyway?” he asked, his
eyes somber again. “I’m tired of being your friend, Destiny.”

He looked at her pointedly, his voice dropping.
“I’m not even sure how to be just friends with you anymore.”

She stared at him, her entire body held captive
by the look he was giving her. Heat began to slowly spread through her and she
pushed out a breath, willing herself to calm down.

“Maybe we should try though, Brian,” she said,
her voice shaky. She was starting to panic again. “Maybe we should try to
ignore whatever is going on. Maybe it’s temporary, or you know… with you moving
here and us not having seen each other for a while... maybe we should try to
ignore these feelings…”

“You think what I feel for you is temporary?
You think I would risk…” he stopped, and pushed out a breath, meeting her eyes.
“Do you really think that after what happened the other day we could go back to
being just friends?”

His voice was husky and the blatant hunger in
his eyes was disconcerting as his gaze swept slowly over her, from her eyes,
down the sweep of her neck to the curve of her breasts, to her thighs, which
her little cotton shorts did nothing to hide. Her breathing increased and
desire stirred in her stomach.

“Maybe,” she managed, breathily.

“Do you really want to?” he asked, gently
fingering a loose strand of her hair that had escaped the ponytail that was
hanging at her nape. His fingers brushed lightly against her cheek and her skin
tingled beneath his touch. She sucked in a breath.

“I think it’d be easier,” she whispered, as he
trailed his fingers lightly down the side of her cheek to the curve of her
neck.

“You sure?” he asked again, his baritone deep
and low as he studied her with hooded eyes.

 
She
managed to nod again. He ran his fingers down her arm, barely touching her but
igniting her skin. He rested his hand on her bare knee. Her breath was coming
fast now.

“You think ignoring this would be… easy?” he
murmured, as his hand inched slowly up her leg.

She bit her lip, her attention focused on where
his thumb was teasing her skin, drawing slow circles on her inner thigh.

“Yes… I…” She closed her eyes when his hand
moved up a bit further. A couple more inches and he would be tracing his thumb
over her panty line. She opened her eyes and he was watching her response to
him, his own breathing increased.

“You what, Destiny?” he asked, his tone dark
and teasing.

His hand trailed further up. She sucked in a
breath and met his eyes.

“I can’t really think very well when you do
that,” she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.

A half-grin played on his face and he ran his
thumb over her soft skin again.

“Why do think that is, Destiny? Because we’re
such good
friends
?”

He cocked an eyebrow at her and she couldn’t
say anything, so she just shook her head.

“I’m not gonna push you,” he said deeply,
forcing her to meet his eyes. He slid his hand back to her knee and she almost
protested. “But I think you know what’s going on between us isn’t temporary. It
sure as hell isn’t friendly. And it’s not going away.”

She bit her lip, and his gaze dropped to her
mouth. She felt aroused and conflicted and she knew he was reading that in her
eyes because he knew her better than almost anyone else. He released a
breath.
 

“Think about it,” he said after a long second.

He ran a hand over his head before standing and
crossing the room to the front door. She reluctantly stood up and followed him.
She paused in the entranceway, hesitating.

“I gotta go to work in the morning,” he
explained, reading her torn expression.

Damn. She’d been so absorbed in her own
feelings she hadn’t even bothered to ask him about how he was adjusting to his
new job.

“How’s that going?” she asked guiltily.

He grinned. “It’s cool so far. Busy, but
nothing unmanageable.”

She nodded, wondering if there was anything he
would consider unmanageable. They stood awkwardly in the doorway. She studied
her toes. They needed a new paint job.

“Hey,” he said, causing her to lock eyes with
him again. “Don’t disappear on me again.”

She nodded. She knew she couldn’t stay away
from him anymore.

“Promise?” he asked, with his half-grin.
 

“Yes,” she whispered.

 
“We
make our own rules. Me and you.”

He stepped closer and looked down at her.

“Think about what it could be like,” he said,
tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “What
we
could be like. No fear, just… us.”

“Okay,” she said, because he was looking at her
so intently she couldn’t say anything else even if she’d wanted to.

They looked at each other, absorbing the new
shift in their relationship.
 
He
brushed his finger against the tip of her nose. Her entire body heated and
chills bumps broke out on her arms. The gesture had officially gone from making
her feel like a puppy to making her feel aroused. She didn’t even know herself
anymore. She stared up at him and bit her lip.

“Do you know how hard you make it not to kiss
you when you do that?” he asked, his voice low.

He stroked his thumb across her bottom lip as
if he was wiping away the bite marks that lingered there. She inhaled sharply
at his touch, her breath coming quicker. He leaned down and pecked the tip of
her nose, then the corners of her mouth and her chin, heating every spot he
touched with his lips, melting her insides.

“I’m gonna go,” he said, reluctantly pulling
away.

His eyes were as dark as she’d ever seen
them.
 
She managed to nod. She bit
her lip again then realized what she was doing and quickly released it.

“Destiny,” he said, his voice gravelly and low.
“You are such a
cutie pie
.”

 
She
laughed, surprised and tilted her head up. “Still corny,” she confirmed.

“Nope,” he declared, shaking his head, pulling
her toward him again. “You’re sweet…” he corrected, his bass voice low in her
ear, “…and edible. Cutie. Pie. Get it?”

“Corny,” she repeated laughing softly.

He nipped the side of her neck, then pressed
his lips there. She sucked in a surprised breath, and tried not to melt into
him. “Nope. It’d be corny if I told you that you taste like caramel,” he
murmured playfully.

His voice was dark and low, his breath warm
against her skin. He kissed her again, this time on the side of her jaw. “Or
like chocolate…”

His pressed his mouth to the spot just below
her earlobe. “Or a bag of Tropical Skittles…”

She burst into giggles, but her laugh faded
into a soft moan when he nipped the spot before dropping hot kisses on his way
back to her mouth. He kissed her top lip first, then her bottom. Her body was
pulsing with heat, her breathing choppy.

She was breathless by the time he pressed his
mouth fully to hers. She responded immediately, pressing up on her toes to meet
him, molding her lips against his. He backed her against the door as he
intensified the kiss. She pulled at his t-shirt, eagerly urging him closer. He
ran his hand under her tank top to her navel, then back down to the waistband
of her shorts, pulling at it lightly.

“Destiny,” he murmured again, forcefully.

He pulled away and released her, shaking his
head. Her body was on fire and she mourned the loss of contact. “You are so…”

“Tropical Skittle-like?” she teased breathily.
This time she deliberately bit her lip.

He grinned crookedly and her stomach tightened.

“You,” he said, simply.

He kissed her again and she knew he meant it to
be a peck but she couldn’t help pulling him even closer and deepening the kiss.
He groaned deep in his throat and pushed her back against the door again. The
kiss was eager at first, but slowed after a few long seconds, like they were
taking the time to learn each other, gauging one another’s responses. The way
her body responded to him was unlike anything she’d ever experienced and it was
exciting and scary.