Big Book of Smut (30 page)

I questioned him about what he had seen and experienced but he only gave vague explanations and mutterings. My disbelief of ghosts and haunted houses seemed reasonable to me since he wouldn’t offer any details of what had happened. It seemed that every time we got together after that, our conversations always seemed to gravitate back to that night. You couldn’t enjoy a meal or a few beers without his mumblings and warnings always popping up; just like the mysterious ghosts. I’d end up asking him to tell me what happened and we’d end up arguing because he wouldn’t give the details. It was just so damn annoying.

Our last conversation nearly ended in a brawl, hence, the dare. He dared me to go and see for myself, but I wasn’t about to waste a Friday night without getting something in return. I’d wanted to date his ex-girlfriend ever since I first met her on our usual Friday night – it’s the weekend – celebrations. However, with the best friend code of not dating someone’s sister or ex-girlfriends, I thought it would never happen. Therefore, when I asked him to give me a pass on the rule to ask her out, he agreed, convinced that I wouldn’t be able to stay the night.

‘Well,’ I thought, ‘let’s check this out.’

Walking up to the front door, I was careful of the cracked cement path and picked my way up the broken steps that led to the entrance. Standing there, I felt a chill run up my back and laughed as a breeze brushed past my face tousling my hair. I could see how Brian must have let his imagination run away with him. This setting was perfect for a horror movie. Placing my hand on the tarnished doorknob, I had to use my weight to force open the front door. The hinges cried with disuse as I pushed the door open to enter the large foyer. Wisps of illumination from the outside streetlights barely allowed me to see where I was standing until I flicked on the massive flashlight clutched in my hand.

There in front of me was a magnificent staircase winding its way to the top of the second floor landing. The wine colored carpet was thick with dust and showed the history of all the footsteps that had worn it down in spots to its backing. Flicking the light from side to side, the large foyer revealed rooms to the left and right and a set of hallways on either side of the grand staircase.

‘A pleasant enough house,’ I thought before entering and closing the now moaning door behind me. The sound of the closing door was eerie, and I looked back to make certain that the latch had caught before moving on. I wasn’t about to let the creaking noises of an old abandoned house scare me away. After all, I had the chance of asking out a beautiful girl, once I proved this house was not haunted. I couldn’t wait to get this night over with and my only concern was that Brian would not remember his promise and not understand if she said yes when I asked her out.

Pulling the loaded backpack from my shoulders, I began my tour of the house by walking into what must have been a formal parlor at one time. The beam from my flashlight bounced off the ceiling to reveal ornate crown molding adorning the top of the walls. The aged wallpaper must have been silk, as it seemed to have withstood the test of time. Only strands here and there of the rich colored paper were frayed and hanging. Walking deeper into the room I saw where shadows of portraits must have hung because looking closer you could see the original glory of the wallpaper.

The creamy white marble fireplace was still intact and remnants of ashes in its iron grate testified that it certainly had been in use, and if I wasn’t mistaken, recently. The mantle was wide and long enough to hold my supplies so I began to empty my backpack onto the dust-covered surface. Large candles, matches, bottled water and snacks were only a few of the items that I had brought to occupy my time until the night passed. Heaving a thick paperback novel onto the mantle sent a flurry of dust and soot into the air and dancing into the stream of light from the flashlight. Coughing and backing away from the mini-dust cloud that filled the air, I aimed my flashlight around the room and saw what appeared to be a sofa covered by an old dusty paint cloth.

Heading to the spot, I clutched the stained covering with one hand while slowly backing away. Hoping to flush out what I’m sure would be a family of mice that lived in whatever was under its surface; I quickly snapped my wrist and sent the cloth flying to one side of the room. Listening for the pitter-patter of tiny feet I held my breath not sure what to expect. Silence and more dust greeted my efforts to reveal nothing less than what had to be an antique.

Elegant mahogany wood graced what had to be at least a hundred year old camel back sofa. The upholstery was still plush and deeply rolled arms framed the stuffed back and seat. How it survived, this long, was a testament to the workmanship of that bygone era. The deep garnet of the fabric matched the color contained by the room’s wallpaper. It must have been magnificent in its heyday.

Poking and prodding its surface and checking for critter infestation revealed that it was a perfect spot to spend the night in reading and sleeping as it was uninhabited. Pulling it closer to the fireplace, I began to light the candles that I had brought for the night. Placing mirrored tiles behind them amplified the light until it appeared almost bright in the room. I had learned the mirror trick when a power outage had left me in the dark for several nights this past winter so the knowledge came in handy now. Hauling out the last items stowed in the bottom of the backpack would keep me warm as well.

Shining the flashlight up the chimney, I checked to make sure it was clear of nests and other blockages before adjusting the damper for the fire I would be lighting. Taking the two ready-made fire logs and placing them carefully in the heavy iron grate, I grabbed the matches and lit the logs. Soon I was rubbing my hands over a cheerful fire that warmed the room and looking around the deserted space, I was quite content with what I’d accomplished in the short time I had been there. ‘I’d finish the tour of the house later if I got bored with my book,’ I thought.

Giving the sofa a final thump I braced my back against the plush arm and crossing my legs settled back to enjoy the novel that I had remembered to bring along. Hours later glancing at my wristwatch I was amazed by how much time had passed. My stomach was reminding me with its persistent growling of the apple, cheese and crackers that I had provided for the evening. Getting up to retrieve my supplies from the mantle I checked that the candles in their deep glass sconces were still safely burning and because of their large size should last the night. Grabbing the baggies that held my snacks, I gave a final glance to the fireplace before settling back down onto the sofa.

With my goodies in my lap, I continued to read and eat while occasionally picking up my thermos of hot chocolate, sipping the sweetness from its stainless steel opening. ‘This is better than camping,’ I thought. I paused to wonder what Brian was talking about as nothing had occurred since I had entered the house. I finally admitted, just to myself, that I had spent the first few hours covertly listening and suspiciously watching the doorway, just in case. I had been on edge, but as the night passed without anything happening, I began to relax. Well, relax as best as you could while staying in a deserted house.

Checking my wristwatch again, showed that it was almost midnight, so balancing my back deeper into the sofa arm I propped my legs up on the other arm, and picked up my last two supply items. I had taken a small pepper spray canister and a piece of wood from the bottom of one of my old crutches and placed them by me earlier when I had first settled down. The canister I picked up as a just in case scenario for wild vermin. The wood I had was unscrewed from the bottom of a crutch, my reward, for a failed attempt of learning how to snowboard last year. The wood would act as a short club and come in handy if anything got past the pepper spray. Closing my eyes, I decided to take a nap, safe in the assurance that I was prepared.

A cold breeze passing over my body roused me from a very good dream. Shivering, I turned over intending to see if the fire was still burning. I opened my eyes and focusing on the fireplace noticed that the flames were still going strong; however, they seemed to be buffeted by a heavy wind. Rubbing my eyes and yawning I turned to scan the room but nothing appeared amiss. The rotted curtains still hung at the window, limp against the unbroken glass. Pulling myself upright, I moved my legs to the floor deciding to check the front door. Slightly stiff from sleeping on the sofa, I crossed the room stretching out the kinks, impatient to get back to sleep.

Seeing that the main door was still tightly closed, I recalled how its hinges had raised a racket when I first came through. ‘Well, the breeze isn’t coming from there,’ I thought. Irritated at the unnecessary interruption of a good dream, I stood in the doorway trying to feel where that draft of cold air had come from. Looking about I could see no reason for its cause and since it had stopped when I got up; maybe it was just a downdraft from the chimney. With that conclusion, I headed back to the sofa and warm fireplace, hoping to catch a few more hours of sleep. Closing my eyes, I drifted off again.

I’m not sure how much time had passed when I became drowsily aware of an odd pressure on my groin. I felt and then heard my zipper being pulled down. Startled from sleep, I shot up to a standing position and then crouched down. Quickly scanning the room for danger, I saw nothing. Looking down, I realized that my hand was clenched around the hard wood from the crutch. Fully awake I slowly stood and managed to relax my grip seeing that there was nothing in the room. Standing there in silence, I waited, not knowing what was happening. Scratching my head and yawning, I thought, ‘Maybe I had been dreaming again?’

Then the strangest thing happened, my zipper started to slide down all on its own! Watching it happen, I quickly pinched my arm, hard. No, that wasn’t it I was awake. I quickly pulled it back up. Backing up against the sofa, I watched as it was pulled back down again. Startled I dropped my club and put my hands in front of me, waving them about, in an attempt to stop what was going on. Nothing was there. Suddenly, something pushed me down on the sofa and as I started to rise, I found myself pushed down again.

Flailing about against the pressure holding me in place, I felt a yanking at the bottom of my legs. My shoes were being pulled off and as I tried to bend over to reach them, I was once again thrust against the back of the sofa. My trousers were now being tugged down. Clinging to the top of them was useless, as they were torn from my grasping fingers. Struck by what was happening, it was as if lightening suddenly struck me, at the realization that maybe this house really was haunted. I was suddenly dumb with fear that my dream of wanting to date Brian’s old girlfriend was going to get me killed.

My underwear was next to go, and no amount of cursing or pulling at the waistband was about to stop it. So there I was, pinned to the sofa, with no idea what was going to happen next, my underwear hanging down around my ankles. ‘Was this how the authorities were going to find me in the morning,’ I thought. It’s funny what your mind thinks under intense stress. Instead of worrying about what was going to happen next, I imagined them entering the home and seeing me naked on the sofa with God knows what done to my body. I cringed at the telephone call to my family and them having to identify my weirdly mutilated body. Suddenly, I was shocked back into reality.

It felt like a moist mouth had engulfed my flaccid penis! Straining against my invisible restraints, I looked down to see my limp cock standing up away from my body and being manipulated by some unseen force. The fear was overwhelming and I began to panic at what was going on. I kept opening and closing my eyes hoping it was just a bad dream. My eyes flew wildly around the room while I tried to break the hold on my body. Even in this terrible scenario, the body has its automatic reflexes and the sensation of my cock being manipulated was starting to make it hard. The rubbing sensation was overwhelming and was beginning to short-circuit the fear I was experiencing. Little by little, as nothing painful happened, I began to relax, as all I felt was overwhelming pleasure. Whatever was happening wasn’t hurting me yet.

‘Oh my God, I’m getting a blowjob from a spook,’ I thought in shock.

As I watched, the foreskin was moved up and down from my cock’s head with a firm squeezing motion. I witnessed my shirt buttons being plucked open one by one and inanely wondered if a ghost could do two things as once. Unseen hands pulled the bottom of my shirt up and lifted it off my body while another set of hands began to play with the nipples on my chest. They tugged and pulled the tormented tips until they were stiff peaks that radiated pleasure down to the tip of my cock. The invisible entity was now going crazy on my cock. I could see and feel the end of it being depressed and bent this way and that and the sensations were running wild through my body and mind.

Gasping at the sensations, a mouth covered my own, and began to kiss me passionately. It teased and sucked my lips until I kissed it back. The sensation was so odd, to feel a mouth on mine but still be unable to see it. A tongue slipped through during the kiss and tangled with mine, inviting me to tame it into submission. Overwhelmed by the sensations flooding my body, I found myself seduced into responding back with a passion that nearly engulfed my being. Feeling my body being maneuvered down flat on the sofa I felt hands spreading my legs apart balancing one atop the back of the sofa and the other with its foot on the floor.

In that splayed position, my balls were wantonly exposed and I began to tense up until I felt soft lips bestowing gentle kisses to the tightening surfaces. A slick tongue began to play with first one then the other while the lips that followed started to suck them inside to coat them with lusty swipes of a firmer tongue. The lips on my mouth pulled away and I moaned with lust only to be silenced again by another pair of lips.