Big Love (10 page)

“Who’s Ralph?” Zing asked.

“He’s in the gay guy department. His human works at Google.”

“Oh.”

“He explained to me about Google’s face recognition software.” Annabelle pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to Zing. “He wrote down the instructions on how to make sure Dove’s Facebook photo is really of her.”

Zing studied the paper. “This looks way hard.”

“I think with your three heads it’s going to be a breeze and it might even help get Carol and Miracle together.”

“Because they’re meant to be together?”

“That’s right. Remember we all have our destinies.”

“I wonder what my destiny will be,” Zing mused aloud.

“Follow your heart. You’ll find out.”

***

Zing was asleep when Miracle softly tapped on her door. “Zing honey, can I come in?”

Zing’s head was killing her. It hurt worse than a brain freeze. “Only if you bring some aspirin. I have a ferocious headache.” She placed both hands on her head like a vice grip and squeezed.

“Your wish is my command.”

Miracle returned a couple of minutes later with a glass of water and two aspirin. She handed them to Zing and sat on the edge of the bed.

“Why does my head hurt so bad? Was it because I was angry?”

“Maybe, but I think it has more to do with the cheesecake and wine.”

“Too much sugar?”

“Yep.”

“Is this what you call a sugar crash?”

Miracle nodded. “Are you okay other than your headache?”

“I guess. I’m not mad at Carol anymore. Annabelle came and we talked. She’s right. Most people don’t believe in guardian angels.”

“But some of us do.”

“That’s what she said. But she did give me this,” Zing said, handing Miracle the piece of paper with Ralph’s instructions on them. “It’s to help us uncover the real Dove Lance.”

Miracle studied the sheet of paper intently. “Hmm.”

Zing didn’t know if this was a good “hmm” or a bad “hmm,” that was the problem with “hmms.”

“Where’d she get the instructions? Do they have computers up there at HQ?”

“Who do you think invented them?”

“Oh.”

“How’d it go with Carol? You know, after I left?” Zing asked.

“She invited me to come in for a free donut tomorrow. I take that as a good sign.”

“Be careful, though,” Zing warned.

“Why, you think Carol will break my heart?”

“No, I mean be careful about too many donuts.” Zing pinched her waist. “Look what they did to me.”

Miracle laughed. “That’s a love handle. Welcome to being human. You might want to slow down on the sweets and have fruits and veggies instead. I’ll make you up a snack bag filled with healthy stuff for you to munch on tomorrow,” Miracle said.

“Okay.”

“You’ll like them.” Miracle didn’t meet her eye when she said it.

“As much as donuts?”

“Sure.”

“Are you lying?” Zing asked.

“Maybe just a little.”

Chapter Seven

“
Homeless Tom said thank you for the donuts,” Zing said, walking back in from the bakery’s kitchen. She sat down at the table with Carol and Miracle after turning the door’s open sign to “Closed.”

Carol studied the sheet of paper in her hands and said, “This looks like gobbledygook to me. You really think we can pull this off?”

“Ralph told Annabelle it would work,” Zing said.

“Can’t you just fly back up to wherever you’re from and have Ralph the geek angel do it for us?” Carol asked.

“I can’t fly. I’m not that kind of angel,” Zing said patiently. But what she didn’t say was that there was no way she was going home before her time was up. If Bertha caught her, she might make her stay. And Zing couldn’t bear the thought of leaving Nell.

At that moment, Nell came through the swinging door holding a bank bag. Miracle quickly snatched the paper out of Carol’s hand and, since she had no pockets in the skirt she was wearing, shoved the paper down into the depths of her cleavage.

“What was that?” Nell asked.

“What was what?” Miracle asked much too innocently.

“The paper you stuck between your boobs,” Nell said.

“Oh, that? It’s a. . .” Miracle hesitated. She was horrible at lying.

Carol interjected, “Poem. It’s Miracle’s latest poem.”

“That’s right,” Miracle agreed. “I wanted Carol’s opinion on my new poem.”

“I didn’t know you were a poet,” Nell said.

“I am actually,” Miracle said. “A very bad poet,” she added.

“There’s no such thing as bad writing,” Nell said. “Dove says you just need to get something written down and afterward you can revise it.”

“Right, I need a lot of revising. In fact, this one needs years of revising,” Miracle said.

“Will you let me read it someday?” Nell asked.

“Sure thing.”

“Speaking of revision, Dove Lance needs to do a lot of that herself. Her last book was awful,” Carol said.

“You didn’t even read it,” Nell said, indignantly.

“I read the first page and that’s all I needed. That woman never met a comma she didn’t like.”

“Since when are you an English major?” Nell asked. Her face was growing redder by the second.

“It wasn’t that bad,” Miracle said. “I read parts of it last night. The sex parts.”

Miracle and Carol laughed.

“Well, I’m glad somebody liked it. I’ll make sure to tell Dove you enjoyed it,” Nell said, tossing a dirty look at Carol.

“Yeah, make sure you text her because she won’t talk to you on the phone,” Carol said.

Nell crossed her arms over her chest. “I don’t know why you don’t like Dove. She’s never done a thing to you.”

“I don’t like her because I’m afraid she’s not who she says she is and she’s going to break my best friend’s heart,” Carol said.

Nell softened. “You’ll see. Dove is nice and she does care about me. When you meet her, you’ll see.”

“Yeah, sure,” Carol mumbled.

Nell looked at Carol as if trying to read her. Finally, she shrugged. “All right, then. I’ve got to make the bank deposit, so I’ll see you when I get back,” Nell said.

“The three of us are going to go for a walk,” Carol said.

Nell turned. “A walk?”

“Yeah, you know, exercise,” Carol said, walking two fingers across the table top.

“We’re trying to be healthy,” Zing said. She picked up a baggie of carrots, celery, and apple slices, and shook it in Nell’s direction. She opened the baggie, selected a piece of celery, and munched on it. She smiled at Nell and made exaggerated yummy noises. The truth was, Zing couldn’t stand celery. It didn’t have much of a taste at all. And it didn’t smell anything like a donut. It smelled like something that came out of the ground, not an oven.

“Zing discovered her spare tire,” Miracle explained.

Nell laughed. “The donuts caught up to you, huh?”

Zing sadly looked down at her belly. “How many vegetables do I have to eat before it goes away?”

“Just swallow, honey,” Miracle said, patting Zing’s arm.

“Well, enjoy your walk,” Nell said.

The three women silently watched Nell walk out the door. When they were sure she was gone, they resumed their whispering.

“Why did you tell Nell that you think Dove Lance isn’t who she thinks she is? Zing asked. “Shouldn’t we have proof first?”

Carol took a carrot out of the baggie. “I’m hoping Nell will come to her senses without our intervention because I still want to be her friend when this is all over. I don’t want her to hate me—not to mention we’re business partners,” She snapped the carrot in half with her teeth. “Gawd, these are awful.” She spat it out into a napkin.

“Why do you think they’re always sitting in the crisper drawer?” Miracle said. “The only way I like carrots is in carrot cake.”

“If I go for a long walk, can I have a donut then?” Zing asked.

“Sure, just have something with fruit in it,” Carol said. “Then you won’t feel so guilty.”

“I’ve always found that physical exercise increases blood flow to the brain,” Miracle said. “Some fresh air will do us all good. Maybe we can come up with a plan. We can call it Operation Dove Lance.”

“Let’s walk down by the park,” Carol said. “Maybe we can find some squirrels or rabbits to feed these vegetables to.”

Miracle and Carol rose from the table and walked toward the back door. Carol whispered in Miracle’s ear, “So, you just read the sex scenes, huh?”

Miracle giggled and looped her arm through Carol’s.

Zing switched off the lights and followed behind.

***

“It is such a nice day,” Zing said, tilting her face toward the sun. “I love the way the sunshine feels on my skin.”

“It is nice,” Miracle said. “That’s one of the best things about having you as a friend, Zing. You make me stop and realize how beautiful the world is—the sights, the smells…”

“It smells like garbage and dog poop,” Carol said, interrupting their serene moment. “Let’s get the hell out of the alley. I don’t know how Homeless Tom eats his donuts out here.”

“He doesn’t eat them here. He takes them to the park,” Zing said. “Where the air is fresh, the birds are singing, and he has compatriots to commune with his humble soul.”

Miracle and Carol stopped and stared at her, open-mouthed.

“What?” Zing asked.

“Compatriots?” Carol asked.

“Commune?” Miracle asked.

“Did Tom tell you that?” Carol asked.

Zing nodded. “His exact words. Maybe we’ll see him. He might even know things that will help with Operation Dove Lance.”

“Yeah, I’m sure a man with no money, no home, and only one pair of pants will be a regular fount of information,” Carol muttered.

They turned the corner onto the sidewalk. A woman with a blond ponytail and decked out in active wear—tights, dry-wick T-shirt and cross-trainers—was clumsily trying to maneuver four dogs on leashes down the sidewalk. She wasn’t doing a very good job. The dogs were running and bouncing all over the place and it was all the woman could do not to trip over their leashes.

One of the dogs ran a tight circle around Carol and its leash tied her ankles together. Carol stood still with her face reddening and her temper skyrocketing. Miracle put one calm hand on Carol’s back. Carol took a deep breath and kept her temper in check.

“I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. . .” the young woman stuttered. She quickly unwrapped the leash from Carol’s ankles. “This is my first day as a dog walker. It’s harder than I thought.”

Zing squatted and scratched one of the dogs behind its ears. “Why, hello there, Peggy. Fancy running into you. Seems like forever.”

The dog barked and licked Zing’s face. Zing giggled.

“You know that dog?” Miracle asked.

“Sure do,” Zing said.

“That dog’s name is Duchess. Not Peggy,” the young woman said.

“Oh, no, it’s Peggy for sure,” Zing said. “I’d recognize her anywhere.” Zing stood and smiled at the young woman. “You must walk a lot in your line of work.”

“I suppose so,” the woman said.

“I need to walk more. I’m having a spare love tire handles problem.”

The woman chuckled. “That’s one of the reasons I’m doing it.”

“Uh-huh, that’s great. It was really great to meet you,” Carol said, inching away. “Now, let’s go, Zing. We’ve got work to do.”

The woman smiled gratefully at Carol. “Sorry about the mishap. Thanks for understanding.”

“No problem, just watch what you’re doing next time,” Carol said.

Carol and Miracle walked away, arm in arm, but Zing lingered. She asked the woman, “So, can anybody be a dog walker or do you have to go to school for it?”

The woman looked at Zing over the rim of her sunglasses. “Are you for real?”

“I’m as real as you are. For now, anyway.”

“The only requirement is that you like dogs and you like to walk.” The woman pulled out a business card from a secret pocket in her tights and handed it to Zing, saying, “Here you go.” She pushed her sunglasses back up her nose.

Zing studied the card. It was plain with red lettering that said:
Mindy Williams, Jill of all Trades
. Under that was a local phone number.

The woman said, “You can call that number if, you know, you have any more questions about dog walking. Or. . . you ever want to go have coffee or something.”

“Thank you,” Zing said. “Maybe we could have donuts with fruit in the middle.”

“Sure,” the woman said.

The dogs became restless and pulled on their leashes, dragging Mindy after them. “So, what’s your name?” she called over her shoulder.

“Zing.”

“Great name,” Mindy said.

“So is yours,” Zing said.

As the dogs dragged Mindy down the street, she made the “call me” signal at Zing. Zing waved goodbye and called out, “Bye Peggy! See you later!”

Zing had to run to catch up with Carol and Miracle who were two blocks away. She showed them Mindy’s business card. “Look what Mindy gave me.”

Carol shook her head and said, “What is it with you? You’re like some kind of chick magnet.”

“Chick magnet?” Zing asked. She looked over at Miracle for a translation.

Miracle explained, “She means that girls really like you and they want to go out on dates.”

“Oh. She was just being nice,” Zing said. “She likes coffee and donuts, too.”

“I bet that’s not all she likes,” Carol said.

Miracle poked Carol in the ribs and gave her a “shush” look. Then she looked at Zing and said, “So, that dog you were petting. . . You used to have a dog named Peggy?”

Zing shook her head. “Nope. That was my friend, Peggy. She’s an angel, too.”

“Say what?” Carol asked.

“Peggy’s in a different department than me. She’s a helper angel. We roomed together during basic training.”

“That was a dog,” Carol enunciated slowly.

“Right,” Zing said. “Dogs are angels. They come down to earth in canine form to help humans. Didn’t you know that?”

“Can’t say that I did,” Carol said skeptically.

Miracle smiled brightly. “Makes perfect sense to me.”

Carol raised one eyebrow and asked, “What about cats?”

“Oh, cats are aliens,” Zing said.

Carol nodded. “You’re right. It does make sense.”

***

When they arrived at the park, they found Homeless Tom sitting on a bench by the pond feeding bits of donut to the ducks. Zing wondered if the ducks ever got a spare love tire.

“Hey, Homeless Tom,” Zing said.

Carol scowled at him by way of greeting.

Miracle stuck out her hand. “It’s so nice to see you again, Tom.”

Tom stood up and took her hand gently in his. He raised her hand to his lips and kissed it lightly. Afterward, he said, “My fair maiden of grace and charity. I am most charmed to see you again.”

Carol rolled her eyes, but Miracle beamed.

Tom continued, “Your cab driver friend, Steve, was most helpful to me the other day. I had to go to the Veteran’s Hospital and he carried me in his cab. He gallantly waited with me. Steve is an exceptionally pleasant young man.”

“Why do you always talk so funny?” Zing asked. She took a jelly donut from Tom’s box, considered eating it herself because it had fruit in it, but instead pinched off a piece and put it down on the ground. A duck waddled up and snatched the pastry before his buddies figured out what was going on.

“He’s pretending to be debonair,” Carol said.

“It is not an affectation. I was an English scholar before my fall from grace.”

“Yeah, and I used to be the Queen of Spain,” Carol muttered.

Tom smiled good-naturedly and said, “And what are you fair ladies up to on this fine and glorious day?”