Between Two Worlds (26 page)

Ally and I scavenged the beach, then the cliffs, for gulls, eggs, rabbits, foxes, or anything else that our restless hands could turn into food. Sammy trailed behind, singing a nonsense song and brandishing a long-handled bird net. Then Ally strapped him into the folds of her carrying hood as the trail grew steeper. The other villagers had gone to the valley to hunt musk oxen. Piugaattoq and Angulluk had joined them, without asking either Ally or me to accompany them; clearly, they’d arranged for other women to help them with their chores and share their tents.

I wanted to ask her: “Are you happy with Piugaattoq? Could you be content if you never saw Peary again?”

Instead, I told her, “I built a fox trap near the top of the cliff.”

She looked at me with a strange seriousness. “How clever of you, Eqariusaq.”

“Musk Ox Land has more rabbits and foxes than Itta. Have you noticed?”

“No, but that’s what Navarana said.”

We climbed. The sun was hot on our backs, and Sammy fell asleep, even though the winds roared. When we
reached the trap, I found it empty aside from fox droppings and a snatch of white fur on the chamber’s floor. The boulder I’d placed above the door of the trap had not fallen on top of the fox, as it should have when the fox tugged on the dangling meat.

“It got away! My trap was no good,” I said.

Sammy called from his place on Ally’s back.

Ally took him from his carrier, held him, and reflected. “The boulder wasn’t positioned right, and it should have been larger.” She told me what she remembered about building traps.

Ally searched the cliff and found a larger boulder. Since she was holding Sammy, she had me carry it. “Now all we need is bait,” I said. Then I began, “If I should join another igloo, I can help bring in food—”

Ally nodded. “You’re leaving Angulluk?”

“I think so.”

“Eqariusaq, you can live with me and Piugaattoq until you find another husband.”

“We’ll see. Thank you.” Her generosity surprised me.

“You are clever, strong, and attractive! Many hunters will want you.”

“I’m not ready to think about a new husband—not yet.” We continued up the trail. I told her my plans of laying another trap on the cliffs and several more traps in the valley.

Above me, I heard a croaking sound. Ally pointed her nose to it. “For you,” she whispered.

It was a gull with a broken wing. I swung and caught it in my net. Then I quickly broke its neck. A few minutes later, I’d baited the fox trap.

“We make good hunting partners,” I said.

Even on a day when my heart was breaking, I’d been productive. I was making a good friend in Ally; I should have done so years earlier. Our choices, or our fate, joined us together like two runners on a sled.

As we moved back down the trail, my hunting bag empty but my step lighter, Ally gasped.

“What is it?” I asked. Then I followed her gaze, past the cliffs, to the blue ocean. Billowing into view came the white sails of the
Windward
.

I felt my tears begin: shock, anger, joy, all at once.

Ally laughed, then she cried, too. “Such a relief! But I don’t understand.”

“Captain Bartlett was probably testing the ship. Like the way our hunters try out their dogsleds at the start of a new season.”

“Ai!”
Ally said. “You are smart!”

Only a narrow gulf of water separated the
Windward
from the land and yet it seemed as wide as the ocean, impossibly far away. I wished that the
qallunaat
would come to shore, to tell us their news; I wished to see Duncan. But the winds were strong for small craft, and wisely, our hunters stayed on land. Two days passed, and in that time the
Windward
made another short voyage into the sound, to return within the hour.

Bag of Bones paddled out to the
Windward
on the next calm morning, the same morning my husband and Piugaattoq returned from their hunt. On the beach, butchering the seals with Ally, keeping an eye on Sammy digging in the sand, I waited for Bag of Bones.

When he came back, he said, “The sailors have been testing the ship.”

“So I thought. What else?”

“They’ll sail for America soon. They didn’t say when.”

“Did Peary talk about bringing our people back to Itta?” I asked.

“I forgot to ask.”

Giving Bag of Bones a sharp look, I set down the hide, whisked away some flies, and wiped my hands on my
kamiit
. My foolish boy could not be relied upon to perform a simple task, even though its outcome was so important to both of us.

“Did Pearyaksoah have a message for me?” Ally asked, her dark eyes hopeful.

“No,” he said. Then, turning to me, “Duncan says he will visit you soon.”

To say good-bye
, I thought.

I looked out at the blue water, at the
Windward
and the ice floes beyond it, and between two of these I thought I saw a dark speck. A few moments later, Tooth Girl ran toward us.

“Come, look!” she said. “It’s
another
ship!”

From a bluff above the shore, we saw that a second vessel, the same style as the
Windward
, was sailing into the harbor. It came toward us, larger and larger. Finally, it moored alongside the
Windward
.

It didn’t take long for kayaks to be dragged to the shore. Five hunters, including Angulluk, went to investigate. Even Bag of Bones, who should have been exhausted from his previous journey, stroked out to the two ships.

Nearly the whole day passed before Angulluk and the others came to meet us on the shore.

My husband said, “Today I’ve seen more
qallunaat
goods than I believed possible. Guns, planks of wood, steel needles, knives. Salted meat and fish packed in oil and other food of all kinds.”

“Who came? Why are they here?”

Bag of Bones waved his arms. “The ship is called the
Erik
. People in America sent it to find the
Windward
.”

Angulluk saved his most important words for last. “Peary wants to talk to you.”

“What about?”

Angulluk wouldn’t answer. I could tell he knew Peary’s intentions, though, and was making plans.

The next day, Bag of Bones called me to the beach again. The
Erik
had lowered two boats. Duncan, Peary, Captain Bartlett, and Mauripaulak disembarked from one. I
hugged Duncan, and we stood apart from the others. I didn’t care who might be watching, but no one paid attention. Everyone surrounded Peary and the strangers.

I looked for the flecks of brown in Duncan’s green eyes. He had more freckles on his face. His ears looked larger since he’d cut his orange curls.

“I’ve missed you, Billy Bah!” He took my hand.

“I’ve missed you, too.”

“After the ice broke up, I wanted to come ashore. But we had too much to do.”

He didn’t have to explain; I’d hurt him when I wouldn’t agree to marry him. “I knew you wouldn’t come.”

“I’ve missed you so much. Even if I can’t have you, even if we only have a short time together, I want to be near you now.”

As he spoke, Duncan seemed sad but steadier. “I’ll be going to America soon, and how I wish you’d come. But it’s best that you stay. It was selfish of me to try to make you go.”

“You’re not selfish.”

Peary called, “Billy Bah! I want to talk to you and your husband.”

“What about?”

“Let’s meet in your igloo,” he said.

I sent word with a hunter to find Angulluk as quickly as possible. A large group of people was gathering with the
qallunaat
on shore. Peary introduced the strangers. One was the captain of the new ship.

My eyes lingered on Duncan a moment; then I walked the path with Peary. Angulluk caught up, and we crawled into the rock igloo. I offered seal meat, but Peary refused it.

“The ships will sail for America in a few days,” he said. “I’ll be staying to winter, and then will go north.”

“Will Marie and Mitti Peary sail to America?” I asked.

Peary’s eyes looked sad. “Yes. Only Matt Henson and a few others will be staying.” Then he said to me, “Mrs. Peary let me know how important you were to her this winter. She says you spent time with Marie and helped her in a hundred ways. You did an excellent job sewing her
kapatak
. I’ll need seamstresses to get ready for the expedition. I’d like you, Billy Bah, to choose the women and take charge of their work.”

Stunned, I looked at Angulluk. He was grinning.

“Ally will be one of the seamstresses,” Peary said. “She has already agreed. But she doesn’t want to be in charge. She says you would do a better job of organizing the women and all that must be done. I agree.”

Silently, I accepted the compliment. Boastful Ally had generously put me above herself. She’d surprised me again.

“We’ll go with Peary to Itta,” Angulluk said. “Soon after, Peary has agreed to take me and some hunters to the walrus rocks on the
Windward
. Think how many walrus the deck will hold. I could feed my dogs for a year!”

“We’re sailing to Itta soon?”

Peary said, “With anyone who wants to go. We’ll anchor at Itta for a few weeks—enough time to ready the ships and to hunt for walrus. After that, Billy Bah, I’d like you and the seamstresses to sail back here to Ellesmere Land. Of course, their families can come with them.”

Angulluk jerked upright and slammed his fist against his thigh. “Eqariusaq and I will stay in Itta.”

“I need Billy Bah here on Ellesmere Land,” Peary said. “My new camp is here.” He explained that from this point on, he’d leave on his great journeys across the sea ice from Ellesmere Land, not Itta. He’d continue his search for the place he called the North Pole.

I was listening with fierce attention.

Did I want to work for Peary? Was I willing to return to Musk Ox Land?

“Hunting is good here,” Peary went on. “This is the better side of the sound in winter. The best furs for our coats.”

“Yes, and no,” I argued.

“Itta is our home,” Angulluk said. “Eqariusaq and the women can sew in Itta.”

“But then we won’t have the furs!”

“Billy Bah and I will live in Itta.” Angulluk was firm.

“Then it wouldn’t make sense for Billy Bah to sew for us,” Peary said, just as firmly.

Angulluk folded his arms. No doubt he was thinking
about guns and wood. He, of all people, was passing up
qallunaat
bounty. “After the hunt, Eqariusaq and I will stay in Itta. You can’t have her!”

Should I join Peary’s party without Angulluk? Leave him? Now I must truly decide. For good.

Hands clenched, I looked from one face to the other.

Peary leaned forward. “I’m giving you the chance to work with a group of women, not only to help me but to show your skills—ones that will be appreciated beyond your land,” he said. “If you join me, you will be known throughout history as the most important seamstress of your people.”

I wasn’t impressed. I had no interest in Peary boasting of me to his friends in America. But I did like to sew. It was something I was good at, something that was all my own. Peary would pay me well. I might have to eat his canned food at times, but I would never go hungry. Peary offered me a new life, and the best part of it was freedom.

Freedom!
Something in me shifted and I understood. I didn’t need Peary’s appreciation or approval. I didn’t have to obey Angulluk. I was free to take the offer or say no, and turn it down and try for a new life in Itta. Even if I made a mistake, I could change direction and wait for a different opportunity.

As a child, I had no choice but to go where my parents or the Peary family led me. For most of my life, I’d wanted to find a place where I belonged, but expected others to tell me where to go.

Now I felt strong, neither above nor below anyone else, in a place where fear could not touch me. From this place of certainty, I could live in two worlds, because there was in fact no separation. The world was my home.

How odd that I could find my freedom, my true self, undivided, on a white man’s ship. Navarana’s vision.

“Peary,” I said, “in Itta, I will decide if I will return to Musk Ox Land with you.”