Beyond Doubt (30 page)

I waved and watched as Jackie grabbed her purse and coat and wandered off toward the door.

“Anyone thirsty?” Aaron asked, grabbing a beer and popping the top off.

“I’ll take one of those,” Gabby said, pointing at the bottle.

“Me too. I haven’t had any pain medicine for two days.”

“Two beers coming up. Jason, you want a seltzer?”

“Perfect,” Jason said, as he arranged the pumpkins and knives on the table.

“So you look amazing,” Gabby gushed. “How are you feeling?”

“Almost like normal. I just can’t wait until I don’t have to use those things,” I said, glaring at the crutches I had propped against the wall.

“I bet. By Christmas?” Jason asked.

“Forget that. I’m hoping by Thanksgiving.”

“Never one to waiver under pressure,” Gabby laughed.

“I’m hoping we can go on a fun ski trip this winter too,” I said, smiling.

I glanced over at Aaron who shifted his gaze to Jason. What was going on between them?

“Don’t you think that would be fun, guys?” I tried again.

“I’m totally in,” Gabby said. “What about you, Jason?”

“Sounds like a plan to me.” He nodded.

“Well, that just leaves Mr. Grinch. You in?” I asked Aaron.

He smiled and his eyes locked on mine, but I recognized something that I didn’t want to see.

“I love you, babe,” he laughed, and shook his head.

Something was off. I glanced at Gabby who noticed it too, but Jason quickly turned the topic to making the first cut into the pumpkin.

“I’m going for a Dracula look,” Jason said.

“That’s awfully fancy,” I said.

Aaron stood up abruptly and glanced in my direction but wouldn’t make eye contact. “I’ve gotta make a call. I’ll be right back.”

“Okay,” I replied, trying to shove off the worry.

But it was too late; the first seed had already been planted.

It was another beautiful Saturday with the crystal blue skies out, and the crisp air just calling for the last of the autumn leaves to drop. Aaron had left to run some errands, and Jackie had the day off. Gabby would be here any minute, and I was really looking forward to spending time with her. I needed some pick-me-up girl time. I tried to ignore a few of the recovery hiccups that I’d encountered, but there were some that were harder to ignore than others. My hair had started growing back in the areas where it had been clipped, but I still wasn’t necessarily feeling as fabulous as I wanted. Aaron made me feel like the most beautiful thing to walk the planet, but many mornings—and this was certainly one of them—I felt less than human. I wasn’t sure which scars from the accident were going to be harder to heal, the external or the internal ones.

Wandering into the kitchen, I opened the fridge and laughed. I told Jackie I had everything covered for my impromptu lunch with Gabby, but she apparently didn’t believe me. She had a plate of various cheeses sliced, a plate of sliced fruit, and a platter full of meats. I was sure Jackie’s plan was to fatten me up before I left this place, and I was pretty sure it was working. I grabbed each plate out of the fridge and placed it on the island. Grabbing crackers and chips out of the pantry, I spread them out on a plate when the doorbell rang.

I walked at a pace that was slower than pre-accident, but faster than last week and that’s all I could ask. I opened the door and Gabby ran in, hugging me tightly.

“Oh, girl. It’s so nice to see you, especially at my brother’s house.” She let go and took a step back. “I can’t believe the progress. First no crutches and now no cane?”

“What can I say? I’m Wonder Woman.”

“Are you off pain meds?” Gabby asked.

“For the most part. I think the last time I took one was a few days ago.”

“Score,” she hollered, pulling out a bottle of wine from of her purse.

I started laughing as we walked into the kitchen.

“I’m getting so excited about the holidays with Aaron. Everything feels so right, Gabby. It’s been so easy…Like the bubble is going to burst any second.”

Gabby grabbed a plate and began choosing various cheese and meats to decorate her crackers.

“That’s one way of looking at it.” She grinned. “But most people wouldn’t look at a near-fatal accident as easy, but you also fantasize about law school so beats me.” She shrugged.

“Haha.” I rolled my eyes. “You know what I mean.”

“I do.” She grinned wider. “And I have to say the thought of your becoming my sister legally is pretty sweet.”

“Do you know something?” My eyes wide.

“Nothing, but my hunch is that it’s gonna happen someday.”

I grabbed a plate and piled cheddar on a couple crackers and pulled a few grapes free.

“Do you mind sitting on the patio? Aaron turned on the heaters for me. I just want to enjoy the last few days of sunshine.”

“Totally. I’m bundled up,” she said, following me outside.

“So how are you taking the news?” Gabby asked, bringing me a glass of red wine.

We were sitting on Aaron’s patio with the heaters cranked on full blast. I had a blanket wrapped around me, but I was determined to squeeze in the last few blue skies we had left, regardless of temperature. Being cooped up so long hadn’t done wonders for my spirits.

I took a sip and looked over at Gabby, perplexed.

“I know I’ve been a little bit out of it lately, but I’m actually not sure what news you’re referring to.”

Gabby was drinking her wine and stopped mid-swallow, her eyes widening.

“Oh, nothing then. I probably got my wires crossed.” She set her glass on the table and looked out toward the pond.

“Nice try,” I said, repositioning the blanket to cover my ears. “What news is flying around our circle that I don’t know about?”

“Oh, god…Brandy. I thought Aaron had spoken to you already. He said last night he was going to talk to you this morning.”

“Spit it out.”

Gabby shook her head, her ponytail bouncing all over the place. “I can’t. It’s not my place.”

“Does he need me to move out? I totally understand if that’s what it is. I’ve been thinking that too. I don’t want to wear out my welcome, and I love our condo in the city.” I took another sip. “Although, it will be very lonely with you not there.”

Gabby’s face turned ashen, and she fidgeted uncomfortably.

“That’s not it. He has no issues with you recovering here. I think he’d be heartbroken if you left, actually.” She tried to reassure me, but the uncertainty and guilt behind her eyes was making me nervous.

“Please, just tell me. If you don’t, I’ll call Aaron and say you spilled half the beans and left me to drive myself crazy.”

“He’s going to kill me.”

“With what he’s done to you, let’s just call it even. I’ll make sure he doesn’t hold you accountable.”

“Aaron’s going to Shenzhen.”

“He’s going to China? On a business trip?” I asked, not understanding what the big deal was.

It was silent for a few seconds and the tension between us rose. I glanced at the pond where a couple ducks landed and then back to Gabby.

“To live,” she whispered, her lips twisting into a frown.

“Wait. What?”

“His transfer was planned months ago. I think.” Gabby continued talking, but I heard none of it. All that kept repeating in my head was that Aaron was going to live in China. China. My head started pounding, but that pain was quickly replaced with the ache in my chest. How long did he know that he was going to be leaving for China? Why had he been leading me on if he knew he wasn’t going to be around? I knew there were long distance relationships that worked, but this was an entirely different scenario. Besides, was he even planning on continuing things? I shouldn’t even presume that he had planned on us continuing.

“I don’t understand.” I shook my head as the ache spread from my chest to my entire body. “Why wouldn’t he have mentioned this? I…”

“I’m so sorry. I just thought he had told you and—”

The tiny seed of hollowness began sprouting into full-fledged despair as I thought about Aaron leaving Seattle, leaving me. Maybe I was just another conquest after all. I looked around the yard and back at the house. He undoubtedly had just felt bad, guilty, after the bike accident and took on a responsibility that wasn’t his. Here I thought there was something more between us, but I was only his pity case.

I tried very hard not to sound devastated. I knocked the quiver in my voice out of range and looked at Gabby.

“You don’t have to apologize,” I swallowed the lump that threatened to give away my emotional state. “I’m glad I know. I can start planning to move back to the condo.”

“Don’t do that. He wants you to stay here.”

I shook my head. “Don’t think so. Wanna go inside? The temperature has finally gotten to me.”

“Sure, hun.” She stood up and turned off the overhead heaters as I half-waddled and walked to the house. The ache in my leg reappeared, and I somehow doubted it had anything to do with the break.

“Are you okay?” she asked, closing the door.

Sitting on the couch, I looked around the great room. There was no way I was staying here. Beside the fact that I didn’t want to be someone’s pity case, everything here exuded Aaron. I would be completely insane and masochistic if I wanted to be reminded of someone—something—I wouldn’t be able to have any longer.

“I think I’m still in shock, but I’ll be okay. I just never guessed this is how we would end it. Or how he would end it.”

“Shit, Brandy. No, he’s not trying to end it. Please-oh-please don’t think that. Is that really what you think?”

Gabby grabbed the bottle of wine and poured some more.

“Moving across the globe without any consideration about your significant other is a bit of a red flag, Gabby. I’m not going to candy-coat this for myself. It is what it is. To be completely honest, I often wondered if this whole relationship went the way it did because he felt guilty.”

I felt the tears begin to wet my eyes. Closing my lids tightly, I prayed the liquid would draw back in to where it came from.

“I’m getting Aaron on the phone.” She reached for her phone and began dialing.

“Please don’t. He’ll be home soon and I’ll talk to him then.”

“I can’t have you thinking that Aaron is trying to end it with you. That’s the exact opposite of what his intentions are.”

“I’m starting law school in January. It’s not like I’m going anywhere or can move to China. Trust me. It’s over.”

The click of the front door signaled Aaron’s arrival, and I quickly wiped my tears away as he came into the great room. His eyes connected with mine as he held a Gingerbread Latte out for me. His eyes stayed locked on mine and filled quickly with dread as he briefly glanced at his sister and then back at me.

“I got you this,” he said, holding out the drink.

“I doubt that’s going to cut it,” Gabby said, standing up. “I’m so sorry, Aaron. I thought you’d told her.”

“Shit,” Aaron groaned, as his sister grabbed her purse and left out the front door.

“When were you going to tell me?” I asked, pushing away the tears again.

“Today,” he said, coming to my side.

He sat next to me on the couch and I inched away.

“How long have you known?”

“Too long,” he answered, placing the cup on the coffee table.

“How long is that?” I arched a brow, waiting for a response.

“I’ve known for about ten months that I’d be going there to oversee the opening of the plant.”

“You’ve known for ten months?” I couldn’t hide my anger. “And it never once occurred to you to mention it?”

My emotions were all over the place. I was sad, devastated, angry, guilty. I glanced around the room and felt completely out of place.

“Every time I was going to talk to you about it, something else got in the way. And then when the accident happened, it just didn’t seem like the right time…”

“How long will you be there?”

He let out a deep sigh and rubbed his forehead. “Anywhere from one to three years.”