Binocular Vision: New & Selected Stories (37 page)

Myrrh slept in the room next to Angelica’s. She spent most of the day in the house, though sometimes she took a walk with the youngest grandchild, who still spoke only her native Spanish. They came back looking peaceful, carrying pails of blueberries. They sat next to each other at the table. “Silent, depthful,” Myrrh said one dinnertime: an actual remark, apparently addressed to Gran. “Reminiscent of Abigail the lumber woman, our progenitress.” Gran nodded.

At night the kitchen became Gran’s domain. Here she endured her famous insomnia. She read books about extinct mammals and examined her childhood collection of bird skeletons. “My cat brought me the corpses.” She smoked. She worked chess problems and played an old flute. By day the flute rested on a table in the big useless front hall; the instrument, too, caught the light.

T
OBY AND
A
NGELICA
were drifting on the lake. He rowed from time to time. Her fingers trailed in the water. It was a cliché of a pose. Why strike a pose for this amusing relative, her favorite. He was like a brother, like a sister … “We are a terrified family?” she wondered aloud.

A different fellow might have forgotten he’d thrown out the phrase. Toby remembered. He remembered the dates of kings and presidents. He remembered all their Scrabble disputes. Could you really add
-tous
to
anathema
? You could;
anathematous
was right there in the
American Heritage
. He could recite entire paragraphs from the books they chose for the nine months each year they were apart. In Angelica’s Paris house, in Toby’s dormitory cell, the cousins read by arrangement Ransome, Colette, Naipaul … During the past year they’d read Russian novelists. They agreed to study Russian at university—no one in the family spoke it; it would be theirs alone. This summer Toby kept trying to Russify various words—Gothamgrad, the Volvoskaya, anathematouski.

His gray eyes searched her face. He was not smiling. “Terrified. Look at yourself,
moy
Angelica. You have every reason to be confident. Beauty—don’t shake your head,
dushinka
. Those
ochi charnya
, your eyes are yellow, not dark, but I don’t know the Russian for yellow”—as if he knew the Russian for everything else; the scamp had about five words. “You belong to a noble house …”

“Don’t talk nonsense, Toby. Jews recognize only … nobility of purpose.”

“Spiritual meritocraski, sure, but we’re a first family all the same.”

“—okay,” she said, sighing.

“And yet … our importance rests on sand, and we all feel it. You feel it.”

“The diamonds, you mean?”

“They’re carbon. I mean a metaphysical sand … no, metaphorical,” he corrected, suddenly sounding very young. “It shifts, the sand. It casts us out, or accepts us unwillingly. We don’t belong anywhere, so each generation flees to some other place.”

“Portugal,” she said. There was a shameful legend: some ancestor had advised the Portuguese king against sponsoring Columbus’s voyage. “We started in Portugal.”

“We started in the desert, like everybody else.”

They had reached a cove. “Literal sand,” he said, hopping out, dragging the boat onto the tiny beach with Angelica still seated in its stern. He helped her get out; all the grandchildren had been taught good manners. They walked up a path, Toby leading the way. “
Terrified
was too strong,” he said over his shoulder, giving her a glimpse of his rippling profile. “Uneasy … that’s what we are.”

But now she had indeed become terrified. His long straight hair, held back by a headband; his brown back; his buttocks taut within iridescent trunks. Like many Parisian teenagers, she found older men sexy. She planned to marry someone mature and experienced. She planned to teach in the Sorbonne like her father and his father. She’d continue pencil sketching. Young men were a necessary feature of her life plan. She knew she would soon surrender to one, but this littermate? His shoulders, so bony …

They stopped in a clearing. An old stone fireplace, stumps, an abundance of pine needles. He turned to her.

“Will you, Angelica Laurentovna?” His voice was grave. Had he embraced her she would have spun away. But so respectful a request …

“Yes,” she said, her terror melting.

She stepped out of her bathing suit. His eyes widened. He flipped his trunks off, flung them onto a branch. She lay down. Needles stabbed her back, her nape. He knelt, she spread, this was how, wasn’t it; and he entered her like a … chemist, she thought, someone intent on transferring liquid from beaker to vessel without accident. He frowned. Helplessly she whimpered. He looked at her with hungry eyes,
merde
, his desire was more painful than the pain, at last thank God he closed those
ochi grayski
. He thrust once, twice, and all of a sudden it was over. His head slammed onto the pine needles. “God,” he said. “Angelica, sorry, too soon,” he said.

Poor boy, his first time, too. She turned wet eyes toward his burrowing head.

“Did it hurt a lot?” he mumbled.

“Yes.”

“It won’t next time, I promise.”

I
T NEVER HURT AGAIN
. What a strange boiled stalk he had. It grew from fleshy mauve pads. Veins ran along it. It wore an opaque cloak during the few days each month they dubbed terafacient, though that their issue would be monstrous was not at all certain. “I think there has to be generations of inbreeding,” Angelica said one night.

“We share approximately one-eighth of our genes,” he said, spent, garrulous, his familiar nose pointing toward the bedroom ceiling. “But that’s only statistical. We could share as many as half, our mothers could be as alike as twins, you never know, everything is chance.”

“No, fate.”

“And that hap of yours—whatever happened to hap?”

“Shh, not so loud. Our fate was decided long ago,” she insisted. “Before dinosaurs, even before Jews.”

They didn’t return to the clearing in the pines. They met here instead, in Angelica’s bedroom. Its furnishings had been flung upward by generations of Gran’s forebears who never gave anything away, who never moved out of New England, who never had to flee to a new land with the family’s assets distributed about the person of the youngest child. Beside the bed a copper pheasant stood in a brass bowl on top of a skeletal night table. The deep reds and greens of the darkening wallpaper had run into each other and become one rich color. A glass-fronted bookcase held medical textbooks. “They belonged to my great-uncle Jim,” their grandmother had said. “Good old Jim. Never too drunk to make a house call.”

The windows on the third floor were shaped like lozenges, with smaller lozenges their panes. These windows opened outward on a hinge. Their screens had been made to order a hundred years earlier, and were now full of holes. “Ridiculous diamond windows,” Gran grumbled. “Maybe a century ago somebody anticipated my alliance with a great Antwerp house.”

“I thought they thought you’d hook up with some inferior primate.”

“My parents feared I might marry a monkey, yes. And maybe I did.” Gramp had a monkey’s long upper lip and wide nostrils. A tall, well-dressed monkey, an organ grinder’s handsome pal. He and Gran were reputed to have had youthful arguments that involved broken crockery. But Gran’s remark was said softly. This plain stick of a woman loved her playful husband. He loved her in return. Their love brought the three daughters back to the inconvenient summer house. “We are replicating an ancestral passion,” Angelica told Toby.

“Any excuse will do,” he said, and grinned.

In Angelica’s nighttime room, she and Toby, black marble statues, rubbed each other into life. The medical books were obscured behind the discolored glass, but the young lovers knew the titles by heart, knew even their order on the shelves.
Principles of Otolaryngology
,
Textbook of Ophthalmology
,
Advances in Epidemiology
… “Which epidemics back then, do you think?” Angelica murmured into Toby’s shoulder.

“Influenza, rheumatic fever, Jew hating.”

Angelica looked past him at the copper pheasant in the brass bowl on her night table. “Rheumatic fever isn’t communicable.”

In one of the Antwerp graves lay a little boy who had died of rheumatic fever: Jacob, a year older than Gramp, his constant playmate. “So many decades ago … and I think of Jacob every day,” Gramp had said in his monkey’s grating voice. “Siblings can be closer than spouses.”

Angelica wondered if the pheasant could ever be separated from the bowl. “Some people are struck down early,” she said. The old truth seemed like new wisdom.

“Little Jacob? Yes. Not the Nazi boot: a bacterium. Hap, dear girl.”

O
N THE FOURTH
T
HURSDAY
in August the youngest grandchild at last deigned to speak the language she had long understood, and demanded, in grammatical English, to be taken with the other kids to a traveling carnival. She came back happy, with cotton candy in her hair and vomit on her clothing. “Loop the Loop, it was a mistake,” her father confessed. She wisely refused dinner and allowed herself to be bathed by Angelica and put to bed by her mother. By chance one of Gramp’s business pals turned up and took the child’s place at the table. He was a Broadway angel; he saw the house as a stage set and the family as the cast of a three-act comedy and he said so at such annoying length that Gran put him on kitchen duty. Twice during the evening he draped his long arm around Angelica’s shoulders.

“I’d like to give him a karate chopakoff,” said Toby, much later, and he sliced the air with his flat, rigid hand and knocked the copper pheasant to the floor. The brass bowl shuddered for a while, as if thinking things over; then it fell, too. The rickety night table, deprived of purpose, collapsed. “Stop!” yelled Angelica’s brother from the boys’ room on the other side of Myrrh’s. He was subject to nightmares, and the three crashes might have had nothing to do with his cry.

Shortly after midnight Angelica awoke to a different sound. Was it the wind in the pines, telling of autumn and separation? No: it was a large object being dragged along uncarpeted flooring. She heard grunts, also, and unpleasant words. Then she heard bumps. It was a crate, wasn’t it, perhaps with a frightened girl inside … It was a large wooden trough … After all, it was something ordinary, a suitcase, and it had reached the back stairs. It tumbled down.

Toby slept. Angelica pulled on shorts and a T-shirt and sped down the back stairs herself. She opened the door to the second floor’s landing with its exquisitely carved railing. Myrrh was making her way down the rightmost branch of the grand staircase. She had her luggage in temporary control. What an old-fashioned valise it was, a hardened oblong with a chevron. It must have been elegant, once. Myrrh wore a yellow coat and a glazed brown hat, the outfit resembling a vile custard dessert she was in the habit of preparing. Her soliloquy had become louder. She reached the broad middle part of the staircase where the two large branches converged. She kicked her suitcase. It crashed into the front hall.

Gran came out of the kitchen. Smoking, still in her daytime costume of pants and sweater, she looked up at her relative. “Myrrh,” she said. “What.”

“Not another minute,” Myrrh said, clumping down the final stairs. “Decadence. Hospitality betrayed. Are youth and beauty always to have their way?”

“The family is here for another two days, three at most.”

“I am retiring to my brother’s house tonight.”

Gran puffed. “The arrangement is that you will stay here for the summer. As always.”

“Funk the arrangement.”

“Fuck. The first bus isn’t until six o’clock.”

“I am leaving this sinkhole now. I will walk if necessary.”

Silence.

“Do you hear my words, Grace?”

Silence.

“I am capable of waking up the entire dissolute, spoiled-rotten household, aswim in its liquidity—”

Gran sighed. Her gaze rested on Myrrh, then traveled upward to Angelica, then traveled upward farther. “Girls! Get back to bed.” Angelica looked over her shoulder in time to see three bedroom doors close, her own parents’ last—she got a glimpse of Mama’s interested dark eyes. Gran now glared at Angelica. “Shoes.”

Angelica descended the stairs, edged around Myrrh, ran into the kitchen. Another cigarette smoldered there. She stubbed it out, found her deck shoes, returned to the hall. Gran tossed her something. She caught the something—the keys to the Volvo.

She had never driven at night, but it turned out to be easy to slip through the black-lacquer woods. There were some silver filaments—pine needles picked out by the moon. The long road ahead of them, their road, was soft and gray, like the dust in the fringe of the scarf on the piano. Would Russian prepositions be sensible? There were about a hundred tenses, she’d heard: the iterative, the durative, the … They reached the two-lane highway. In the back the elderly women were silent, the suitcase upended between them like a shared suitor. They reached the town.

“Où doit-on aller?” Angelica asked her grandmother.

“Après la gare, au droit.”

“Cut the frog talk,” Myrrh said, her voice piercing Angelica’s nape. “Yid. Incesticator. Won’t anyone outside do?”

“Myrrh,” Angelica wailed.

“Exocrat!”

“Turn right here,” Gran said. “Here!” and Angelica had to step on the brake, and reverse, and go backward. Finally she was able to turn. A few hundred yards along this road was a sign—
BILL’S CABINS
—and an office with a porch where a weak bulb burned. A narrow figure appeared under the bulb.