Between the Shadow and the Soul (14 page)

Darko reached for her and pulled her toward him. This time she didn’t resist like she did when he first traveled with her to the Chandelier Hall. He wrapped his arms around her waist. She stared at his chest, resisting the urge to lean against it and close her eyes. Maybe she would finally find sleep like that. “Hold onto me. It wouldn’t be good if I lost you along the way.”

She nodded, then tensed as she watched the shadows actually move, slithering over the ground toward them like snakes, gathering around them until darkness was all that was left. The ground dropped away beneath their feet and Nela gasped. Shadows swirled around them as they were tucked into all directions. She could hardly breathe. It felt like she was in a free fall tower, only that it moved in all directions all at once. Her stomach tightened. She pressed her hands against Darko’s chest to steady herself. She could feel his heart beating against her palms. It was steady and calm. She forced herself to focus on the feel of it. The air, if it was even air, was cold around them and it hurt in her lungs. Her feet hit the ground and her legs gave way. Her stomach dropped and for a moment she was sure she’d throw up but Darko didn’t let go of her. She was glad; she wasn’t sure she could have stood.

“Nela?” he asked gently, trying to glance down at her face.

She raised her head. “I’m…”

“Don’t say fine,” he said. “You look horrible.”

“Thanks,” she said with a weak smile. She pressed her eyes shut. “Just give me a moment. That was horrible.”

He pushed a few strands out of her face and they both tensed. She looked at him and he quickly stepped back but held onto her arms. “It’ll get better in time. The first time I tried this, I puked. But it’s the fastest way to travel.”

“Maybe you could teach me,” she said. Even if she didn’t even want to think about doing it again, she knew it could come in handy at some point.

Darko let go of her arms but remained close. “I don’t think that will work. To call the shadows upon yourself you need to harbor darkness.”

She frowned. “What does that mean?”

“Let’s just say, you need to have experienced more pain and loss and hatred than you want.” His voice had gone rough and he wasn’t looking at her.

“And you have?” He didn’t react at first, then he turned to her with a frozen smile. “Let’s not talk about the past right now. I want to show you something.”

They were on a small hill overlooking a vast expanse of land. The lights of a village lay below. Behind them ragged stones rose up, like giants against the night sky. The moon was bright and it reflected off the dark stone. “Where are we?”

“It’s the Teufelsmauer.”

Nela frowned. She wondered if he meant something by taking her to a place called the Devil’s Wall. “I’ve never heard of a place like that before.”

“We’re in central Germany, and the rock formation is called Teufelsmauer. It’s an important place for witches. But I suppose the Brotherhood doesn’t like our kind to talk about it.”

Darko headed for narrow steps that led up the rocks. Nela followed him until they reached the very top. The view from there was even more breathtaking. Darko sank down on a flat stone at the edge of the rock formation and Nela sat beside him. “What happened here?”

“A huge battle went down near the Teufelsmauer.” He pointed at the land below, between the village and the rock formation. “It was the only time that the Brotherhood had been defeated on a bigger scale. Ever since that day the victorious group of witches has been living in the village bordering the rock formation.”

“That’s where the lights are,” Nela said.

“Yeah. It’s called Weddersleben. A town that’s inhabited by our kind only. Nobody that doesn’t belong can set foot into the village. It’s protected by heavy charms and it’s one of the few places where witches live freely. Of course they live completely secluded from humans and others of their kind. They’re living in their own small bubble of peace.”

From their point of view, the village looked perfectly normal. Nela couldn’t believe she’d never heard of Weddersleben. You couldn’t tell that it was a magical community. Why weren’t more witches living there?

“Why don’t they grant asylum to more witches? They could save so many.”

Darko’s expression darkened. “Some say the village doesn’t have any room for more inhabitants, others say the witches of Weddersleben made a pact with the Brotherhood; they would be left to their own devices and not prosecuted if they didn’t take in more witches and if they helped the Brotherhood occasionally.”

“Help the Brotherhood?” Nela asked. “With the spells in the tattoos? I thought those were created by witches under torture.”

Darko shrugged. “Who knows? Some people think this place is called Teufelsmauer because the witches of Weddersleben made a pact with the devil – the Brotherhood – to protect themselves. Most humans, of course, think it’s because the witches made a pact with the devil to defeat the Brotherhood. It’s all a matter of perspective.”

Nela looked at the beautiful lights of the city with new eyes. Where those people traitors? Or just recluses out of necessity? “Do you really think the witches of Weddersleben would betray their kind and work for the Brotherhood? How could anyone do that?”

“It’s the only thing that makes sense. Someone has to provide them with food,” Darko said quietly. “And they wouldn’t be the first witches who’d betrayed their kind to save their own hide or get a favor from the Brotherhood. People are bad, witches and humans alike.”

“Not all of them. Some people would rather die than betray the ones they love. I would.”

Darko faced her. “Fear changes things. Few are strong enough to resist. Many don’t even try.”

“And what about you? Do you think you would have the strength to resist if the Brotherhood got their hands on you?”

“I know that I would never help them. No matter what they did, I’d never betray our kind.”

“You sound sure. Why are sure you can resist but doubt me? Do you think I’m weaker because I’m a girl?” She knew the Brotherhood and also the majority of witches believed women to be the weaker sex.

“It’s got nothing to do with you being a girl and me being a guy,” he said fiercely. “But I went through hell once and I didn’t break. There’s nothing the Brotherhood can do to me now that could be worse.”

Nela couldn’t speak. There was so much pain in his eyes. What had the Brotherhood done to him? What had they taken from him? She reached for his hand. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Darko swallowed. “No.” He squeezed her hand and his voice softened. “I can’t. Not yet.”

“It’s okay,” she said quickly. They gazed at each other for a moment, then they turned back to the stretch of land and the village below them. Nela’s eyelids felt heavy and she put her head down on Darko’s shoulder. Some time later, his head touched hers and his breathing evened. Then she, too, fell asleep.

When she woke, a few hours must have passed because the sun was rising. Darko’s head wasn’t resting on hers anymore, and at some point hers had moved down to his leg. Darko was stroking her hair. He stopped as if he knew she was awake and she had no choice but to sit up. “I’m sorry for sleeping on your leg,” she said, embarrassed. His hair was a mess and his eyes hooded with sleep.

“Actually,” he said in a surprised voice. “I slept too. I woke a few minutes before you did. I can’t remember the last time I slept without nightmares.”

“Me neither,” she admitted. The sky glowed orange and yellow above their heads. Suddenly they were so close, minds still sluggish with sleep. Nela knew they had to leave soon. She couldn’t risk her parents noticing that she wasn’t in bed, but for now she wanted to relish in this moment of peace. Who knew how many more there would be in the future?

Chapter 15

N
ela took her second helping of pancakes. She wasn’t hungry anymore, but her mother looked exhausted, probably from a long night of helping people, and Nela wanted to make her happy. Even her father wasn’t hiding behind his newspaper for once, instead he, too, was digging in.

“It’s delicious, Mom,” Nela said.

Her mother gave her a tired smile, but it didn’t reach her eyes. Her skin looked ashen. She was doing too much. Nela would have to talk to her later when they were alone. Of course it was kind of hypocritical of her to tell her mother to stay in bed at night and get some sleep when Nela herself was spending two nights per week awake, practicing magic with Darko.

The bell rang. Today wasn’t a school day, so it couldn’t be Oskar or Finja. Her father rose from his chair, but whoever was at the door was impatient. They hammered against the door as if they were going to take it down. “Get the door, please,” Nela’s mother said tonelessly.

Nela’s father stared at her for a moment with an expression Nela had never seen on his face, then he hurried away.

“Mom?” Nela whispered. “What’s going on?”

Heavy steps rang out and her mother rose to her feet. “Good morning.”

Nela slowly turned around and her heart turned to stone. Two guards of the Brotherhood, dressed in long black frocks, stood in the doorway.

She could see her father’s pale and helpless face behind them. Had someone found out what Nela had done? Had Mikael betrayed her? Or even Darko? She’d started to trust him; what if that had been a mistake?

“What’s going on?” Nela asked, but nobody was paying attention to her. The eyes of the two Brotherhood guards were fixed on her mother. “Mrs. Vogel. We arrest you for Maleficium according to the Magical Ban in the Treaty Laws.”

Nela froze. Her mother looked so calm as if she’d expected this all along. The two guards entered the kitchen and gripped her mother’s arms.

“Maleficium?” Nela shook her head. This couldn’t be happening. She opened her mouth to protest, but a hand clamped down on her shoulder. Her father was at her side, a warning look on his face. Why was he so calm? Why wasn’t he raging and screaming?

“This is wrong!” Nela shouted, not caring how her father’s grip tightened. Fury burnt through Nela and it called to her magic. She wanted to hurt those guards. She wished Darko had taught her how to do it. He certainly knew.

“This must be a mistake,” her father said in a careful voice. So controlled. Nela glared at him. Her magic was pressing against her skin. Maybe her body knew what to do. Maybe she could hurt those men on instinct.

The guards regarded her father as if he was less than the dirt under their boots. “The Brotherhood will set up a trial which will determine the truth.” The man turned toward Nela’s mother. “Come.”

“Where are you taking her?” Nela ripped away from her father and stepped in their way. Her mother reached out for her and brushed her fingertips across Nela’s cheek. The taller guard pushed Nela out of the way, separating them. Nela’s back hit the wall and her tattoo flared with pain. She bit down on her lip to stop herself from crying out.

“There’s no need for this,” her father said, still in this annoying polite voice. He stood between her and the guards, probably because she looked like she was going to scratch their eyes out.

Nela’s mother smiled weakly. “Everything will be alright. Don’t worry. Listen to your father.”

“Mom,” Nela whispered as the guards led her mother out of the kitchen and toward the front door. Nela wanted to run after them, but her father pushed her back. “Stay here. Don’t make this any worse than it already is.”

She stared at him as if this was the first time she saw him. How could that man be her father? Nela didn’t understand how he could keep his composure when his own wife was taken away by the Brotherhood.

He let go and hurried after the guards. She looked out of the window. Her father stood on the sidewalk, arms limply at his sides, watching how a guard pushed her mother into the back of their black BMW limousine with the black tinted windows. Her mother held her head high and even smiled lovingly at Nela’s father before the door of the car was closed and she was gone from view.

Nela began shaking, her fingers curling around the windowsill for support. The guards got into the front of the car and drove off, taking her mother away. Few people who were taken by the Brotherhood ever returned.

***

Nela still stood at the window when her father came back into the house. She heard him enter the kitchen, his steps light and measured as usual; she didn’t turn around. He waited. A silent presence, but he didn’t speak up. There wasn’t anything to say.

From the corner of her eye, she saw him pick up the phone from the kitchen table and dial. Her breathing was tight and hard, and cold seemed to conquer her insides.

“Hi Frank,” her father said in a controlled voice. Tears stung in Nela’s eyes.

She quickly realized that her father was talking to a lawyer. The man was supposed to defend her mother in the upcoming trial. As if a lawyer could do anything. As if there was any chance the Brotherhood would ever release someone they had in their clutches.

“You have to get them to reduce the charges from Maleficium to Practice Magic,” her father said. Nela whirled around. “What?”

Her father gave her a warning look but otherwise ignored her and kept talking to the lawyer on the phone. “You can’t do that!” She tried to take the phone from him but it was too late, he’d hung up.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

She shook her head. “What you aren’t doing. Worrying about Mom. Caring about Mom. Being furious.”

Her father blanched. “I do care about your mother and I do worry, but being furious won’t do her any good.”

Nela pressed her lips together before she could insult her father. “It’s like you don’t have any emotions. How can you ask the lawyer to reduce the charges to Practice Magic? You should ask him to prove her innocence.”

He lowered his eyes, a muscle in his neck working. “But what if we can’t?” he said so quietly that Nela wasn’t sure she’d actually heard him right. Did he know what she’d been doing at night?

She gripped his arm. “But dad, if she was found guilty for Practice Magic, she would still spend her life in the Witch Tower. Nobody survives there for long. We can’t let that happen.”

Her father straightened and her hand dropped from his arm. “We’ll do what we can.”

But what if that wasn’t enough? The moment the judges of the Brotherhood saw her mother’s back, she’d be found guilty and they would never agree to lower the charges to Practice Magic. They’d want to see her burn.

A new thought struck her. “Aren’t there laws that protect witches from having to bare their back without good reason?”

Her father scanned her face. “What makes you think your mother’s back would prove her guilt?”

Nela didn’t say anything. If her father really didn’t know, she wouldn’t be the one to reveal her mother’s secret. But then her father gave a jerky nod. “If there’s sufficient proof against your mother, if the person who accused her is of good standing with the Brotherhood, we won’t stand a chance. Few defendants manage to get out of baring their backs.”

He knew a lot about this. Maybe the lawyer he’d talked to was more capable than she thought. And yet the hopelessness lay like a heavy stone in her stomach. “We have to do something,” she said again. “We have to visit mom. She’ll need us.”

“We’re not allowed to talk to her before she was interrogated by the Inquisitor. Her lawyer will be with her. Until then we’ll have to wait. We have to set our hopes into a fair trial.”

Nela almost lost it then. “Fair trial? The Brotherhood doesn’t give a damn about fairness when it comes to witches!”

“Keep your voice down!”

She could feel her magic close to bursting out of her, could feel her tattoo burning with the power of it, but she forced it down, reigned it in until only an insistent prickling was left.  She could see in her father’s eyes that he knew what was going on. There was horrified recognition in his expression. “Calm down,” he urged.

And not for the first time she wondered what would happen if he knew what she was doing with Darko. Would she end up in the Witch Tower like her mother? What if he had betrayed her?

No. She banished the thought as quickly as if had come. Her father loved her mother. But would that also protect Nela? If it was true what her mother had said that her father had despised Nela’s uncle for what he was, who was to say he wouldn’t hate her too?

***

“I can’t believe they expect us to listen to their preaching after what they did yesterday,” Nela whispered furiously.

Her father shushed her as they approached the south portal of the Cologne Cathedral with its neo-gothic decor. The sharp towers of the transept seemed to pierce the low hanging clouds. They were later than usual and most of the witches had already disappeared into the old church.

“We have to make a good impression for your mother. We can’t risk the ire of the Brotherhood. Please behave yourself.”

Nela bid the inside of her cheek, lowered her gaze and followed her father into the musty inside of the cathedral. The stone figures carved into the arched portals with their grimaces sent a shiver over Nela’s back. And the two guards of the Brotherhood beside the entrance who regarded her with open disdain only increased this sensation. She stayed a couple of paces behind her father as he crossed the long nave, passed rows of pews filled with humans who were busy ignoring them, and headed for the high black iron gates that separated the front part of the church from the back. The scent of incense swirled in the air and brought with it a flood of bad memories. They were one of the last people to enter and their steps rang loudly in the silence of the enormous cathedral. An ocean of candles on both sides of the nave gave off a gentle orange glow, which didn’t penetrate the half-light. Nela’s father, too, lighted a candle before he passed through the iron gates.

The moment Nela and her father sank down on the uncomfortable wooden pews, she noticed that something had changed. Most of the witches occupying the pews around them didn’t even dare to look their way, as if the slightest eye contact could incriminate them. That was why the Brotherhood was so successful in enslaving them. Because of their cowardice and disloyalty. Darko had been right all along, and she’d been blind. Even Oskar didn’t spare her a single glance. He was wedged between his parents, with their heads bowed low, their hands folded. His mother was wearing a blouse that revealed her unchanged tattoo again. Nela wanted to scream at them, at them all, but then she caught Finja’s gaze over the heads of the other witches. Her friend’s soft expression grounded Nela and she forced herself to take deep breath. The iron gates clanked behind her when the guards locked them. That way no witch could sneak into the nave and mingle with humans.

Grand Master Claudius’s voice rang out and Nela sank deeper into her bench, trying to blend out his words. She couldn’t bear them today, not when it felt like every word was directed at her family. Her eyes traced the intricate mosaic covering the floor as her mind busied itself counting the myriad of small stones that created images of saints. She jumped up the moment the service was over. She couldn’t stand the stifling atmosphere a second longer. As she and her father headed out, the other witches managed to keep a gap between them even though there wasn’t much room.

Nobody talked about what happened to Nela’s mother. Fear sealed their lips. Nela stared at her feet. She didn’t want to see their stupid victim faces.

Outside, the dark façade of the cathedral in their backs, Finja’s parents approached them. Finja gave Nela a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek, and Nela had to fight a new wave of tears. They didn’t speak. This wasn’t a safe place to do so. Finja’s mother patted Nela’s cheek with a gentle look, so motherly that Nela choked up. “We’ll come by later,” Finja’s father said quietly. Nela knew what a big risk they were taking by associating with her family and she felt grateful.

But when they came to visit later, Nela realized that nothing would come of it. Even though Finja’s presence gave her strength, her parents and Nela’s father didn’t talk about what mattered. They didn’t talk about the injustice of the treaty. They just went along with it without a fight. They never considered overthrowing the treaty. For them it was a fact that wasn’t to be questioned. Nela didn’t dare ask Finja for help. She knew her friend didn’t want to go against the Brotherhood, not in the same way Nela wanted to.

There was only one person who would understand. Nela sent Darko a message, asking him to meet her at the Hohenzollern Bridge. Her mother had taken her there often to watch the ships on the Rhine when she was younger. With what had happened, she couldn’t risk meeting Darko anywhere near her home. Two minutes later, his response text arrived, agreeing to meet her. She knew if there was anyone who would understand her anger toward the Brotherhood it was him, and maybe he could help.