Beyond Justice (2 page)

Jenn lay partially naked, face-down, the sheets around her soaked crimson.
 Stab wounds scored her entire body.  Blood.  Blood everywhere!

"Jenn!"

I ran to her, turned her over.

She gasped, trying to speak.  Coughed.  Red spittle dripped from the corner of her mouth.  "The kids..."

I took her into my arms.  But her eyes begged me to go check on them.

"You hang on, honey.  With all you've got, hang on!"  I reached for my cell phone but it fell out of my belt clip and bounced under the bed.

On my knees now, I groped wildly until I found the cell phone.  Dialed 9-1-1.  Barely remembered what I said, but they were sending someone right away.

Jenn groaned.  Her breaths grew shorter and shorter.

"Bethie... Aaron."

Her eyes rolled back.

"I'm going.  Hang on, baby.  Please!  You gotta hang on!" I started for the door.  Felt her hand squeeze mine twice:  Love-you.

No.

Tears streamed down my face.  As I began to pull away, she gripped my hand urgently.  For that split second, I knew.  This was the end.  I stumbled back to her.  Gathered her ragdoll body in to my arms.

"Jenn, oh God, Jenn.  Please don't!"

"Whatever it takes," she said.  Again, she squeezed my hand twice.  "Mercy, not...sacrifice.”  One last gasp.  She sighed and then fell limp in my arms, her eyes still open.

Holding her tight to my chest, I let out an anguished cry.

All time stopped.  Who would do this?  Why?  Her blood stained my shirt.  Her dying words resonated in my mind.  Then I remembered. 
The kids
.  I bolted up and ran straight to Bethie's room. 

Bethie's door was ajar.  If my horror hadn't been complete, it was now.  I found her exactly like Jenn—face down, blood and gashes covering her body.

Though I tried to cry out, nothing escaped the vice-grip on my throat.  When I turned her over, I felt her arm.  Still warm, but only slightly.  Her eyes were shut, her face wet with blood.

"Bethie!  Oh, sweetie, no!" I whispered, as I wrapped the blanket around her.

I kissed her head.  Held her hand.  Rocked her back and forth. "Come on, baby girl.  Help's on its way, you hold on," I said, voice and hands trembling.  She lay there unconscious but breathing.

Aaron.

Gently, I lay Bethie back down then got up and flew across the hall.  To Aaron's door.  His night light was still on and I saw his outline in the bed.

Oh God, please.

I flipped the switch. 

Nothing.

I dashed over to the lamp on his nightstand, nearly slipping on one of his Thomas Train toys on the carpet.  Broken glass crackled under my shoes.

I switched on the lamp on his nightstand.  When I looked down to his bed, my legs nearly gave out.  Aaron was still under his covers, but blood drenched his pillow.  His aluminum baseball bat lay on the floor, dented and bloodied.

Dropping to my knees, I called his name.  Over and over, I called, but he didn't stir.  This can't be happening.  It's got to be a nightmare.  I put my face down into Aaron's blue Thomas Train blanket and gently rested my ear on his chest.

I felt movement under the blanket.  Breathing.  But slowly—irregular and shallow.

Don't move his body.  Dammit, where are the paramedics?

I heard something from Bethie's room and dashed out the door.  Stopping in the middle of the hallway, I clutched the handrail over the stairs.  Thought I heard Aaron crying now.  Or maybe it was the wind.

My eyes darted from one side of the hallway to the other.  Which room?

Faure's Requiem continued to play, now the
In Paradisum
 movement.

Aeternam habeas requiem.

Something out in front of the house caught my attention.  The police, the paramedics!  Propelled by adrenaline, I crashed through the front door and ran out into the middle my lawn which was slick with rain.  I slipped and fell on my side.

Nobody.  Where were they!

Like a madman, I began screaming at the top of my lungs.  My words echoed emptily into the night.

"Help!  Somebody, please!"

A dog started barking.

"Please, ANYBODY!  HELP!"

Lights flickered on in the surrounding houses.

Eyes peeked through miniblinds.

No one came out.

I don't know if I was intelligible at this point.  I was just
screaming, 
collapsed onto the ground,  on my hands and knees getting drenched in the oily rain.

Just as the crimson beacons of an ambulance flashed around the corner, I buried my face into the grass.  All sound, light, and consciousness imploded into my mind as if it were a black hole.

Chapter Two

It's never been clear to me when my neighbor, Pastor Dave Pendelton scraped me off the lawn and brought me back into my house.  Outside, neighbors all gawking through the blinds in their windows, not one of them had come out.

Except Dave, of all people.  Pastor Dave of City on a Hill, Jenn's church.  He seemed nice enough, but I never completely trusted him.  This was due in no small part to my absolute distaste for organized religion.  Ironically, Jenn had become born again soon after we got married and began attending not only Sunday services at Dave's church, but their weekly small group Bible study as well.

I sat on my sofa in a chilled stupor, a blanket draped over my shoulders while paramedics worked feverishly around both of my children upstairs. According to Dave, they had arrived just as he came out to get me.  I was so shell-shocked that I didn't recall their arrival.

Another team had gone to the master bedroom.

"Jenn?"  I bolted up.  "Jenn!" They carried her down in a gurney, a white sheet over her face.  The anguish within couldn't crack through the frozen wall of shock around my mind.

Next came my kids, but they were not covered.  The paramedics worked on them as they brought them down and wheeled them to the ambulance.  "Bethie! Aaron!" I shouted and tried to run over.  Dave held me back.

"Let them, Sam."

I was trembling, shaking my head, as they raced off.  Jenn couldn't be gone.  It couldn't be my kids in that ambulance.  It was like watching a movie.  Flashing lights, sirens. 

"Let's go."  Dave grabbed my arm and rushed me into his car.  We chased the ambulances, leaving behind a pair of squad cars, their red and blues groping out into the rain like a lighthouse in a hurricane.

My home had become a crime scene.

___________________

As soon as we arrived at Children's Hospital's Trauma Care Center, a medical team rushed Bethie into one room and Aaron into another.  Frozen, I stood, chest rising and falling, eyes darting between the two rooms.

"Bethany's a lot worse," Dave said.

I nodded and went for the door to Trauma One.  He caught me and turned me around to the correct room.  Dave went into Aaron's room just as I entered Bethie's.

The next thirty minutes were torturous.   About a dozen doctors and nurses crowded around Bethie, two of them squeezing a plastic bag to assist with her breathing.  Instruments rattled in the crash cart as the trauma surgeons surrounded her.  IVs webbed around her, into her arms.

Speaking in rapid succession, overlapping each others' words, yet somehow maintaining some form of intelligible communication, the team's dialogue all meshed together.

"Epi's in."

"She's bradying down."

"Atropine in."

"We're losing her!"

They began CPR.  Then the whine and snap of defibrillator shocks.  Jolted me as well.  One of the nurses announced that they'd gotten a pulse back, but a very weak one.  Bethie just had to pull through.

Doctor Yang, one of the doctors not completely engrossed in the code, came over, pulled down her face mask. "She's lost a lot of blood.  We're doing everything we can, but you should prepare yourself."

"For what?"

"Is there anyone you'd like to call?"

I wanted to scream that her mother had been murdered, less than half an hour ago.  I could not accept the fact that my little girl was within moments of death…"Please, you have to save her!"

Doctor Yang nodded and returned to the team.  Seconds later an alarm from the EKG blared again.  Bethie's pulse was gone.

The lead doctor called out something about joules.  "Clear!"

Again, with the defibrillator.  Bethie's torso arched up and fell.  The EKG blipped, but the line remained flat, the tone static.  The lead doctor was now performing chest compressions with both hands.  Gently!  I wanted to cry out.  But I knew they had to do this to help her.  This went on for a while, but it was clear that her pulse continued only because the doctor's efforts.

"Bethie?" I managed to whisper.  It was starting to hit me.  Not even an hour after Jenn's death, I was about to lose my daughter.

"Mr. Hudson," Doctor Yang said as she approached.  "Do you want to be with her now?"

Tears stung my eyes like acid.  Gradually, the cacophony of voices died down.  I could now discern something that I had vaguely heard earlier through all the commotion—one of the doctors in the background announcing each elapsed minute since Bethie's heart had stopped.

"Thirty-seven minutes since arrest."  The chest compressions continued.

"Mister Hudson?"  Doctor Yang said, again, her tone
sympathetic, but a bit more urgent.  Less and less of the team were looking at Bethie now.  They kept eyeing the clock.

The lead doctor had been doing chest compressions for some time now.  He looked to his team.  "Shall we?"

"He just lost his wife," one of the nurses replied.  "Can we try a little longer?"

He nodded and continued the compressions.  After a while, they tried the defibrillator again.  No response.  A solid green line slithered across the screen.  The nurses looked up at the other doctor.  He stood still for a second, glanced at the wall-clock and shook his head.  "Time of death..."

"We did all we could, Mr. Hudson," Doctor Yang said.  "I'm so sorry."

"NO!  Save her, dammit!"  I rushed for the table on which Bethie lay as still as silence.  "Don't let her go!"  I reached for the defibrillator paddles.  A large orderly grabbed and pulled me away.  I shouted at the top my lungs.  He didn't release me until I stopped thrashing.  The nurses stepped back.

When I calmed myself, the lead doctor approached me.

"We did everything possible,  but her injuries were too severe.  I'm sorry."

I couldn't speak.  First Jenn, now Bethie.  Anger ebbed, giving way to despair.  I walked over to my little girl.

"Sweetie..." I held her lifeless hand, brushed the hair out of her face and kissed her forehead.  "I'm sorry.  Daddy's so sorry."  Before I knew it, I was curled up on the floor and sobbing, still reaching up and holding her hand.  The orderly tried to help me to my feet but I couldn't do it.  Eventually, they managed to get me up and pour me into a chair.

"Sir, do you need a moment?"

I nodded.

They drew a curtain and left me alone with my daughter.  That's when I lost it.  I don't think I'd ever cried so hard, or pounded my fist so many times into a wall, or screamed so loud in my entire life.

Aside from the wounds and blood, Bethie looked like she could have been sleeping.   How could she be gone?  How could Jenn?  I felt disembodied.

The activity outside the trauma room increased.  Walkie-talkies, intercom pages, hurried footsteps, gurneys rolling. 

The doctor emerged from the curtain.

"I'm sorry, but there's someone outside you need to speak to."  Outside the room, an officer from the Sherriff's department tipped his hat.

"My condolences on your loss, sir.  But I need to ask you a few—"

"This isn't the best time."

Dave Pendelton arrived.

I gripped his sleeve.  "Aaron?"

"He's still in surgery. Trauma One."

Behind him was one of the TCC doctors.

"Is he going to make it?" I asked. 

"Too soon to say.  He's suffered severe trauma to the head and internal organs."

"Can I see him?"

"Not yet."

I spent the next hour answering the deputy's incessant questions.

What was my name, date of birth, social security number, place of employment, phone numbers?  He asked for identification.

"Do we really have to do this now!" I huffed, fumbling with my wallet.

Dave helped take it from my shaking hands and gave the deputy my driver's license and social security card.

The officer asked for the same type of information for Jenn, Bethany and Aaron—the victims.  My mouth became bitter.  Dryness impeded my words.  The deputy was  sympathetic and seemed genuinely sorry to put me through this.  I couldn't concentrate.